11. Chapter 11

11

W hat. The. Fuck. Just. Happened.

Blake kissed me . She kissed me. And then I kissed her back. I couldn't stop myself. Sure, at first I was a little shocked. I mean, Blake was willing to touch me let alone kiss me. And it was so random. One moment she's asleep and then the next she's kissing me.

Fuck I can still taste her, and I want more. I want so much more. I don't think she realizes what kind of door she just opened, and honestly neither do I.

So while Blake runs off, I'm still stuck on the couch, watching the bedroom door, wanting her to come back out here. But I know why she ran. That was her first kiss. She had been timid, unsure of herself, but that's okay. This won't be the last time we are going to kiss if I have my way. I'm never going to stop.

I can't stop. Not with her. She's awoken something inside me, something dark that I'm not sure I can stop.

"Oh, hey!" Luna opens the front door. Fuck, I hadn't even been paying attention to anything around us. That's what Blake must have heard .

"Hi," I mutter. Leaning forward, I try to hide the erection that I got from just kissing Blake. I can't remember the last time I got hard from just kissing a girl. Sure I got one earlier from Blake, but kissing? This was a whole new ballgame.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Luna teases, walking into the kitchen.

Not a ghost, just the girl I kissed, and now I'm thinking about shoving her against the wall and kissing up and down her body before I fuck her silly.

Though I don't say that. Not to Luna at least. I know she's hurt that I don't reciprocate the same feelings.

"Jace?" Luna questions when I fail to say anything.

"I'm good," I tell her, getting to my feet. "How was the store?" I ask, needing anything to distract myself from marching into that bathroom and demanding she kiss me again.

Luna looks up, looking puzzled before shaking her head. "It was good. I got a few things that you two can take on your road trip. I mean, I don't know where you guys are going."

"And you won't know, Luna." My voice is stern. The only ones who know where we are going are Ryker and myself. And Ryker is already at the cabin, hopefully stocking it for a while. By the time we arrive, it'll be winter. I'm not sure how Blake will handle that.

"I—I wasn't trying to ask, that wasn't my intention," Luna mumbles. I watch as she fumbles around putting the groceries away. "Anyway, has she come out?"

"Yeah, she was out right up until you got back," I say, glancing back at the bedroom door.

"She doesn't like me."

"Blake doesn't like many people. She stabbed me twice, remember?" I smile at the memory. Not something I would normally smile about, but I like the wild side of Blake. It almost became three times when I woke her up from her nap. She was twitching and I remember all too well what nightmares look like on the outside. It was confirmed when her eyes snapped open, and her fingers grabbed those scissors in her pocket. Fortunately for myself, I'm learning what makes her tick. Being touched is at the top, especially when she's stuck in her head. Or when she has a nightmare and is lost .

"Yeah, but it's different. She doesn't like you because you're a guy. I see the look in her eye. She's scared, but she also wants to trust you. You stopped her from stabbing me, and you did it with your words. She doesn't like me because I'm a threat to her."

"A thr—"

"I'm not going to hurt her, Jace. I just mean I've been there. You've proven you won't hurt her, I don't know how, but you have. She doesn't like me because I'm new, and… Well, I made that stupid comment yesterday. She has some type of feelings for you, even though she tries to hide it. And before you ask how I know this, I've been her before. I've been broken and beaten down, trusting someone and wishing they would notice the emotions in my eyes." Luna sighs.

I realize she's talking about Ryker and I saving her from her ex and that she has feelings for me. I'm the one she wishes would notice the feelings in her eyes. And now that she's telling me, I see it. The longing, the wanting there to be something between us.

"Luna, I never…" I'm not sure what to say. I never gave her the impression that I wanted something more. I was just trying to be the nice one. Ryker is the douchebag, and sometimes our clients just need someone that will be nice to them.

