Chapter Six

Matt's face was chapped and his entire body hurt. He worked harder to prove himself to the Blue Fires than he ever had for any other team. Truthfully, he couldn't explain why. It just felt like he needed to be worthy—like people knew Slater had gotten him a private meeting with Tanner. He wanted to know he had earned that spot.

His relationship with Slater was the exact opposite of his career. It wasn't work at all. In fact, life had never been simpler. Slater traveled with him sometimes and stayed home others. Either way, they were perfect. He hadn't known sharing his life with someone could be so easy. They never fought. That was mostly because Slater was an adult. Matt realized he was too, but Slater was that adult-ier adult people spoke about. He was patient, understanding, and he worked at their relationship. Matt felt like he had won the relationship lottery.

Unfortunately, Slater possessed lottery-sized money, and Matt had moments when he felt unneeded. With Christmas right around the corner, Matt had no idea what to buy the man who had everything. He wanted to be every bit as special to Slater as Slater was to him. Matt spent ridiculous amounts of time online searching for the perfect gift. Nothing ever jumped off the screen. He had one idea, but it was a crazy one. Matt kept trying to push that one from his head.

Matt's gaze moved away from his laptop toward the opposite end of the couch. Slater held his book with one hand, reading, while massaging Matt's foot with his free hand. Matt never thought he would love a quiet life like this. He couldn't get enough. His gaze slid down Slater's body. He had a few days' growth on his chin. Slater was so big. He took up so much real estate. Matt set his laptop aside and shifted to his knees. He pushed Slater's book aside.

Slater laughed. "Am I not giving you the attention you deserve?"

Matt settled sideways on Slater's lap. With his arms wrapped around Slater's neck, he felt like he held the world. "It's the other way around. I'm not giving you the attention you deserve. What do you want for Christmas, Santa?"

Slater's smile grew. "Aren't you supposed to tell Santa what you want while sitting on his lap?"

Matt shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a rule breaker."

"I have everything because I have you."

An eye roll was out of his control. Slater could at least give him a little help in figuring out the gift situation. "I'm being serious."

Slater kissed the tip of his nose. "I am too. There's nothing I can't buy myself. I can't buy you."

Matt couldn't look away from the dark green eyes he loved. It had been just over eight months since he lost a shoe and gained the whole world. In those months, Matt had choked on the three words he wanted to say more times than he could count. Maybe that was what he wanted for Christmas. Matt wanted to know if Slater felt the same.

"I love you." The words were out there before he thought things through. Unfortunately, he immediately envisioned a million horrible scenarios. His love might be too far. Maybe Slater didn't want it. This might kill their happy life.

"Lord Tiernan."

Matt startled at George's sudden announcement.

Slater's gaze shot toward the door. Matt's followed.

A guy who looked exactly like a younger version of Slater strolled into the room. "You bought a hockey team. An entire fucking hockey team. Mother is livid."

"Tier," Slater said, sounding cold in a way Matt had never heard before as he greeted the unexpected guest.

The man's words rang inside Matt's head. He tried moving from Slater's lap. Slater's arms tightened around him like a vise, holding him in place.

Another man peeked around their unexpected guest.

George stood with his feet planted, looking oddly furious. "And Shea." The distaste in George's voice as he announced the second man was palpable.

Matt felt the way every muscle hardened in Slater's body.

The guy, who was obviously Shea, shimmied around Tier, stepping all the way into the room. He was tiny, blond, and sparkly. His light green eyes looked bright—like he was a chipper person.

"Hello, Slater." He had an adorable Irish accent that made Matt feel a little sick.

Slater ignored him. He stayed focused on Tier. His arms still didn't loosen. "Why is he here?"

"Maybe I should—"

Slater's hold tightened almost painfully at Matt's words. Matt fell silent without finishing his offer to leave.

Tier glanced toward Shea before focusing on Slater again. "We're a couple. Why wouldn't he be here?"

Shea's eyes lit with triumph.

Matt felt something horrible growing in the room.

Slater obviously didn't intend to make anyone welcome… or explain. "If you've come to discuss finances, you can set up a proper meeting. Not that I intend to discuss my money with you. You've stolen quite enough from me."

