36. Chapter 36

36

T here are days when I wish I had died in the fire that took Laia and Grams. Things would have been much easier; I wouldn't have murdered countless people, even if they deserved it. But at the same time, Luna wouldn't have survived her ex, and she would never have become obsessed with Jace. Then, she never would have hurt Blake.

Blake wouldn't have ended up in the hospital again if it weren't for us. And I'm not sure how Jace can act as if nothing happened. The first night we were here, he could barely look at her until I convinced him to get into bed with us.

Now, suddenly, it's Jace and Blake. As it should be. I wasn't strong enough to break the damn zip ties, but she was. How fucking worthless am I?

I'm supposed to be a hitman who hunts down people for hire, and that somehow ended up with me protecting a mafia princess that I fell in love with. But how is she supposed to love someone who can't even protect her? Jace saved her multiple times on their road trip. And all I've done is fuck her like a whore and belittle her .

But how am I supposed to let her go? She's the only thing that makes sense in this fucked up world. And now we just have to take her home, act as if she hadn't just barged her way in.

Even the thought of taking her home makes my blood boil. Her home isn't with her father and shit family, it's with Jace and me. But how am I supposed to convince her that she's meant to stay with us?

Rolling my neck, I groan as it cracks. Blake sleeps in the backseat of the car as we drive to some private jet Dimitri has. Not that I should be surprised—he's rich and powerful, of course he would have a jet.

"You're thinking awfully hard over there," Jace mumbles.

I don't say anything. He wouldn't understand. I know he loves her too, but he doesn't hold guilt like I do.

"Come on, what's going on in that big brain of yours?" he asks, glancing in the rearview mirror.

"I think you should take her back to her family, I'll just head home."

I hadn't thought about it until the words left my mouth. But the more I think about it, the more I need to distance myself from her. She's got herself so far wrapped around my brain I can't think straight.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jace growls, turning into a mini airport.

"You heard me," I mutter under my breath. Turning my head towards the window, I don't look at my best friend. Jace has a way of convincing people to do things, and I won't fall victim to it.

"Are you even going to think about this or even talk to her about it?" he asks.

"No, she gets no say in this." I shake my head.

"I think you're making a mistake," Jace says, driving across the airstrip towards the jet. But I can't see it as I'm making a mistake. Blake is better off with Jace. It would be better if I'm no longer in the picture. Sooner or later, they both will see that.

"Just come with us to her family," Jace finally says, pulling up a few yards from the jet. Glancing behind me, I search over Blake, watching her shoulders move as she breathes. Her brown hair tied back, her hood down, no longer hiding herself. From the first time she walked in that cabin, she was scared, but a fiery cat, and now she's finding herself again.

"Fine," I growled. "I'll make sure she gets back safely and then I'll leave then." I don't mention that I won't let Jace come with me. He can stay with her there and protect her.

Shoving my way out of the car, I don't look back before heading towards the plane stairs. Climbing them, I barely notice the two pilots, as I make my way inside. My eyes zero in on the small bar. I might not be one to drink, but today seems like a good day to start.

I need to get Blake out of my mind.

A noise jerks me awake, finding myself surrounded by nothing but darkness. Only the small fireplace produces any kind of light. Reaching forward, I try to rub my forehead, but my hands don't move, let alone my arms. Glancing down, I find my hands tied behind my back.

"Laia, Grams?" I call out. I strain my ears, listening for any movement, any sound, but nothing happens. Only the popping of the fireplace.

Fear fills my chest as I twist and yank against the restraint. Nothing works.

"Should've taken the deal," that familiar voice fills my head again. I watch as someone steps into the living room, the gut wrenching hits me as I look at the man that sold our unit out.

My body jerks, twisting as I try to ring his neck. They're all dead because of him. I promised Jace I would kill him if he ever showed his face again.

Joe stalks into the living room, a devilish smile planted on his face. I want to smack that look right off his ugly mug. And I swear I will the moment my hands are free.

"You really should have taken the deal." He laughs, pulling on a rope I hadn't noticed in his hand. I watch as a kicking body comes into view.

Only instead of Laia, my little sister, it's Blake.

"No," I force out. My throat closes, fighting harder to get out.

