Chapter Fifteen

Lyrical

F or the last two weeks, Snow made sure to drive me to and from campus. In the evenings, he'll force me to do my homework and eat dinner with him, then he'll proceed to fuck me. We'll talk like we used to when we were friends and I try so hard to keep my distance, but it's hard. He makes me horny beyond mental reasoning and punishes me if I "don't act right."

Snow has complete control over my life and most days, I don't like it. I see him in a new light now. When I stayed home on the days I didn't have class, I tore the fucking house up looking for the sketchbook he stole from me. I even checked his safe, and it wasn't there. He opened up to me about the murderous side of him and how many people he's killed. Apparently, the guy at the party wasn't the only person he killed who tried to harm me. A guy from my freshman year had groped me and tried to force himself on me, and Snow slit his throat, then Keanu got rid of the body. I should feel grossed out that he's a murderer, but I'm not. No one is perfect. In fact, I feel honored he would go to such lengths to protect me.

I tuck my legs under my butt on the couch, look out the floor-to-ceiling window, noting our farmhouse is on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The sky is inky black, and the leafy trees sway while raindrops leave streaks against the glass ceiling. Snow really made this farmhouse the way I wanted it. He doesn't realize he's giving me a slice of heaven on earth.

My eyes go back to my college algebra book, and I stare at it. I tried to bribe the professor into letting me receive extra time on quizzes and tests, but he told me I have to take it up with the disability department, but he's one of the directors. Some teachers on campus resent us rich people because we have so much power, and I suspect he's one of them.

I close the book and set it on my lap.

Snow walks into the room. He's been up all night, trying to piece together who drugged Bailey, and I'm glad we're not at each other's throats right now because I don't think I can take his wrath any longer.

He eyes the college algebra book and I quickly tuck it under a decorative pillow, but he walks over to the pillow and yanks the offending book out. I try to snatch the book from him, but he holds it over his head.

"I thought you already passed college algebra."

No one knows about my inability to solve math problems, and right now I feel stupid as fuck. This is my fourth time repeating the course—I need this class to pass in order to graduate. It's been one of my dreams—I would be the very first woman in my family to have a college degree.

"I did take it, but I failed it," I finally admit.

He sits next to me. "Since when did you have a problem with doing math?"

I feel even more embarrassed at his words. I know he didn't mean to make feel embarrassed, I'm sure he didn't. I rub my nose, glancing at the marble floors.

Lightning splits the sky in half and the sound of the thunder makes me flinch.

"Since I was a little kid. I can't do simple math. I can barely do three-digit addition and subtraction."

"Why didn't you let me know, Lyrical? How were you able to pass your math classes in high school?"

I hope I don't regret telling him this.

I swallow thickly. "My parents. They made fat donations to the private school so they can pass me."

I eye his tattoo on his chest, the one I drew for him. A skull with a snake slithering around it.

"How it's going to help you if your parents paid teachers to pass you?"

I hate that he has a point.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I suffer from dyscalculia. I know I'm stupid, so let's drop the subject."

He lifts my chin so I meet his gaze. "Who said you were stupid?"

"No one… But you must think I am because I can't move past third-grade math."

"I'll talk to the professors about giving you extra time to do your schoolwork, and I'll make you a study guide. I won in the math league and I've always been at the t—"

"No, I don't need your help. Why are you helping me? Are you afraid you are going to be married to a dumb woman?"

"First of all, you don't tell me what to do. I'm going to help you because I want to. And second, don't ever refer to yourself as dumb or stupid. You're one of the smartest people I know."

His words make my chest warm and my cheeks flame.

He flips through the book to a section I bookmarked, crinkling his nose. "Hmmm," is all he says, then he grabs my notebook from my backpack and begins to write out the problem step by step.

I close my eyes and open them, not knowing what to say to him. Normally, when we used to hang out, I used to be able to talk his ear off, but all the tension between us is too much for me to form words.

"I miss this," he says out of the blue.

I tilt my head to the side. "Miss what?"

"Us. When we used to hang out. When you spent the night at my place and we would watch a good movie, how you would draw and sketch. Remember the time when we went swimming in the ocean for your birthday?"

"I do," I answer.

My cheeks flush thinking about that night. His dick was hard, and I couldn't help but think about how it would feel inside of me. We stayed on the shore all night talking until eventually, we fell asleep and our parents got worried sick because they couldn't find us.

I miss my ex-best friend more than he knows, but I won't admit it to him. "You always looked out for me, Snow. Even when I was being crazy and annoying. Even though we're not friends anymore, I want to say thank you."

He doesn't say anything else as he continues to write out math problems, but I see a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. "Put on Coraline ."

"It always been my favorite."

I grab the remote from the table, turn on Netflix, and find the movie. We sit in silence, but I can feel the tension building between us despite the silence. As the movie plays, I wrap a blanket around my body. Mindlessly, he snatches a pillow from the couch and places it on the floor between his legs.

"Sit here."

Without a word, I sit between his legs, dragging the blanket with me.

For a moment, it feels like I have my best friend back. For a moment, I remember he was my first love and will always be my first love. I wouldn't dare tell him that, because some secrets are meant to be taken to the grave.