Chapter Sixteen

Harley: I’m sorry.

Harley: I miss you.

Harley: You’re my best friend.

Harley: I never slept with Nardo.

Harley: Help!

Harley: I got into another fight.

Harley: Call me.

CJ breathed easier now that Jo’s eye surgery was successfully completed and she was on the road to recovery. His little sister still had weeks to go in the hospital, but she grew stronger daily. She wouldn’t end up blind, though she would probably need glasses for the rest of her life.

He couldn’t wait for her to be home. He’d officially hit her with his nickname—Squiggles. She was a Caldwell, though. A fighter. He wouldn’t jinx her recovery if he began referring to her as Squiggles rather than Jo.

Mom’s face remained bruised from Uncle Johnnie’s slap and her sadness hadn’t improved since Squiggles’ surgery two days ago. CJ wondered what was going on, especially since she’d grown a little distant from him, Dad, Diesel, and her other sons, catapulting CJ into the days after the Torie debacle.

Dad followed Mom’s lead. They’d spent the night at the hospital after Squiggles’ surgery, then came home yesterday. Within hours, Dad returned to the hospital while Mom went to their bedroom.

When CJ saw Dad this morning at breakfast, he’d told him he would cancel tonight’s dinner plans with Jaleena. Dad insisted he go, declaring CJ needed a break from the stress and turmoil of the last few days.

CJ decided to keep his date. He really wanted to clear the air between him and Jaleena. Besides, moping at home wouldn’t solve whatever problems his parents were facing. After helping Bunny clear the breakfast dishes, CJ helped Dad prepare a breakfast tray for Mom, then he went to his own room, where he realized he hadn’t asked her to borrow her SUV. He’d fired off a quick text. Her one-word response of fine hadn’t appeased him. However, he’d counted his blessings.

Hours later, he’d come downstairs to head to the little key cabinet in the closet along the east hallway that stored extra chairs and the mechanism to lower and lift the various chandeliers in the house. Instead, Mom and Dad were waiting for him. She’d handed CJ the keys to her Corvette, hugged him tightly and told him to have fun.

Ready to argue, Dad looked as shocked as CJ felt. Mom’s lifted brow made Dad snap his mouth shut. She turned on her heel and stomped away.

In silence, CJ watched his mother stalked through the archway that led to the central hallway and the bifurcated staircase, where she ran up and soon disappeared from his line of vision. At his father’s stricken look, CJ almost canceled his date again.

“You been carryin’ enough on your shoulders, boy,” Dad had reiterated. “Have fun. Just don’t fuck up your Ma car.”

CJ had left it at that. Besides wanting to salvage his friendship with Jaleena, he needed a break. It had been eight full weeks since he’d almost lost his mother and his little sister, and he felt as if he’d aged far beyond his sixteen and a half years. So much turmoil and emotional upheaval with no end in sight, judging by his mother’s behavior.

He experienced an irrevocable change in a fundamental part of himself. Before, he’d never dream of disrespecting an adult, especially one of his aunts or uncles. Now, he wanted to fuck up Johnnie so badly, he could almost see that motherfucker’s lifeless body at his feet.

A few months ago, he had Harley, though she’d turned on him weeks before his mother’s collapse. His world hadn’t righted itself since.

Now, Harley bombarded him with hourly texts and phone calls several times a day, as if she hadn’t completely crushed him. He couldn’t think straight under her barrage of pressure. A part of him would always see her as his Harley, but she had more bullshit than a motherfucking pasture full of bulls.

Whatever stupid reason she’d fought didn’t matter to him. Her last fight with Ariana and Erin ended with Harley in the ER. CJ pushed aside their differences and visited her. What had she done? Insulted and berated him.

No fucking thank you. She could fight her own fucking battles.

Then there was Molly. Her disappearance overwhelmed CJ with fear and worry. Since her father took her, CJ had more than one reason to fear his phone ringing. Any day, he expected to receive news that her body had been found.

Or parts of it.

The thought nauseated him, and he shivered.

“I know what I want.”

Jaleena’s voice broke into his thoughts.

He hadn’t even picked up his menu. Once they were shown to the table he’d reserved at J’s, he became lost in thought.

So much for clearing the air between them.

