Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Okay?"

Molly gave Rufus a startled glance, having briefly forgotten he was standing beside her. "Fine." She nodded abruptly. "You have a beautiful daughter," she told Mia and Darius before chuckling, her cheeks hot, as Lilybeth began to root around against her chest. "I think she wants feeding." She crossed the room to give the baby back to Mia.

Lilybeth's sudden need to be fed, plus the arrival of a ward assistant with the roses in a vase, created enough distraction for Molly to be able to quietly leave the room.

She drew in a deep breath of much-needed air once she was in the hallway.

She hadn't realized meeting Lilybeth, seeing Rufus with her in his arms, would be quite so…emotional. If she had, she might not have agreed to accompany him here.

As it was, after holding Lilybeth in her arms and feeling as if the newborn baby could see all the secrets Molly kept hidden deep inside her, she'd realized it was time for her to go.

She hadn't thought it would happen as soon as this, had hoped to have more time, but she'd done what she came here to do, and now it was time for her to leave. Not just the maternity hospital, or the animal shelter, but London itself and the people she had come to know here.

She'd come to the English capital with only one purpose in mind, and now that purpose had been served. She just hadn't realized how much of a wrench it would be to up and leave when it came time for her to go.

All her adult life, she'd been moving from place to place, searching, always searching, for the people and the place where she would feel as if she belonged.

Admittedly, she hadn't realized how much it would hurt for her to be here. To be present but on the outside. Always on the outside.

And God knows she wanted to stay, to continue to be a part of Mia's, Darius's, Lilybeth's, and Rufus's lives, even if it could only be on the periphery.

"Are you all right?"

Her spine stiffened at the sound of Rufus's voice behind her. Damn it, she'd wanted a few minutes alone so she could fall apart in private.

Something she shouldn't—couldn't—do in front of Rufus without him asking questions she would refuse to answer.

* * *

It had taken Rufus half a minute or so to realize Molly was no longer in the room with them.

The same half a minute when he'd also decided that he should give the newborn baby and her parents some time alone while Lilybeth was being fed.

He and Mia had reestablished a strong father-daughter bond since they were reunited two years ago, but he would rather not intrude right now on such an intimate experience between the new baby and her parents.

That was his own reasoning for coming out into the hallway. He wasn't sure what Molly's was.

His gaze narrowed when he saw how pale her cheeks were. "We never did get to eat lunch," he realized. "Let me buy you something in the hospital bistro." He'd noticed the signs for the eating area when they first entered the hospital.

It wasn't the usual type of place he would have chosen for a first date, but?—

What the hell…?

Noting the pallor of Molly's face and then offering to buy her something to eat as they had both missed out on lunch did not amount to a date , for fuck's sake!

Molly would probably laugh at the idea of him thinking it was.

"There's really no need for that," she said. "I'm sure you'll want to remain at the hospital for a while longer. I can easily get a bus or call a cab and then eat something when I get back to the shelter."

"Absolutely not," he snapped. "Sorry." He winced at the sharpness of his tone. "Let's go grab a sandwich in the bistro here. We can discuss what happens next once we've spoken to Mia and Darius again after Lilybeth has been fed."

Merely saying his granddaughter's name filled Rufus with warmth, a bone-deep sense of rightness he hadn't experienced since Emily was born.

Which made the young woman standing in front of him a part of those feelings of rightness.

He eyed Molly quizzically, unhappy with the paleness of her cheeks and the haunted look in his eyes. As if seeing Lilybeth had opened up an old wound for her.

Was it possible that's what had happened?

His initial security check on Molly had been thorough, as it always was on anyone who came near his beloved daughter.

Molly's life before the age of ten was mainly a mystery, her name only having appeared on any official records when she started attending school at the age of five.

In contrast to the lack of information about those early years, Molly's life after the age of ten, until she aged out of the system at eighteen, was well documented.

After that Rufus had been able to follow her progress by her job history, as well as establishing she had no criminal record.

He hadn't looked too deeply into her personal life from the age of eighteen to twenty-seven.

But there was no denying that holding Lilybeth appeared to have triggered something inside Molly, totally destroying her usual cheerfully smiling disposition.

Could that something possibly be that Molly had once had a baby of her own?

Rufus took a gentle hold of her arm. "Is there something you want to share with me?" he prompted softly.

If anything, her cheeks became even paler. Her eyes were wide, the pupils endless pools of black.

Her throat moved as she swallowed. "I— You— It— No, nothing," she finally blurted.

One thing Rufus was confident of was the accuracy of his bullshit meter, and right now, it clearly told him Molly was lying.

