Chapter 23

Despite downing the massive coffee Rossi brought us, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Hudson's mom, Shayna, left to try to talk to his doctors about his latest test results. I've enjoyed her company for the past few hours, but I can feel her pain as she waits for her son to open his beautiful eyes. And I know she's scared. So am I.

She is warm and welcoming—so different from her son, who is grumpy and mysterious. But I guess if I had gone through what he has, I'd be the same way. His mom hasn't asked about our relationship, and that's good because I don't know what I'd even tell her.

I widen my eyes in an attempt to keep them open. It's useless because my body is so exhausted. Meanwhile, my brain won't shut off. I keep my hands over Hudson's before laying my head on his bed. Within seconds, I feel myself dozing off. I try to fight it, but it's useless. Ever since this nightmare began, I haven't slept. I guess my body has finally exhausted all its energy.

I drift further into a deep sleep, and when I hear a mumble, I almost think it's in my head until I feel him stir.

I lift my head quickly, and the drowsiness from a mere second ago quickly disappears. I almost choke on my own breath as his eyes gradually flutter open. Right away, he squeezes them shut again. Because after a few days of sleep, I'm sure the bright, sunny room is a lot to take in.

Reaching for his face, I brush my hand against his cheek. The stubble he normally has is longer than I've ever seen it. And as I wait for him to fully wake up, tears gather in my eyes and soak my lashes.

"Hudson," I whisper, "wake up."

For a few minutes, he seems to drift somewhere between being awake and falling asleep. But finally, his eyes open to slits, and he looks around until his sleepy gaze lands on me.

"Hi," I say, fighting back a sob and failing miserably, never being so happy for someone to open their damn eyes.

"Hi, Dove." His voice is gruff and raspy. I can tell he's tired and weak, but still, he gives me the smallest grin. "Nice to see ya."

Through my weeping, I choke out a strangled chuckle, shaking my head at him. "You asshole. You scared me."

"Sorry about that," he says. "Guess you know by now, I'm not Hudson Hercules, Mafia bodyguard."

"I do. But I'm not sure your real job is any less scary," I whisper, brushing his hair away from his forehead. "Why couldn't you just be an accountant or something?"

"What fun would that be?" he utters, giving me a playful, lopsided grin.

"Well, Agent Hale, I think we've had enough fun for one lifetime, right?" I lean into him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Boring sounds pretty good right about now." I raise an eyebrow. "Maybe a beach vacation where we do tourist attractions and ride those corny bikes into town for ice cream?" I shrug. "We could get really crazy and rent Jet Skis."

"Now, you're talking." He reaches for me, cupping my cheek and sliding his hand into my hair. "Wherever you go, I go, Dove." His eyes roam my face. "Boring or not, Count me in."

At his words, I become an even bigger blubbering mess. For the past few days, I've wondered if he'd ever open his eyes again. Ever talk. Ever call me Dove. I was terrified his heart would stop beating and I'd never get the chance to tell him how I feel.

"Do you mean that?" I whimper. "I know I'm not … who you want. And I wish more than anything I could turn back time and bring you your wife and baby girl. I'd give anything to do that for you." I sniffle. "But, Hudson, I … I love you. And I promise, boring or crazy, count me in too." I cringe. "Although I'm not going to lie, I'd love to just move you into a nursing home now and make you live the safest, most boring life. Just to keep you here longer."

"Hey, I'm not that much older than you." His expression changes, and I can feel my cheeks begin to burn. "Did you just tell me you love me?"

"I mean … maybe. So what?" I bite my bottom lip, then quickly pull away and stand. "Oh my gosh! Your mom! She needs to know you're awake!"

"My mom's here?" He turns toward the window. "And where the fuck am I?"

"Still in Italy. And, yes, she is." I quickly rush toward and out the door before wrapping my hand on the doorframe and peeking back in at him. "I love you. Don't move a muscle. And do not go back into a coma. I'll be back in, like … three minutes, tops." I point my finger toward him. "Don't get any ideas on trying to get up either. You have something attached to you that's probably going to hurt, coming out."

His eyes grow wide, and he picks the blanket up and looks down at his body before shooting me a glare. "A fucking catheter? In my dick?"

I shrug my shoulders and pull my lips to the side. "It was that or piss the bed. And I'll admit … that might have been a deal-breaker." I scrunch my nose up. "I'll be right back."

"Hey, Dove," he says, catching me before I bolt out to find his mom.

