Chapter 38: Two Weeks Later

We're almostat my father's estate, minutes remaining until I have no choice but to face my entire family. Their looks of pity. Or worse, walking around me on eggshells, like one wrong step and I'll crack.

Maybe they're used to death, the betrayal of others from being who we are. But I'm not. I'd like to say the time has helped somehow, but that's a lie.

I don't know if anything will erase the pain I feel every moment I think about Karen. I try to pretend I'm okay, but I know Devlin sees right through me.

Unfortunately, I had to return to school. They wouldn't allow me to take courses online mid-semester, and switching to a new school would've been even more of an issue for my credits, so I decided I had to go back. I can't allow my grades to plummet.

Those first few days I was back, students would come up to me and tell me how sorry they were about Karen. They'd cry and hug me while I had to stand there and console them. It was awful. Luckily, over time, they forgot about me. Karen didn't really mean anything to them. Not like she did to me. I was her actual friend.

Sure you were, you idiot.

Feeling like a fool, I bite down so hard, my jaw aches.

She was never my friend.

My knee bounces, and Devlin's palm is there, squeezing my thigh as we pull up to my father's estate, the guards letting us through the gate.

"It'll be okay," he reassures me.

But I don't know if I believe him.

He parks in the driveway beside one of my father's old-fashioned cars, and when I open the door, my stomach knots. I've never dreaded seeing my family, not until now.

Devlin comes around to take my hand, bringing my knuckles to his lips. "Your father assured me no one will talk about what happened."

I purse my mouth. "Okay."

He pulls me to my feet, and together, we make it up the cobblestones, where two more guards are nodding to us in greeting before letting us inside.

Noise carries into the foyer, laughter and the clinking of glass reverberating.

He clutches my hand as he leads me toward my family, and when we enter the twenty-seat dining room, every pair of eyes lands on me. Even the Messinas are here, and why wouldn't they be? We're all one big, happy family now.

I instantly want to run, to escape this awkwardness, but Devlin simply squeezes my hand reassuringly, and I feel a fragment better.

He clears his throat, and my father and Fernanda immediately stand from their chairs.

"There she is! The birthday girl!" He rushes to me and hugs me tight, kissing the top of my hand, his eyes searching my face for signs of my broken heart.

He sighs and gives me one last kiss before Fernanda comes to embrace me affectionately.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." Her brows tug, and she pats me dolefully on the shoulder before walking away.

I hate this. I truly hate it.

Fionn comes up to us next, with my other two brothers trailing behind.

Iseult, though? She remains seated beside Gio, her eyes holding mine.

"Before you know it, you'll be as old as me," Fionn teases.

He's only thirty-one. Not old at all.

"Or better yet, like this one." He slaps a palm across Tynan's back, who's seven years older.

Tynan's not amused, giving him a stern look, but when he looks at me, his eyes grow softer.

That was always the thing with Tynan. He was the one most people feared, but I knew my brother. He was hard on the outside, too hard, but he had to be, growing up the way he did: the oldest, the one who would one day take over for my father. But he was a good big brother. He looked out for me growing up. Read to me when I'd wake up in the middle of the night with a nightmare.

"Want a drink?" He leads me to the bar, and I pass Gio and Iseult, both looking up at me.

I can tell from her face she wants to say something, probably something I don't wanna hear.

But instead, she says, "Happy birthday, sis."

"Thanks."

Tynan reaches for a glass and pours me some white wine.

"I'm not supposed to drink." My grin grows.

"I won't tell if you don't." His lips play as he hands me the liquor.

I take it to my mouth, the murmur of a burn gliding down my throat.

"So, how's married life?" he asks, tossing back a whiskey neat.

"Good. I guess." My eyes wander around the room, catching sight of eight-year-old Brody.

He sits beside Sophia as she chats him up, showing him something on her tablet. But the boy with the golden-brown hair and green eyes remains silent. Because silence is all he knows now. After all the trauma of losing his father, then his mom to suicide not even a week later, he stopped speaking, and no one can get him to talk again.

Tears bathe my eyes just imagining what he went through. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone either.

But our fear is that this is now permanent. The doctors tell Tynan that he needs time and more counseling, but that hasn't helped.

"How's he doing?" I ask Tynan, glancing between him and Brody.

