Chapter 8

"You already have proof that I am not a good father," he added after silence.

"That can always change." Now that the idea had been out there, it was taking root. Throwing one leg over both of his, she managed to drive him deeper inside her. She had splayed her fingers over the hairs on his powerful chest and could feel the unsteady beating of his heart.

"No," he said succinctly, even as his entire body was melting from the heat she was causing. "I am not stupid enough to complicate what we do here with a baby. Pick someone else."

She started to pull away from him, but he would not allow it.

"Let go of me."

"Why?" He gritted. "Because I am being honest? You cannot honestly think that having a baby is a good idea. We barely know each other. And I do not believe you are-" His voice trailed off as he stared at her.

"You might as well say it. I already know what you are thinking." She told him stonily. "You think I am desperate."

"I think you are being irrational," he said quietly, trying to salvage the conversation. "I am not Dad material. Not just because of what happened with Madison's mother but there is also the case of my father, who was a lousy parent. We have something.

I thought it would diminish after what we did, but Christ!" He exploded. "I am hungry for you-" His hands cupped her face. "I am starving - I want to devour you."

He peppered her face with kisses until he got to her mouth, where he kissed her long and deep. Everything inside her mind turned to pure mush, and she clung to him, her body smashed against his.

Royce was so hard he could barely stand it. He was so hot that he felt as if he was melting. His hands dug into her back and raced down to her derriere, where he squeezed the flesh. Letting go, he shoved her onto her back.

He was buried deep inside her, and still, he wanted more. He was starving for more. This fire burning inside him could not be quenched. Tearing his mouth from hers, he rolled his forehead against hers as he fought for control.

He wanted to tear her apart. He was so crazy about needing her that he could not function. And he hated that she had this unnatural power over him. Reaching between them, he lifted his hips so that he could toy with the swollen flesh. As soon as his fingers touched the sensitive nub, she came, her fingers digging into his chest.

"Royce." Her voice was hoarse, chest heaving. "Royce."

He came then, his body shuddering as if he was having a seizure. Jerking her head up, he buried his lips in hers.

*****

He spent the night. That had never happened to him, at least not after Madison's mother. But he had found himself frustratingly unable to get enough of her. He had behaved like an animal starved of sustenance for days.

They had both stumbled into exhausted sleep in the early morning hours. But he was awake now, and rational thinking had returned with a vengeance. The conversation of last night was also crowding his mind.

She wanted a baby, and it could be that he had stupidly granted her wish. He knew better. Women had tried desperately to become Mrs. St. Clair for years, but he had avoided that noose. He was thirty-five years old and had garnered enough experience about females to fill several books.

There might be a few genuine ones out there. He was a member of the Elite Club, and he had friends and fellow members who seemed to have hit the jackpot regarding happy marriages and sustaining relationships.

Still, he had never found a woman who did not want him because of his wealth. It did not matter a damn that they had the resources. They wanted more, and he found their greed appalling and a complete turn-off.

The most he had felt was contempt. So, he had taken what they eagerly offered and laid down the ground rules. They would have fun and hell; they didn't even have to be faithful to him; he did not care that much.

They would be with each other until he tires of the ‘hook up,' and that would be it. He was also not above gifting them expensive trifles; it was not something that made a hole in his bank account. But he never spent the night, and he had never labored over a woman's body this long. Neither had he ever felt this burning need to be with someone.

He thought the insane passion would burn itself out sometime during the night or the early morning, but he had to force himself to stop so that they could get some sleep.

Shifting slightly so that he would not disturb her, he studied her. In repose, she looked vulnerable, something that tugged at his heart. Her tears had floored him for some reason, and after he had said those harsh things to her, he wished he could take them back.

His body swelled as he stared at her mouth. She had a lush bottom lip, and he wanted to devour her mouth even now. He wanted her. His body was yearning for hers, and it was scaring his life. She wanted a baby, and she had this insane idea that he should be the one to give it to her.

He could scarcely cope with the child he had. Shaking his head, he wondered why he was entertaining the idea. Because you made love to her countless times and flooded her with your seed, and even now, she could be pregnant. The unwelcome voice sounded inside his head.

But she had told him it was almost impossible for her to conceive, he reminded himself. And the fact was that he did not want to use anything with her; he did not want anything between them.

And what if she is pregnant? What if it somehow happened? What then? The damn voice was relentless, he thought with a shake of his head. He had to believe that what she had told him was the truth. She had looked so forlorn and desperately unhappy that it had tugged at his heart. When the hell had he developed empathy?

After what Madison's mother had done to him, he had closed himself off from most emotions. He had done such an excellent job of it that he could not tell his daughter he loved her. And he found himself wondering if he did.

