Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kati

Why had I let Easton convince me that coming tonight was a good idea? I wanted to keep this whole business as far away from Lucien as I possibly could, and instead, he was going to see just how far things had gotten away from me.

"You know you could just tell me, right?"

My hand flew up to my chest as I spun around at the sound of my son's voice.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," I lashed out before I could think better of it, but Lucien merely shrugged.

"If you weren't thinking so hard, you would've heard me come down the stairs." He walked right past me and headed straight for the refrigerator. As the mother of a teenage boy, I quickly learned just how much food I could go through in a matter of days. "So are you going to tell me what you're worried about?"

"What makes you think I'm worried about something?"

The look he gave me over his shoulder could only be described as one a teenager could make. It was a cross between don't bullshit me and you're kidding, right?

"First off, you're a mom, so that's all you do is worry. Second, you do this weird thing with your teeth and lip when something is bothering you, and third you were pacing when I came down the stairs. The only time you do that is when you need to talk to me about something important but you're not sure how to start the talk."

Those parents who complained that their teenagers were oblivious didn't realize just how lucky they were. I don't think there was a time in Lucien's life that he wasn't in tune with my emotions or observant.

"Fine," I huffed. "Maybe there is something."

"I already know there's something. I just want you to tell me what it is."

Cheeky little brat. I gave him my best mom staredown but it didn't work. He just kept looking at me with the refrigerator door open at his back. "Can you please decide what you want to eat and then close the door?"

His answer was a roll of the eyes, but Lucien pulled out a box of leftover pizza and did as I asked. Once he was settled on the island stool, I figured there was no point in procrastinating any longer.

"I hired a security company to come out and install a security system."

I'm not sure what kind of response I expected from my teenage son but the fact that he just kept going about his business and eating his pizza wasn't it.

After a rather large bite and some chewing, Lucien finally responded with one word. "Good."

Um, wait. That was it?

"Just good? What happened to the kid who questioned everything?”

"Yeah, Mom. Good. We should've had one all along. You're a single mother to a teenage boy. You refuse to allow weapons in the house, so other than a broom handle, I'm not sure what you plan to fend off an attacker with. Most of my friends have been hunting for years, but you were too scared to let me learn because of what people might think, so yeah, I'm glad we’re going to have a security system. There needs to be something to keep you safe."

It was in that moment that I realized I had failed miserably as a parent. Dropping down onto the stool next to him, I met my son at eye level.

"Is that why you think I didn't let you go hunting with your friends?"

Lucien lifted his shoulder like it wasn't a big deal but I knew better. He never gave me any problems, but I should've paid better attention when he asked to do things.

"I know what some people say in town. Who my biological father is isn't a secret and what he's done can be googled. There are some people who think that if I get a taste for violence, I'm going to end up like him, so I always figured when you said no, it was probably best."

Yup. Stab to the heart, I've failed royally. I grabbed my probably-too-big-to-need-hugs-from-his-mother son and pulled him into my arms. "I never once thought that. My reasons for not allowing you to hunt were selfish. I couldn't teach you, since I didn't know myself, and I didn't want anyone else to do it. It would mean putting your life into someone else's hands. I'm so sorry you ever thought anything else."

Of course, my son patted me on the back like I was the one in need of comfort. "It's okay. I wasn't sure I wanted to learn anyway. It was just something all my friends were doing."

For Lucien's whole life, I had been so happy that Alejandro wasn't around that I never stopped to think what the lack of a father figure meant. There were probably dozens of things he was missing out on because of it.

"I've clearly been doing a shitty job as a mother, but moving forward, I want you to talk to me. God knows how many other misconceptions you have because I suck at communicating with you. I want to change that."

"You're a great mother. I know things haven't always been easy. Just my sperm donor's identity has been a problem, but that's never stopped you from being the best mother a son could ask for. I wanted to make your life easier any way I could, and not arguing about things when you said no was just one of those ways."

It wasn't supposed to be a child's responsibility to make a parent's life easier. I had always thanked my lucky stars that I got such an amazing kid, but now I wondered how much he missed out on.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom. Now tell me more about when we're getting this security system."

I looked over at the clock on the microwave. "Should be any minute now. There will be two guys coming out from the security company to install the cameras, motion sensors, and the panel to control everything. I'm not sure how long it's going to take."

"Is this the same guy from yesterday?"

With my head thrown back, I let out a very loud groan. Or maybe it was a grumble. Hell, it could've been some strange sound that only dogs could hear. All I knew was that I would never live that moment down.

"I had been so damn sure that you couldn't hear what Aunt Lyla and I were talking about."

Lucien laughed. "Sorry to disappoint you but I heard it all. Another reason I already knew you were worried about something. Aunt Lyla mentioned the security company."

I was going to have to go back to watching what I said around my son. He was obviously too smart for his own good.

"So why bother wearing the earbuds?"

"Because I could tell something was wrong with you and I'm not stupid. You only talk to Aunt Lyla about grown-up stuff when you think I'm not paying attention."

"When did you get so smart?"

"My mama made me that way." He flashed his charming smile, the one that I hated to admit came from his father. It was the same smile that got me into trouble in the first place. Fortunately, Lucien was a much better man than his father would ever be.

A knock on the door stopped any further discussions.

"I'll get it." Lucien was up off the stool before I could tell him to let me do it instead.

Before a month ago, I never would've thought twice about who could be on the other side. I practically knew everyone on the block and the few newcomers who came to town weren't strangers after the first day. The welcoming committee—that wasn't their actual name, but they were the people who initiated contact—had all the information within hours because they were that nosy.

But now, I had to worry about my past making a comeback and trying to take away my sweet boy.

"Mom, it's the security company."

All I could see was Easton. Cargo shorts, a fitted t-shirt, and a baseball hat tipped low enough that it was covering some of his eyes. Each part individually probably wouldn't have meant anything, but the whole package …

Yeah, that was doing a lot to my girly parts.

It wasn't the same thing he had been in earlier. Damn the man.

"I see that."

Way to keep things smooth, Kati!

My voice was ten octaves too high and there was no way the two men standing on the front porch didn't hear it. Although they were gracious enough not to comment or smirk about it.

Lucien, on the other hand, wasn't so nice. The look on his face said it all. He was curious about what was going on with me. Thankfully he didn't say anything, not in front of Easton at least. I had a feeling there would be a discussion later though.

The awkward silence continued. Lucien stared at me. Easton stared at me. I did my best not to look at anyone. Nolen's eyes bounced back and forth between Easton and me, as he tried to figure out what was happening.

Same, buddy. Same.

It was Nolen who finally broke the tense moment. "We'll just get started out here with the cameras and motion sensors. It will take some time before we need to come in to set up the control monitor. Feel free to act like we aren't even here."

Like that was even possible. Easton had only to be in the vicinity and my body immediately came alive. The traitorous bitch didn't seem to understand that he was off-limits. All men were, if I were being honest. I didn't have the time for the complication in my life. Not when I needed to learn to be a better mother to my son.

"Thank you. Feel free to knock if you need anything."

The awkward silence was back. Easton was looking at me like I was a puzzle he needed to solve.

Good luck was all I could say to that. After thirty-five years I didn't have the first clue what I was doing with my life, so I sure as hell didn't think another person would figure it out.

The stare-off only ended when Nolen tugged his co-worker away and Lucien closed the door.

I needed to escape. I needed five minutes to compose myself before my son started asking questions.

"I'll be right back."

I didn't wait for Lucien to answer, or for him to question why I was running away.

Five minutes. I would give myself five minutes to mentally break down and then the mask could slip back on and no one would be wiser to my internal struggles.

I really need to stop lying to myself.