He blows an exhausted breath, running a hand down his face. "Not well. He still wakes up from nightmares and jumps into my bed, shaking and crying until I can get him back to sleep."

I blink past my emotions. "I'm so sorry."

"It's him I'm sorry for. Everything he went through…it's not right. And for what? Fuck, Eriu. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a father."

"Hey." My face falls, and I place a hand on his shoulder, looking squarely at him. "You're amazing with him. You give him stability, love, acceptance. You don't push him. You let him be. That's what he needs."

"Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I should do more. He misses his parents, his mom especially. They were close. And she just—" He pinches his temple and shuts his eyes, shaking his head.

"She was hurting, Tynan. She loved Aiden. They were high school sweethearts, remember? And she couldn't see a way past her grief. She loved Brody, but she was in pain, and sometimes when we're hurting, that seems like the only way to escape it."

He exhales sharply. "Yeah. I know. I don't hate her. I just wish I could do more for him. But I'll never be enough."

I fear he's right. That Brody will always feel this emptiness where his parents' love once was.

Suddenly, my father clanks his glass, getting everyone's attention, and the room falls quiet.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming to celebrate my baby girl turning nineteen." My dad's eyes crinkle at the sides as he looks at me with a smile. "You have grown into a beautiful, smart young woman, and every day, I'm even more proud of you." He clears his throat. "I can't wait until you become a bigshot author so I can read your books and tell everyone my daughter wrote them."

"Thanks, Dad." I swipe under my eyes, feeling his words in my heart.

His acceptance is what I've always wanted, and now I have it.

I rush over and give him a hug.

He holds me tight, whispering, "I love you, darling girl. Your mother would be very proud of you too."

Kissing the side of my head, he pats my back, bringing me to his side as he looks around the room. "Before the cook brings our appetizers, I wanted to make an announcement."

Devlin comes over to Tynan and gives him a knowing look.

What was that about?

"So, as some of you know, I plan on retiring." He reaches for Fernanda's hand. "My beautiful wife and I want to do some traveling, and I want to give her everything she wants. Therefore…" He locks eyes with Tynan. "It's gonna be on you now, son. I need you to take over for me, but you know the condition I have. You have to get married."

Tynan grumbles a response.

"Don't give me that look," he tells my brother. "I want our bloodline secured. You hear me? You've been postponing it long enough, and you're gonna be forty soon. It's time."

Fionn chuckles under his breath and Cillian looks equally amused. Everyone knows my brother's feelings on marriage: he wants no part.

I don't know why. He would make a good husband. After a while…

"Why the hell do I need a wife? I have an heir right here." He gestures toward Brody with a tilt of his chin. "And you've got other kids who will give you plenty."

"Never enough, son. Not with the life we live. And you know it. You have two months, tops. Find a respectable young woman and make her your wife. Maybe smile a little, would ya? Give her some incentive to say yes." My dad's features light up from Tynan's annoyed expression.

"Yeah, whatever. Fine," he grunts.

"Great! Hear that, Fernanda? Greece, here we come."

She rolls her eyes. "You take your time, Tynan. Getting married is a big responsibility, and you want to ensure you choose the right one to raise your children. I'll deal with your dad." She pats Dad on the back.

Tynan pours himself another drink, shaking his head while continuing to mutter to himself.

Iseult finally strolls up to me and throws an arm around me. "Hey, sis. Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

I can feel it coming. When my sister wants to say something, nothing can stop her.

"Let's go take a walk."

And there it is.

When I give her an irate look, her arm tightens around me.

"Please?" She glances at me, leading me out of the room and past the foyer. "Just ten minutes, then you can tell me to fuck off, okay?"

"Fine." A woosh of a breath leaves my lungs.

We make it out to the back of the estate, the perfectly manicured lawn smelling as though just freshly cut.

Lights illuminate the vast property as we start away from the towering mansion.

"I hate beating around the bush, Eriu. I hate not being able to speak my mind with you like I always have. And you have always listened to me, so please…" She turns to me and takes my hand. "Listen to me now. Okay?"

I nod, glancing down at my feet, my heart beating faster. Part of me doesn't want to hear it, but another part wonders if my big sister can maybe help me somehow. I hold on to that hope as we settle on a bench, both staring out into the darkness.

