Chapter Forty

Lyrical

W e went scuba diving, went on a safari (it was a disaster), and hung out with an older couple who has been married for some time. It feels… normal between us, and the life back home at North Haven seems miles away.

I wrap the towel around my head as I plop on the bed after coming out of the shower, going through my IG. Every other post is about us eloping, so I tap out of the app and place my phone on the dresser.

Snow's phone vibrates, and I pick it up from the nightstand. I swipe and it asks for a passcode. Is it still my birthday? When I type my birthday, the wallpaper is a picture of me sleeping. I smile.

A message from Jameson pops up, and I debate whether I should click on the icon. I don't want him to think I'm snooping through his phone, but I'm curious about who's after me now. My gaze scans Jameson's message.

Jameson: The plan didn't work.

What plan? I scan above and see messages of him and Keanu and Irvin congratulating him on our wedding. Keanu makes jokes about cutting someone's tongue off and forcing them to eat it. Doesn't surprise me, he seems like the type to make jokes about his victims. Their chat group is boring. Irvin asks about parties, Keanu makes jokes about killing people, and Jameson sends memes. I click out of it and type in Savannah's name and their messages pop up. It's mainly her talking to herself because Snow never responds back.

A message from his father displays on the screen, demanding him to answer his phone calls, and I scroll further and see his father congratulating us using knife and death emojis, then Snow sent him back a devil emoji and a middle finger. The rest is mainly messages of his father demanding him to do something and Snow responding with "Okay." The phone vibrates with his father's name across the screen, and I hit the green button. Revi screams in my ear.

"You married Lyrical out of spite to get revenge on me! I told you to kill the bitch. You were supposed to marry Savannah! You completely went against my wishes and did the oppo—"

I tap the End button before tossing the phone on the bed. The walls around me are caving in, and my heart beats a thousand times a minute. Snow was supposed to kill me? Is that why he married me, to spite Revi? I thought his father was going to hurt him for marrying me, but it turns out he was supposed to kill me. Why does he want me dead? That is why Savannah wanted me dead—she was supposed to replace me in the arranged marriage. Her words come crashing down on me… Dig up a grave because you will need one . She was referring to Revi's plan to kill me.

The blood in my face drains, and I feel lightheaded and dizzy. Bile tickles the back of my throat, and I grab the trash can by the bed, emptying out my stomach.

Snow walks into the bedroom, wearing a T-shirt and denim shorts.

"Lyrical? Are you okay?" He gently holds my hair as I continue to vomit.

When I sit up, Snow disappears into the bathroom, then he comes back with a white washcloth to wipe my mouth.

The pain I feel in my chest burns like lava and I don't know what to say and do. For the first time in my life, I feel completely broken that I truly married my enemy. He kisses me on the forehead, but I flinch and slap him hard across the chest as tears stream down my cheeks.

I trusted him.

I trusted him with my heart.

I trusted him with my body.

I've never felt so betrayed in all my life.

How long was he going to keep this secret from me?

He grabs my arms and holds them to my sides, but I can't stop the gigantic hole in my chest from getting bigger and I feel like I can't breathe.

"What's wrong, Blue?" I hear the panic in his voice.

"How long?" I say, trying to gather my thoughts. "How long, you motherfucker?!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"How long, what? Blue? What the fuck are you talking about?"

I swallow hard, and my head hurts. "How long were you going to wait to tell me that your father wanted to kill me? When were you going to tell me that Savannah was supposed to marry you and be my replacement?"

Snow lets me go, guilt flashing in his eyes. He hangs his head.

Fuck Snow!

I fell for the lies, thinking that he loved me. That he actually gave a fuck about me. I slap him again.

"I thought your father was mad at you because you moved the date up for our wedding, but it turned out that he was pissed off because you married me."

"So what if he is fucking pissed? I'm handling him," he snaps, folding his arms across his chest. "How the fuck did you find out?"

"Don't worry about it!" I yank the ends of my hair. "When were you supposed to marry Savannah instead of me?"

"After I couldn't prove that you were drugged, he wanted me to kill you. I told him no and he told me that if I don't kill you, he'll kill us both."

"In the beginning of the semester, did you have plans to kill me?"

"No. I wanted to, but I fell in love with you—again. I never stopped loving you, Lyrical."

"Bullshit! You were in a pissing game with your father, and I was just a pawn to you."

Defeat fills his pupils, and I realize I will always be second to him in his revenge. If it's on me or his father or the next person. He doesn't care if it affects me. And I'm so sick of being second to him.

He grips my chin. "I married you to protect you. He can't touch you now because—"

"Your last name carries so much power," I finish.