As was her right if she so chose, he allowed.

But he couldn't—wouldn't allow a liar anywhere near his daughter or granddaughter.

He released her arm and stepped away. "I think we both know that isn't true," he bit out grimly. "Just as you must know I can't allow anyone near Mia, and now Lilybeth, whom I can't completely trust."

* * *

Molly could see the resolve in Rufus's hard green eyes and knew that, as far as he was concerned, this was the end of their association. That, quite rightly, Mia's and Lilybeth's safety and happiness came first with him. And Molly's less-than-helpful replies just now had given him serious reason to doubt her in that regard.

Given the circumstances, even the smallest doubt in Rufus's mind would be enough for him to no longer trust her.

He couldn't possibly know Molly would never ever hurt Mia or Lilybeth. She would rather put herself in harm's way than ever do that.

But Rufus saw only black and white where his daughter, and now granddaughter, was concerned, and Molly's evasive behavior just now had put her in a gray area, if not a black one.

She drew in a shaky breath. "I had a younger brother."

"What?"

"I had a brother," she repeated in the face of his complete bafflement.

"I didn't find any record of him when I—" Rufus broke off abruptly, looking uncomfortable.

"It's okay." Molly gave a half smile. "Mia told me you had to do a security check on me before I could start work at the shelter. Ronan was just a baby."

"Like Lilybeth."

She nodded. "Just a few weeks older than Lilybeth, yes."

He grimaced. "Which is why it upset you to hold her."

Not quite. But close enough.

Rufus shook his head. "I know that there was no official record of your own birth, but there was also no mention in the police report of a baby being found in the apartment with you."

"That's because my mother took Ronan with her when she left."

"What the hell!"

Molly avoided Rufus's gaze as she released a long and slow breath. "And the reason there was no record of my own or Ronan's birth was because my mother didn't like what she called ‘interfering government bureaucracy' snooping into her life."

"And you didn't tell the police about Ronan?"

"No."

"Why not? Never mind," he dismissed before she could think of an answer. "You were only a child yourself, and you'd been abandoned and living on your own for five days and nights when the police found you. As far as you were concerned, it must have hurt to think your mother had chosen to take Ronan with her rather than you."

There was more to it than that, so much more, but Molly had already told Rufus all that she dared. Perhaps, more than was wise.

"Would you like me to find him for you now?"

Molly recoiled. "What?" she gasped.

Rufus shrugged. "Now that I know exactly what I'm looking for, I can do another, more in-depth search for what happened to your mother and brother. We didn't have the amount of camera surveillance then as we do now, and it might take a while, but I'm sure I'll be able to find an archived image of them somewhere. People really don't tend to just disappear."

Did Molly want Rufus to look for her mother and Ronan?

She wanted to know Ronan was safe, yes.

But her mother?

Sarah Harper had abandoned her and, for all intents and purposes, had never looked back nor cared if Molly lived or died once she was gone.

After so many years, Molly felt the same disinterest in knowing her mother's fate.

* * *

Rufus saw the conflicting emotions in Molly's changing expression, and he could easily guess the reason for it. To be abandoned by her own mother was heartbreaking enough, but to know that same mother had taken Molly's brother with her but left her behind must be devastating.

So much so that Rufus had no idea how Molly usually appeared so cheerful as an adult.

"Look at me, Molly," he prompted gruffly, waiting until she had raised those beautiful long-lashed blue eyes to look at him before lowering his head and slowly brushing his lips against hers.

He instantly felt that same surge of electricity through his body as he had at the shelter earlier when their gazes had caught and become locked.

That same flare of desire he felt was also evident in Molly's eyes.

Rufus's pleasure was intensified a hundred times with the feel of Molly's soft lips beneath and responding to his.

"Come home with me." He lifted his head to breathe huskily against her lips. "I promise you can leave anytime you want, but please come home with me when we leave here." Rufus desperately needed privacy for when, or if, this attraction between them moved to the next level.

At the same time, he knew it was utter madness to allow himself to succumb to these feelings.

But it was an intensity of desire Rufus had never felt before. With any woman, including his wife.

He could deny it as much as he liked.

Could keep trying to deny Molly in the same way.

But it was becoming increasingly impossible for him to do that now he had seen that same desire reflected in her expressive blue eyes.

A desire the sudden regret in her expression said she was about to deny.

His chest felt heavy. "Molly?—"

"I'm about to take a tray of tea things in to Mr. and Mrs. Kingston. Would the two of you also like a drink?"