She threw her menu aside and sipped her water, elegant and as self-possessed as ever. She’d artfully made up her face and her dark skin glowed. If CJ didn’t miss his mark, she’d used some type of body glitter.

“What have you decided upon?” she pressed, setting her glass aside.

He shrugged. “I haven’t looked at my menu yet.”

“Do it then,” she ordered. “I’m hungry.”

He was, too. But he didn’t know the protocol for having a serious conversation with a girl over dinner. If they talked beforehand and it didn’t go as planned, that would ruin the meal. He might decide not to broach the subject and postpone an important topic, if he enjoyed the meal.

What if dinner was awkward? They might just want to leave.

“Pick out your food, CJ,” Jaleena snapped, raising his hackles.

He scowled. “I’m not ready to fucking look at the fucking menu, Jaleena,” he growled.

She gasped, then poked out her lower lip.

Sighing, CJ scrubbed a hand over his face. Fuck, girls were trouble. He didn’t know what the fuck they wanted from him.

“Apologize to me or take me home.”

CJ gritted his teeth. “Only if you apologize to me. I’m not a fucking yes-boy to order the fuck around.”

“Spoken like a true white—”

He glared at her.

“Rich boy,” she amended with a sniff.

“You obviously don’t think highly of me. Why the fuck did you accept my invitation?”

“That isn’t true! You’re amazing. My parents might not think so, but I do.” She met his gaze, her look earnest. “I-I just feel inferior,” she mumbled, swallowing.

CJ frowned at her, hoping he misunderstood what she was implying. He was new to the world of girls as romantic interests, but he had a mom, a sister—sisters—aunts and cousins. He’d spent most of his life in Harley’s company.

Girls were the most beautiful creation on earth. They kept the world going. Even powerful men had made fucked up decisions to impress a girl. Men competed for girls with brawn and money. Girls, though…girls plotted the downfall of their competitors. Girls were outwardly brutal towards their ops. They also looked at themselves so harshly, picking out what they perceived as their own shortcomings. CJ had seen it play out with the biker girls for years, bad ass, beautiful chicks who lost themselves trying to win a dude.

Personally, he’d watched it wreck Harley, destroy their relationship because she felt the need to compete against Molly and Jaleena. When, at the time, there’d never been a competition in CJ’s mind. It had been Harley.

“Say something,” Jaleena whispered, the vulnerability on her face touching CJ. “I want you to like me. I want us to kiss and make love. I want to be your girlfriend.”

Over the years, he’d learned a lot from his parents, either by word or deed. One of the best lessons he’d received was how his mother accepted his father because she saw the man underneath the killer. She saw a husband and a father, not a biker. That’s what CJ wanted. Out of the three of them—Harley, Jaleena, and Molly—he felt as if only Molly saw him for him. Though that might not be real either, since she’d been so drugged and damaged.

“Didn’t you invite me to dinner so we could reconcile?”

She sounded so hopeful.

Clenching his jaw, CJ glanced away. His stomach growled. He seized on the excuse. “After dinner we can talk about us, bae. Let’s enjoy our night out.”

She beamed at him.

CJ grabbed his menu and glanced at it, zeroing in on the most expensive item—dry aged beef with a sherry demi-glace. “You chose the beef with the fingerling potatoes on a bed of greens,” he guessed.

The picture of innocence, Jaleena nodded, tugging on one of her earlobes and calling his attention to the expensive earrings he’d gifted her with at Christmas. “How’d you know?”

Annoyance flared in him. “I’ve gone from your charity case to a fucking cash cow.” Exactly what he’d thought when he gave her the earrings and part of the reason he’d decided against pursuing her. “It was easy to guess your dinner selection.”

A scowl marred her pretty face. “I’m not a gold digger. I have standards. I’m used to getting the best money can buy.”

“The best your money can buy, which can’t touch what the fuck mine can.”

She stiffened.

Fuck. “That came out wrong.”

“I never took you for a braggart.”

“I’m not and I’m sorry, but I just feel as if you’re crucifying me for things out of my control. What I have. How I look.”

“What you have and how you look speaks loud and clear every time I think of Harley and Molly. They are gorgeous and don’t look like me at all.”

So, he’d heard what she hadn’t said a few minutes ago correctly.

“You’re not just down with the swirl.”

“What does that mean?”

