Chapter 10: Briar

brIAR

Wednesday's classes fly by. Before I know it, it's time to work with Sebastian Grimm for Western Civ participation. Malachi's held up by another student, so I wander to the third floor by myself.

I pause for a moment at the top of the stairs to take time to compose myself.

Spending every afternoon with the Grimm brothers isn't helping my interest in them. Instead, I find myself thinking about them all the time, especially as I get to know them better during our one-on-one work.

I need to get a handle on my ridiculous infatuation with them. They're professors and I'm a student. Nothing will ever happen between us. I'm also not deluded enough to think they have the same lowkey obsession with me as I do them.

Shaking my head at my preoccupied thoughts, I head toward Malachi's and Xander's office. Sebastian's office is 310, which should be right next to Xander's. Both Malachi's and Xander's offices are dark. Sebastian's office has the light on, and the door cracked. As I get closer, I can hear music playing.

I check my phone to make sure I'm here at the right time before knocking. I hear a muffled, "Shit." The music abruptly turns off, but not before I hear the singer talking about being baptized between a woman's thighs until it hurts.

Fucking hell. I do not need the image of Sebastian Grimm between my thighs, strong hips wedged against my core. I don't need to be thinking about the feel of his weight pressing me down or what exactly he's doing to find salvation between my legs.

"Come in!" Sebastian yells from inside his office. My cheeks are flaming with the X-rated thoughts of him between my thighs. I will the blood to leave my face before I push his well-worn wooden door open.

His office smells like him, a mix of citrus and spice. I don't notice it as much during class, but in his space, it's everywhere. The three Grimm brothers all smell different. Yet, they all smell like coming home.

Sebastian's office is a similar size and layout to Xander's. Instead of black chairs, Sebastian has bright green armchairs facing his large oak desk. He also has two sizable windows letting in enough sunlight he doesn't need lamps. The shelves that line his office aren't filled with books. Instead, they're covered in computers and parts. Tangles of wires, collections of circuit boards, and old computers dominate his office shelves.

While I'm gawking at the miscellaneous computers and parts, Sebastian snags my attention. "Sorry about the music. I lost track of time jamming out," he says sheepishly. His mouth is tipped up on one side in an apologetic smile.

"No worries, Professor," I respond with a small smile of my own, hoping my cheeks are back to a regular color. I don't mind his music, just the thoughts it conjures.

"Please have a seat." Sebastian points to the chairs in front of his desk. "And you can just call me Sebastian or Bastian. I'm not big on being formal. That's why I don't wear monkey suits like Kai," he informs me with a chuckle. Unlike in class, Sebastian is wearing just a T-shirt, no leather jacket. His shoulders look even broader in his deep blue shirt. The thin material of his tee gives me a glimpse of defined pecs and abs.

"Okay, Professor Sebastian."

His face splits into a grin at my response, eyes curving into crescents.

It's the first genuine smile I've seen from him, and it's breathtaking. Sebastian's entire face transforms with his smile. The shadows in his eyes lift, making him look as carefree as he tries to pretend he is. I hadn't even realized his eyes were haunted with the same darkness mine are until it faded for a moment. It makes me wonder what he's hiding under his lighthearted jokester exterior.

"Just Sebastian, Briar. Or, even better, Bastian."

"Oh, okay," I say, lamely. It feels weird to call him Sebastian to his face, even though I've stopped referring to any of the Grimm brothers by Professor in my head.

Brushing a few stray golden strands of hair out of his eyes, Sebastian gives me another bright smile before turning to his computer for a moment. "Any questions before we start?"

"Why all the computer parts?" I blurt without thought. Christ. My brain-to-mouth filter needs work. Usually, I don't speak without thinking. Being around the Grimms has apparently fried my brain.

"Believe it or not, teaching history isn't my passion." Sebastian gives me a wry smile. "Working with computers, tinkering with circuitry, and repairing busted machines is. I love the creativity and problem solving of building and repairing computers."

"Why are you a professor, then?" I immediately regret my question when a haunted look crosses his face. It feels like the warmth is sucked out of the room as his expression shutters.

