Chapter 5

5

LOGAN

I thought graduating AGU in the summer would mean that life would slow down, especially since we no longer had men trying to kill us, but you know what's worse than war? Medical school. I am only a few months in and already feeling the effects of the heavy workload, and that's even with bribing some of the officials to give me most weekends off. Granted, I always get my work and research done on time and I never ask for my rotations off, yet still exhaustion clings to me like it did when we were fighting for our lives. The only thing getting me through the slog of it is Lincoln, and I hate to admit that, even to myself, but it's true. Being with him makes me forget everything except just being alive and free.

I'm not ashamed to admit I have looked at my phone at least a hundred times today to see if he called, which of course he hasn't, he never does, and until this morning I'd never asked him to. I'm not sure what came over me, well that's a lie, I am sure. Asher Donovan has been distracting me for years, but no more so when he is around Lincoln. I see a change in him, in both of them really, and it's like I can see a future I am desperate for, but wouldn't dare to admit to, not even to myself. Yet for once it feels just within reach, and with the wedding coming up I find myself feeling hopeful.

Staying in Black Hallows until today was most definitely a mistake, and I guess staying up most of the night getting fucked didn't help either, I feel like I have been chasing my tail all day trying to catch up. I should have driven back last night, that was my original plan, but if you saw a naked Lincoln Blackwell you would know why that went right out the window. Inked and scarred to perfection, he is truly one of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen in my life, and to see him sweating and writhing above me? Yeah, I was staying in that damn bed.

Just the memory of him brings a smile to my face as I let myself into my penthouse, dropping my book-filled bags to the floor right by the door, and kicking off my shoes right next to it. All I want to do is collapse in bed, but for the second time today I am running late, and I need to shower and get changed so I can go and meet Lily, Zack, and Max for dinner.

My penthouse resides in one of the buildings close to school for obvious reasons, and luckily it isn't too far from both Lily and Zack. I don't see Zack as much given he is running his company, but Lily and I manage to have dinner together a few times a week whenever our schedules align, and I love that we still get to spend a lot of time together. She got her degree in psychology and is now doing an internship that specializes in child psychology. I think what happened with Elle affected her more than she would ever admit to, plus we both have our own share of childhood trauma thanks to losing our birth parents, so I think it suits her perfectly. We both just want to help people, especially the ones who aren't as lucky as we are.

I shower quickly, washing away the stress of the day, and then get dressed, and head right back out the door to meet my siblings. I check my phone yet again in the elevator and almost bump right into my doorman Stanley as I leave .

"Sorry, Stan, I didn't see you there," I apologize, as he steps out of my way before I can crash right into him, and I pocket my phone with a sincere smile.

"No need to apologize, Mr. Royton," he smiles in return, just as polite and formal as always, and I almost roll my eyes as he adds, "We have a car waiting for you as per your request." I nod my thanks as he holds open the door for me and extends a hand towards the sleek black town car waiting kerbside for me. "Have a nice evening, sir."

The formality of people around me never ceases to amaze me and I should be used to it by now, I've been a Royton since I was five years old. Hell, up until a few months ago I was a member of the Kinghood, and I might have given away my King coin, but my stature within their circle hasn't changed, my last name still holds just as much power as it ever did. I feel it everyday with my fellow students and teachers, with people like Stanley, they respect me, fear me in some ways, but sometimes fear and respect go hand in hand, you only have to look at Elle King to know that. Yet despite outer appearances, I find it hard to get used to.

Climbing into the car, I greet my usual driver, and then I can't help but shoot off a text to my second favorite sister at the thought of her.

Logan: It's not too late to jilt the wedding sis, just say the word and you can have me instead, keep it in the family ??

Her reply comes within seconds as expected.

Elle: I thought you were already keeping it in my family with the Rebel you have been sleeping with…

Logan: Oh King, there has been very little sleeping ??

Elle: ????????

Logan: See you on Friday?

Elle: If by Friday you mean when you come home and stalk your boyfriend all weekend, then yes I will see you Friday.

Logan: ????????????

Boyfriend. The word bothers me more than it should, but I don't quite know why. It's not like I haven't had a boyfriend before, or a girlfriend for that matter. There have been plenty of high school and college flings over the years that would constitute the term, hell there was even that fling with my professor, but none of them have felt like this. Like free falling and never knowing if you will be caught, again it's something I should be familiar with. I have been sinking into the bottomless pit that is Asher Donovan for years, yet it didn't stop me from jumping head first into Lincoln Blackwell.

With Asher I know there is no hope, or if there is it is very minuscule. He is more fucked up than all of us, despite what he wants us to believe. I don't think he knows any true human affection outside of Elle and Cassie, and who can blame him, I only know half the horrors he must have experienced at the hands of his father and brother thanks to Elle. His mom abandoned him with those devils and they took a child and turned him into his own brand of evil. A monster molded by their hatred and neglect, who somehow still has a light inside of him that burns for his daughter and her mother. I don't know if he will ever have room for anything more, despite how much I wish he did.