Folding her arms, she narrowed her eyes. “Are you serious?” she asked with venom.

“Yeah, fuck, completely. I’ve never fucking heard that fucking expression.”

“Stop cussing at me.”

“Stop fucking pissing me off. Answer the fucking question, Jaleena.”

“You like Harley, so you should know.”

CJ drew in a sharp breath. “Does it have anything to do with her being black?”

“Ding-ding-ding. I resent you playing me for a fool.”

“I resent you acting like one.”

Another gasp from her. Their fucking date was going splendidly. Splendidly fucked-up.

“Jaleena, I don’t give a fuck about a swirl or the swirl or whatever the fuck it is.”

“That’s the fucking problem. I’d have to compete against all the girls you come into contact with if you chose me. Especially if you chose me. That would just show me you really don’t have a type.”

“What?”

“You heard me!”

“I can’t fucking win with you. If I choose you, you’ll be paranoid. If I don’t choose you, you’ll be paranoid for a different fucking reason.”

“That isn’t true. If you don’t choose me, I’d just know I had you pegged right all along.”

He wouldn’t take her fucking bait. She could think whatever the fuck she wanted to about him. He knew her belief was wrong. “Act better and I might want you. Personality, loyalty and friendship are what I want in a girl. I don’t give a fuck about anything else.”

“Liar. There’s Large Leta who’s in love with you. That wench is three hundred pounds as dark as night and throws puppy dog eyes at you every time you breeze by.”

“I don’t even know who the fuck you’re talking about.” Fuck, that was her point.

“Exactly what I mean!”

“Until recently, I saw no one other than Harley,” he gritted. “I had to look out for my little brothers, my sister, my fucking cousins—”

“You noticed Molly and me.”

“You’re on the fucking cheer squad and you helped me with Lumbly. Molly is my cousin’s girlfriend.” He blew out a painful breath. “Was my cousin’s girlfriend.”

“Well, Large Leta sits alone every day at lunch.”

“That’s a fucked up name for that girl.”

“Oh, shut up. Ryan and the Byrds call her Lightless Leta.”

“Because Ryan is a fucking asshole. It’s fucking insane that you’re shading another girl simply because I don’t want you as my girlfriend.”

“It is not! There’s a pecking order. I have requirements for the girls who hang around me. Fat Freda is even worse with her oily blonde hair and white skin with all those gross oozy pimples. She’s even heavier than Leta. Yuck.” She shivered dramatically. “Then there’s Hefty Harriet.”

CJ rolled his eyes. “Would you fucking stop?”

“Why? They’re all in love with you. Fat, gross girls you don’t give the time of day. But I hate Large Lightless Leta the most because you nodded at her on our first day in tenth grade. You were nice to her, and she fell in love with you.”

This was nonsense. “I don’t know any of those fucking girls. And are you really co-signing what those two pig motherfuckers call someone when Willard called you a man bitch? How fucking fair is that?”

“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about you and how hypocritical you are pretending you don’t have a type.”

“I’m not going to fucking argue with you over this.”

No one deserved bullying.

Fuck. Just one more responsibility on his shoulders. He had to keep watch on the Byrds—the Barts—and that was the most important thing. Everything else, he’d fit in.

“Leave other girls alone. You can’t be friends with no one else. I have to be your best friend. You can say hi to Mattie and Rebel—”

“That’s my fucking cousin and sister, one of whom I live with.”

“I don’t care. They might talk you into not liking me and change your mind about us dating.”

“I don’t want to date you, Jaleena,” he bit out, fed up with her fucking autocracy and her wild demands. “I want us to be friends.”

Jaleena’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

He nodded. “I invited you to dinner to clear the air.” When Harley found out, she’d wanted to tag along. Fuck, he almost wished he’d allowed her to. But then he’d have another problem. Those two would’ve been trading jabs and insults all fucking evening. Fuck.

Girls.

“I’m returning to school next Monday. We’ll see each other every day and it’ll be so awkward if we’re enemies.”

Confusion knit Jaleena’s brow and she glanced around. Knox’s mother owned the restaurant. Over the years, the place had undergone two renovations with the most recent two years before that saw the addition of a second floor for overflow crowds, balcony dining, an assembly hall, and another private dining room. At Knox’s invitation and Aunt Kendall’s negotiations, Mom and Lolly invested.

