Chapter Nine

As Christopher stepped into the clubhouse, his gaze fell on two figures at the bar. Potter sat on a stool, his head on the counter, while Kendall stood at the far end, near the door that led to the kitchens and the backyard. Behind the bar, Bishop washed glasses.

It was quiet for a Sunday afternoon. Perhaps because it was so early in the year, and everyone was still committed to resolutions. Or, maybe, because the holiday season had been a bust and his 50th birthday just capped off the dreariness. After the spectacle of his 49th birthday party, motherfuckers anticipated his big one from the day after.

Or, maybe, it was him. They felt his withdrawal. Everything had its time and place.

Everything, even life, especially life, ended.

Where once he thrived on balancing Christopher and Outlaw, family man and fearsome motherfucker, almost losing Megan in November and all the subsequent bullshit that followed, no longer appealed to him. He wanted to make sure she took her pills and he wanted to keep after her until she underwent her surgery.

He couldn’t fucking protect his wife from her own misguided decisions if his club distracted him.

If the club distracted him.

Fucking insane how the club was more an afterthought nowadays than a main priority. What the fuck did that shit say? Being half in and half out made him a weak husband and father and a weak club president. It endangered everyfuckinbody, most of all his Megan.

His sigh captured Kendall’s attention. She stumbled toward him. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks tear stained.

“I-I need to talk to you,” she said hoarsely.

Not responding, he grabbed her elbow and guided her away from the door where he’d stopped, past the table where him, his boys, and their wives sat, through the archway where the Grim Reaper kept watch and down the hall to his office. Once he unlocked the door and flipped on the light, he headed to his chair behind the desk. When Kendall closed the door, he didn’t protest.

She leaned against it and her chin wobbled. “I love Johnnie.”

“I know.”

“But I hate that motherfucker,” she snarled.

Christopher smiled. “I fuckin’ relate.”

Stalking to a chair in front of his desk, she sat. “Johnnie’s lost his goddamn mind.”

“I ain’t too sane either, Kendall.”

“You’d never slap your daughter across her face.”

“I was fuckin’ abused, so you right. Even if I would’ve ever thought to do that shit, Megan would’ve left me after she fucked my ass up.”

“You kept your hands to yourself because of Meggie?”

“Nope. I kept my hands to myfuckinself because I was Logan, Ma, and my grandma’s fuckin’ punchin’ bag. Logan fucked me up for something, then usually Ma and Elmira fucked me up, too. Belts, fists, kicks. But they abused Ma, too, so she thought she was makin’ me behave so she wouldn’t get hit.”

Kendall paled. “I-I never knew that.”

“Wasn’t your fuckin’ business.”

Her face crumpled.

“Ain’t meant it that way. I just meant the only person that know everyfuckinthing about me is my girl.”

“I suppose…I suppose you expect me to divorce Johnnie.” She bowed her head. “No, you’re probably jumping for joy that you’ll probably be rid of me.”

Before he answered her, he unlocked the file draw and took out a bottle of tequila, along with two glasses, then filled them both and slid one to Kendall.

He sipped and waited for her to taste her own.

“I ain’t expectin’ you to do fuck all, Kendall. Especially divorce that motherfucker.”

“But he was going to slap Mattie.”

“And your fuckin’ ass was goin’ to punch CJ in his fuckin’ face when he was six years old.”

Shame crossed her face. She gulped tequila. “You got your revenge.”

“You ain’t fucked yourself up,” he said with a shrug. “Revenge failed.”

Tears rushed to her eyes and slipped down her cheeks again.

“You been behavin’,” he told her quietly. “That’s all the fuck I ever wanted from you, Kendall. I hated on you for a long fuckin’ time, but that stopped years ago. You still annoy the fuck outta me sometimes, but, baby, you part of my family. My sister-in-law. Only fuckin’ reason I’d kill you now is cuz of Megan.”

“Speaking of—”

“I know about Torie.”

Kendall drained her glass, got to her feet, and grabbed the bottle. She started to pour more into her glass, then drank from the bottle and sat.

“That wasn’t a fuckin’ fresh bottle.”

“Meggie hasn’t died from contamination. Neither have I since you and your officers still share fucking bottles, including my husband.”

“You a fuckin’ girl. It ain’t the same.”

“Torie took your fucking cigarette, and you smoked behind her, asshole. I don’t intend to give you the goddamn bottle back.”

He dropped the subject of tequila. “Ima kill Torie, Kendall, so you ain’t gotta—”

She laughed. “Fuck off. You couldn’t even get that fucking money from her, dickhead. No, that bitch is mine. I have enough problems. I didn’t give that bitch my number to fuck with me. You do you. I’m doing Torie.”

“Only way I can make up to Megan is to kill Torie, Kendall, so fuck off.”