"You didn't, but it was me thinking you might want something. But I know you don't, and honestly, I got over you a long time ago. Just seeing you with someone else, even if you're not like that, not yet at least... It brought some feelings that I haven't dealt with just yet. But that's okay. I'm okay. But that girl in there, she's not. She's scared and hurting. And, from the kiss you both had before I walked in…" Smirking, she points to the camera in the corner of the living room. Well, fuck me, I didn't think she would look at them while we were here. "She ran, not just because I got back, but because she realized she's okay with you touching her and that scares her. So, either go in there and tell her how you feel or show her. Either way, I'll make sure I wear some earplugs tonight." Luna laughs. Walking around the island, I drag her into me.

"I'm glad we didn't kill you." I chuckle .

"Don't worry, buddy, me too." She sighs, tapping my back, and I release her. "Go," she says, handing me a few bags of candy.

Smiling down at her, I take the candy and head towards the bedroom. I'm not sure how this is going to go over, but I sure as fuck hope in the end I can kiss her again. Even if that's all she wants from me. I'll make it the best fucking kiss.

I knock on the bathroom door, shifting on my feet. I'm usually not the shy one uncertain about my actions, but I also don't want to spook Blake. I'm not sure how Luna got all the information from just watching Blake yesterday, but I sure fucking hope she's right.

"Can we talk?" I swallow the lump in my throat. "Blake, I'm—please just come out," I beg. Me, a damn murderer begging a girl who kisses sloppily. Who would've thought?

I'm only met with silence. Which does not soothe my ego. In fact, I'm getting more annoyed as the seconds pass.

"Blake, I'll ask one more time for you to open this door. It doesn't lock, and you know for a fa—" The door swings open and a very angry Blake stands there, arms crossed over her chest, death glare in perfect place on her face.

"Sunshine," I start, only to stop. Because now that she's here, standing in front of me, all I can think about is touching her, kissing her, and wanting nothing more than to feel her skin against mine .

Rolling her eyes, Blake steps around me, moving to the bed.

"Blake, we need to talk." I sigh, turning around.

Blake shakes her head, climbing into the bed.

"You don't get to do that. You might get away with ignoring your family because you're mute, but not me," I growl, stepping towards the bed. Shy Blake must have left the building because she rolls her eyes once more, shakes her head, and pulls the blanket up to her chin, glaring at me.

"Fine, I'll do the talking and you can shake your head or nod."

Of course, Blake shakes her head at me.

"That was your first kiss," I tell her, stepping even closer.

She takes her sweet time before she nods, pressing her lips together.

"You're beginning to trust me." Another step.

This time it took her even longer, glancing everywhere but at me. Finally, a quick curt nod, refusing to look at me.

"Luna says you're starting to have feelings for me," I mutter, pressing a knee against the bed. Blake snaps her head towards me at the mention of Luna's name, and if I didn't know better, I'd say she was jealous. "Is it true?"

Blake bites her bottom lip, and my restraint, which I've barely been holding onto, snaps. I'm bending over Blake, my hands on either side of her face.

"Do you want to kiss me again?" I whisper, finding myself, a man who never prays, praying she does. I worry she's going to tell me no, that she's going to end up hating me because I'm being more forceful than I've been with her so far.

"Just say the word, Sunshine," I mumble, holding my breath.

Blake searches my eyes, slowly raises her hand, and I think she's going to slap me. Only she doesn't, her hand faintly touches the back of my bun, slowly pulling the hair tie out. My hair fans around my face. I open my mouth to question her, when she presses her palm against my cheek, her thumb running against my skin. Closing my eyes, I lean into her touch. I never would've thought I was desperate for physical touch, but I'm aching for hers.

But all of that vanishes when she slides her other hand around the back of my head and presses faintly down. Her lips part slightly, and I take that as a yes. My tongue pokes out, licking her lips before I press them against hers. I groan low in my throat and Blake eases her fingers into the back of my hair, pulling.

Deepening the kiss, I savor the flavor, chocolate, and all Blake. I lick along her tongue; she's slowly gaining confidence. It does nothing to help control my hard-on. I'm scared she's going to notice and freak out. I won't fuck her; I need her to know that. I want to, but I won't. Not until I have her full trust.