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

My heart does something it has never done before. It squeezes. And then it explodes. Finally, it feels like there are a thousand butterflies inside my chest, all fighting to get out. I've never really even dated anyone. Not seriously anyway. And I've certainly never felt like this.

This feeling makes it hard to think, let alone move. But on unsteady feet, I head out to find his mom.

Hudson Hale just told me he loves me.

He. Loves. Me. Back.

I move around, thankful as hell that I no longer have a catheter in because the thought alone makes me want to puke. The nurse washes her hands before heading toward the door.

"Is it okay if they come back in now?" she asks kindly. "Your mom and wife."

I should tell her that I have a wife and it's not Briar because it's probably disrespectful to Cami if I don't. But for once in a long damn time, I don't feel the need to do that. Somehow, I know that Cami knows I will always love her, and moving on doesn't mean I'm letting her go. I will never let her or our daughter go. I'll carry them with me for the rest of my life. But Briar is here, and as much as I tried to fight it, I've fallen in love with that woman.

"Yeah, now that you took care of that … issue, I'd love to see them," I answer, resting my head back on the pillow. And trying not to think about the thing the nurse just pulled from my dick.

I got to visit my mom for a total of about five minutes before I could no longer stand the thought of having that … thing … in my pecker. I rang the bell for help, and within minutes, someone was ready to help me out.

Thank fuck.

The bullet I can take. A catheter? No.

My mom comes in by herself, tucking her phone into her pocket. "I called your sister and your aunt Mara. Between the two of them, they are going to let the rest of the family know you're awake."

Walking to my side, she plops herself down on the edge of the bed and puts her hand on my forehead. "I'm so glad you're okay. When Agent Rossi called me—" She stops, looking down. "I was so scared I wouldn't see you again." Her expression grows pissed, and she widens her eyes in warning. "But guess what. The second you're healed, I'm going to kick your ass for putting yourself in such a dangerous position." She cups my cheek, her voice turning to a whisper. "Sometimes, I feel like you don't care if you live or die, baby. It seems like you gave up six years ago."

I study my mom's face. For so many years, I've avoided her. And aside from sometimes helping my sister at Peaches, I've avoided my family. I've avoided everyone I love. Because I couldn't fucking bear to be around them. I didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted to run. And all that running took me into so many dangerous situations that I went into without flinching. So many people have died fighting to make this world a better place. And yet I'm still here. Even though for a long time, I didn't want to be.

"I didn't care," I whisper, and I watch her fall apart. "Because I was so tired of the pain." I point to my chest. "The pain in here." I feel the pain from my wound, and I need to take a second to breathe, but I push on. "I care now though, Ma." I nod my head. "Someone came along and reminded me that just because a big part of my life was over, and for that, I'll never be the same, I'm still here. As long as my heart beats, I want to love her the way she deserves to be loved."

Happy tears roll down her cheeks, and she smiles as her eyebrows pull together. "Briar?" She says her name softly, and I nod once.

"Yeah," I exhale. "I love her, Mom. And that's something I never thought I'd say again for the rest of my life. For so long, I just thought that I had the love of my life and that since she was gone, I'd spend the rest of my time alone. I was fine with it too."

"And then she crashed into your life," she says with a smile.

"She did. She was forced into the most terrifying situation, and she stood there, so strong. And I just … I couldn't look away from her." The picture of her face the first time I saw her flashes through my mind. "And even in the worst circumstances, with the wickedest human beings, she never changed."

"Maybe it's okay for us to get a second chance at a happily ever after?" My mom's voice is small but sad. "And maybe that doesn't take away the love we had for your dad and for Cami." Grabbing a tissue from the tray next to the bed, she blots her cheeks. "Because, baby, all Cami ever wanted was for you to be happy. That was the most important thing to her."

My throat burns with raw emotion. For so long, I pushed down everything inside because I was afraid that I wasn't strong enough to let myself feel it. Like, if I let it out, I'd never recover. But right now, I'm not pushing it down. Cami and our daughter don't deserve to be pushed down. They are too special to me for that.

"We're going to be okay, kid." She hugs me gently, murmuring into my shoulder, "Promise."

For the first time in six years … I think she might be right.

Rossi walks into the room. I know he's been at the hospital since I woke up over an hour ago, but I think he was being respectful and giving me some time with my mom and Briar.

"You look like shit," he says, the corner of his lip turning up before he glances at Briar, who sits at my bedside. "You sure you still want this guy now that he looks so damn ugly?"

She raises her eyebrows and pulls her lips to the side. "I guess he'll do." Standing up, she leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. "I'll give y'all some time to talk."

