Chapter Twenty-Eight

Lyrical

S ince Snow won't let me do things without him when it comes to solving Bailey's death, I guess I'll have to sneak behind his back and look for the answers myself. We're supposed to be a team and work on finding out who Bailey's boyfriend is together, but he's not being a team member.

So, I had Winter keep my phone with her and if Snow texts me, she'll text him back on my behalf. I'm not going to wait around on him.

I understand he's trying to protect me from harm, but I can take care of myself. I don't need him to control every aspect of my life. Just in the bedroom.

I met a girl online who worked at the strip club with Bailey, and I told her to meet me on neutral grounds at a park, because I don't want to meet her on mafia turf, let alone go to a strip club without Snow being present. They are not so kind to outsiders and people asking questions. It'll put a target on my back.

I sit on a bench, watching people walk along the trails. It's mid-October and the leaves on the oak trees are bright autumn colors.

I zip up my leather jacket as the cool breeze nips at my cheeks. A woman wearing a trench coat and fishnet stockings, carrying a backpack, waltzes up to me and holds out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Rachel."

She's gorgeous with her pastel blue hair reaching her shoulders, with two rings in each side of her nose. I slip my palm into hers and shake her hand.

"I'm Lyrical."

Nodding, she lets go of my palm and sits beside me. Her expensive perfume invades my nostrils. She smells sweet like a daisy.

"So… you knew Bailey?"

She nods, crosses her legs over the other, and stuffs her hands into her coat pockets. Her deep brown pupils radiate so much pain.

"She worked at the strip club with me. She was saving up money to leave her lifestyle, to leave her abusive boyfriend."

The fact that Bailey felt like she needed to run away leaves a gigantic hole in my chest. Why didn't she go to her parents or Snow and tell them about the situation she was in? I'm sure they would have murdered him. Maybe she was trying to protect him. I've researched abusive relationships and I read that the victims would go to great lengths to protect their abusers.

Rachel looks me up and down, and a weak smile spreads across her face. "You must have been her best friend and roommate?"

"Yes."

I watch a teenager on rollerblades glide past us. The sky is turning an inky blue, and the sound of the wind fills the silence between us for a brief moment.

"She spoke about you a lot, told me you were getting engaged to her brother."

I don't respond, and she sighs.

"She never wanted to disappoint you or her brother."

Tears well in my eyes. "She was never a disappointment to us. We just wanted what was best for her."

She pats my back. "I was helping her with an escape plan. I was in an abusive relationship, too, with an underboss. He used to be in the mafia as well as her ex-boyfriend."

"Did you get his name?"

"No, but I do know he went to North Haven University. She said he was popular on campus and they couldn't be seen in public because of her arranged marriage to a rich guy. A few weeks before her death, he found her at a bus station leaving. She said she wanted to keep her baby, but he was forcing her to get an abortion. He promised her that if she went through with it, he would treat her good. The beating got worse after she aborted her child."

Bailey suffered so much, and I wasn't there to help her, to protect her. She suffered in silence, wanting an escape from her new life. I imagine her being scared and alone, and the ache in my chest builds.

She removes her backpack and hands me a bunch of Bailey's stuff. Tears gather in her eyes, matching mine. "I feel bad. I feel like I could have done more. I… He used to force her to have sex with other men. She used to tell me how he would invite her to parties with rich men from the Billionaire Club and they would run a train on her."

I feel like I'm suffocating from her words. I suspect he was pimping her out since she was involved with someone who has no morals.

We both hug each other as tears leak down our faces, and my head hurts so much from crying. I feel worn out. I pull away from her and use the back of my thumbs to wipe under my eyes. I feel my mascara clumping around my eyelids, and I'm sure my face looks like a racoon.

"It was nice meeting you, Lyrical, but I have to go to work." I walk her to her car, where we say our goodbyes.

Once I'm in my own car, I search through the bag that Rachel gave me and I find stripper clothing, pictures of me and Bailey and Snow at a house party—and an ultrasound of a baby, I think. My tears wet the picture. There's also a key, and a sketch of a house with an address scribbled at the bottom. I toss the bag in my back seat.

I can't keep the tears at bay, no matter what I do.

With the bag slung over my shoulders, I walk into the living room to find Snow standing by the window.

Anger colors his faces and his arms are folded across his bare chest. He stalks up to me, yanks me by the arm, and assesses me from head to toe.

"You met a woman at a park? Why?"

How the hell does he know where I was when I left my phone with Winter?