Matt's gaze couldn't stop bopping around the room, taking in every detail.

Shea was focused on Matt in a way that set warning bells clanging. "Don't you want to introduce us to your friend?"

Slater continued, pretending he was deaf when Shea spoke. Matt didn't know what to do.

Unfortunately, Shea obviously wasn't one to be ignored. "Is this the man you bought that team for? Your mom says you'll never learn, but that was a dig at me too, so…"

Matt truly felt sick now. In fact, he had never felt so ill in his life. A picture started to unfold, and it was ugly. So fucking ugly. His eyes burned, but he refused to let anyone see his hurt.

Everyone kept talking, as if Matt wasn't falling apart. "I'm your brother, Slater. I don't need an appointment to be your blood."

"You are nothing to me. I want you both out before George throws you into the street."

George rolled his shoulders, as if more than ready to oblige.

Shea laughed. "Half this house should be mine. If there was any justice in the world, it would be."

Slater's body was tense. Matt expected him to snap a tendon at any second. "If there was any justice in this world, you'd both be dead. Yet here you are, thinking you'll ever be anything more than that to me. If either of you come near me or any of mine again, you'll wish I had killed you."

Matt blinked. He had never witnessed such a deep hatred. That much hatred only came from one place: love. It was the flip side of the coin. The desire to cry got stronger by the minute. He saw now why Slater hadn't told him he loved him. Slater loved this man, who now belonged to his brother. His chest hurt.

"Come on, Slater. You can't hold on to this forever. Mom wanting me to talk to you about the money you dropped is more of just an excuse for me to be here. You're my big brother. Whether you want it or not, we're family."

Slater nodded toward George.

"Your Grace." George turned toward the pair of unwanted guests.

Tier put up his hands, showing his surrender when it became obvious George fully intended to physically toss them from the house. "Okay. I'm going. Just know I'm in town until the new year. Maybe find me so we can talk."

Shea skipped from the room like a kid who hadn't just kicked over a sandcastle. Tier followed, casting pitiful looks Slater's way. The moment they were alone, Matt retreated inside his head. He completely checked out. Slater didn't relax. Matt's brain refused to come out of hiding. Everything was a lie or a secret. He hadn't really deserved that spot on the team. Slater didn't love him. There was this tiny sprite of a guy who owned Slater already. A thought hit. That was who had colored those pages. Matt covered his mouth. A tiny whimper escaped him. It was unlike any sound he had ever made before. His soul cried.

Matt tried pushing from Slater's lap.

Slater wouldn't let him move.

Neither of them spoke. Matt didn't think his voice would work if he tried.

He felt Slater's muscles relax a hair. Slater cleared his throat. "Where were we?"

The way Slater obviously intended to act as if nothing happened completely shattered what was left of Matt. He exploded. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? Do you really plan to act like you didn't lie to me about how I got a spot with the Blue Fires? Are we really going to pretend the reason you don't love me is because you love whoever the fuck that was? You gave me his coloring book." Matt's voice broke. He hated himself for that. His anger gave him strength. Matt shoved his way from Slater's lap and headed for the stairs.

He passed George, who stood like a statue, pretending he saw nothing. Matt didn't care. Let them see. Everyone else already knew he was a fool. Everyone had known but him. Matt stormed his way up the stairs.

"Matt, wait. Just hear me out."

Matt couldn't hear a thing. He was too furious. Plus, he had too much to do. Matt needed to pack his things, find a temporary place to stay, and resign from the team. That last one would be the trickiest. His lawyer would have to help untangle that one. A new wave of pain hit. Slater had insisted on using his attorney to handle Matt's contract. He didn't know what to do about that.

Matt grabbed a suitcase and slammed it down on the bed. He threw things inside as quickly as possible.

Slater dumped them out just as quickly. "Stop it, Matt. Just talk to me."

The rage was real. He focused on Slater, but he was a blur, making Matt realize he blindly cried. "The same way you talked to me? That's easy." He snatched up his keys. "Keep my stuff."

He headed for the door. His feet left the floor.

Slater held him in a death grip. "Fucking stop. Even if I had nothing to say, I wouldn't let you drive like this."