“You had your chance.”

“Listen up—”

Draining the bottle, she raised her hand. “Give me one chance. If I fuck up or she still fucks with Meggie, she’s all yours.”

Christopher opened his mouth to protest.

“Focus on Jo and Meggie for now. Besides, you don’t know what Torie’s said to who. Let me find out.”

“Fine.” He looked at his empty glass and threw Kendall a dark look. “I could use another fuckin’ drink.”

“Tough shit.”

“Since you feelin’ better and drank all the tequila Mort gave me for my birthday last year, get the fuck out.”

Setting the empty bottle on the desk, she rolled her eyes. “Mattie is crushed. I…” She rubbed her temples. “I want to kill Johnnie and I want to hide him away and protect him.” All over again, tears rushed to her eyes, and she stared at Christopher. “I love him more than I hate him. Him, my children…you and Meggie, your kids…Mortician…Roxy…you all are the only family I have. I…he needs protection.”

Leaning back in his chair, Christopher folded his arms and studied Kendall. He thought back to everything Johnnie had done these past weeks. How Bash had been lurking. All the revelations at Christopher’s birthday party.

“What is Johnnie tryin’ to fix with Bash, Kendall? Who’s the most in danger? You or Megan?”

“Don’t kill him. Please. Meggie really doesn’t care. As long as she was on his side, I always knew he was safe no matter what he did.”

“She saved his fuckin’ life.”

“For me.” Kendall raised tortured eyes to Christopher. “Meggie is still recovering. She’s still trying to deal with everything. She…Torie ruined her. I-I don’t know if it is irreversible or if she’ll go back to being our Meggie once the storm has calmed. But Axel is not yet eleven. Realizing she’s already lost him to the club, and she had to find out from a woman who was trying to steal you from her has crushed her.”

Christopher glowered at Kendall. “Keep fuckin’ talkin and you ain’t gonna get the chance you want. Ima just blaze to Cali and fuck that bitch up.”

“She’d still take you away from Meggie if she opened her fucking mouth or warned anyone about the possibility of her disappearing and who to look at first.”

“Megan not a bloodthirsty bitch.”

“Meggie thinks she’s old.”

“What the fuck you said?”

“You heard me. She asked me if I thought she was old.”

“Well, fuck. She must think my ass Methuselah. She just reached the age my ass was when we met two fuckin’ years ago. By then, we’d been together sixteen years.”

“Goddamn, your fucking ass is old as Methuselah.”

Snickering, Christopher flipped her off.

She laughed merrily.

“Megan need me, Kendall. That’s just one more example.” He leaned his head on the back of his chair and closed his eyes. “I can’t do this shit no more. I need to help my Megan. Nothin’ else matter to me.”

“Johnnie needs you, darling. I need you. Mortician. My son. All of us.”

Christopher popped his eyes open and glared at her. “Fuck Johnnie. That motherfucker don’t need me. I hate that assfuck.”

All her joy fled. “He does, Outlaw. Bash is going to kill him and Brooks.”

“Why? And how the fuck does Megan fit into this?”

For a second, indecision tore across Kendall’s face, then she burst into tears and the entire story fell from her. How Bash was targeting Megan and believed she owned the club. How Johnnie had been paying Bash to protect Megan and, when that failed, went on a campaign to drive her away. How he wanted Kendall to target Megan. How Johnnie wanted to be the hero for once, without having to run to Christopher to fix everything.

Kendall could barely finish the story because of her sobs. He never thought he’d see the day when he got to his feet, pulled Kendall to hers and hugged her in comfort, seeing her, for the moment, as a sister as much as Zoann and Ophelia were.

He was so fucking furious that Johnnie had fucked up so royally. Yet, relief poured into him. In a fucked up way, Johnnie was trying to protect the club. Megan? Not so much. He’d found a way to seek revenge and seized on it.

However, he wouldn’t say that to Kendall. He was sure she’d figured it out on her own, anyway. Johnnie’s entitled stupidity ran deep.

If he hadn’t fucked with Megan, Christopher might’ve forgiven him. While he no longer hated him, he still wanted to kill him for fucking with his girl and—

Fuck him. Suddenly, he got just what the fuck Megan had been telling him. Even as fucked up in the head as he was and didn’t know if he still belonged in the club, he wanted to kill Johnnie for fucking with Megan.

He’d killed those two bitches Derby left him with because they were trying to get him to fuck. That would’ve fucked with Megan.

For years, he’d wanted to kill Kendall. For fucking with Megan.

And yet…

Fucking yet…

Toriefucked with Megan in more ways than one, and all he ever did was defend her.

He went rigid.

Mistaking his unmistakable fury, Kendall screamed without warning. He jumped.

