CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

FINN

The days blur as we get further into hockey season, the time when everything focuses on pucks and goals and hockey sticks, but this year, Noah is beside everything. He is the warm body wrapped around me at night, one I did not realize I needed, but now cannot be without.

One year. One glorious year. One year of having Noah beside me. One year of seeing his green eyes land on me when I wake up, and one year of having him pressed against me on buses and jets. One year of claiming his lips as mine, and the joy swelling through me as I make him laugh. One year.

I don't want to waste a second; we are always together.

We don't walk from the bus to the hotel or arena when we could be walking holding hands, and we don't go to a restaurant without my arm flung around his shoulders, even as we eat.

Because I'm greedy. I need to savor every moment with him, because in the future, they will be memories, and I will be alone in my apartment and will need them to get through every day.

I've never been in a relationship before. I am an expert at hockey, not life. But then, I'd never met Noah before. I never felt the need to take someone to fancy restaurants, to watch candlelight flicker over an attractive face, and to learn everything about a person's life .

Hookups are not conducive to learning about someone's childhood pet or favorite vacation spot. Dinners are, as is wandering the city, side by side.

Now we're wandering to find a tailor, because we're so going to look fancy for Isaiah's wedding.

"Are you sure a tux is required?" Noah asks.

"Of course."

"Seems overkill."

"Hah. We wear suits at work. We're totally all going to wear tuxes to the wedding."

Nervousness flits over Noah's face.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll help you get your cufflinks on."

His eyes widen. "I'm going to need those too!"

"You can borrow some of mine."

The panic leaves his gaze, and I smile at him. "There are some benefits of being with a guy, huh?"

He gives an awkward laugh, and I swallow back a sigh. I know Noah is attracted to me, but I also know it's out of convenience. When we're no longer married, will he eagerly go back to a woman? He doesn't like the attention of the press, and we have a lot of attention.

Paparazzi realize we are a dependable fixture. Our pictures appear on sports blogs and LGBT blogs and finally all sorts of blogs. We have a scrapbook of our relationship, spread over blogs and articles, though it mostly consists of imperfectly lit and framed snaps. I won't say unflattering, because Noah always looks amazing, because he is Noah.

We are the biggest sports couple in the country, thanks to Tanaka' s elevation of us. I am famous, and so is he.

Our game is also good. Everything in life is perfect, except the awareness that this is limited. The rest of this year will be the highpoint of my life, and I focus on everything good, the sweetness of Noah's lips, the feel of his muscular body against mine, knowing we are throttling toward the end.

I travel often, and I have no doubt that Boston is the most perfect city in the world. It has an ocean and a river, and historic townhouses, contemporary skyrises, and groomed parks in between.

I love it.

Noah and I explore the city together when we are not playing hockey, not training for playing hockey, and not in each other's arms.

Sometimes I think I should talk to Noah about having more time together. About stretching this marriage as far as we can imagine into the future, to a time when hockey won't want anything from us, when our bodies will have filled out and our muscles will have slackened, when we can count the creases in our faces, when we won't be able to count the gray in our hair, because we will have so much.

But most of all I want Noah to be happy. He is agreeable, and I don't want him to make me promises he does not want to keep.

And so I am silent. Fortunately, I have Noah's lips to drown myself in and the hot seed from his cock which I am ever more skilled at drawing out.

I am happy.

But I want him to be free .

That's why I decide I need to pay a visit to good old dad. More specifically, I need some lawyerly advice.