Rufus turned to find the receptionist from earlier standing behind them. The same receptionist Molly had told she was Mia's sister and Rufus's daughter. Their closeness right now was hardly that of a father and his daughter!

The teasing light in the woman's eyes obviously agreed with him. "Tea?" she prompted again brightly.

"No. Thank you," he refused woodenly, almost afraid to look at Molly and see her reaction to the two of them having been found in such a compromising position.

"Don't look so worried, love." The receptionist squeezed Molly's arm as she passed her. "I already knew you weren't Mrs. Kingston's sister."

"You did?"

She nodded. "It says on her notes that her only relatives are her husband and father. But you arrived with Mr. Wynter, so I had to assume he wouldn't allow just anyone in to see his daughter and granddaughter."

"You assumed correctly," he confirmed.

He had no idea if the receptionist was one of the people who had read the articles in the newspaper two years ago about his reconciliation with his daughter, but it was a fair assumption to make that she had.

"Molly is a close friend of Mia's, and my daughter asked me to bring her with me so she could visit with her and the baby," he added.

The older woman nodded. "If you change your mind about the tea, just let me know." She walked away. "If I had a Daddy who looked like you, I probably wouldn't want to let him out of my sight either," she called out cheekily as she disappeared into a room farther down the hallway.

Leaving an awkward silence behind her.

* * *

Molly wasn't sure if she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her or to break into hysterical laughter.

One look at the discomfort of Rufus's expression, and the latter won out.

He initially scowled his displeasure when she began to laugh, but then seconds later, he joined in, and the two of them laughed together for several minutes.

"The look on your face was priceless!" Molly eventually managed to gasp, her hands resting on her thighs as she bent over slightly, trying to catch her breath.

"I have no interest in being your Daddy," he grumbled.

She knew that, but that one kiss they had shared told her he was definitely the man Molly knew she had been falling in love with for the past three months.

The same man she now realized she had told far too much about her past.

Why had she done that?

Molly knew exactly why.

Because no matter what happened next, she didn't want Rufus to think badly of her after she was gone.

Even as she recognized it was a futile hope if Rufus ever learned the truth about her and the real reason she had jumped at the chance to work at Mia's animal shelter.

She had been living a lie these past three months, indulging in a life she knew she couldn't keep and forming a friendship with Mia that she also knew had to end.

Kissing Rufus meant she had now started something much deeper with him that most definitely couldn't be allowed to go any further.

She straightened. "I don't need or want a Daddy either," she assured him coolly. "Real or kink-wise," she added dismissively. "But I do need to get back to the shelter. I told Meg I'd only be gone a couple of hours." She was effectively refusing his invitation to go home with him without actually saying the words.

Rufus frowned his frustration with that statement for several seconds before nodding tersely. "I'll drive you."

"No, thank you." She gave him a brightly insincere smile. "There's a bus stop directly outside the hospital." She didn't know that for certain, but she hoped there was.

"Then I'll come and see you later this evening."

"I'd rather you didn't," Molly said, and immediately had to harden her heart against the look of disappointment now shadowing Rufus's eyes. "I have a lot to do when I get back, plus I have to spend time loving on Honey this evening to make up for Mia and Darius's absence." She would have rather spent time "loving on" Rufus, but she'd never held too many expectations of her wishes coming true.

Which was not self-pity, because she refused to indulge in that if it could be avoided. It was simply a fact that she rarely, if ever, received what she most wished for.

Which was ungrateful of her because she had just spent three months getting to know and become friends with Mia. Something she had never thought possible.

But now she would seriously have to start thinking about packing up her stuff and moving on. After she'd helped out with the open days at the shelter this weekend, of course. She wouldn't let Mia down by leaving before that.

And what about her feelings for Rufus?

They, and he, were something else she couldn't have.

* * *

Rufus didn't like Molly's plans for the evening one little bit. Mainly because they didn't include him.

At the same time, he couldn't dispute the fact that not only had Molly verbally turned down his offer to go home with him or for him to visit her at her apartment later this evening, but the determination in her eyes told him she was absolutely sincere in that refusal.

He should never have kissed her!

She had just looked so sad at that moment, he hadn't been able to resist.

But knowing the reason for Molly's wistful expression earlier had now given him a purpose that would hopefully result in him having a legitimate reason to see her again.

All he had to do was find her brother, who had been only a few weeks old when he disappeared with their mother.

All!

Despite his confidence when he spoke to Molly on the subject, Rufus knew that looking for Ronan Harper after all these years was going to be like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.

Which didn't mean Rufus wasn't going to do everything he could, and ask Linus to use every one of his hacker skills, to search for Molly's now seventeen-year-old brother.