Breaking away, I need to tell her all this. But Blake has other plans. She grips the back of my head, forcing my lips back down. Not that I fight her, not at all. Blake wraps around my brain, clawing herself inside me, refusing to let me breathe without her.

Her tongue intertwines with mine, and I know she feels me against her now. Her hands leave my face, sliding down my neck towards my back. I should stop this, it's getting too hot and heavy, and the need to rut into her becomes overwhelming.

Breaking away once again, I hold my form, refusing to let her drag me back down.

"Blake…" I moan. I already know I'm going to regret this before I say it, but I need to say it. "We have to stop."

Just like I thought, Blake freezes, her hands stilling against my back.

"Don't do that, Sunshine, don't," I tell her. Reaching around I cup her cheek. "I would spend all day kissing you, but I don't want to take advantage of you."

Blake nods, but I can see the sadness there. I hate that look and never want to see it again.

"Baby steps, Sunshine, let's take baby steps, okay?" I ask, cocking my head to the side.

She smiles shyly at me, nodding her head. Pressing my lips against her forehead, rolling to the side, I prop myself up on my arm. "Think you can stay in bed and cuddle with me?" I ask, wiggling my brows.

Blake rolls her eyes but keeps smiling.

"I'll let you be the big spoon if you want."

Blake gives a silent laugh, pulling the covers up over her shoulder. When I don't move, she raises a brow and wiggles her finger around .

"Great, I've never been the small spoon before." I chuckle. Turning around, I ease myself down, holding my breath until her dainty arm wraps around my waist. Sliding my hand down, I grab her wrist pulling it up until her palm lays against my chest. "This okay?" I ask.

Blake presses her forehead against the middle of my back, and moments later I feel her nod against me. Smiling into the darkening room, I tap her hand once, hoping she understands the words I want to say but don't understand yet.

"Go to sleep, Sunshine, I'll protect you," I whisper.

It doesn't take long before I feel her relax against me, her breathing warming my back.

I'm not sure when things changed inside for her when they became more mental than physical. But whatever happens, I'll do whatever it takes to make her trust me. I'll kill anyone who dares to touch her. Blake will become human again. She won't be this walking shell forever. She'll learn that I'll bury anyone for her. All she has to do is say the word.

"She still asleep?" Luna asks the next morning.

"Yeah," I mumble sleepily. I barely slept, worried that if I did, Blake would freak out when she found herself wrapped around me. Or I would wake up and she would be hiding in the bathroom again. Every time I dozed off, I would jerk awake, my heart beating too fast for my liking. Only to calm down when I felt her still up against my back. Which is where she slept the entire night .

"Good, I'm glad." She smiles, holding out a steamy cup of coffee.

"Thank you," I mutter. Gulping most of it down while standing there, I groan. Nothing better than a hot cup of coffee.

"When are you guys heading out?"

"Soon, I don't want to stay too long." Leaning back against the counter, I continue to sip on my coffee.

"I can make some breakfast before you guys head out. I'm sure both of you are hungry after going to bed early."

Peeking over my coffee at her, I open my mouth to say something but stop when Blake slowly opens the door, stepping out into the living room.

Her eyes aren't fully open, as she rubs them, her bottom lip sticking out a bit. I can't take my eyes off her, not for a second. Knowing I've had my lips on hers, that she is comfortable enough to sleep in bed with me all night.

Blake stops the moment she realizes that Luna and I are both staring at her.

"Morning." I smile, sipping the rest of my coffee.

Blake glances between Luna and me before her eyes finally settle on mine.

"Pancakes or waffles?" I ask before she can crawl back into her shell. I can already tell that look in her eyes. She wants to run again.

"I can wait here all day, Sunshine." I smile.

Blake narrows her eyes at me before holding up two fingers.

"Waffles," I say, cocking my head to the side. She smiles and nods her head. "How do you say waffles?" I ask.