Lincoln is another story entirely. I know nothing of his childhood, just that both of his parents are dead and he was in foster care for mos t of his life, but I think Marcus and Jace saved him from himself. I see the silent monster lurking beneath the surface, but then I see the other part of him, the one who was quite clearly pulled from the depths of hell by his brothers and has chosen to stay on top. I felt it the first time I laid eyes on him. Granted he had me by the throat and shoved hard against a wall, so I was feeling a lot of things that day, but I knew when we locked eyes that he was a survivor. He doesn't let the monsters of his past define him, no, he defines them, and he does it without restraint. If he wants something, he takes it, and I am more than willing to give him whatever he wants.

By the time I make it to the restaurant, I have shamelessly checked our text thread once again, before switching my phone to silent and focusing on my family dinner. I don't bother giving my name to the hostess, she recognizes me instantly and leads me to our usual table at the back where I find Max and Zack already waiting.

"There he is," Zack booms, standing up to greet me, and pulling me into a one-armed hug, which is his new norm ever since he took a bullet to the shoulder last year. I try not to think about that night too often, I still remember all the blood, and thankfully he distracts me. "You look tired," he scolds, and I have to smile because he reminds me so much of our dad these days.

"Yeah, school is kicking my ass," I admit freely, pulling back from him, and then leaning over to fist bump Max, before I take a seat.

"I bet that's not the only thing kicking your ass," Max beams with a knowing smile, and I shake my head with a laugh.

"Jesus christ," Zack mutters under his breath as he reclaims his seat. "You guys know this is a Michelin star restaurant right?"

I hold my hands up in defense. "Hey, I didn't say anything." I signal to the waiter for a drink and then look between the two of them. "Where's, Lils?" I ask, wondering how in the hell I made it here before my sister. We might be twins, but most of the time we are polar opposites. I am always running late, and somehow she is always annoyingly early, yet for once I have beaten her somewhere.

Zack opens his mouth to respond, but then pauses as he looks past me, and when I turn my head I see why. Lily is being led through the restaurant by the same hostess from a moment ago, turning every head as she goes. My sister is beautiful, and I say that in an unbiased way. She just has that strikingly pretty look about her, but it's never something she exaggerates, not usually anyway. Yet as she walks towards us I can't help but stare along with everyone else. She is wearing a figure-hugging black dress that reaches her mid thigh, with a pair of black pantyhose, and matching stilettos. Her hair falls in waves down her back and her makeup is heavier than anything she ever usually wears, and I can't help but whistle.

"Well, damn, Lils, you look hot," I praise her, standing up to pull her into a hug, and I swear I can feel her heart racing against my chest, and I pull back and frown.

"Thanks," she mutters, appraising me in return considering she hasn't seen me in almost a week. "You look tired," she echoes Zack's earlier assessment and I have to roll my eyes.

"Yeah I had a busy weekend," I mutter, pulling out a chair for her to take a seat. "Why are you so dressed up anyway?" I ask, and her eyes flash to mine in a panic. I feel like a dick for making her feel insecure, but before I can defend myself, my brother beats him to it.

"Ignore him, Lily, you look beautiful, Sweetheart," Zack tells her, as she fidgets with her fingers beneath the table, and he nudges his best friend. "Doesn't she?"

Max is already staring at her but flinches when Zack nudges him. "Stunning," he blurts, before coughing to clear his throat. "She looks stunning," he nods, dropping his stare to his drink and taki ng a hefty swill of it as Zack eyes him with an assertive stare.

I keep my eyes on my sister though and don't miss the blush that stains her cheeks at their praise. She has never been good with attention from the opposite sex. Like I said, we are polar opposites.

We quickly order food and catch one another up on what we have all been up to, and it isn't long before Max and Zack start talking about the new security procedures they have been working on and I quickly zone out. I don't hear anything they say until the mention of Lincoln's name.

"Did you say something about Lincoln?" I cut in, and both Max and my brother smile in my direction.

"Yeah, I thought that might get your attention," Zack muses, sipping on his whiskey.

"We are just talking about the travel configurations for the wedding," Max cuts in. "We finalized all the details with Elle this afternoon and then went ahead and booked all the flights."

I nod, knowing this was the plan for this week, to get everything sorted and booked, and I for one am looking forward to a vacation with everyone. "Sounds good, what's the plan?"

Zack quickly runs through everything they decided and I smile knowing that I get to travel not only with my mom and dad, and Zack and Lils, but also Cass too. She was a baby the last time we took a family vacation and it was just us Roytons, now we get the Rebels too, and Cass also gets her dad. I am nodding along to all the flight plans until Zack confirms the last one.

"Wait, Linc and Ash are flying out together three days after us, just the two of them?" I ask, praying my panic and horror doesn't sound as obvious as it feels.

"Is that a problem?" Zack muses with a smirk, and I swear my sister smothers a laugh, but it's Max who taunts me next.

"I think our little Logan here is jeal ous," he teases, reaching past Lily to tickle my cheek, and I slap his hand away.

"I don't get jealous," I snap, ignoring the feeling that now burns inside my chest at the thought of them.