"Please," I beg. "Don't, take me, please, don't hurt her!" I yell, thrashing against the chair.

Joe doesn't listen. He pulls her across the floor leading towards the fireplace. I can't reach her; I can't reach any of them. Memories of Laia and Grams fill my head, only they're no longer the ones dying in the fire. It's going to be Blake, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

"NO!" I scream as Joe drenches Blake in whiskey. I thrash harder against the restraints, tipping the chair over. The air gets knocked from my lungs. Joe glances over at me, pulling a cigarette from his pocket.

"Should've taken the fucking deal!" Joe barks, laughing as he flicks his ashes towards Blake. I shake my head, tears falling down my cheek as he flicks the cigarette down. Blakes body catches on fire, only she doesn't scream.

She never screams.

My eyes fly open as someone rips my mask off. My hands grip their wrist, twisting before I realize it's Blake. Seeing her alive, standing in front of me with my own two eyes sends relief through my body.

Glancing over, I find Jace watching me carefully, as if I would snap. He's seen me after my nightmares, and I'm usually ready to murder anyone in sight.

But one look at Blake and I just want to wrap my arms around her and beg her to never leave.

Shaking my head, I shove Blake away, getting up from the seat on the jet. My body aches, and I feel every scar on my body as if I'm on fire again.

"Ryker," Jace calls out. Ignoring him, I slide the door of the back room closed. Of course, Dimitri would have a fucking room on this stupid jet. Though I know that's not why I'm upset. I might not be as rich as that fucker, but I could never work again in my life and be fine.

Blake is my problem.

I love her so much that I'm not sure I can let her go.

I drank two glasses of whiskey before the plane even took off. Minutes later, I passed out and a fucking nightmare had to weasel its way in.

The door slides open and Blake steps through before closing it behind her back.

"Leave, Blake, I don't really want company," I lie. I don't want her to leave and if it's her company, I crave it.

She shakes her head, stepping forward. I hold my breath as she presses her palm against my cheek. Holding my eye, she swings her leg over, straddling me. Gently tracing my lips with her finger, a tremor of arousal runs through me. My inner muscles clench, trying to think of anything but my cock getting hard. But with Blake sitting on me wearing nothing but a thin pair of leggings and a shirt that's tighter than normal, I can barely control myself.

"Blake," I say, my voice raspy and filled with need.

The pure desire I have inside for this girl, the all-consuming obsession that continues to grow. It's toxic, but so fucking good. I don't just want her sexually. It might have started out that way, but now, I want to hold her demons in my hands. I want to crush those that hurt her.

The fight inside to let her go, to save her the trouble of anyone else from our past coming to hurt her becomes smaller and smaller every time she's near me.

"It was you this time," I mumble against her finger.

Blake cocks her head to the side, waiting for me to explain further.

I swallow hard. "The fire that took Laia and Grams. They weren't there this time; it was you instead. And I couldn't save you. I was tied down again. I…" Trailing off, I bite my tongue, hating the emotions that get trapped in my throat. "Luna almost killed you and I couldn't do anything about it. It was like I was watching them die all over again, only this time it was you I was watching," my voice cracks.

"I can't lose you." My forehead drops to her chest, my arms wrapping around her waist. I'm so tired of fighting against the emotions that tell me she's better off, and that Blake is the only one for me.

"I'm not going anywhere," she says, her voice so rough and raspy, I barely catch it.

My head snaps up, not believing the words and sure as shit not believing they came from her.

"Pet…"

She smiles, her fingers brushing the side of my hair before gripping the back of my head. "Please tell me I didn't just imagine you speaking. Please tell me it's real."

She doesn't say anything, the disappointment creeping in. Until she leans forward, pressing her lips against mine. "I'm here, Ryker. I'm alive."

I hear her loud and clear this time. The smile stretching across my lips can't get any wider before I slam my lips against hers. Needing to feel her under me, around me, in my soul. Her mouth opens as my tongue demands entry. Blake's fingers pull hard on my hair, thrusting her tits against my chest, her hips slowly making circles against my cock .

Standing up, I twist Blake around, her back hitting the bed. The last thing I want to do is to stop kissing her, but I want her naked. And I can't think further than that.