"Teaching is more befitting of the Wy—Grimm family name than working with computers, according to my parents." I notice him stumble with his last name, but he continues before I have a chance to ask about it. "Enough about me. What do you want to do after WHU?"

"I want to be an architect."

Sebastian's brows furrow at that. "But WHU doesn't have an architecture major."

"Yeah," I whisper, looking down. I try to swallow the lump forming in my throat at yet another way Patrick has derailed my future. I can get a master's degree in architecture. However, it's a longer and harder route than going to a school with a combined program. Attending WHU has set back my professional goals by years.

Glancing up, I see Sebastian's eyes swimming with understanding. He knows what it's like to change the trajectory of your life at the whims of family. I just hope he doesn't dig any deeper into why I'm doing what my stepfather wants. That's a secret that's better off buried.

With a last lingering look at me, Sebastian leans back in his chair. He crosses his arms behind him, interlocking his fingers behind his head. The position makes his impressive biceps bulge. My eyes stay on his upper arms until he speaks, his voice holding a trace of amusement. "We're just gonna chat about history for your participation points. You cool with that?"

From the self-satisfied smirk on his face, he definitely caught me staring. My face heats, but I know I'm not the only student to ogle him.

"Yep." Both his and Malachi's alternative participation assignments seem stupidly easy. I'm so good with that. I don't need more added to my already overflowing plate.

"Tell me what you know about Rome."

I laugh softly, a brief grin crossing my face. "That's not going to fit into an hour. My mom was obsessed with Roman history, so I know quite a bit." I wonder if thoughts of my mom will ever stop being bittersweet. Even the good times hurt to remember.

"Cool! Tell me your top three favorite facts about Rome, and I'll tell you mine," he says, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly. It pulls me out of my somber thoughts.

"Hmm, that's a hard one. I'll go with Caesar liked to skin his enemies alive. Gladiator movies get the thumb up or down wrong. Thumbs up means kill, and down means let the guy live. And early Rome was just dudes, so they had to steal their women."

"I like your style, Wylder," Sebastian remarks, looking impressed. "Gruesome facts are always fun facts. Remind me to tell you about my animal fun facts some time. Hyenas are wild, man."

He pauses and tilts his head in thought. Before he starts speaking, Sebastian rubs his hands together and grins, looking pleased with whatever he's about to tell me. "Mine are Romans were addicted to anchovy guts. MSG is a hell of a drug. The Praetorian Guards were even worse at their jobs than weather people. So many murdered emperors, so little protection. And Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator."

I laugh at his commentary on his facts. I don't stop laughing for the entire hour. Sebastian has a way with history. He expertly combines facts with funny anecdotes to craft a captivating story that pulls you in.

Sitting here, laughing with him, I can almost forget he's my professor. He seems just like any twentysomething guy—if the average guy were incredibly muscular, smart, and funny.

Why can't the dipshits in my classes be more like him? Or any of the Grimm brothers, really. Even Xander is growing on me, with his calming presence.

I'm not the type to be hyper focused on boys. Yet, something about all three of the Grimms has me losing my common sense and wishing things were different. That they weren't my professors. That I didn't have to hide so much about myself. That I had a real future, instead of just an expiration date.

No amount of wishing is going to change anything. I learned that lesson a long time ago.

I look at the clock and let out a sigh. "Guess it's time for me to head out."

A look of disappointment quickly flashes across Sebastian's face. "You can hang out longer if you want. I'll be here for a while."

It's kind of him to offer. I'm sure he can tell I'm dragging my feet about leaving, but I'm not going to waste any more of his time. Spending two hours a week with me out of class is more than I should even expect.

"Thanks. I've gotta get home, though." The lie tastes bitter in my mouth as I pack up my stuff. I'd rather be anywhere other than at the house with Patrick. I give Sebastian one last smile before heading out the door.

Every time I have to leave one of the Grimm brothers, it feels like my heart is shredding in my chest. That's probably a sign I need to spend less time with them, not more. But I'm not strong enough to do that.

I feel like I'm on a train hurtling toward a blown-out bridge. I know my infatuation with the Grimms isn't going to end well. Still, I'm powerless to do anything other than hang on for the ride. I'll make the best of the time I have, while desperately hoping everything doesn't go up in flames.