15. Dia

FIFTEEN

It's beenfive days since I moved in with Blaze and Mads. Thankfully, they've either put their sexual adventures on hold…or these walls are soundproof. Because I haven't heard any moaning or grunting coming from their room at night.

Don't get me wrong. I hope they bang each other's brains out every minute of the day. If I were as hot as they are, I know I would. I just don't want to hear it and then have to look them in the eye while we drink our coffee every morning. Plus, I'd be pretty jealous listening to it when it's just me and my vibrator all alone every night. It's unfortunate, to say the least.

I can't even pretend like I don't miss the way Dalton played my body like it was an instrument he'd been mastering his whole life. How he held me like putty in his hands as I willingly gave him things I'd never been able to give anyone else. I want more. But I know what that means. He was very clear last week when he told me that if I wanted his dick again, I need to agree to let him take care of me. I don't exactly know what that entails, but I have a feeling it's more than just making me dinner or folding my laundry. My biggest fear is that he'll want to care for me emotionally.

If that's the case, I'm terrified to give in. It's taken me a long time to build this wall around my heart. And it's done a good job protecting me from being hurt. But if I allow Dalton to break it down completely, will I be able to rebuild it again?

I really don't know.

I put on a good front of being strong and confident, but deep down, I'm still that broken little girl that longed for her parents' affection when they were off blowing every dollar we had and ruining my future before I even had a say. They're a big part of the reason I can't let Dalton in. Because a long time ago, I trusted them, and they left me. Over and over again.

I'd run home after school, proud of the graded papers in my hands, only to find a note saying they'd be gone for a few days. I was maybe seven or eight at the time, sitting in the living room with no TV to watch, hungry and scared that someone would find me there alone and take me away from my parents. They'd come back days later, apologizing for being away so long, but never explaining where they were. I'd forgive them and believe it when they said they'd change, just to have them do it again. As I got older, I knew they were on spending or gambling sprees. I still have no idea where they got the money sometimes, and if I'm honest, I don't even want to think about it. They could've been into any number of illegal or immoral money-making activities.

It took me a handful of rebellious teenage years of not letting anyone besides Mads have a piece of my heart. I thought I was healed when I met Josh and slowly allowed myself to fall for him. By the time he let me know his true colors, telling me he never intended on building a future with me in the cruelest and most brutal way, it was too late. The wound was reopened, and it's been hemorrhaging ever since. So, it isn't an easy deal to make, knowing that Dalton may want more than just the Dia that I keep on the surface. He may want parts of me that are too broken to give.

"Dia," Mads says, entering the kitchen as I sit at the counter sipping my coffee. "These just came for you." She hands me a large crystal vase with at least three dozen red roses.

I'm dumbfounded as I reach out taking it from her. "For me?" I ask. "Are you sure?"

"The card says your name on it," she replies. "Who are they from?"

"I, uhhhh…" I stutter. "I'm not sure." I don't say another word as I leave her alone and run up the stairs to the guest room I'm staying in. I lock the door behind me before moving into the ensuite bathroom and locking that one as well. I lower myself to the floor, setting the vase down in front of me as I rip the card from its holder and remove it from the envelope. Inside, there's a handwritten note.

To my wife,

I miss you. I hope these flowers brighten your day the way thinking of you brightens mine.

Love,

Dalton

Tears fill my eyes at his words. Damn him for this. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be one crazy night of debauchery followed by a quickie annulment. But here I am, sitting on the bathroom floor, crying because nobody has ever bought me flowers before. Nobody has ever made me feel as special as Dalton does.

I can feel my resolve starting to crumble with every day that I'm away from him, which is the exact opposite of what I expected when I agreed to move in with Blaze and Mads. I thought some space would clear my head of the things I've been feeling. But all it's done is leave me wondering what he's doing all day. Is he sitting alone in his apartment? Is he out with friends? Or other women? The thought makes my stomach turn.

I want so badly to believe that he's different from all the other people who have come in and out of my life, but I've been burned so many times that it's hard not to give in to my knee-jerk reactions. I know I need more time away to think about everything. To sort all these new feelings out and make sense of them.

Standing, I take the flowers with me out of the bathroom and place them on the dresser that sits in front of the bedroom window. I decide to remove the card from the holder and shove it into the drawer under my socks, just in case Mads or Blaze come in here. I stand back, taking one last look at the beautiful bouquet. They really did brighten my day.

I unlock and open the door, making my way back to the kitchen where Mads sits like a little detective, waiting for answers. "Well?" she implores.

Shit. I'm still sorting through my own thoughts on this, and I just don't think I'm ready to bring her into it. So, I tell her my very first lie. "They're a well wish from my old boss," I say. "I'm sorry I gave out the address, but he needed to know where to mail my final check." As soon as the words are out, I want to take them back. I've done plenty of avoiding, subject changing, and omitting. But this is the first outright lie I've told Mads about this situation. Actually, it's the first lie I've told Mads, ever.

We've always had that type of friendship that is supportive and non-judgmental. I know if I keep hiding this, the whole thing is going to grow a set of legs and take off on its own, doing irreparable damage to my relationship with my best friend. She's never given me any indication that she wouldn't have my back, no matter what I decide to do with my life. So, what am I really afraid of?

"Mads, I have to tell you?—"

"Hey, ladies!" Blaze says, cutting me off as he walks up the basement stairs. He's shirtless and has a white towel hanging over his shoulder, clearly just finishing a workout in his home gym. Mads turns her head just in time for him to run up behind her, pulling her off the barstool and into his arms.

"Ew!" she squeals. "You're sweaty!"

He peppers her cheeks in kisses as she half-heartedly shoves at him. "You love when I'm sweaty," he says, making her giggle.

As I'm watching them be the most disgustingly cute couple to ever exist, movement at the top of the staircase catches my attention. I look over to see Dalton entering the kitchen and, I shit you not, my jaw drops to the floor. He's shirtless as well, with his short, black gym shorts hiked up his deliciously muscled thighs. His abs are completely on display, leading down to the well-defined V that points directly toward what I know is his long, thick cock. This man's body is the fucking gold standard.

"Hey, Dalton!" Mads says in greeting.

"What's up, Shorty?" he replies to her before turning to me. "Looking good today, Dia." Then, the motherfucker winks and licks his goddamn lips.

Oh, he wants to play? Game. Fucking. On.

I sit up straight. "Nice shorts, Dalton. Do they come in adult sizes?" I quip. "Must be packing a pretty tiny peen if you're able to keep it all contained in those." I squint, looking over the counter at his groin area.

Blaze, who was drinking from his water bottle, almost chokes on it as he laughs. Mads rolls her eyes, patting him on the back while he coughs it up.

He shoots me a cocky grin. "Awww, Wifey. If you want to see my dick, all you have to do is ask. Matter of fact, I bet I could fix that smart mouth of yours by stuffing it full."

"Ooookay!" Blaze yells with a clap as I sit there completely speechless. Neither of us takes our eyes off the other as Dalton is dragged by his arm back down the stairs and I'm left with the mental picture of getting face fucked by my hot-as-sin husband as he tells me what a bad girl I am.

Mads blows out a forced breath. "Too bad you don't like him. Imagine how hot the sex would be with all that tension built up."

Oh, trust me, bestie. I'm imagining, alright.