Chapter Five

CHAPTER FIVE

July 2015, K2 Camp Three

“Oh my god, don’t go out there.”

Sophie shielded her face with her arm as Evelyn stumbled inside and struggled to zip the tent closed, fighting against a wind that seemed determined to rip them right off the mountainside. After another minute, Sophie leaned forward and grabbed part of the tent door, holding the thin flap of material as still as possible as Evelyn tore off her thick glove and managed to zip the door completely. They both fell back, panting, and tried to stabilize the tent as it billowed and snapped in the wind.

“So. Was it worth it to pee?”

Evelyn laughed. “I mean, I survived. What’s the alternative? Kidney failure?”

“You could pee in one of these bowls.”

“Gross. We eat out of those.”

Sophie shrugged, glad that she had no reason to leave the tent. Outside, one of the wildest storms she’d ever encountered raged. When they’d reached Camp Three and set up their tent that afternoon, it had been difficult to stand upright. The winds had only grown stronger as evening fell. Evelyn took off her headlamp and laid it beside her sleeping bag, adding to the soft white glow of Sophie’s headlamp. The shifting tent walls sent eerie shadows bouncing across her skin.

“So,” Evelyn said, propping herself up on her sleeping bag and turning on her side to face Sophie. “We’re in for a long night. Entertain me.”

Sophie rolled her eyes. “How? Nothing new has happened to me.” Almost a month had passed since they’d started the trek to K2, and they had barely left each other’s sides in that time.

“Let’s talk about someone else then. What do you think Miles is up to right now?”

Sophie frowned. Although she was normally happy to hear Miles’s name—it always reminded her that she was connected to someone else, part of a unit, married —she had spent much of their trip trying not to think about him. They’d gotten into a few fights before she left for K2, even while Evelyn was sleeping in the guest room, hushed arguments that were a continuation of a bigger disagreement. For months now, Miles had been talking about moving. His discontent started in the winter. He hated being cooped up in the cabin, snowed in and unable to leave. The rivers froze over, cutting off a steady portion of his income. While Sophie was happy to ski on the mostly deserted roads, Miles languished, working on a painting for an hour or two and spending the entirety of the rest of his time, it seemed to Sophie, complaining. At her encouragement, he started staying with a friend in Jackson for short stretches of time, whenever the roads were clear enough to make the thirty-mile drive. Sophie was often away, too, staying at park lodging on weekends for work. But when they were together, she heard the same thing from Miles again and again. He thought they should move to New York, to San Francisco, to Chicago. He thought his time in Wyoming was over. And he was ready for Sophie’s to be over, too.

Evelyn’s eyebrows rose as she noticed Sophie’s expression. “What?”

“Nothing. I don’t even know what time it is back home. He’s either sleeping, painting, kayaking, or packing up to leave.”

She tried to say the last bit as casually as possible, but Evelyn leaned forward, eyebrows rising even higher than before.

“What?” Evelyn repeated.

Sophie sighed, wishing she hadn’t phrased it that way. She didn’t feel like laying out all the facts for Evelyn, not after an exhausting day of climbing, and not at twenty-one thousand feet of elevation, where breathing and thinking were equally difficult. But she had brought it up for a reason—the months of arguing had set her on edge. She didn’t have a person in the world to talk to about it besides Evelyn. And she suspected Evelyn might have overheard them fighting, anyway, because it was hard for Sophie to keep her voice down when she talked to Miles about how his insistence on uprooting their life made her feel. Which was more than a little hurt, and more than a little angry.

She laid out the details for Evelyn, Miles’s desire to move, his inability to see how living in a city would entirely disrupt her life, and how little time they spent together these days. “I thought staying with a friend was just an arrangement for the winter, but he stays in Jackson so often now. The cabin, Wyoming, it was all his idea. So why does he want to leave now?” She felt pathetic, with Evelyn’s concerns about her dropping out of school and following Miles around fresh in her mind. Evelyn had never said out loud to Sophie that she didn’t like Miles, but Sophie had fielded constant skepticism throughout their relationship.

“I feel like you’re being very calm about this. I mean, Sophie, it’s absurd that he wants to move again already. It’s been a year. You’ve built a life there. Moving to a city would be entirely for his benefit.”

Sophie shrugged. A fierce gust of wind shook the tent, distracting her for a moment. “We’ve had a really good relationship so far. I love the—” she gestured “— idea of the life we’ve tried to build together. I just feel so distant from him right now. We’re on separate wavelengths. If he could just sell a few paintings, get some big deal, I think he’d be happy to stay. I keep telling him to build his image as a Western artist, but he doesn’t want to be seen that way.”

“Sounds like you’re the one putting in all the effort,” Evelyn said, blowing out a frustrated breath. She paused, as if recalibrating. “Well, I guess not. You’re married. But you can’t live his life for him, you know? If he really wants to be an artist, he’ll make it happen anywhere. If he thinks Wyoming is boring in the winter, too bad. He picked it.” Sophie could see her sister’s brain working, thinking of solutions.

