Chapter 24

24

LINCOLN

T he reception is in full swing, as I nurse my fifth drink of the night and pretend I'm not keeping track of Logan's movements around the room. Marcus and Elle disappeared after the ceremony and didn't reappear until an hour later, both looking conveniently fresh yet flushed. We then went through the motions of pictures, followed by food, and now I'm watching them sway back and forth together on the dance floor looking beyond besotted with one another, hence my drinking.

Now, it's not like I'm not happy for them, because I am. Nobody deserves happiness more than they do, but after Logan walked out last night and avoided me this morning, I'm not exactly in the mood to celebrate. We haven't had the chance to speak to one another all day, and I'm not afraid to admit that I'm spiraling a little. I know my admission must have come as a shock to him, but he didn't even give me a chance to explain. Now there isn't any reasonable explanation I can give him, but I'm going to try, and I'm not backing down without fighting for us.

Which is why my eyes are already on him as he finally makes his way across the room toward me. He looks as gorgeous as usual in his gray suit, his eyes a little glossy, as if he too has had his own fair share of drinks, and for some reason I'm nervous.

"Dance with me?" He asks when he reaches me, offering me his hand, all of his usual bravado still intact, but I know it's a mask.

"I thought we were fighting?" I reply, tipping back the remainder of my drink before finally looking up at him.

"So, just to confirm, when we are fighting we can fuck, but not dance? How modern of us," he muses, and I can't help but return his smirk, rising to my feet and sliding my hand into his outstretched one.

Leading me to the dance floor, we ignore the looks of all our family and friends, all pretending not to know that there is something clearly going on with us, and once there, Logan pulls me against him and puts his hands around my neck. It feels natural, effortless, like there isn't a crater of unanswered questions between us, and I find myself wishing we could stay like this forever. Yet I'm not like Marcus, I'm not exactly destined for happiness. I am my father's son, after all.

"Lincoln, I'm sorry," he starts, and I'm sure he doesn't miss the look of shock in my eyes at his words. "You surprised me yesterday and I reacted before I knew all the details," he admits softly, and a mixture of relief and unease go to war inside of me.

I'm glad he's here and talking to me, but there is a part of me that thinks maybe it would be better if he left me and never looked back. I'm not a good person, I know that, yet he is still looking at me like I am everything to him. I want to stop it, stop him, but worse than that, I want to hold on to him and never let go.

I swallow thickly, ensuring my voice is low and firm as I reply, "You were right to react that way."

"No, I wasn't," he interrupts inst antly. "I should have trusted my gut, I know you, I know you better than you think I do, and I should have trusted that and not just jumped to the worst case scenario in my mind because I was scared."

Scared .

That word slices right through me, causing a visceral reaction through my entire body, that I have to lock down tight. Emotion almost chokes me as I ask, "You know I would never hurt you, right?" My eyes are everywhere but on him, not wanting to see the look in his own. I don't want to see that familiar look of fear I evoke in people.

"I'm not scared of you, Lincoln, I'm scared that I'm falling for you, and you're going out of your way to make it easy for me to lose you."

My gaze snaps back to his, finding nothing but truth in his eyes. "You're falling for me?" I repeat in question, and his smile lights up his entire face.

"Tragic I know, but what can you do," he shrugs, the epitome of nonchalance, like his words haven't just rocked my whole world off its axis.

"Logan?" I say his name in question, and if I'm honest a little desperation, and his smile slowly drops, but I have to know if he is being serious.

"Yes, I'm really falling for you, Lincoln, I couldn't stop it if I tried." His smile is resigned now, and for once he actually looks shy, and now I can't help but smile myself, because the flirty and outgoing Logan Royton has feelings for me.

My lips are on his before he can say another word, before I can take another breath, because I'm not sure how we got here. I'm not sure how someone so light and bright could fall for someone like me, someone so cold and dark, but here we are. He kisses me back, he kisses me like I mean something and I never want him to stop, but of course I am very aware of where we are, of who our audience is, so reluctantly I pull away .