My mom stands and takes a few steps to where Rossi is at the end of my bed. Tapping him on the back, she pats his cheek. "I'm glad you boys are safe now. But if you pull anything like this again, I'll kick your asses clear to next week."

"Yes, ma'am. Understood." Rossi grins, and she releases him.

Once Briar and my mom leave the room, he walks over to the window and looks outside. "Fuck, man. I know this is what we're trained for, but you scared the shit out of me." He looks at me, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, I thought you were a fucking goner. I thought we all were."

I haven't talked to Briar about how I got out of there yet. I know she had to leave a bit ago to get a smoke inhalation treatment, but with doctors and nurses coming and going to check on me, I didn't get a chance to ask her.

"How did I get out of there?" I reach for the cup of water Briar brought me and take a sip. "What really happened?"

Leaning against the windowsill, he hangs his head. Lifting it slightly, he swallows. "How much do you remember?"

When I close my eyes, my mind goes back to a lot of places. One being pure darkness with Briar screaming for me to stay with her. The other is a place filled with lightness, where I got to see my wife and daughter.

"I remember watching you shoot Enzo. You pumped his chest full of lead, and blood soaked his shirt, and his eyes grew lifeless as he sank to the floor." I take a breath, and it sends pain shooting through my entire chest from my bullet wound. "The adrenaline was rushing through my body so much; I guess I didn't realize I got shot until my chest felt warm, and then I could feel the blood rushing out of me." I look down. "Then, it all goes black. But her cries …" I pause. "I could hear her crying. And screaming. I thought for sure I was a dead man."

"So did I." He nods. "But I didn't shoot Enzo, Hale."

My eyes move to his, and I frown. "What?"

"The girl shot him when he lifted the gun to you." He looks upward before nodding a few times. "She saved you. Probably saved me too. Because he only got one bullet into you before she lit his ass up and dropped him where he stood." Pushing off the wall, he comes beside me, gripping my shoulder. "And then she helped me carry your huge ass out of that place. I mean, I blacked out just before we got out of the house, but before I did, I was lugging you, and she was at your feet, helping." His lip turns up. "Girl's a hero. And damn fucking brave."

"Holy shit," I whisper. "Dove shot Enzo?"

"She sure did." He nods. "And she didn't even flinch."

Being an agent, I've killed, and I've watched others kill. It's something I've had to become immune to because it's part of the job. It comes with the territory. But Briar James didn't sign up for that. And yet she stepped in when she needed to and saved my fucking life.

"Enzo might have gotten the easy way out of his punishment, but his father, along with many others, are going to rot in prison until they die," Rossi assures me. "We got everything we needed. It's over."

"And Beckett?" I ask, raising a brow. "What happens to him?"

"Believe it or not, he's been incredibly cooperative. Apparently, when the units left the United States to head to Vittoria Island, he was asked to provide any information he had. And he came forward with a lot." He shrugs. "He's not the best person, but Vittoria Island wasn't his deal."

I attempt to sit up straighter in bed, but it fucking hurts my entire body, and I cringe like a little bitch. When Rossi sees this, he moves forward, helping me upright myself, which annoys me more because I hate needing help from anyone.

"So, what?" I ask once I'm situated and Rossi is seated in the chair beside my bed. "He traded his niece for connections, has been illegally bringing drugs from Italy into the States and selling them, and he just gets to walk away? That's fucking stupid."

Rossi's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. "What? No. Fuck no, man." He shakes his head quickly. "He's going to prison—for a long time. But as far as Vittoria Island goes? He wasn't involved."

"All right." I exhale, content with his answer because even if that motherfucker wasn't an active member of the sex-worker island, he's done enough bad shit in his life that he should be behind bars. For a long, long fucking time.

His expression grows somber, and he runs his fingers over his chin. "It was an honor working this mission with you, Hale. And if I had to choose a last job before I get the fuck out of this shit, this was it."

I jerk my gaze to his. "You're done?"

He wrings his hands together. "Yeah, man. I've got too much to lose back home. I've had enough adventures to last me an entire fucking lifetime. It's time for me to hang it up. While I still can."

Pushing my head back on the cushion, I blink a few times. Rossi has been the closest friend I've ever worked with. I've known the guy for a long damn time. And if he's leaving, it doesn't feel right to stay without him. But I'm not quite ready to make that call. Not yet anyway.

Holding his fist out, he bumps it against mine. "Glad you're alive, Hale. Next step: let's get the hell out of here and back to US soil."

I smile because that sounds so damn good right about now. "You aren't kidding."