Chapter Nineteen

Meadow really had to get off this ranch. She was losing it, obsessively checking her phone for word from Ivy. Nothing had come in since the last time she checked, thirty minutes before.

Damnher sister. Where was she? Her carefree sibling spent her entire life flitting from one thing to another. In her childhood, she loved ponies, was going to raise them to sell at auction.

Then she decided she loved dogs more and raising them was the way to go, which accounted for a litter living in the laundry room for months before their father was able to sell them off.

After that, Ivy hopped from one hobby to another—painting, volleyball, softball. The basement of the house still had closets full of the equipment their parents spoiled her with for her latest obsession.

Now Ivy was hopping from place to place enjoying herself while Meadow was left here to pick up the broken pieces. As always.

She whirled and stomped back across her room, grumbling curses under her breath. When it came to Ivy, her annoyance was at an all-time high.

Worse was the overwhelming crush, of carrying the ranch alone.

I’m not alone, she reminded herself every time the weight threatened to shove her face in the dirt.

She had the ranch workers, all very knowledgeable and skilled. And her father was still alive. She had to think positive—he just needed time to heal, and in the meantime, his mind was still sound enough to offer advice about the ranch operations.

She had Colton.

He was new to ranching—he didn’t know even a portion of what he needed to in order to keep them afloat, but he was quick.

Meadow would need to study up on the ranch operations too. She’d spent most of her time working with the horses and knew little about invoices or negotiating for better feed prices.

Again, damn her sister for leaving this all to her. Raking her fingers through her hair, she spun and took off pacing the other direction. For days since her father collapsed right here in her bedroom, she had been wearing a path in the hardwood planks.

Three days had passed since that terrible night. If she didn’t reach Ivy soon, the crisis would either be over and she’d have missed it entirely—which was so unfair and exactly like her.

Or Meadow would bury her father and tell Ivy after the fact.

Issuing a low groan, Meadow snatched up her phone with the intention of calling her sister—for what? The three hundredth time at least.

She stopped and smacked a palm off her forehead. Why hadn’t she thought of it before?

She could email her. Whether or not she even answered emails these days was anyone’s guess, but she had to try.

Quickly, she shot off a short note about their father’s condition and asked Ivy to get in touch with her ASAP. Then she tossed her phone on the bed and abandoned her pacing to rifle through her closet for something comfortable to wear today. Sitting in rigid hospital chairs day in and day out required clothes that didn’t squeeze her waist, and now was not the time to care about her appearance.

She grabbed a pair of loose boyfriend-style jeans and a T-shirt that she’d stolen from Forest years and years ago. The cozy, brotherly feel of it wrapped her in the hug she could use from him right now.

She topped the ensemble with a sweater she could remove if she got too warm, but hospitals were known for being chilly.

After drawing her hair up into a messy bun, she was ready to spend another day visiting her father in ICU. The long hours were spent between sitting at his bedside, holding his hand and praying for his recovery, and long hours of boredom slumped in the waiting room, watching bad daytime TV and waiting for the next time she was allowed in to see him.

Damn Ivy for leaving this all to me,she fumed again. Was she being petty? No, she was not. Her sister should be here.

She grabbed her phone again and checked email on the off chance her sister already responded. Of course, she hadn’t.

Biting her bottom lip, she stowed her phone in her back pocket and walked out of her room. The house rang with silence—a reverberating gong that left her feeling even lonelier than ever.

Part of her wished she could take some time for herself. Before Colton came to the ranch, she dedicated most of her time to her horse, Jewel. Over the past few days, she’d neglected her horse sorely. If Jewel wasn’t receiving the training she needed to stay sharp, at least she was getting daily exercise thanks to the ranch hands.

There was also her deep need to spend time with Colton. He was so busy picking up the slack around here that she hadn’t seen nearly enough of him. He came to her at night, not bothering to sneak in through the window, and slipped into her bed.