"So I haven't scared you away?" He asks, with a cocky smirk as we continue to dance, and I laugh.

"It's okay, I don't scare easy, baby," I tell him softly, his smile turning shy, as my eyes travel over his shoulders and find Asher glaring at us with a dark look. "But speaking of things to be scared of, is there any reason Asher is staring at me like he wants to fuck me and then kill me, in that order?"

Logan laughs, following my stare over to Ash, before coming back to me and shrugging. "Maybe there have been some developments in that area," he admits quietly, avoiding my gaze.

"After last night you mean?" I question, thinking back to how it felt to have Ash pinned to the bar while Logan sucked him off.

It was hot and downright maddening to push him to the brink like that, but it worked, and all it did is leave me wanting more.

"Well that, and this morning," Logan mumbles, not completely meeting my eye, and I suddenly realize I am missing something.

"What happened this morning?" I rush out, not coming across casual or relaxed in the slightest.

Logan looks back over to Ash as we sway, before he admits, "Asher cornered me in the pool house and kissed me."

"He kissed you?" I repeat, a feeling of shock, and surprisingly jealousy, burns through me with such force I almost stumble.

"I don't know what happened, one minute I was climbing out the pool and reaching for my towel, and the next I was pinned to the wall of the pool house and his lips were on mine, and then I was jerking us both off, it was fucking hot."

An unfamiliar feeling lances me deep inside as I reply, "Yeah, it sounds like it."

So why is my heart thundering in my chest at the thought?

"He's coming around then?" I force out, locking my eyes back on Asher, who is still watching us, no longer attempting to hide it in the slightest, and Logan nods.

"I think he is," he smiles, looking pleased with himself, just as the song comes to an end, and I force my jealousy deep down where no one can find it.

We enjoy a few more dances, before grabbing more drinks, and then the next couple of hours pass by quickly, with more dancing, drinking, and catching up with family and friends, making for an ultimately great day.

By the time the wedding is winding down, most of the security guys have headed out to the club on the island, and both the Roytons and the Deckers have taken the young ones back to their rooms to get some long-earned sleep. Zack and Max are laughing at the bar with Lily, drinking champagne, and both Elle and Riley are still having fun on the dance floor.

I'm sitting with Marcus, Jace, Logan, and Ash, watching the girls dance up a storm, when Jace cuts in out of the blue with, "You know when you're fucking your girl?"

"No," I snort, more than a little on my way to being drunk, but not nearly enough to be dealing with whatever he is about to say.

"I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Marcus," Jace sighs dramatically, making Marcus laugh and roll his eyes, because he knows as well as I do that whatever Jace is about to say is going to be ridiculous.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" Logan asks, in mock offense.

"Because you fuck him," Jace responds, nodding his head at me, as if Logan hasn't bedded just as many girls as him.

Logan looks between us all before he responds. "Well then, why not Ash?" He asks, and I panic slightly that Jace might make this into a thing when it comes to Asher being a Donovan, but he just shrugs again.

"Because Donovan fucks nobody. "

Asher doesn't look offended by his statement. In fact, his mask doesn't slip in the slightest, and for some reason that pisses me off, especially after what happened last night, and what Logan told me happened this morning.

"Well that's not completely true," I drawl, making all of their eyes snap towards me, yet before anyone can respond another voice cuts in.

"And what's the hot topic among the Rebels these days?" Elle asks, dropping into Marcus' lap and stealing his drink, as Jace's eyes go wide at her arrival.

Riley drops into the seat next to him as he lies, "Erm, we were just making fun of Marcus for marrying the first girl he ever kissed."

The fiery little redhead, who stole my brother's heart and brought him back to life, laughs. "Well, not everyone needs to partake in orgies before finding the one, Playboy."

Jace smirks, holding his arms out wide and gesturing to himself. "Not everyone can, Red."