It was a gorgeous restaurant, decorated in shades of blue and silver with elaborate chandeliers, mirrored glass tables for two, epoxy wood tables for larger groups, leather booths, and glass top host desk and curved bar in the middle of the first floor.

CJ and his family dined here at least once a month, usually in the largest private dining room because they were such a rowdy bunch. Sometimes, though, he came even more often because he’d accompany Lolly, Knox, and Grant if Harley was tagging along.

Harley.

He’d muted his phone, so her texts wouldn’t disturb his date. Now, he almost reached behind him and removed it from his jacket pocket to check.

“When you called me, I thought it was because you missed me.”

Missing two girls was enough. He didn’t need to add a third, though, fuck him, he did miss Jaleena. Once, she’d made him laugh and he’d always be grateful for how she collected his homework for him. But he’d never been that into her. It wasn’t because of whatever bullshit she’d said.

It was because his heart was taken. Divided.

Broken because of two different girls for two different reasons.

At the hurt in Jaleena’s voice, guilt, layered with regret, swamped CJ. Things had already been awkward between them. He should’ve left well enough alone. The date hadn’t cleared the air; it muddied the waters.

Lesson learned.

“You’ve gone out of your way to impress me,” she said, uncertainty in her tone and on her face. “You rented a Corvette.”

Leaning back, CJ sighed. “That’s my mom’s car.”

Dark, accusing eyes glared at him. “Your mom drives a Lexus SUV. Don’t play me for a fool,” she reiterated.

“I’m not. Dad bought Mom a Vette because she fell in love with it at a car show. He doesn’t let her drive it very often because she always feels the need for speed in it.”

She looked unimpressed. “I don’t believe you. My father would never allow one of us access to anything he bought for my mother.”

“I don’t have a reason to lie to you,” he said evenly. “I’ll show you the registration just to make you eat your words.”

A small smile curved her luscious lips. “Bet.”

“Lighten up, bae,” he told her. “We’re friends. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. I just…my life’s so complicated, Leen.”

“I like you enough for both of us. We can make love and see what comes of it.”

The offer was so fucking tempting. He was attracted to Jaleena. He just didn’t have romantic feelings for her.

“I don’t need that difficulty.”

Her brows snapped together. “You’re calling sex with me a difficulty?”

“I’m calling the aftermath a difficulty. You’d expect more from me than I’m willing to give. First off, your fucking rules are stupid. I’m not ignoring my sister, my cousins, other girls I’ve grown up with because of you. You met me with them already in my life. You’d fucking deal with it or get to fucking stepping.” That was non-negotiable for her or anyone else. “Second, my life puts me into contact with a bunch of girls. You trust me or you don’t.”

“You have to earn my trust.”

“Can’t fucking do that if you don’t give me the fucking chance to show I’m trustworthy.”

“You don’t have to go to that clubhouse.”

“Yeah, I do. I grew up in that clubhouse. I want to run that clubhouse one day. That’s also non-negotiable.”

“I didn’t realize you were such an unfair asshole.”

Her words stung him. “I don’t think I’m being unfair or an asshole. I’m being real and true to myself.”

“Selfish much?”

“Nope. I can’t be true to anyone else if I’m fucking miserable, Jaleena. And I’m not your motherfucking puppet to have my fucking strings jerked to appease you. I’m fully capable of making my own goddamn decisions.”

“You’re a foul-mouthed, chauvinistic, idiotic jackass with no couth. That means refined, cultured, and well-mannered. Unlike you. You’re lucky I considered you worthy to be in my presence.”

“If I’m such a fucking barbarian, why do you even want to be with me?”

She drew herself up. “I never expected to like you,” she admitted softly, the scorn absent from her. She sounded bewildered, and bit her lip. “I definitely never expected to want you for my boyfriend. I broke up with Nardo because of you.”

“Did he know that?”

She nodded.

That was probably the reason that motherfucker went after Harley.

“Your name calling isn’t making me want you,” he said. Why Nardo hooked up with Harley didn’t matter. It had been up to her to think enough of herself and CJ not to fall for his bullshit. “Not even as a friend.”

D. Elliot walked up to the table. In the five years he’d been on staff, he served CJ and his family whenever they dined. He’d moved up in the ranks from bus boy to on call waiter to a regular shift position. Now, he was training to become a coveted head waiter at J’s. He wanted his own restaurant one day.