But they hadn’t made love since the day of her father’s heart attack. Colton simply held her. And while she loved it and appreciated the comfort his arms offered…she missed his touch.

Was he being kind to her under the circumstances, thinking she didn’t want to be touched that way? Made love to? Because she did.

As soon as she reached her truck, she paused, looking around for Colton or one of the guys.

The ranch may as well be a ghost town. The silence out here was a different sort than the house, but no less daunting. Almost frightening. The soft whisper of the mountain wind was always a companion to anybody who lived on the Gracey…but it left her feeling hollow.

Her mother and brother would never return, but she hoped with all her heart that her father and sister would.

She took a few steps toward the barn, thinking of stroking Jewel’s mane and talking softly to her, grounding herself for a few minutes before going to the hospital. Her mare was always the best listener.

Or maybe she’d find Colton in the barn, performing some chore. What she wouldn’t give to spend the day in his arms rather than at the hospital.

But her father needed to know somebody was there for him, as he hadn’t been for her.

Mind made up, she returned to her truck and climbed behind the wheel. The drive through Eden resurrected a lot of memories. Of coming here as a big, happy family.

Whenever the five of them went out, people stopped her father to talk. Her mom was well-loved by the shopkeepers and the wives of neighboring ranchers. When she passed away, they’d come in droves, bearing casseroles that had kept the family in food for weeks.

As Meadow passed a playground, she turned her head to look. A couple kids were on the swings, swaying back and forth and talking. Countless times, she and Ivy had done the same. She and Forest were always closest, but she and Ivy had their moments of sisterly bonding. What happened?

Then Meadow drove past and next thing she knew, she was staring at Badlands. The establishment was closed this time of day, but she wasn’t surprised to see the owner’s vehicle in front of the distillery. She worked hard on her family business…and Meadow wasn’t putting in enough devotion to her own.

Determination washed through her. She would step up. Whether her father recovered or not, she was going to do more to keep the ranch prospering for a fourth generation.

That made a shiver run through her—the fourth generation would be her children.

At this moment, her love for Colton was so strong that she couldn’t imagine being with anybody else, even if they were just starting off together, getting to know each other’s strengths and even their weaknesses.

The loss that brought them together—and now fighting for much more—didn’t seem fair. They deserved a better chance at love.

And she wanted to explore more with Colton. She had a strong suspicion that those heated spankings he gave her were only the beginning of a wild sex life and a string of steamy nights of blazing passion.

A tingle of awareness spread through her, and she took the reprieve from thinking about her father for the rest of the drive to the hospital.

Spending the next few hours at his bedside, holding his hand and talking even when he couldn’t respond, wore her down. The nurse suggested she step out and take a break, and she felt guilty for needing one at all.

When she slunk to the waiting room and grabbed her usual coffee from the station in the corner, the strains of a game show she’d watched way too many times this week drifted through the room.

Each day was beginning to blend into the others. How much longer was she going to be here doing this? The doctors assured her that her father was making small improvements on a daily basis. She hated feeling as if she were being selfish, the brat Colton had considered her to be. That she was when he first came.

When it was finally time for her to leave, she drove home in silence without even the company of the radio. Again, the ranch seemed barren. Colton was nowhere to be seen…and she wanted to see him so damn bad.

Maybe he’d abandoned her like all the others.

Well, she still had her horse.

She strode to the barn with purpose, the fresh tang of hay in her nose. They’d cut one of the fields today and small bales had already been loaded onto the big truck to be stored for the season. Hay didn’t wait on sick owners.

She rounded the corner to enter the barn, and bowled right into Zach.

“Oh!” She almost fell over, struggling to get back the air he’d knocked out of her with his big chest.

He steadied her by the shoulder. “Sorry, Meadow. Everything all right?”

“Yes. I was just going to see Jewel.”

He gave her a look devoid of expression—odd even for a hard man like Zach Webb. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what was going on when Colton’s voice sounded from behind her.

