Chapter Nine

“I can’t believe you bought a new house.”

Cutler fluttered around him like a mother hen, trying to get him inside while causing as little pain as possible. “I’ve always wanted to live on the beach, so this gave me the excuse I needed. There was no way in hell I would let you step a foot back in that old house.”

He was so sweet and adorable. “I would’ve been fine. Honestly, I don’t even remember much.” Gable winced as he endured the last step from the garage inside the house. A gorgeous kitchen came into view. Everything was blue, and cabinets lined the walls from floor to ceiling. “Oh, wow. You definitely have some storage.”

Cutler barely spared a glance for the kitchen. “Some cabinets are actually doors. One is the fridge. Another is a pantry. There’s one more that leads to a panic room.”

“A panic room? Nice.”

Cutler laughed. “Well, some people might call it a storm shelter.”

Gable laughed. He immediately regretted it. With a gasp, he grabbed his stomach, trying to keep his insides inside him where they belonged. “Shit.”

Cutler somehow managed to look twice as worried. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you laugh. ”

“Stop apologizing.” Cutler hadn’t stopped saying he was sorry since the moment Gable opened his eyes in the hospital. “Nothing about this is your fault. I knew my job was dangerous when I took it.”

“I should’ve been there.” It also wasn’t the first time Cutler had grumbled those words under his breath.

“Oh my gosh. Just help me to the bedroom before I start shaking from being upright too long.”

Cutler immediately rushed to help him. “I still say they should’ve kept you longer.”

Gable fought an eye roll. That was a new complaint Cutler hadn’t stopped uttering. “Wouldn’t you rather I be somewhere where you can take care of me?”

Cutler didn’t say anything.

Gable knew he had him. “You can gently cuddle with me here and make sure I have everything I need on our schedule rather than when hospital staff can get around to me.”

“That’s true.”

They came to an open doorway and Gable froze. Not only had Cutler bought a whole new house during the two weeks Gable had been hospitalized, but everything about his bedroom was different. All new furniture and decorative items. Gable’s throat swelled. This man really loved him. It wasn’t just words.

“You chose a purple duvet? You hate purple.”

A sexy chuckle rumbled from Cutler. “It’s your favorite color. That’s all that matters to me. ”

Gable shook his head as he eased beneath the covers Cutler turned back for him. “Why would you base all your decisions around me? This is your home. It should be done—shit.” Gable panted for breath as he stretched out, making his insides turn to fire. “It should be done how you like.” He tried to keep talking and focus on anything other than the pain. “Fuck. I hate this.” He rolled to his side and drew his knees up, taking pressure off his wounds. It would take a long time for him to recover from the massive internal trauma. In some ways, he wasn’t completely out of the woods. If anything leaked, it could poison his blood. The sepsis would kill him in an ugly and painful way. Gable had always thought of himself as a strong person, but this was beating him. He had never experienced pain like this.

Cutler quickly circled the bed and climbed in next to him. He held Gable, stroking his side and kissing the shell of his ear. “It’s okay, baby. I’m right here. Just breathe. If you can last an hour longer, you can have a pain pill.”

Gable tried breathing through the pain. “Just hold me and keep talking. I’ll be all right. I just need some distraction.”

Cutler kept kissing his ear. “You’ve got it. Anything you want, it’s yours. Um, distraction. Okay. I decorated the place for you because I want you to live here. With me. Permanently,” Cutler added, as if he worried Gable didn’t understand.

He held his breath. Gable didn’t know how to react. He loved Cutler, but he hadn’t seen this coming. Truthfully, he kind of loved the idea. They were always together, and this was the happiest he had ever been. Plus, his injuries likely meant he would be down for a while and the agency already made noises like this would mean a forced retirement for him. It wasn’t personal. He would probably get one hell of a retirement package, but he would be unemployed.

“You don’t have to answer right now. I know this was a bad time to ask. Just think about it, okay? Because I don’t know if my heart can stand you going back to your place and sleeping without me. I don’t know if I’ll survive worrying about you through the night. I have some serious PTSD now.”

Gable couldn’t stop smiling. Fuck, he was in love. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere. I need you to protect me while I sleep.”

He felt Cutler go still. “Did you just agree to move in with me?”

“Yes.”

Cutler’s lips shaped a huge grin against his neck. “Good.”

Gable closed his eyes, still smiling. He could sleep now that the pain had subsided, and he had made Cutler happy. Nothing else mattered. He could survive anything except Cutler hurting. Gable just needed some rest. His body was exhausted.

For way longer than necessary, Cutler listened to Gable breathe. It was such a calming sound that soothed Cutler’s frayed nerves. Since Gable came out of surgery, Cutler’s entire focus had been on making Gable’s life easier and better. He didn’t have time to think about the people behind this. The man who hurt him was dead. It seemed the entire incident had the CIA in an uproar, so whoever ordered the attack hadn’t done themselves any favors. Staying under the radar was a criminal’s first line of defense. So this had been a dumb as hell move. It was one Cutler wouldn’t imitate. Gable had survived. Cutler would tighten their security, batten down the hatches, and keep sentinel. He knew now there was an enemy out there. Cutler was smart enough to protect his and let bigger fish eat his prey. Considering Lazarus kept hanging around, Cutler had a feeling he was on the job. Gable had his full attention.

Even in his sleep, Gable still shook slightly. He knew it was a combination of trauma, blood loss, and pain. Cutler wanted to spend the rest of his life making him better. He would start with handling Gable’s things, getting him moved in and settled. Cutler had to keep his mind busy. He hadn’t been joking about the PTSD. Cutler hadn’t even returned to the scene. He had paid a company to handle the old house and the mess. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw a mixture of Danilo and Gable bleeding to death in his arms. His heart was beat up and tired. Cutler kept it to himself, but sometimes the past drowned him. There was so much ugliness in his mind and heart. All Cutler wanted was a peaceful life.

Cutler sniffed. His eyes burned and his throat swelled. He just wanted to hold Gable like this for the rest of his life and leave everything else behind. He sniffed again. The air stuttered from his lungs.

A loud cry escaped Gable, shattering Cutler’s heart as Gable rolled. His baby shook harder as he buried his face against Cutler’s throat. “Shh. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Until Gable hurt himself trying to comfort Cutler, he didn’t realize he silently cried. Life had just been too overwhelming. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

Gable held him tighter. “I’ll never be too hurt or tired to hold you. You go to sleep too. Don’t act like I don’t know you’ve been staying awake all night, keeping me safe with the hospital’s lax security. Close your eyes.”

Cutler did as told.

“Take a breath:”

Cutler breathed.

“Relax. I need you to be my pillow.”

A soft chuckle escaped Cutler. Gable shouldn’t be comforting him, but it was just another sign of how perfect they were together. He settled in to be the pillow Gable needed. His warmth soothed Cutler’s soul. In no time, Gable’s even breathing had the darkness coming for Cutler. Everything would be fine.