CJ smiled, glad to see a friendly face. “D. Elliot. How’s the kid?”

The waiter’s grin lit up his brown face. “Never told you I had a child, bro.”

“You’re a senior.” CJ looked at Jaleena, hoping to bring her into the conversation. “His name’s D. Elliot Carter, Sr. I’d bet there was a junior somewhere.”

“What’s the D stand for?” she asked petulantly.

“He’s never said.” CJ lifted a brow at D. Elliot. “Let the secret out, dude.”

“Nope. Not your business, C. Besides, D. Elliot is mysterious and elegant. It’s what drew my old lady to me.”

“Fuck, you got a woman?” CJ winked at Jaleena. She didn’t thaw. “Wonders never cease.”

“Edna isn’t just any woman, fool. She’s gorgeous.” He shrugged. “She’s my ex-wife, took my kid to LA, but she’s back now.”

CJ squinted at D. Elliot, thinking of Torie. Of course, her last name was Meadows, not Carter, though she could’ve been using her maiden name. Even more significantly, her given name was Torie, not Edna.

“My ex’s dream is to open upscale restaurants and start a franchise.”

Relief settled into CJ’s gut. With his mother acting so strangely, he’d thought for a moment that Torie was tormenting her again. But Torie was a nurse, not a restauranteur.

“Why’d you two divorce?”

“Couldn’t keep my cock in my pants.”

“Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Jaleena said tightly.

D. Elliot smiled. “We’ll see. She’s made me pay right good.” He glanced between them. “Are you two ready to order?”

Jaleena got to her feet, so CJ scrambled to his. He might’ve been annoyed beyond reason with her, but Mom would expect him to act like a gentleman.

Jaleena snatched her small evening bag. She was stunning in a sparkly silver mini dress that revealed her long legs, toned arms, and swan-like neck.

His cock stirred with the same desire he’d felt when she’d opened the door at her house earlier in the evening and he’d seen her.

“I’m leaving,” she announced.

Caught up in lust, it took CJ a moment to process her icy words.

“Jaleena—”

“Shut up,” she ordered. “I’m leaving.”

Glad he hadn’t used valet and digging in his pocket, CJ pulled out his billfold and started to hand a twenty to D. Elliot.

“No, I don’t want to ever talk to you again. I’m calling an Uber.” Resentment underscored her words and oozed from her body.

She turned on her heel and stalked away.

He told himself to go after her. After all, he’d picked her up for their date. If nothing else, Mom and Dad as well as her parents, would expect him to see her safely home.

But he just couldn’t. He’d endured enough of her insults for one evening. If he somehow convinced her to get into the car, she’d make the drive fucking miserable. Mom’s Corvette had a banging sound system, so he could always blast music. Jaleena didn’t like loud music in cars.

Sighing, he sat back down.

“That girl’s a fucking bitch, bro,” D. Elliot said. “She did you a favor walking out.” He patted CJ’s back. “You want to order?”

“Bring me a salad, dude,” he said quietly. “Then I’ll let you know.”

Twenty-five minutes later, D. Elliot returned and sat the plate in front of CJ. “Sorry I took so long. I had to help out upstairs.”

“Don’t worry. I still have hours left before my curfew is up.”

The salad wasn’t nearly enough to fill him up, but he’d find something to eat once he got home. Allowing Jaleena to leave on her own wasn’t sitting right with him, so he paid his tab, bid D. Elliot farewell, then headed to the brightly lit parking lot dedicated to J’s customers.

As he walked up to his mother’s Corvette, he thought the reflection of the area lights played tricks on him. Until he got closer and saw the long scratch marks ruining the gleaming paint along both sides and on the hood.

Dad was going to fucking kill him.

For long moments, CJ stared at the damage, trying to come up with another reason his mother’s car had been marred. Except, of course, the obvious one.

Jaleena.

Fucking bitch.

She’d keyed Mom’s car.

Thinking of his parents’ reactions made CJ walk around the car to buy time and to check for any other dents.

No more knicks and scrapes. But all the fucking tires were flat.

Motherfucker!

Kicking air in frustration, he stormed back into the restaurant. He needed to fucking regroup, then take balls in hand and call his father for help.