Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

ASHLEY

Thankfully the house was empty when Zain dropped me off almost two hours ago, because my phone hasn't stopped ringing, and there's no way I can explain to Mom why I'm not answering the calls. Karla, Jessa-Mae, and Scott have all called numerous times, but I cut it off every time it rings. At some point I'm going to have to pick up and talk to them. I want to turn off my cell, but I'm scared that if I do that I'll miss a text saying one of them is coming to town. I need to be able to stop them from doing it. I just don't know how … not without telling them what's going on.

Being alone means I have the perfect opportunity to tell them all what he's doing, and enlist their help. Zain must know that. There's a nagging whisper at the back of my head that keeps asking why he isn't more concerned about it.

Why isn't he worried about me telling my friends what's happening while he's not here to stop me?

And that leads me to another question.

What exactly does he have against my mom?

That's the one thing stopping me from calling his bluff.

What does he know that makes him so confident that my mom will be arrested if I don't go along with his plans? Because he knows something .

Scott's ringtone shatters the silence and I stare at his name on the screen.

He's not going to give up. He's going to continue calling until you answer. You might as well get it over with. At least this way, Zain isn't breathing down your neck while you talk to him.

I connect the call.

"Finally! I've been worried sick." The concern in his voice adds emphasis to his words.

"I'm sorry. You didn't need to call."

"Of course I did. You left me a crazy voice message. What's going on? Talk to me."

"Nothing. After you called yesterday, it made me realize that we … we want different things. That … that you see our relationship as something more than I did. It's not fair to you. I've been leading you on, giving you hope that there was more to things than there is. So … so, it's better if we go our separate ways."

"I don't believe you. You're just panicking because I said I want to marry you."

"You're right. I did panic, but then I thought about it and I realized that it's not what I want." The more I speak, the easier it gets. Because what I'm telling him is the truth. It's simply a truth I hadn't wanted to acknowledge before now. I hate that the situation I've put myself in is the thing that has made me see it. "You deserve someone better than me. Someone who puts you first. "

"Ashley—"

"I'm sorry. I'm not the person you want me to be. I'm sorry I led you on. I'm sorry I don't feel the same way that you do. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to admit it. I haven't been fair. I've been selfish. I know that now. Please don't call me again. Have a good life, Scott." I end the call, navigate into contacts and block his number.

I should be upset. I should be raging over what Zain has forced me to do, and maybe, in a day or two when it all sinks in, that's how I will feel. But right now? Right now, I feel strangely relieved.

My cell bursts into life again. This time it's Jessa-Mae. I take a deep breath and answer it.

"Hi, Jessa."

"Don't hi Jessa me. What the fuck is going on, Ashley?"

"Nothing."

"Then why did our landlord call and ask if we had anyone lined up to take your room once you've moved out?"

My stomach flips. I didn't think the landlord would say anything. Not yet, anyway. I should have known better.

"You better be about to explain to me what the fuck you're playing at and not just opting to give me the silent treatment in the hopes I let it go." Jessa's voice is hard.

"No. Look, Jessa. Things are weird right now. I have to stay here and I don't know how long that's going to be for." Yes, you do. Fourteen months. He's already told you that. " It makes no sense for me to keep paying rent for a place I won't be living in for the next year, at least. "

" Year ? What the hell? Is your mom sick? Is that why you're staying there?"

"No, she's fine."

"Then why? And what about your job?"

"I …" I lick my lips, then try and swallow past the dryness in my throat, before replying. "I quit my job this morning."

" What? "

"Please don't worry. Everything is fine."

"Are you having some kind of early mid-life crisis?"

"Of course not."

"Then please make it make sense."

"I … I've met someone, and I want to explore where it might lead."

"You've been home for two days . How the hell have you met someone? What about Scott?"

"I broke things off with Scott this morning. It wasn't all that serious with him."

"You've been together for three years, and he was going to ask you to marry him. How is that not serious?"

Her words surprise me, but I squash the shock down. "How do you know that?"

"He came to the house while you were working last week and asked me and Karla for advice."

"You knew? You knew and didn't say anything to me?"

"We thought you'd be happy."

"I'm not in love with him. I've never claimed to be in love with him. "

"Three years, Ashley. You don't stick in a relationship for that long if you don't have feelings."

She's right … that would be the case for most people. Apparently, I'm not most people.

"Maybe I just didn't realize it until he brought up the idea of getting married. But I don't love him, Jessa. And I don't want to marry him."

"Is that the real reason you're hiding out back in your hometown?"

It would be the perfect excuse, but I want to keep the lies to a minimum. "No. No, I really have met someone."

"Who? And what does he think?"

"He … he wants to explore where things might go between us as well. We had dinner last night, and breakfast this morning. He's picking me up again in a couple of hours and we're spending the evening together."

"How did you meet him?"

"He was at the cemetery when I went to visit Jason, and we struck up a conversation. He'd … he'd lost someone close to him as well."

"And what's the name of this mystery man who's scrambled your brains?"

"No one you know." That isn't a lie. She's never met Zain, just heard about him on the news. "I'm not ready to talk about him yet."

"I don't like this. You're acting so out of character."

"I promise, I'm fine."

"Maybe we should come and visit. "

"No!" I almost yell the word. "No," I repeat. "I'll come and visit in a couple of weeks. I … I'll bring him with me to meet you."

"You swear?"

"Yes." Hopefully, Zain will understand why I have to do it. It'll be necessary to fit in with the story he's trying to present. Surely, he'll agree to meeting my friends.