Sophie nodded, but her mind was already back to Miles, wondering if she should revisit the Western artist conversation when she returned home.

“What if he moved somewhere else in the winter? He could rent in a different city or find an artist residency or something. You’d still have most of the year together.”

Evelyn looked pleased with her idea, but Sophie shook her head. “We don’t have any extra money for that.”

Evelyn’s brow furrowed, signaling that she was about to reenter problem-solving mode.

“Let’s talk about something else, okay?” Sophie said quickly. “I’ll deal with Miles when I get back home.” If all went well, they would summit K2 next week, but they had already agreed to stay longer and attempt neighboring Broad Peak if they succeeded. They had the resources—the food, the guide, the permits—and the time. But it was a long time to spend away from Miles, with close to zero communication. Sophie felt like she’d left behind a looming question mark that overshadowed everything she did. She didn’t actually think Miles would move while she was gone, but she wondered what state their relationship would be in when she returned. Maybe his mind would be made up as another winter approached. She felt helpless, and Sophie hated feeling helpless.

“I’m pretty beat,” Evelyn announced. “Let’s try to sleep soon.”

Sophie agreed, though she knew Evelyn struggled to rest at high altitude and often lay awake for hours after Sophie herself fell asleep. She reached over to switch off her headlamp. “If only James was here. He’d tell us to shut up and sleep, ‘or else.’”

Evelyn laughed. “That ‘or else’ is such an empty threat.”

“Because he knows we’ll find out the consequences of our own actions. Remember Everest?”

“Don’t remind me,” Evelyn groaned. “I’m never getting drunk on a mountain again.”

“I thought you were going to die. I’ve never seen you look so sick,” Sophie replied, smiling at her memory of Evelyn, pale as a ghost and vomiting outside their tent the next morning. “I think James regretted inviting us after that.”

“Hey. We summited.” Evelyn turned off her lamp, too, plunging the tent into complete darkness.

“We sure did. And we’ll summit K2.”

“Don’t forget Broad Peak. The less impressive little sister.”

“Hey,” Sophie said, reaching through the dark to punch Evelyn’s arm. “I resent the implication.”

The next morning, they descended to Camp Two, another day of acclimatization. Downclimbing included traversing the black pyramid, a technical array of steep, spiky rock formations that required intense focus. Sophie woke up early and stretched outside the tent, relieved to be greeted by bluebird skies and a gentler wind. A few other climbers had spent the night at Camp Three, and she watched them preparing for their day. Some were headed on toward Camp Four, and some were also descending. Tashi Sherpa, the mountain guide they’d hired to assist them on their climb, organized ropes beside his tent. He would descend before them and work on setting up their Camp Two accommodation again.

Sophie stuck her head back in the tent, eager to begin descending before the black pyramid became crowded with climbers going both up and down. “Almost ready?”

“Yeah,” Evelyn replied, though she didn’t sound confident. “Sorry. I’m moving slow this morning.”

A few minutes later she appeared, appropriately bundled head to toe. She strapped her crampons onto her boots and looked up at Sophie. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

The sisters entered the spiderweb of ropes offering different paths through the rocks. Sophie took the lead and paused to check the connection of each rope, yanking as hard as she could before clipping on and rappelling. A loose rope would be a death trap. A frayed rope could be, too, but those were much harder to spot. She noticed Evelyn wasn’t doing the same—she simply clipped onto whichever rope Sophie was finished with, without checking the strength.

“Hey,” Sophie called up. “Double-check the ropes, okay?”

“Why?” Evelyn called down.

Sophie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Her sister should know better. “Because if the rope is loose, you’ll die,” Sophie replied.

Evelyn didn’t respond right away. “I’m doing my best, okay? My arms feel weak. I don’t want to use up all my energy.”

Sophie considered her response, wishing that Evelyn had told her sooner that she didn’t feel in top shape. They were well into the pyramid, which had taken four hours to ascend. The descent might take just as long. They could have spent a day at Camp Three—less restful than Camp Two, but better than another exhaustive day of climbing. But Evelyn would have told you if she didn’t feel up to it , Sophie reminded herself. She trusted Evelyn completely; that’s what made them a good team.

“Focus on finding good footholds then, okay? Don’t put all your weight on the ropes. And clip onto two when you can!” Sophie called up, her voice echoing off the cathedral of rocks. Moving slowly, she watched her sister navigate her path through the pyramid, following many of the same steps as Sophie even though she couldn’t see her. Sophie called out good footholds and dangerous spots, working as two pairs of arms and legs and eyes: hers and Evelyn’s.

Two hours later they reached the snow gully beneath the black pyramid. Exhausted, mentally and physically, Sophie unclipped from the last line and tried to catch her breath as she waited for Evelyn. She glanced over her shoulder, taking in the staggering view of Broad Peak, among the other nearby mountains, and the wide glacier far below.

