17. Chapter 17

She had to swallow three separate gulps of air before she could force words out to answer Callum. "Tell me one thing."

"Yes?" His brow furrowed.

"Was that the real you back there with Lady Agnes?"

His head snapped back. "You have to ask me that? That was exactly what we talked about me doing—being a pious, controlling ass."

Her eyes closed, her breathing slipping even more out of control.

He grabbed her shoulders, probably to steady her, but it just sent her heart thudding hard in her chest, her entire body near to being out of control.

"Hell, Nem, look at me."

She couldn't do it.

His fingers tightened into the back of her shoulders. "Look at me."

She forced her eyes open.

"I scared you?"

She nodded. She didn't want to admit to it.

But he did.

He was the exact reminder of how horrible of a mistake one could make in a partner. How close she had come not once, but twice. Everyone could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Everyone was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

How Callum had acted in front of Lady Agnes was a stark reminder of that.

He grabbed both of her arms, making her face him, waiting until her look crept up to him.

Her body froze, petrified stiff, as he slowly leaned down to her, his face only a breath away from hers.

"Look in my eyes, Nemity. What do you see?"

She forced her look into his, only to find the silver in his irises were sparkling, cutting into her.

Her lips parted, her words a whisper. "I see…I see the light from the torches."

"You think that light would reflect in my eyes if I was truly as soulless as I appeared back there? That light is for you. So you know I am in here. I am still the Callum you know."

He shook his head, closing his eyes as he drew in a deep breath. He opened his eyes, his look still sparkling with intensity. "That was not the real me back there with Lady Agnes. That was me channeling the ghost of someone well gone from this earth. It is not who I am, and not who I'll ever be. If you are ever, ever, wondering who I am, you look for the light in my eyes. It will guide you right back to the real me."

Her breath caught in her throat.

Heaven help her, she believed him.

It may be the stupidest thing she'd ever done in her life, to trust him. But she did.

He just gave her the one thing she needed in life—Georgette and Jacob safe—and he did it at apparent cost to himself dredging up his past.

Not that he would ever actually tell her of his past.

She exhaled, collapsing against him, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her in the cocoon of him for long seconds. His chin rested on the top of her head.

So long, she began to wonder if it was more for his benefit than for hers.

His chin shifted against her head. "Lady Agnes just left her supper box and is making her way toward the main entrance. Her gout must have worsened with the drizzle." He pulled back slightly from her to see her face, then glanced around at the frivolity surrounding them. "Would you like to leave?"

She caught his eye, and a mischievous smile touched her lips. "No, Susannah would like this. I wasn't lying earlier. She would like that I am here. She would scold me for not living life to the fullest if she saw me sulking home now. So this—this festivity about us—this is how I need to honor her."

He smiled, genuine, and nodded.

She glanced to her left. "Do you know what Susannah liked to do best here at Vauxhall?"

"No."

"She liked to lead a merry chase through the dark gardens." With a laugh, she ducked out of his arms and ran down the closest allée, turning left at the first corridor of hedges before she took another right.

Callum's footsteps thundered behind her, along with a "blasted woman" muttering from his lips after every turn she took.

Turning to the right, she yanked herself to a stop. This alcove she knew, and luckily enough, it was empty. She scampered into it, spinning back toward the tight entrance, the gravel under her feet crunching.

Under an arbor of vines at the entrance to the alcove, Callum stood heaving in the dark, the outline of him only visible from the light cast far in the distance by the thousands of hanging lanterns.

In here, with the overcast skies, it was dark and perfect.

He took one step in. Two. Three.

All she needed, and she rushed him, her lips meeting his as her arms wrapped around his neck.

His hand slid in along her jawline, adjusting the angle of her head so he could deepen the kiss, and she sank into the overwhelming air of him.

It was like this each and every time he kissed her.

Overwhelming and mind numbing. She lost each and every thought in her brain, except for the crushing urge to rip off his clothes and crawl onto him. And then to let everything she was smother into his being.

She backed up, pulling him with her until her shoulder blades brushed against the shrubbery.

There. Far enough into the alcove that one could only see the back of him if they stumbled by the opening.

One would know without a doubt what he was doing, but there was no telling who he was doing it with, or even who he was.

The perfect spot and she was going to utilize it to its full possibilities.

He pulled up slightly. "I don't want you to ever be scared of me, Nem."

"I'm not. I see—I see the you that would never hurt me, never put me at risk. I see that, who you are underneath this brawn that people don't like to look beneath."

His breath hitched. "Hell, you're destroying me right now."

She chuckled. "Let me help you out and make that complete destruction."

She popped free the buttons on his fall front, his shaft spilling into her hands.

Damn, he was so big. So big and hard she'd been sure he was going to split her in two that first time he sank deep into her.

To her utter surprise, his shaft had slid flawlessly into her, like the best fitting glove, every nook and cranny filled to perfection. The man had stamina beyond anything she'd experienced—able to control himself until she was writhing, coming violently on his cock.

His lips captured hers and he kissed her, his tongue diving deep until he pulled back, biting her lower lip. She exhaled a shuddered breath. He knew she loved that. That he didn't treat her like delicate China that could break.

He demanded things of her body, pushed her to the edges of pain and pleasure and she loved every second of it, more than happy to oblige him in however he wanted to contort her body.

And in this moment, she was frenzied, looking to get devoured like she never had in these gardens.

She wrapped her hands around his neck and his fingers went down to her thighs, dragging at her dress, making quick work of finding his way beneath her skirts.

His hands gripping the back of her thighs, he lifted her, setting the tip of his shaft at her entrance. Her legs wrapped around him and she captured his face in her hands, staring down at him as he impaled her on his cock without preamble.

Her head fell back, her eyes closing as he filled her deep, pressure hitting her from the inside out in all the right spots.

He lifted her, his cock sliding smoothly out of her, before slamming back into her depths.

Again and again and again.

A frantic pace that ground across her hardened nub, making every second he filled her to the hilt its own moment of ecstasy. Over and over until she was panting into his neck, mewls she couldn't control starting. He grabbed her by the back of her hair, pulling her head back so he could lock his mouth over hers, swallowing all of the sounds she made.

A growl vibrated from his throat into her, and he lifted her, then plunged up into her in a definitive thrust. Her body shattered in that second, and just as the explosion overtook her, she could feel his cock expanding within her, pulsing, his hot seed filling her before he could pull out.

What should send a spike of fear into her chest only sent her orgasm into a level she didn't know existed, her inner walls clenching brutally hard on him, waves of pleasure searing through her body.

His mouth pulled away from hers as his arms wrapped around her, locking her onto his body with his chest heaving, warring with her for space.

His face buried into her hair, his voice low and raw. "I don't know how you wreck me like this every time we're together, but it's only getting worse."

Her face buried in his chest, she sucked in a deep breath.

She knew exactly what he was talking about, because it was the same for her.

A slippery slope for both of them, and damned if she wasn't sliding down that hill head first.