“Don’t kill him,” she wept, pounding against his chest. “Please! Please! Don’t kill Johnnie—”

The door opened. Megan halted and her eyes widened at seeing Christopher hugging Kendall.

Before he reacted, Kendall turned and saw Megan, rushing to her and almost knocking her off her feet as she bent and threw her arms around her.

“Save Johnnie, Meggie!” Kendall cried. “Please, please, please. God, I hate that motherfucker. No! I love that goddamn asshole. No. Yes. No. Yes.”

“Kendall!” Megan took Kendall’s face between her hands and gripped her. “Calm down. Christopher won’t kill Johnnie.”

“Yes! He wants me to throw insults at you. Even from the grave, Logan and Sharper and Rack and all of them want to destroy Outlaw and you and Johnnie,” she sobbed. “Bash wants you dead because you own the club and Johnnie is such a fucking stupid motherfucker!”

“Kendall, shut the fuck up,” Christopher snarled, storming toward his wife and sister-in-law, and jerking Kendall away.

She faced Megan. “I love him, Meggie. I know you think I should divorce him. No! You’re going to hate me, too.”

“I own the club?” Megan asked in confusion.

Kendall nodded her head wildly. “I want to look into all the documents. Johnnie won’t let me!

“Johnnie ain’t got a fuckin’ say in this!” Christopher said.

A thoughtful expression on her face, Megan hugged Kendall. “Bishop called me and asked if I had anything to feed Potter. I think he’s hungry, too.” She rubbed her back. “I’m glad he called me back, so you talk to Christopher while I find food for us. There’s not a big crowd.”

She guided Kendall back to Christopher and rubbed her back again. “You and Christopher figure this out. You have legal skills that will come in handy to help Christopher save Johnnie and me.”

Megan backed toward the door.

“Kendall ain’t a club member.”

“Neither is Brooks, Christopher.”

“The only way Kendall and me can work together on this is if my ass still runnin’ the club.”

“Really?” Megan said with innocence. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Yeah—”

“I have to start dinner.” She started to walk out, then halted and turned. “I’m your woman, Christopher. You need me to protect you right now, so I will. You’re exhausted, my love. It’s falling apart on all fronts at the worst possible time. If you want to leave the club, I will support you. Just let everything settle down first. Get your bearings back. Your strength. Your weight. Your rest. If Kendall asked Johnnie to look at the legal documents that claim I own the club and he told her no, you can tell her yes. Kendall is smart and she is fabulously creative when she’s at her most ruthless. Let her research the documents and let her report to you. Once Mortician has his house together and his marriage back on track, bring him on board if you’re still distracted. But you have to remain Prez to see this through.”

She heaved in another breath and offered him her look of love, the one that always told him everything he needed to know. In her eyes, on her face. Adoration. Respect. Tenderness.

The only things in the world that he truly lived for.

She smiled gently at Kendall. “As for you, sister-in-law, you love Johnnie. He’s a huge jerk and I want to strangle him myself, but he’s running scared. You asked me what you should do, and I allowed anger to cloud my vision. Let him recuperate at the club for a few days, so he can ponder his actions alone. Once he’s healed, take him home. Put him in a guestroom. Lock him out of sex and make it absolutely clear to him he must ease up on Mattie and he stop making Rory feel so low for becoming what Johnnie turned him into.” She folded her arms and made a face. “Don’t let him know you and Christopher are teaming up. Meanwhile, in front of him, you and I—” Anger crossed her face, and she rolled her eyes. “Make digs at me, Kendall.”

“What?”

Christopher ignored Kendall and glared at Megan. He’d been onboard with her plan and proud as a motherfucker until that bullshit fell from her lips. “Fuck no, baby!”

“Gaslighting Johnnie with me as bait is the only way, but choose your words carefully, Kendall. I don’t…I’m not the strongest right now, so I don’t want us to—”

“That’s why I said fuck no,” Christopher snapped. “The best laid plans always get fucked up the motherfuckin’ ass!”

Swallowing, Megan’s lips trembled, and tears brimmed in her eyes. She stared at Kendall. “Don’t do it too much. Just enough to keep Johnnie off our backs while we figure this out. You help me protect my husband and I’ll help you protect yours.”

“No, Megan!”

“Yes, Christopher.” She swiped at a tear. “We’ve lived with the specter of Logan Donovan, Sharper Banks, Cee Cee Caldwell, and my father long enough. Frankly, I’m tired of their vileness casting such shadows over our happiness. United we stand, divided we fall. I don’t believe I own this club. No one ever mentioned it and I would’ve been dead long before now.”

Her casual words chilled Christopher.

“Someone’s playing a cruel joke. Bash is using that as an excuse to target me. Or one of those men schemed my name onto the titles. If that’s the case…”

Her tremble told Christopher she wasn’t as nonchalant as she pretended.