“What’s going on here?”

A shiver ran down her spine, and she turned to him, feeling the breath hit her lungs like the only thing she needed in the world.

She looked up into the eyes of the only man who could distract her from the hell she was living through.

Without a care for what Zach thought of her being with Colton, she stepped up to him and threw her arms around his neck. Clinging to him and gathering what strength she needed to go on fighting for another day, another hour.

* * * * *

Over Meadow’s head, Colton threw a glare at Webb. That was too damn close. For days they’d been trying to think up a way to break it to Meadow that someone had brutally killed her horse.

The guys argued that Meadow was strong and they should just tell her.

Colton wanted to hand over the bastard who was responsible. Between locating the scattered herd, the constant chores and watching over Meadow, Colton didn’t have many leads. And the small-town police station was no help at all—which proved to him that he needed to take matters into his own hands.

If Colton knew anything, it was how to fight, and fight dirty. No one was going to cause any more pain to the woman he loved.

Webb narrowed his eyes at Colton. When he cupped Meadow’s head to his chest, the ranch manager looked away.

“C’mon,” he said softly to her.

Taking her by the shoulders, he turned her back toward the house, away from the barn where she wouldn’t find her horse waiting for her.

As they strolled over the thick grass, across a bit of gravel driveway, to the front porch, she was silent. What worried him more today than the previous one was how she let him lead her like a child.

She put her trust in him…but was it misplaced?

After all, Colton had taken on the task of looking out for her. That included everything important to her. When it came to her horse and her father, he hadn’t done so well.

Inside the house, she dropped her keys into a basket by the door. He turned her to face him, but she didn’t meet his stare. Using a knuckle beneath her chin, he drew her face upward. One look at her wan expression and the dark circles under each of her eyes revealed just how much the situation was wearing on her.

“When did you eat last?”

His question took a long time for her to answer. After a full minute, she shook herself. “I had coffee at the hospital.”

“That’s not food, love. Come on. Let me fix you something.”

She allowed him to take her by the hand and lead her to the kitchen. Though this was not his house, and he didn’t know where everything was, he felt no awkwardness at all about taking charge.

He urged her onto a stool at the counter and set about preparing her a meal.

As he ducked his head to scour the refrigerator for ideas on what to make, she said, “Are you going to eat with me?”

He threw her a glance. “I guess so.”

“I’ll only eat if you have some too.”

He spotted the deli meat and cheese in the drawer. “Sandwiches it is.”

She issued a low laugh, faint but one that warmed him by the sound. It had been only days since Meadow went silent. But he’d noticed. It worried the hell out of him. He knew too well what was happening to her—after so many tragedies, she was preparing herself for another hit.

He’d seen it among SEALs in his squadron, how they shut down, quit engaging for fear of getting close to someone who might fall in battle.

Meadow was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

With quick movements, he laid out all the sandwich fixings on the counter. Then he looked around. “Bread?”

She pointed at a basket in the corner.

After fetching it, he located two plates and began to throw together sandwiches with two kinds of meat and cheese, thinly sliced onion and tomato, and topped both with lettuce.

“Mayo or mustard?”

She lifted her gaze to his. At one look, his heart flexed with love. Dammit, he had no idea how it happened so fast. Maybe he got hooked on Meadow long before he ever came to the ranch. Hell, maybe even before Forest took that hit.

She clung to his stare, blue eyes wide and filled with ghosts but something else…something that resembled a glimmer of hope.

“Mayo please.”

She still had him under her spell, but he pulled his attention away long enough to make the addition to her sandwich and then pushed it across the counter to her.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll have a soda.”

He crossed the tiled kitchen to the fridge and grabbed two sodas. As he returned to Meadow’s side, he realized just how normal this all felt.

How right.

Together, they tucked into their humble meals. After she finished, leaving only a few crumbs on the dish, he offered her a smile. “Feel better?”