Blake watches me for a second before she shows me. Luna peeks over from the fridge the entire time. But I pay no mind, I keep my entire focus on Blake. Not that it's hard. Blake holds all my focus, day and night.

"Wonderful, now waffles and eggs?" I ask, pouring more coffee into my cup. Blake makes a disgusted face. Chuckling, I say, "Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one. I can't stand eggs."

"I'm going to pack some clothes for you guys," Luna announces before leaving .

"Take a seat," I order. Thankfully, Blake doesn't fight me and listens. She sits down as I start making another cup of coffee before sliding it over to her. Along with the small bowl of sugar and the creamer from the fridge.

Blake carefully pours more sugar than coffee and just an equal amount of creamer. "Want some more coffee with that?" I ask, pulling a pan out.

Blake smirks and just to fuck with me I swear, she takes a large drink. Setting the cup down, she smiles sweetly at me, and I swear I'm one moment from pulling her into me and having my way with her.

Turning back, I begin making food, doing my best to not mess it up knowing Blake is watching me the entire time. I'm not usually the one to cook. Ryker does most of the cooking back home.

Placing two waffles down on her plate, I slide it over with the syrup from the fridge.

"How's your shoulder feeling?" I ask, shoving a forkful of food into my mouth.

Blake finishes chewing, glancing down at her shoulder before looking up. She moves her hand, trying to communicate with me. I swallow before asking, "Hurts just a little bit?"

Blake nods, pointing towards me.

"I'm okay. I'm used to pain, it's keeping me on my toes," I lie. My body aches, and I can't wait until we arrive in Alaska so I can lay in my bed and sleep for a week.

Frowning, she shakes her head. She knows I'm lying but doesn't comment. Both of us finish our coffee and breakfast in silence. Once we're both done, I grab our plates. I wash and set everything on the counter to dry.

"We need to get going soon, so go shower and I'll lay some clothes outside the bathroom," I order her.

Blake blinks at me, biting her lip and I can't take it anymore.

"Come here," I say, my voice low and in need.

Blake shakes her head and continues to bite on her lip. She knows exactly what she's doing .

"Blake, I'm not repeating myself, do it," I cross my arms over my chest. My hair fans around my face, and I know I look intimidating. "Blake…" My voice is serious and holds no room for argument.

Finally, turtle slow, Blake gets to her feet, tiptoeing until she's right in front of me.

Her hands stay fisted at her side, being in fight-or-flight mode. Soon she'll learn I'm not the scary one, and that she has nothing to worry about with me.

"I'm going to kiss you," I warn her, stepping forward. Blake's eyes flicker around the room, second-guessing if she should move as well, but doesn't. Her eyes bounce to the side, waiting for Luna to come out any second.

"Tell me no if you don't want me to."

I might not like the idea; I don't want her to tell me no. But if she even moves her hands, I'll back off. I might want to push Blake but not into the darkness she keeps inside herself.

But Blake doesn't shake her head, doesn't push me away. Her lips part, and her eyes drop down to my lips. That's enough of an answer for me. My arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer against my body. Blake's eyes widen, her hands gripping my bicep.

"Last chance," I whisper.

The slight nod and I move my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head before my lips cover hers. A groan escapes my throat, as my hand tugs on her hair, needing her closer. I want this to last forever, to run away and never let her out of my sight.

Swiping my tongue against hers, Blake squeezes my arm and digs her nails into my skin. I groan again, my cock hardening against my jeans. If I don't end this soon, I'm going to be coming in my pants. And that's one embarrassing act I refuse to do.

Breaking away, I rest my forehead against hers, breathing hard. "I don't think I'm ever going to be able to keep my hands off you," I mutter, pressing my lips against hers again.

"Come on, we need to get going." Reluctantly, I let her go. Blake finally steps back, turning around and heading back towards the room .

I don't know how long I stand there until Luna comes out carrying two bags. Placing them down on the counter, she laughs.

"What?" I raise a brow at her.

"You're so fucked." She continues to laugh.

I hang my head . Don't I fucking know it .