Chapter 68

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

ASHLEY

I toss a smile in Zain's direction. A smile that falters when one eyebrow arches above dark eyes.

"I'm sure you'd prefer to tell the story." His voice reminds me of a purr, low and throaty. Like that of a big cat. A lion … or a panther. Probably a panther. All dark aggression and big teeth prowling through the darkness, hunting his prey.

I shiver.

I've felt those teeth.

My eyes drop to his mouth, and my tongue licks over my bottom lip. I can still feel his mouth on mine.

The wine is messing with my head. I haven't had any sleep, and I've barely eaten all day. I'm already lightheaded. Drinking the wine was a mistake. That's the only reason I'm looking at his mouth, and imagining him kissing me again.

"Ashley?" My name on his lips startles me out of my thoughts. "Are you going to share the story, or shall I?"

"Oh, I insist you tell it." I bury my nose into my glass.

"Are you sure?"

I ignore the warning. "One hundred percent. Never been more sure of anything in my life." Even I can hear the slight slur to my words.

"Alright then."

I focus on the plate of food in front of me. It smells delicious. I'm just not sure if I could keep it down if I ate it. My nerves are on high alert. I'm aware of every move Zain makes beside me. Of every breath he takes. Of the way he has one hand draped casually across my chair. Of the way his fingers keep brushing over the back of my neck.

I feel like my skin isn't my own. I want to crawl out of it and hide. I want to make my excuses and leave. I want to pretend the scene in the bathroom didn't happen.

I want him to kiss me again.

"Well, let's see," Zain says after a moment. "We went for dinner on Sunday night, then met for breakfast on Monday." He gives a gentle tug on my braid and I nearly fall off the chair with the way I jump. "By the time we left the diner, I knew she was the one. There was no way I could let her walk away. I convinced her to take a risk and jump into the unknown with me."

The fingers on my neck stop stroking. I stop breathing.

"We went to the county clerk's office, and got a license. Then I took her back to her place, and arranged to pick her up later that evening. I surprised her that night with an intimate wedding at my house."

His hand moves, fingers tracing a path around my lips, and then he presses one against my jaw and forces me to look at him.

"And then what happened, Ashley? "

I stare at him, but don't reply.

His eyes have me trapped.

If I tell the truth, he'll deny it and I'll sound crazy. If I make something up, it'll tighten the noose around my throat, and bind me tighter to him.

"I …" I force a smile to my lips. "I don't think anyone needs to hear about what happened once we said our vows, do you?"

One corner of his mouth tips up, and his head tilts.

"You're probably right." He leans forward and brushes his lips over mine. "Some things should definitely not be shared, especially at the dinner table."

"Did you at least get a prenup?" Sondra asks, her voice sharp.

Zain's eyes don't move from mine. "No. We don't need one."

No, we don't. Because he has something better. A contract giving him authority over every aspect of my life for fourteen months. A contract that is only one day old … It already feels like a lifetime.

"I just don't understand the hurry. Even if we ignore what she did to you, you barely know each other."

"What she did to me wasn't personal."

His eyes say something entirely different. It was personal, and he's never going to allow me to forget it.

"You lost years, Zain. How can you say that isn't personal?"

"Because she thought what she was doing was right." His eyes move, dipping down to my lips and then back up. "But we've worked through it, and we are on the same page now … aren't we, Firecracker?"

I break eye contact with him and look at Sondra.

"You know, you almost sound jealous. Do you have feelings for your cousin?" I feel a moment of horror as the words fall from my lips, but I can't stop myself from saying them.

Sondra turns red, then white, and her lips pinch together. "That's disgusting. How dare you even suggest such a thing."

I shrug. "It's not unusual, especially if you were close growing up."

"I do not have feelings, beyond family concern, for Zain."

"Good." I smirk into my glass. "Because I'd hate to have to get into a fight with you over my husband. I'm not the kid you were at school with. I fight dirty these days."

Ohmygod. Shut up!

"Are you threatening me?" Sondra's voice rises an octave or two.

"No. I'm just telling you that you won't get him without a fight." I reach out and cover his hand with mine.

Fuck it. If he wants me to pretend to be the doting wife, that's what I'll do. I have nothing left to lose at this point. He wants everyone to think I'm insane? Well, I'll drag him along into insanity with me.

I link my fingers with his. "We're not the same people we were back then. If Zain can find it in his heart to forgive me for what I did when I was a child, then you're just going to have to live with that."

His fingers flex against mine, but he doesn't pull away.

"Girls, please." Heather's voice stops Sondra from responding. "Sondra, you don't have the right to ask these questions. Ashley, I'm sorry. Please don't think this was planned. No one wants to make you uncomfortable. "

I tip my glass toward Sondra. "She does."

I'm sure I hear Zain laugh quietly, but when I turn to peer at him, he's toying with the food on his plate and not looking at anyone. I untangle our fingers, and push, a little unsteadily, to my feet.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't sleep very well last night. Today has been long, and I'm really tired. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to go to bed."

I don't wait for a response and walk out of the room. I'm sure his parents and Sondra will enjoy talking about how rude I am, but I don't care. Nothing Zain will do to punish me for leaving without his agreement can make me stay.

I'm halfway up the stairs when I regret drinking as much wine as I did. The stairs are swaying … or maybe that's me, and I cling to the handrail so I don't have a repeat performance of earlier and take a nosedive down the stairs. It seems to take forever to get to the bedroom.

I find my toiletry bag and pajamas in my suitcase. Leaving the pj's on the bed, I take the bag into the bathroom, remove my makeup, brush my teeth, then go back into the bedroom to change, and climb into bed.

There's something important that I should be thinking about, I'm sure of it, but exhaustion and the wine makes it hard to focus on what it is.

And I don't care. I just want to sleep. I want to pretend for a few hours that I'm not living in a nightmare, and that I don't want my new husband to come in and kiss me again.