With a small tilt of her lips, she nodded.

“Now let’s get you into bed.”

The pink flush climbing her cheeks was fucking adorable. It also made him hard as hell.

For days, he’d been struggling not to claim her the way his body urged him to. To allow her the time and space to process the heavy weight of the situation she was dealing with.

Truth was, he didn’t know how much longer he could be a gentleman.

The dark tendrils of lust had been crawling through his core every time he thought about Meadow. Her beauty was only part of her allure. Her naughty side added to it, but it wasn’t all of who Meadow Gracey was either.

She was so much deeper.

She was his.

When she climbed off the stool and held out a hand to him, he saw the passion in the plump set of her lips and the tilt of her head.

Slipping his hand into hers, he walked alongside her to her bedroom.

They didn’t make it two steps inside the room before she was in his arms, her mouth on his.

A low groan rumbled up his throat, raw and unchecked. With a swipe of his tongue, he tasted her. Her natural sweetness and the soda she’d drank hit his senses, along with underlying notes of desire.

She wound her arms around his neck, and flattened her breasts against his chest, rubbed her hips against the bulge in his jeans, as she kissed and kissed him.

He had to stop. She didn’t need him in her bed—she needed rest and reprieve.

Slowly, he inched away from her and took a step back.

She advanced on him, giving him a once-over like he was a delicious steak and she, a hungry predator.

“Colton…don’t you want me?”

“Fuck, baby. More than anything.”

“Then don’t try to deny me. I need you more than ever.”

Her quiet tone, so filled with desire and the notes of pure love, edged under his skin and into his mind. It penetrated his soul.

Reaching out, he snagged her around the waist and yanked her against him again. A soft moan of desire exploded from her, and she went on tiptoes to capture his mouth.

As she nibbled his lips, he ran his hands upward from her waist to cup her breasts. The tips sharpened beneath his palms, through the layers of her top and bra.

Lifting her, he turned for the bed. He lowered her to the mattress, and his body between her legs. She wrapped her ankles around his back and rocked into his erection.

“Take me, Colton! I need you so bad.” She skidded her palms down his abs to his belt. Popping the buckle, she looked into his eyes, holding his gaze while she breached his fly.

With a groan, he dropped his lips to her throat and sucked at the tender flesh behind her ear. When she grasped his cock in her silky-soft hand, he issued a groan.

She pumped his cock once, from root to tip. The bead of precum she milked from him didn’t last long because she swiped her thumb over the tip and spread it over the throbbing head.

“Jesus Christ, baby. I need inside you.”

“Then take me. Now. Fill me with your cock!”

Two pumps and he’d be a goner. No way was he leaving her without pleasure.

He kissed her with all the force of his desire. Only when she was gasping for air did he let up—and strip her.

When she was naked in the middle of the bed, he went down between her legs and settled his tongue in her slick folds.

A sharp cry escaped her. She dug her fingers into his hair and twisted the strands as he lapped a path from bottom to top, circling her clit in a slow, lazy motion before delving his tongue in her soaking wet entrance again.

Her hips bucked in his palms. Her pussy walls gripped at his tongue. As he felt the tension in her muscles grow, he doubled his efforts. Licking her clit in slick sweeps, he plunged two fingers deep in her core.

She screamed his name and thrust upward into his lips, tongue, fingers. Her breathing hitched. Stopped.

Then she came in pounding rocks of her hips. Her pussy squeezed hard, and he trapped her clit between his lips and sucked while she shook apart for him.

A final cry blasted from her. Lifting his head, he watched bliss crisscross her beautiful features. God, he could love her like this hourly and not get tired of it…of her.

Never before had Colton dreamed of thinking about settling down with one woman, let alone spending the rest of his life with her.

But as he slowly, gently, brought Meadow down from her orgasm, he looked into the blue of her eyes and knew, beyond a stroke of doubt, that she was his for the rest of his days.