Minutes later, Evelyn was by her side. “Man. That was tough.”

Sophie nodded, though part of her wondered how much more quickly she could have descended without waiting for Evelyn. She admonished herself for thinking that way, because Evelyn’s weakness had prevented her from climbing recklessly, had kept her safe.

“Thanks for looking out for me.”

Sophie smiled. “Of course.”

“I’m leading tomorrow,” Evelyn said, her voice easy with confidence. Even in moments of weakness, she was good at maintaining an aura of certainty. Maybe that came with being born first—a natural sense of leadership even when following.

“Deal. I can’t believe we have to climb that mess again tomorrow.”

“Yes, you can. I bet you’re planning a different route up already.”

“You know me so well,” Sophie replied.

But it was Evelyn who saved Sophie’s skin on summit day. Climbing into the bottleneck in lead, Sophie couldn’t help glancing up every few minutes at the massive serac hanging over the route. Something in her gut told her to turn back, but she ignored it. Pure instinct, probably—it went against all rational thought to walk beneath a gigantic, unstable shelf of ice.

Sophie paused for a minute, catching her breath from the near-vertical climb. They were already in the death zone; the clock was ticking. She looked over her shoulder at Evelyn, who was close behind. Evelyn had recovered from what they realized was a minor bout of altitude sickness the day they descended the black pyramid back to Camp Two. Her climbing had improved now that her body had fully acclimated.

“Everything okay?” Evelyn asked.

Sophie nodded, though her stomach flipped as she gazed past Evelyn, down the sickeningly steep slope they’d just ascended. “I wanted to stop for a minute here, because we can’t in the bottleneck.” Speaking seemed to steal all the oxygen from her body.

Evelyn’s eyes were covered by sunglasses, but her mouth twisted in concern. “If you need O2—”

“No,” Sophie replied. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t let your pride get in the way, is what I was going to say.”

Sophie resisted the urge to snipe back. She knew Evelyn meant well. The altitude left Sophie’s brain feeling supercharged and fuzzy at the same time. So she held her tongue, nodded, and gestured for them to continue on.

Through the bottleneck, they turned left, traversing a steep, slow path beneath the serac. The sun had burned off the morning clouds and the ice shelf shone clear white, smooth except for the cracks and ridges running across its surface. Sophie tried not to look, focusing on each footstep. Her head pounded and each breath was a hard-fought battle, but they were close. The summit was within reach.

“Sophie, look out!”

Evelyn’s cry stopped her in her tracks. She had only an instant to look up, to connect the strange, eerie groan to the crack that followed as a car-sized block of ice, loosened by the warming sun, broke off and careened down.

Sophie stumbled back. The ice block crashed into the lower part of the serac, shattering into smaller pieces and loosing another shower of icy boulders, before smashing into the route, mere yards from where Sophie crouched. She watched in awe and terror, heart in her throat, as the mountain stilled again, as if nothing had ever happened.

Moments later, Evelyn was by her side. “Are you alright?”

Sophie nodded, speechless. She tried to whisper “thank you,” but knew Evelyn didn’t hear.

“Do you think,” Evelyn continued, pausing for breath, “it’s safe to keep going?”

In spite of herself, Sophie laughed, and Evelyn laughed too. “Never safe,” she managed to say. “But let’s.”

“Want me to lead?”

“No. Want you to keep looking out for me.”

“I can do that,” Evelyn replied.

Hours later they made the summit, and for exactly twenty minutes the sisters were alone on what felt like the top of the world. The views of the surrounding mountains were mostly obscured by a sea of clouds, with only the tallest peaks poking through, but the sky overhead was a piercing blue. The world felt infinite to Sophie—an endless list of adventures sprawled out as far as her eyes could see, so many more mountains to climb than her lifetime would allow.

She wondered if Evelyn was thinking the same thing but couldn’t bring herself to voice the question. The reality was that their climbs together would always be numbered. Evelyn had graduated law school in May and would take the bar at the end of July, just a few days after returning to New York. If she passed, she would no doubt be working for a firm by the end of the year. Sophie had trouble scraping together enough money for Himalayan climbs, even with her sponsors. She wished that every year could be like this, both of them escaping their regular lives to spend most of a summer with each other. But it wasn’t realistic.

“I wish you’d move back to Colorado,” Sophie heard herself say.

Evelyn looked at her, surprised. “You know I want to stay in New York. Besides, you’re not even in Colorado anymore.”

“I know. But you’d be closer, and we’d climb together more often.”

Evelyn’s expression softened. “Maybe one day. I want the best chance for establishing my career that I can get.”

Sophie nodded, but a lump had risen in her throat. She looked up at the distinct sound of crunching snow and heavy breathing that signaled another team about to make the summit.

“Come on,” Evelyn said. “Let’s let someone else have our spot.”

Sophie smiled. “We have another mountain to climb, anyway.”

“That’s right. You’re stuck with me for another two weeks.”

Sophie wished they had more time.