I can't stand the sight of him. His father can't hurt me because I'm protected by Snow's last name. Completely protected. It doesn't stop the betrayal. It doesn't stop the fact that he would have never told me and he always leaves me out of the loop.

"It doesn't matter. All of this was a lie. Our marriage. You said that you loved me. But you chose your revenge over me."

"No, I didn't."

"No? Why didn't you tell me the real reason why you married me?"

"I married you because I love you and needed to prot—"

"I don't need your damn protection. I need your honesty, I need you not to keep shit from me, Snow."

"You would have gone to Clemon, and he would have started a fight between our families. I didn't want a bloodbath."

"Yes, my father would have, as he should."

"That would have ruined the business image."

"Fuck you and the American Billionaire Club! All you men worry about is your goddamn empire. It doesn't matter if you hurt the ones you love. It doesn't matter how far you guys hurt someone as long it serves you. Unless it protects your precious empire."

He's never going to change, I realize. Snow has always been this way, and I put up with it for so long because I love him. The secrets, the lies… and I'm tired. I'm tired of looking the other way when he does something that I don't approve of. And I gave him too much power over me, letting him control everything I do. He will always keep me in the dark about the important things, and instead of telling me and treating me like I'm his equal, he acts like he's my dictator.

Snow cups my face, rubbing his index finger along my bottom lip. "I was going to get revenge on my father and find a way to kill him."

"You always leave me out, and you never include me in anything that you're plotting. We're supposed to be a team, but we're not. You chose revenge over me. Whether it's on me or on your father. You chose that. I'm always second to you as long as you're seeking blood. You're never going to change."

Admitting it out loud hurts even more and makes me burst out in more tears. I wipe them with the back of my hand.

For the second time, my heart is breaking. The first time was when he walked away from me in the hospital after I told him I was set up, and now this. But at least I have control over this heartache. At least I'm standing up to him and saying no.

I remove my wedding and engagement rings and toss them at Snow. He grabs them, staring at the rings.

"I'm going home, and I want a divorce, Revi."

Rage colors his face.

"You're not going anywhere and if you ever mention divorce again, we're going to have a fucking problem." He blocks the entrance of the door. "You're never going to leave me, and I'll never let you go, Lyrical. I'll tie you to the headboard, keep you here until you come to your senses. We're just fighting. Couples fight all the time."

He doesn't get it. He doesn't realize how badly he has hurt me.

I shake my head, my pulse accelerating under my skin as I throw on a white T-shirt and a pair of jogging pants. "You don't understand how bad your actions hurt me. I'm not going to be second to anything. You already made your choice on which is more important. Your revenge. You need to let me go, or I'm going to hate you. If you keep me here, I'm going to hate you, Snow."

He doesn't move, keeping his eyes on mine. He's daring me to move past him.

"You're my wife and we're going to work it out. I do understand, but you're going overboard with your reaction. You can hate me now, but we both know it won't last long."

"Wow! Way to minimize my feelings."

"I'm not trying to minimize your feelings, Blue. I love you. I'm not trying to hurt you intentionally."

I know he's not trying to hurt me intentionally and I know he loves me, which makes walking away from him ten times harder.

"There isn't anything to work out."

"My father wants us to break up, and if you leave me, he'll win. I'm not letting him win."

I laugh humorlessly. "You don't get it, do you? You care more about winning and beating your dad than you do about me."

I toss my belongings into my suitcase, zipping it up and yanking it behind me.

"If I don't come second to your revenge on your dad, then stop trying to get revenge on him. I'll tell my father, and he can help you—us. My father can protect us. He has the same connections as Revi. Do it for me."

"You're not giving me a fucking ultimatum, Lyrics. This is between me and my dad. I'm not involving your father in my family bullshit. Not when it's something I can fix myself."

"Prove to me that I'm not second to your revenge. Me or revenge on your father."

"You're being fucking unreasonable!"

"You're being an asshole! You're too consumed by your rage against your father," I snap. "I want off this island and away from you. I don't want to be around you anymore. I don't want to stay married to you! I want a fucking divorce, and I mean it!!"

"I'm not going to change, so you have no choice but to deal with it."

"You've just made my decision so easy," I lie. "I'll see you in court."

"If you have someone serve me divorce papers, I'll cut their hands off and send them to you. Don't fucking test me, Lyrical."

"Until you learn that I come first, then it's over between us. Please, let me go. Give me this one last thing, and let me go!"

He searches my eyes to see if I'm bluffing, and he frowns. I've never seen his face fill with such sorrow, but I have to do what I have to do for myself. He steps aside, and I open the door.

Then I leave, not bothering to look back.