21. Jasper

Chapter twenty-one

Jasper

" L and ho!" calls the lookout, and thank fuck.

Sleeping with Reina in a hammock, surrounded by other sailors, has not been good for my frayed nerves. I've wanted to punch more than one of them for looking at her, and one got so bold as to get handsy, and him…Well, I had to explain to Alejandra why he was overboard.

It's been impossible for me not to hold her every night, wrapped in each other and sharing heat, her legs tangled with mine, my knee pressed between her thighs. I could practically feel her aching for me to apply a little more pressure, a little more movement. And how I wanted to. But we were surrounded by men and women who have no business hearing the noises she'd make, and I would've drowned anyone who did.

Reina's absolutely loved every second of it, of course, since she can see it's bothering me. This woman perplexes me. She hates me, yet she wants me to touch her, and then she absolutely abhors being touched by someone else but delights in watching me squirm.

Unbelievable.

Finally, we can get ashore and away from Men. Then I can explain things to her properly. Perhaps that will stop the torture.

"I can't wait for a bath," Reina says as she looks out from the bow toward land. "We have enough for a bath, right?"

I shrug. "I could throw you in now and save the coin."

She rolls her eyes with an audible groan. "You're far moodier than usual. Bad morning?"

"Bad trip all around," I quip.

She scoffs. "Consider your prisoner's position."

I unfortunately consider her in positions I shouldn't.

Why hasn't my Heat abated? Mother told me it would be days' long at most, and now it's been almost two weeks. I can't stop craving her, needing her, and every moment I don't take her is a testament to my vast patience.

"So, do we have enough for a bath?" she asks.

I pat my pocket where the other six gold sit. We still need to buy a tent and supplies for the four weeks' trek inland, and a mount of some kind would be best, but I doubt what's left could get us anything. We'll need to stay in town tonight and then be on our way tomorrow.

In the other pocket I have her earrings and three rings. It was good Reina decided to dress up for the event, giving me more than enough to trade with.

"Yes, we do," I say.

"Thank the gods," she breathes.

"You can thank me. I'm the one getting you the bath."

"No doubt with my stolen goods." She glares at me. "I will not thank you. You're the cause of all this."

That's true, but I don't like it. I want her to be grateful. I crave her approval. Please, just look at me with affection.

Fuck. Maybe I am moody.

"And when are you going to tell me—"

I clamp my hand over her mouth. "Hush."

She bites me again, but I'm so used to it that I can't help but adore the attention. Her eyes glow as we stare one another down.

I lean in over her shoulder. "I told you to save that for the bedroom, sunshine."

She grumbles something behind my hand that sounds a lot like "vulgar" and "bastard," which makes me smile. She doesn't call anyone else vulgar bastard. Just me.

What a pathetic thing to be excited about.

My hand falls to her waist as we watch the massive port grow on the horizon. The Illyan town of Alvara is a large, bustling center of activity. Thousands of Men live here, and thousands more visit every month to drop goods and take ships to elsewhere. It's the farthest northern port in Illya, and a good city to get lost in. I spent years here in my younger days when I'd become a Man out of necessity, for survival.

"What are you thinking?" Reina whispers, her hand clutching mine on her side.

My chest constricts as I realize she's scared. Of course she is. Reina wasn't allowed to leave the palace. She wasn't trained or educated in other cultures and their languages. She's going to be depending on me to get us through this.

And I will.

"I'm thinking about your bath later this evening. Maybe I'll help scrub your back with the sponge this time."

"Tsch, you wish," she says boldly, but her voice still carries a note of concern.

I squeeze her fingers gently and she squeezes back. My heart bursts with hope and possibilities. Maybe when she hears my side, she won't detest me. Maybe she'll want to help me.

Maybe she'll want to be mine.

"Really, though," she says. "What's going through your mind?"

"Where I can sell your earrings. If we can get enough supplies for several weeks' trek inland with the proceeds. What we'll eat without fresh fish, because I know the inland rivers are sparsely populated this time of year. If we'll be late…"

She looks up at me. "Late?"

I nod. "I'll tell you soon."

She sighs deeply, her annoyance clear in the way she draws it out.

She can be annoyed. I'll tell her everything soon.

Alejandra calls out commands the closer we get, ensuring we're prepared to dock. Unlike at the smaller mining operation, we will be going all the way into port here and be able to disembark straight from the ship. And that should be the last we'll see of the good captain.

The mark on her wrist isn't broken, and she can still hear, so I know she hasn't betrayed us. Perhaps she never will. An alliance with a princess is a powerful thing, one she will likely need in the future if she's to overthrow her uncle.

With every league closer we get to port, the band around my chest tightens. I have to tell Reina the truth soon. What if she doesn't care? What if…what if she rejects our mate bond? Am I to wander the world for the rest of my too-long life, pining for a woman who refuses to accept me?