"I know how much this hurts. How badly it feels to be betrayed by someone you opened up to. Someone you considered your best friend. You were there when my own friend betrayed me. You know what I did. What I had to do. So when I say I know what you are going through, I mean that."

She's right. She does. I haven't even thought about how similar our situations are.

"At least Karen felt remorse," she continues. "She was forced into this, and of course that's horrible too. But she did love you." She faces me now. "It's okay to love her and hate her at the same time."

An ache stings behind my eyes.

"And I know you must wrestle with all these emotions, seeing her everywhere, in everything you do, because that's what happened to me. But if you can't talk to us, then you have to talk to someone." She reaches into her jeans pocket and retrieves a card, handing it to me. "She's a therapist. I vetted her before I saw her myself."

"You went to a therapist?" My eyes grow.

My sister was always against shrinks. Our mom's death hit her hard, still does, but she never wanted to talk about it.

"It was Elsie's idea, actually, and she was right. I feel lighter somehow, like I'm not holding on to this baggage that was weighing me down, you know?"

I start to consider it…

"Can I tell this therapist the truth?"

"That's the best part. You can. She works at Helping Hand, and she's discreet."

Maybe I should give it a try. What could it hurt? If it doesn't help, then I don't go back.

"How long did it take for you to feel better?"

"Everyone's different. You have to give it time, and you have to be honest."

I straighten my spine. "I'll go."

She breathes a sigh. "Proud of you." Her hand squeezes mine. "Now, how about we go and get at least a little buzzed, because this heavy shit isn't my forte."

"I think you're doing just fine," I say as we get to our feet. "Maybe Gio is rubbing off on you."

"He wishes."

DEVLIN

I watched as Eriu left with Iseult, and I knew she was going to talk to her like she said she would. I just hope it works. I want my wife back.

Tynan tosses back what may be his sixth drink already.

"Told ya this was coming," I tease, throwing a piece of bacon into my mouth.

"Don't gloat, asshole."

Fionn and Cillian walk over, Gio following them.

"Don't look so miserable." Gio throws a palm on Tynan's shoulder, but he shakes it off. "Marriage isn't so bad." He laughs. "Except for the unlucky woman who ends up with you."

"Yeah, yeah, fucking comedian," Tynan barks back.

Fionn reaches into his pocket and removes his phone. "By the way, got the 411 on the lady friend you're stalking."

"Wait, who are we stalking?" I ask, glancing between the brothers.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" Fionn laughs. "Elara Hill, Brody's new teacher. She recently replaced the last teacher the kid had, so Tynan had me digging for dirt on her."

Tynan grunts. "Just being careful."

"Right." Cillian snickers. "It has nothing to do with her great ass or her crystal-blue eyes."

"I'm not interested," he mutters under his breath. "Never even met her in person."

"I guess you also wouldn't like to know that she was once engaged." Fionn glances at his phone.

"What?" Tynan's eyes snap to his brother. "Let me see that." He grabs the phone from his grasp and scrolls the screen.

"Now I have his attention." Fionn grins.

"Why'd she end the engagement?"

"Don't know. Maybe you should ask her over a glass of wine."

"I saw her photos too." Cillian smirks. "She's pretty. Maybe you should make her your wife."

Tynan scoffs. "Never gonna happen. Not getting married."

"Well, if you don't want her, I'll give my Irish luck a chance."

I know exactly what Fionn's doing. And if the glare on Tynan's face is any indication, he's succeeding quite well.

"Keep your fucking hands off of her. I don't care that you're my brother. I'll kill you."

Fionn chuckles. "Yeah, you're right. You don't like her at all."

"I don't want you ruining this for Brody. He likes her. She's the only one that has him smiling lately, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that." He grabs a fistful of his brother's shirt. "If you fuck her and break her heart and she leaves, I'm gonna break your legs. You got it?"

"Damn." Gio smacks him on the back. "You've got it bad."

"Enough!" He lets his brother go. "All I care about is the boy and making sure that his new life is stable, and that includes his school life. I want to make sure she stays."

I glance at Brody at the far end of the room, playing with Sophia. It's a shame what happened to him. We all want to do more for that boy, but our hands are tied.

He'll talk again once he's ready. But Tynan isn't wrong. The right teacher could make all the difference.

And this Elara may be the one to do it.