Peeling his fingers from my arm, I head to the kitchen, open the fridge, grab the jug of lemonade, and pour it into a crystal glass. "I left my phone with Winter, because I knew you were tracking me. Wait. How did you know I met some girl? I used Lilac's phone to text her."

He stands directly in front of me, blocking me from leaving the kitchen. "Don't worry about it. Just know I have eyes and ears everywhere."

Slowly, I swallow big gulps of the sweet beverage. "Stalking is a crime, Snow. I don't mind you doing it, but I need my privacy."

"It's not a crime if I don't get caught."

"Spoken like a true criminal," I mock.

There isn't any point in arguing with him, he's going to do what he wants—he's been like this since we were teenagers.

"She knew Bailey. She confirmed what we already knew. There is an address Bailey had written down on a sketch and a key she gave me. I think it's to her ex's house. I'm going there."

"No, you're not. I'll do everything to protect you, Blue. Even if it means I lock you in this house."

I shake my head. "You and your controlling ways, I swear. First, you popped up at my dinner with Professor Carter, and now you're mad because I'm sneaking behind your back. You promised, Revi, but you're just projecting your fears on losing me."

He cups my face, rubbing his fingers along my bottom lip. "What would have happened if the girl you met robbed you? What about if someone kidnapped you? The park you went to is sketchy. You're a small woman with little protection, and I'm not supposed to worry about you?"

I shrug. "I don't know, but it didn't happen. I can't live my life on what-ifs, Snow. You can't protect me from everything."

"I will and I can. You can't stop me."

We used to fight about this all the time, and though I love that he wants to protect me, he has to trust me enough that I can take care of myself.

This conversation isn't going anywhere, so I kick off my shoes, set them by the couch, then I yank the hair tie and my locks fall over my shoulders like a waterfall as I comb my fingers through my hair.

He follows me up the stairs, as I stroll to the bathroom, and he turns the golden faucet to the tub, sighing. I remove my clothes and toss them on the floor. He watches me with his hands folded across his chest.

Tears wet my eyes and I quickly wipe them away.

"What is it?"

"Bailey…" I want to cut myself again. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I want to release my blood that's in my body because it makes me feel like I'm releasing my sins, my guilt. Keeping my eyes on the makeup bag with my razors, I quickly shake my head. If Snow found out I bought new razors and started hurting myself again, he'd be pissed. He told me he would cut himself if he found out I started again, and I don't want him to hurt himself because of me. It's an addiction that I can't shake. I need to feel the pain. The hurt. "Rachel told me she had a plan to leave, that she was in a relationship with someone from North Haven University." I can't fight the sob that wants to burst free. "You remember when Bailey said she was going to London with Tim for a few weeks?"

He nods, sitting on the edge of the tub.

"I suspect she was getting beat up so much that she couldn't show her face. She really was pregnant. She was leaving him because she wanted a better life for their child, and he found her and beat her up."

Snow doesn't respond but has a murderous look on his face, the one he makes when he wants to kill someone.

"I should have seen the signs. Why didn't I see the signs? Why didn't she tell me she needed a way out? I would have gotten her out of here, I would have given all of my trust fund money to her. I would have saved her."

Snow's quiet, staring at me.

"We both failed her." His tone is low. "Bailey always went to great lengths to protect the people she loved, and she loved him. That's why she never told us. She knew I would have killed him. When I find him, I'm going to do what I have to do to him. His death is going to be a slow one."

Snow removes his pajama pants and boxers and slides into the tub, causing the water to overflow to the tiles.

I need a distraction from this pain. The hole in my chest has grown to the size of the Atlantic Ocean. I fight the urge to not harm myself.

"Use me as your fuck toy."

He strokes my cheeks, kisses me roughly, then he grabs my neck, squeezing hard and coming close to cutting off my airway. He knows I want to be dominated by him, for him to have full control over my body. He lets go of me, yanks me by the arm and out of the tub, and carries me over his shoulders before tossing me on the bed. Snow grabs some zip ties and duct tape from the drawer and restrains my arms and legs. He presses the tape against my mouth. When he flips me over onto my front, he bends my knees into the soft mattress, positioning my ass in the air. I feel the head of his dick nudging the entrance of my pussy, and I groan. Snow has been my addiction, and I love when he uses me like he wants, giving in to my fantasies.

He slides inside of me, hitting a wall, then he slides out, yanking my hair so hard my scalp stings, fucking me until tears flow down my cheeks.