We all laugh, especially when Riley whacks him in the stomach making him groan, before she focuses back on Elle. "Ignore him, I think what you guys have is sweet." The two of them have struck up quite the friendship, and often go toe to toe when it comes to my brother.

"Don't worry, Riles, I'm more than used to ignoring him, aren't I, Pretty Boy?" Elle smiles sweetly, which for those of us who know her, know it's her deadly smile.

"Says the girl who couldn't wait to stick her tongue down my throat," he replies, rolling his eyes dramatically, and earning another smack from his girlfriend.

Elle focuses on Riley now as she asks, "Can I please stab him? I promise I'll be gentle, well mostly." She pairs her words with pulling the hem of her dress up slightly, flashing the specially ma de garter that is the home for her blade today.

"Come on now, Queenie, you know I'm only playing, and I won't tell your husband that we both know who the better kisser is," Jace teases, this time earning a smack to the back of the head from Marcus, as Riley shakes her head.

"Ignore him Elle, not many people can say they are married to the first boy they ever kissed," Riley snaps, giving her boyfriend a glare I'm sure she learned from Elle.

"Oh yeah, and who was your first kiss, Red, don't tell me it was little Dicky?" Jace drawls, but I hear the hint of jealousy in his tone, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who remembers how Jace feels about her ex-boyfriend.

"No, you asshole, it was some guy named Jake. It was at camp in the summer between middle school and high school, it was pretty awful, neither of us had a clue what we were doing," Riley recalls with a laugh, as Jace fake gags at the memory.

"What about you, brother?" Jace asks, turning his focus to me, and I groan inwardly.

"Do you want the story about the young girl from foster care who thought my silence was an indication that I liked her, who made me realize I was in fact gay? Or the guy off the football team in middle school who wanted to experiment with me?" I ask, looking between them all and noting their now keen interest about the insight into my past, making me shuffle in discomfort and causing Logan to come to my rescue.

"Well my first kiss was great. I was drunk at some party during freshman year of high school, and this girl wanted to piss off her boyfriend so she kissed me, then the dude got mad, so to make it even, he kissed me too." Logan's smirk is infectious, and I hide my own in my drink as he flexes his arms out wide. "Then we all kissed each other, it was a very eye-opening night to say the least."

Jace holds his hand out to Logan for a h igh five, which he accepts, both of them as slutty as the other and proud of it. "Logan, you're my spirit animal," Jace muses, sipping his drink, before he shifts his gaze over to me and then to Asher. "What about you, Donovan?" He asks, and I swear everyone else at the table holds their breath.

I can't remember the last time Jace ever spoke to Asher directly, and despite Ash's face not changing in the slightest, I know he is as surprised as all of us, yet still he responds calmly, "What about me?"

Jace rolls his eyes, and I can see a lick of anger and restraint swirling in his stare. "Your first kiss?" He pushes him, and I don't miss the gentle squeeze of his thigh from Riley, like she is proud of him for trying.

It's no secret how he feels about him, but I am grateful to him for including him, because I know he is doing it for Elle and Cassie, and probably a little for me too.

Asher flicks his stare to Logan, watching him carefully, before he switches his stare to me and then back to Jace. "My first kiss was unexpected," he starts slowly, like he is thinking about his words carefully, and all of a sudden I have a feeling I don't want to hear whatever he is about to say. I remember his admissions on the plane all too well, what those women took from him, and though my brother doesn't realize it, he just invited Ash to share even more atrocities that I'm not sure my shoulders can bear.

"It was in a pool house," he adds, once again moving his stare between my brother and Logan, the latter now staring at him with an intensity I have never seen. "I initiated it on instinct, I didn't even think about it, I just knew I wanted it. It was slow at first, hesitant, but once it got going, it was amazing," he smiles softly, before knocking back his drink, then signaling to his empty glass that he needs another, before standing and making his way ov er to the bar.

Any jealousy from earlier evaporates, as his admission starts a fire between no one but Logan and I, as we both come to the realization that Asher's first kiss was him.