This time my twin does laugh as she chimes, "Oh please, remember when mom bought me a dollhouse for our birthday when we were seven and you sulked for a whole week? That was just the start of your jealous streak."

I scoff, "I do not have a jealous streak." But all my words do is make them all laugh, and I sulk into my steak much to their amusement.

The rest of the dinner is pleasant enough, more jokes back and forth, but I can't stop my thoughts from running back to Lincoln and Asher. Which is stupid because they work together everyday, they see each other all the time, but I swear there has been a shift between them lately and I don't think they even realize it. Lincoln has been openly taunting him ever since Ash came blazing into the house a few months ago, screaming at Lincoln before they went off into private with one another. We all heard Asher scolding him for something, but by the time I caught up with them, they were in a silent stare-off that ended with Asher storming away.

I asked Lincoln about it but he silenced me with his mouth on mine and it was never brought up again. Yet since that day Lincoln has grown bolder, and Asher more watchful of him, as if they share a secret bond, and it leaves me with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is that jealousy? Maybe it is, but I guess that's my own fault for falling for two monsters.

Dinner soon comes to an end and though Zack invites us to a bar for a drink, I excuse myself and leave the three of them to hang out. I call for my car, and the whole ride back to my apartment I tell myself everything is fine, but by the time we reach it I have almost cracked my phone from holding it so tight. I barely make it to my front door before I am calling him, and I know I shouldn't, that I am being ridiculous, but as the phone rings out, I hold my breath.

I almost think he is going to ignore me, but just as I am about to give up... "Logan?" he answers with a pant, and just that one word falling from his lips settles me, yet he sounds out of breath.

"Yeah, it's me, everything okay?" I ask, holding my own breath for the answer, and wishing I could see his face right now.

"Yeah, just finished working out," he huffs back, and I imagine him shirtless and sweating, and suddenly I am smiling.

I move over to my sofa and drop down onto it, putting my feet up as I flirt back, "Without me? How dare you."

Lincoln laughs, and I hear the clanging of something in the background and I presume he must have discarded his workout tools. "How was your day?" He asks, and it seems strange to have such a mundane conversation with him, yet also nice.

"My day was good," I reply with a smile, replaying all the work I did, and the dinner I just had. "A little tiring but good, how was yours?"

Silence lingers a little and I swear he must be shrugging at me before he realizes he actually has to answer. "The usual," he grunts, two little words, and it's more words than most people would get, and they have me grinning like a fool just because I know what his usual is.

"Oh I don't know, I wouldn't call being told you have to travel on a plane with Asher Donovan alone the usual," I muse, and he laughs, a sound that sends butterflies zooming through my gut.

"Ah, you heard about that, did you?" He asks in almost a playful manner, and it makes me wish there wasn't a two hour drive between us right now.

"Oh yes, my brother seems to think I'm jealous," I ponder aloud, expecting another laugh from him, but instead he hits me with another two words that render me under his spell.

"Are you?" The question throws me of f guard because I never expected him to care, let alone ask. Casual, that's our thing, despite me feeling anything but. I knew what our understanding was, yet I can't help but feel excitement at his question. Does he want more?

"Don't be absurd," I snap back with just as much defense as I did with Zack and Max earlier, although for some reason it doesn't hold anywhere near as much truth as it did when I said it to them. I suppose I can lie to them, but I can't lie to myself, to him.

"It's okay if you are," he tells me, his tone a little gentler, the sweet side of him that he doesn't even realize he has coming out in full force, and I crave everything about it.

"Even though we aren't exclusive?" I ask, with a laugh of my own, and I can almost bet he is nodding at me, yet still I wait for his response.

"Even though we aren't exclusive," he repeats, and I can hear the lightness in his tone, knowing there is a smile on his face, that I almost don't want to ruin, but of course I do.

"What if we were?" I ask with bated breath.

"What if we were what?" He repeats back to me, and I can tell he is distracted with something, but it's now or never.

"What if we were exclusive?" I confirm, and I swear I feel the silence of everything stop around us, and I instantly wish I could take the words and shove them back down my throat.

"Just you and me?" He cuts into my regret-infused thoughts, and I find myself nodding slowly in disbelief that he even responded.

"Just you and me," I confirm slowly, wishing I could see his face right now to gauge his reaction, but I doubt I would have got the words out, especially not when I add, "Just you, me, and him."

"Him?" He immediately questions, as if he hasn't a clue who I am talking about, but I know him better than that.

"Don't play dumb with me now, Lincoln, I know you want him as much as I do, that your cock aches to take him, do you really think I would take that away from you? I would give you anything you want, especially him." I lay all my cards on the table, praying they don't force him to retreat back into himself, not when I feel like I am finally breaking through, and I don't miss the gentle sigh he lets free at my words.

"You and me," he repeats, still sounding distracted, before quietly adding, "And him."

The butterflies in my stomach explode, and I will for my tone to remain calm as I joke, "So Lincoln Blackwell of the South Side Rebels is my boyfriend then?"

I expect to make him laugh again, but there is a quiet pause, as if he too wishes he could see me before he replies, "Yeah, I guess I am."

Five words that change everything and he doesn't even realize it yet.