"Fuck," I breath out, standing back. Her hands drop above her head, lying there. "I want to see you," I growl out. Grabbing the top of her leggings I rip them down her body, causing her to hiss when the fabric hits her thigh. Dropping to my knees, Blake stares at me as I carefully tear the tape off the bandage. She bites down on her lip, her legs trembling as I press a single kiss below the wound.

"Take your shirt off," I order.

Blake lays back, slipping her shirt and bra off. I barely control myself to not roll her over and fuck her ass harder than I've fucked it before. But I can't. I won't fuck her like she means nothing to me. Because she's everything.

Lifting her leg, I press a kiss against the sole of her foot, sliding my tongue down to her toes. Blake smiles down at me, telling me she's ticklish. Biting down on one of her toes, she jerks back. Grabbing her ankle, I continue kissing up her leg, licking along the scars that litter her calf and thigh.

I reach her pubic bone and I know where Blake wants me when she tries to lift her hips up.

"Nuh uh," I tell her climbing above her, reminding myself to be careful of her leg and ribs. My tongue runs along her stomach, over her tits and nipples until I reach her throat. "You're the only thing in this world that makes sense to me."

Blake rolls her lips together, and reaching around, her fingers pull up on the bottom of my shirt. Leaning back, I rip my shirt over my head. I go to lean forward when she shakes her head, pointing to my pants.

Getting to my feet, I unbutton my pants, before dragging them and my boxer briefs down. My cock springs free, throbbing painfully. I meet her eyes, and a pinch of guilt hits me. Her eyes are swollen, one worse than the other.

Blake reaches forward, grabbing my wrist and pulling me down between her legs. I barely catch myself before I fall on top of her.

"I don't want to hurt you," I mumble .

She doesn't say anything, reaching between our bodies before grabbing the base of my cock. I hiss as her hand makes contact. While my mind tells me to stop this, my body doesn't care. Pressing forward, Blake guides me to her opening, pushing me inside.

Nothing but hot, wet flesh wraps around my cock. I groan, pushing deeper into her until my hips stop against hers.

"I can't believe you're real," I mutter. Pulling back, I withdraw until just my tip stays in her cunt before I slam forward. Her tits jiggle from the force, her eyes widening as her nails dig into my shoulder. Waves of heat roll through me as I repeat the motion over again. Fucking her not as hard as I want, but enough that the craving stays at bay.

"Trakhni menya sil'neye, papochka," she moans.

Fuck, I might just cum from her talking. And Blake speaking in Russian is hotter than it should be.

"Fuck, tell me, tell me, what did you say…" I groan, slowing down.

Blake moans, grabs the back of my head and pulls me down so her mouth is against my ear. "I said… Fuck me harder, Daddy. "

I can't hold back. Slipping out, I flip her onto her stomach. Pulling her hips back, I line my cock up with her pussy before slamming home. Blake lets out a cry and I relish in hearing her finally make sounds. Even if she would have told me I fuck like shit, at least she would be saying something.

The harder I fuck her, the more she cries out, her voice so raspy someone would mistake that she smokes packs of cigarette a day.

Reaching around, my finger rubs circles around her clit. Her cunt pulses around my cock, clenching, and the more I pound into her, the more she strangles my dick.

"Remember what I want from you?" I ask, pulling out of her and flipping us around so she's on top. Thrusting my cock back into her, Blake digs her nails into my chest nodding.

"Be a good girl and scream for me," I whisper twisting her hands behind her back, and her chest slams against mine. Using one hand, I keep her hands firmly in place while my other grips the back of her head, yanking her head back. Blake's moans turn into silent pleas.

"Pet, I won't ask again," I growl.

Blakes inner muscles start to spasm around me, milking my cock as if it were her damn job. Blake's eyes drop to mine, her lips tilting up in a smirk. I snap my hips up, pinching her clit.

"Daddy!" Blake cries out. Unable to hold back any longer, I explode inside her, my vision blurring as I empty every last drop.

Letting Blake go, she lays across my chest, breathing heavy in my ear. Holding her against me, I kiss the side of her head.

I'm done fighting against the voice in my head, telling me she's better off without me.

I just hope Blake's ready for the crazed obsession I have with her.