"You're hurting me," Reina says.

I relax my grip on her. "You're especially sensitive this morning."

"And you're especially nervous. I don't like it," she says.

Her eyes are round and hold so much worry. I don't ever want to be the source of her fear. I don't want her to be concerned that I don't have this under control, because I do. Don't I?

"Too long at sea and not in the sea," I say to cover my real fear.

She hums, unsatisfied with my answer. "You're going to tell me everything."

"Soon," I say again.

We pull into port slowly, and the long paddles come out once we're within the larger commerce area of the harbor.

"I'll be seeing you again, Amaya," Alejandra says when we bump against the stoppers at the dock.

"I look forward to the day," Reina says as she extends her manacled hand for a shake.

"What are they teaching you?" Alejandra tuts with amusement and glances around at her crew. Satisfied that everyone is busy with their work and not watching our interaction, she puts out her foot. I tap her toes with mine. Reina scowls, then follows suit.

"The Sly Sailor has decent prices and rooms. It's closer to the harbor, but you'll be safe to bed down there for the evening," Alejandra says. "In the morning, go to the east end of town to get your supplies. Cheaper there. Look for a donkey or an ichan from the farms on the community boards. Might get a deal."

I nod, despite knowing exactly where I'm headed already. "Thank you."

The captain dips her head and then leaves us.

"Ichan?" Reina asks.

"It's a large snail-like creature. Slow but strong, and never needs to sleep."

"Snail," she says with a wince.

"You'll get over it, just like you did ripping guts out of fish with your bare hands."

She pales at the mention, and I almost laugh. She's too easy to rile.

"Why would we want a slow mount if we're going to be ‘late,'" she asks, and…good point.

"We don't, but I wasn't about to tell the captain that. She was trying to be helpful."

Reina laughs, the sound a delight to my ears. "Incredible."

"Me?" I preen. "Yes, thank you."

"No, that you have manners hidden somewhere under all that scoundrel."

"Or I know how to pretend to have manners," I say.

She narrows her eyes. "It's the same thing."

"I beg to differ."

She sighs, exasperated. "Oh?"

"Knowing what manners are and being able to fake them is very much different from respecting why those manners exist."

"You're right." She looks off into the distance for a moment, then glances at me. "Fuck you."

"What a filthy mouth." I grin. "Maybe we will tonight."

She growls in frustration as her scent shifts. "You're so vulgar."

"I think you secretly adore it," I whisper.

Her cheeks flush with color. "You're delusional."

"Then why are you aroused?"

She glares at me and my smile grows. She can't deny it, and we both know it.

Sailors lower the gangplank and Alejandra ushers us off her ship. Some of the Men wave goodbye to Reina and she—being the little brat that she is—smiles and waves back, sometimes blowing a kiss, too. I want to catch all the imaginary kisses and hoard them for myself.

What a stupid thought.

The streets of Alvara come back to me easily, despite some of the storefronts having changed in the last two years. No one pays any heed to the man escorting a prisoner, since bounty hunting is a common enough profession, especially in port towns.

We make it to Alejandra's suggested stop, the Sly Sailor, and it is indeed reasonable to bed down. Just one silver for a room and a meal, breaking one of our gold down to nineteen silver.

The room is…barely acceptable. But it's better than a hammock in a hold shared with thirty other sailors. Now I have Reina to myself again.

The meal in the dining room is fish soup and fresh bread, which Reina devours. I love seeing her eat well. She was so slight before, and even with our dietary restrictions while traveling, she's putting on muscle and weight that is sorely needed. Her mother kept her much too thin.

And "much too" many other things. Much too secluded. Much too untrained.

Reina flops down on the single mattress bed after dinner and holds up her wrist as she stares at me. "I'm ready for bed."

Those words have an unnecessary amount of heat pumping through my veins. I try to ignore it as I pull the key from its new hiding spot in my back pocket. She watches me with bated breath as I hold her wrists and insert the key. When the manacle comes free of her right wrist, I let my thumb smooth over her scarred skin. She shudders at the touch and blue fire flares in her gaze.

I tap the magus lamp and cut the flow of magic to the crystal, casting us into darkness. The window is boarded, and the only light is the sparse fire from the hearth beyond our door. Reina's eyes dance with her magic, and mine shimmers across her skin.

"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" she asks.

The knot in my gut tightens. "Not tonight."

"Why not? You said as soon as—"

"We're too exposed. Do you want to be hunted?"

Her face hardens. "Perhaps."

I clamp the other manacle on my left wrist and crawl over her onto the mattress. She tries to keep space between us, but I refuse to let her. She didn't like my answer. I didn't like hers.

She's mine.

No one will hunt us. I'll end anyone who tries.