That was the painful reality. He had put himself out there because he was so determined not to be his father that his vulnerability had made itself known, and the heartless bitch had picked up on it and played him.

He could not afford for that to happen again. He had been played for a colossal fool, almost destroying him. But what now? The voice was still tormenting him.

And he had to admit to himself that what he was feeling now, what he had started to feel ever since he met her - even before that earth-shaking kiss inside her store, was something new and frightening.

He had never felt this way before. He could not allow it to continue. He had a few projects that would take him out of town for maybe a week, and he hoped his mother could arrange the trip for them to leave. He could take the time to sift through these conflicting feelings tumbling around inside him and come to some sort of decision.

It would give the ardor time to cool down. But even the thought of being away from her made his heart thud painfully. What the hell was wrong with him? Easing himself away from her carefully, he acknowledged in alarm that he was reluctant to leave.

He wanted her again, wanted to taste her sweet lips and drive himself deep into her. He wanted to feast on her nipples until they were raw. With an impatient and frustrated sigh, he swung his legs off the bed and went to get his clothes. Scooping them into his arms, he went into the bathroom to get dressed.

Going over to the sink, he splashed cold water on his face, noticing the glazed, relaxed look. Her fingers disheveled his hair. She had also left marks on his chest in the throes of her climaxes. And they had been countless.

"I never knew orgasms were supposed to be so mind-blowing." She whispered, and it pleased him that he had been the one to give her that unique experience. He had not told her that it had been staggering for him, too.

Straightening, he dragged restless fingers through his hair before turning around, leaving the pretty, feminine lime green room with the ruffled towels, and stepping into the bedroom.

"Hi."

He came to a halt just inside the doorway and stared at her. He had hoped that he would have been able to escape before she woke up. She was sitting up against the pillows with the sheets wrapped around her breasts.

"I am just leaving. I hope I did not wake you." Ignoring his tightening body, he strode to the sofa and put on his shoes.

"I could make you some coffee."

"No need." His voice was unnecessarily curt, and he noticed it when she flinched.

"It's just coffee, Royce; I am not asking you to move in with me." Her voice was cool and flat.

"Good, because that's not going to happen. And what you said last night about wanting a baby? I would advise you to put that out of your mind. At least, where I am concerned."

"We did not use anything." She reminded him.

He jerked a shoulder at that. "You told me about your condition unless you were lying."

Her eyes flared. "I don't lie."

"Then that settles it. There is no need to fear repercussions from our actions." Rising lithely, he was about to turn and walk out, but something had him walking over to the bed instead.

"Look, we have a connection that I am still trying to figure out. I want to see you again, even now-" He shuddered out a breath and pulled the sheets from off her; his blue-gray eyes roved hungrily over her generous breasts.

"I want you," he told her tersely. "I want to drive myself in you and never stop." Sitting on the edge facing her, he cupped her breast and watched the nipple jerk to awareness immediately. "God help me," he whispered as he bent his head and feasted.

*****

Half an hour later, he was in his tan and green bathroom, his head buried beneath the almost piping hot needles of the multiple shower heads, his eyes closed in recollection. Ignoring the sting of water on the various scratches on his chest, he thought back to just before he left.

He had ended up taking off his clothes and making love to her again. He was running late for a meeting but did not care about that.

Nothing had mattered to him while he was with her. He had been lost inside her body, the scent of her. He had not committed to see her again, but it had been implied. Blindly reaching over to punch the button, he squeezed some shower gel into his palm and rubbed it into his hair.

He could still smell her, and her scent was still in his nostrils. Shaking his head, he scrubbed the gel over his hair and chest, wincing slightly at the abrasions. A few weeks ago, another woman had put marks on him, and he had been furious.

But now, he was tracing the bruises as if they were scars from a battle he had won. Ducking beneath the sprays, he rinsed himself off and turned off the water. Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed two towels.

He had not seen anyone except the maids getting a start on the day, so he hurried up the stairs, hoping that his mother and daughter were still asleep and they had not noticed his absence all of last night.

With a ragged sigh, he set about getting ready to leave.

*****

Indie felt pleasantly sore all over her body. A smile touched her lips as she sat up against the pillows. Her nipples were super sensitive, but she did not mind it one bit. Her body felt well-used and well-loved, and a soft glow was inside her heart. She was in love with him! It was a scary thought that she would have to keep to herself for now.

Royce St. Clair was a complex man. Shaking her head at that dreadful understatement, she found herself sobering as she considered the entire matter. He was cynical and did not believe in love.

He had been through a lot, contributing to his blatant cynicism and hard edges. Her heart wrenched as she wondered if he had been in love with Madison's mother.