“Either it was to weaken you or to have something over my father.”

“Megan—”

“I’m going to cook,” she said. “Tomorrow’s Jo’s surgery. If-if she…if everything’s okay, you’re going eat three full meals a day again as well as snacks. And we’re working out again. I can’t make you rest if your mind’s pinning a thousand miles a minute,” she said grimly, “but the first step to getting Outlaw back is strengthening Christopher. Get to work, you two. Do what you do best. Scheme.”

She left.

“You heard her, Kendall.” Christopher returned to his desk and sat. “Let’s get to fuckin’ work.”

“I can give her activated charcoal recipes. It helps strengthen bones by removing toxins.”

“You can also kiss my motherfuckin’ ass.”

Taking her seat, she laughed. “Do you give me permission to look into the documents?”

Christopher studied Kendall. Megan was right. Kendall was an expert at her fucking game. When she’d been on her fucking warpath, she caused the most destruction because she was so fucking brutal to achieve whatever goal she’d fixated on.

“I’m goin’ to assign a detail to you,” he told her. “Don’t risk yourfuckinself lookin’ into the shit. Underfuckinstand?”

She nodded. “You’re lucky to have Meggie. At one time, I thought she was too young for you. I thought you’d eat her alive and then leave her in the dust. It always came out wrong, but I wanted to protect her.”

“We each wanted to protect her from the fuckin’ other, Kendall,” he said with a shrug. “When I look back, I feel guilty sometimes that she was so fuckin’ young. I wonder if she had other choices if she wouldna stayed.”

“She did.” She lowered her gaze. “Johnnie. She had Johnnie, waiting in the wings for her. If she’d went with him, he would’ve patched out if she’d asked.”

“Johnnie love you,” he felt compelled to say.

“I accepted a long time ago that I was his second, Outlaw. The only way he truly fell in love with me was by hating Meggie.” Her smile was sad. “There’s such a thin line between love and hate. Johnnie is all kinds of fucked up, but don’t think I don’t know how deeply satisfied he is by torturing her. Somehow, we all made it work and we made my husband human. However, these past months, he’s moved away from your influence.”

“He knew what the fuck he was doin’.”

“It doesn’t matter. For good or bad, he emulated you. Until he felt as if he couldn’t turn to you. He got completely out-of-control.”

“Kendall, I want to kill that motherfucker.”

“I’m sure you do, but he’s always emulated you. You’ve always protected him.”

“He constantly fuck over my wife.”

“I just want you to know she had a choice. More than that, she had a brain. She is so strong. I don’t think she even realizes to what extent.”

“My fuckin’ ass do.”

“Which is why I said you’re lucky to have her. You lift her up and allow her to fly. She protects you with the fierceness of a lioness protecting her cub. I have no doubt she could run this club for you until you get your head on straight.”

Hot embarrassment flared in him. Christopher glanced away. “I ain’t nothin’ but a weak pussy lately, Kendall.”

“You’re just a guy who loves a girl.”

The pain in her voice matched the look on her face.

Leaning forward, he smiled gently at her and reached across the desk to where her hands rested. He took them into his own and squeezed.

“I ain’t worth shit right now. I want…fuck, I don’t have to repeat…” Releasing her, he leaned back and closed his eyes. “I ain’t even too sure how to fuckin’ talk no more.”

“You get your point across however you talk, honey. And Meggie doesn’t give a fuck, although I can see why she, CJ, and Rebel have been so worried about you. You aren’t worth shit right now. So, fuck, eat a few fucking cows and all that fried food—”

“She makes me eat salad and vegetables. And she fuckin’ cook more than beef and fried shit.”

“Depending on the age, cows are veal.”

“Ain’t givin’ a good fuck. Cows, bulls, what-the-fuck-ever. Red meat. That’s better?”

“Yes.” She got to her feet. “I think I’ll help Meggie.”

“I beat the fuck out of your man.”

She shrugged. “I saw him. He deserved it.” Her mouth turned down in a frown. “Meggie’s jaw is swollen.”

“I’m tryin’ not to focus on that, so I don’t go fuckin’ blow him the fuck away.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“Mort stopped me.”

“Oh.” She shifted. “What now?”

“Now, we work together to unravel the fucking mystery of whatever Johnnie was trying to protect Megan from.”

“Okay.”

“We work to save this motherfucker from Bash and from me,” Christopher added darkly.

“How often should I report to you?”

“Weekly.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

As she reached the door, her shoulders slumped in dejection, Christopher thought about Megan’s words. They needed to stand in solidarity to conquer all their demons.

“Kendall?”

Halting, she turned. “Yes?”

“Johnnie’s lucky to have you.”

She thought for a moment, then smiled, and stood a little taller as she walked out of his office.