She was going to fight for her life. He was no doubt accustomed to women going after him for his money. She would have to prove to him that she wanted the man and his daughter.

She loved Madison, she thought with a tender smile. The little girl had rushed into her store and stolen her heart. She was used to children coming in with their parents and usually had some fondness for them. But the minute she had laid eyes on Madison, the child had touched something deep inside her.

She had unearthed the yearning she thought had been buried. She might not be able to conceive, which wrenched at her.

She wanted Royce's baby, more than one; oh please, God! She sent up an anguished prayer. She wanted to see his baby suckling at her breast, to show him that not all women were like the one who had deserted that beautiful child.

She was longing to show him a different scenario—one where they were not only lovers but also husband and wife and parents—parents who would love their children unconditionally. Who would be there for them as well?

She was willing to do anything to show him. But he had left this morning without a word, just that he had to go. And not telling her he wanted to see her again or when he would be available. She could not just show up at his corporate office or home, especially not his home, without an invitation.

She would have to leave everything up to him, and she felt it would be a mistake. He was already resisting. Somehow, the powerful Royce St. Clair was incredibly attracted to her. He had been unable to keep his hands off her, and she was certainly not experienced in many ways, but she could tell he was hooked.

But something also told her that he would fight what he was feeling. He had already told her he did not want another child but had contradicted that by making love to her the entire night and morning and had not used anything.

She was not on any sort of protection because of her lack of relationship. But the doctor had warned her that she should give up hope. She ignored that, and now, more than ever, she was praying for a miracle. She was going to give Royce a child, hopefully, a son.

With that in mind, she hopped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom to prepare for her day.

*****

By the middle of the day, she was exhausted from her lack of sleep and emotional because she had not heard anything from him. She kept looking out for Madison, and every time she glimpsed a dark-haired girl coming into the shop, she would feel her heart picking up the beat.

She did not have the right to call the house and ask to speak to the little girl, and it struck her painfully that she could not contact him either.

Was she entitled to do so? She wondered as she waded through the stock that had been delivered yesterday. She had put Miriam on register duty and the other two staff members on the floor because she was not her usual vivacious self.

She had stared at her reflection in the mirror in the bathroom a few minutes ago and saw evidence of her weariness and the sadness coating her features. She was not in the mood to smile graciously and engage anyone in conversation.

She was attacking the unwelcome task of stocking shelves just to be alone with her thoughts. She would take off early today and go home - to do what exactly?

She stopped while cleaning off the light dust from a beautiful doll with dreadlocks, the tight coil tumbling down her colorful red, green, and gold turban wrapped around her head. The truth was that his scent was on her bed. She remembered making it up this morning before leaving and spent several minutes inhaling his scent.

With a laugh, she continued the task and realized she had it pretty bad. Royce St. Clair was not a man who would simply fall in love with her, with the likelihood of proposing.

And right now, she was not ashamed to say that she was willing to accept shacking up with him as long as they were together. And she hoped he would come to love her and realize they belonged together during that time.

Her watch showed that it was almost the end of the regular workday, and he had not called. She had not given him her phone number because he had not asked for it, but her store was listed on the Internet.

All he had to do was type in the name, and it was right there. Besides, this was his complex, which made it more accessible. Or she hoped he would just drop by, like the first two times.

Yes, she decided with a flare of hope. That's what was going to happen. He would wait until closing, and everyone had gone for the day.

She would look out at the parking lot and see his vehicle parked, with him leaning against the hood. He would follow her home, and they would- Shaking her head with a rueful laugh, she forced herself to calm down and think of something else.

"Indie?" She was just finishing up with the stocking when Susie called to her.

"Yes?"

"You have a visitor." The girl told her with a beaming smile.

"Is it-"

"It's Madison."

Her eyes lit up in delight as she surged to her feet just in time to see the beautiful child rushing towards her.

"Indie!"

"Here she is!" Bending over, she hugged the girl to her, her heart shuddering as she felt the little girl's body against hers. "Who are you here with?"

"Glenna. I had to beg her to bring me. We are leaving for Disney tomorrow."

Indie eased her away. "I am sure you will have fun."

"Grandma and Glenna are coming with me." Her forehead creased slightly. "I asked Daddy to come with us, but he said he has work. He is always working."

Indie looked up to see Glenna approaching and greeted the nanny with a smile.

"She wanted to see you before the trip."

"And I am so happy to see her. How long will you be staying?"

"A week."

"I guess I will see you when you get back."

Madison nodded, her eyes going to the shelves Indie had just finished stocking. "You got some new stuff."

"Just yesterday. Why don't I show you?"