Matt struggled against Slater's hold. He was strong, but Slater was stronger. Matt went limp. It felt like something inside him died. "Let me go." Even to his ears, his voice sounded dead.

"No." He hugged Matt against his chest and kissed his neck. "I can't. Not until you calm down and hear me out."

His anger was the only thing holding Matt together. With Slater stopping him from raging, the pain caught up with him. He cried harder. "You promised you wouldn't play games with me. You swore you wouldn't break me. There's nothing you can say I can believe."

Slater kept his mouth pressed against Matt's neck, making soothing sounds.

"You wanted me to be him." His voice completely gave out as the truth of his words sank into his soul. He had thought they were perfect. Matt thought they were beautiful. It had never been for him.

"Absolutely not. The last thing I want is someone like him." Slater kept his voice soothing. "I never want to walk in again and find the person I love the most in the world in bed with my brother. That love died that day. For both of them. I don't love him or wish you were him. You're it for me. Everything I've said is true. You're the one I love."

Everything hurt too much. One second, he had been thinking about his flawless life with Slater. The next, it was all a lie.

Slater carried him to bed.

Matt no longer had the strength to run. Every ounce of his energy was needed to keep breathing. His heart no longer had any desire to beat. He felt like a rag doll. There was no life in him. Slater easily positioned his body against his chest and held him while Matt let everything happen to him. Everything simply shut down. He didn't want to keep living.

The panic inside Slater was off the charts. He was scared as hell. Way more so than he had ever been at the thought of losing Shea. Years with Shea didn't compare to the happiness Matt had brought him in the past months. That was why he hadn't told Matt he loved him. He was terrified of ruining things.

Unfortunately, he had made a million missteps. Slater didn't know if he could fix this, but he had to try. He wouldn't let Matt go without a fight. Slater just started talking. He picked a place and ran with it.

"Shea was my brother's best friend in secondary school. After their graduation, one thing led to another between Shea and me, and we ended up a couple. Then the next thing I knew, we were married. Honestly, I don't recall having much say in the matter. He planned our life, and I kept the peace." Slater kissed Matt's shoulder. He couldn't resist. Telling his story made him realize how different things were with Matt. Better. Amazing.

He had to keep going. Slater couldn't lose him. "It turns out Shea has always been in love with my brother. Except Tier only ever dated women. We look very much alike, so I guess he thought one brother was as good as the other. Or maybe he just closed his eyes and pretended I was Tier. Either way, while I had married for love, he hadn't. He never stopped wanting Tier. Fast forward a few years, and—from what I understand—Tier showed up drunk one day and professed his jealousy and love. That was all it took. Shea was his. I suppose he always was." Slater swallowed. He hated thinking about either of them.

Still, Matt was owed this. "Anyhow, the day I nearly plowed you down, I was trying to untangle myself from our marriage. Breaking me emotionally wasn't enough, I guess. Shea had learned I bought this house, and he expected half since our divorce hadn't been finalized. Actually, he wanted half of everything despite an ironclad prenup. But then you hobbled into my life, bleeding and nearly shoeless." Slater smiled at the memory. "I don't know what happened," Slater admitted, hearing the wonder in his voice. "Some spark of life returned to my chest. Then you left, and I missed you like I had never missed Shea, and it didn't even make sense. I could've reached out, but why would you bother with me? I'm just some guy you met by chance." Despite everything, Slater smiled because meeting Matt had saved him. "So, I thought, I met Tanner years ago. I can just suggest you for the Blue Fires. Put the bug in his ear, and then if you got a spot, you would move to New Orleans. I could see you. Maybe convince you to more than see me. Except Tanner said he had no plans for any of the players because he wanted to sell the team. It seems your brother temporarily quitting made him realize he had spread himself too thin. He owns three teams between pro, minors, and sledge."

Slater swallowed as his throat swelled. He knew he had come to the part Matt wouldn't likely forgive. "So I told him if he would at least look at you, and if he liked what he saw, set you up with a meeting with Coach Levy, then I would buy the team at asking price. I didn't ask him to ensure you a spot. Only to help you get seen. You still had to earn it. He did what I asked. You impressed everyone all on your own, and I bought the team under one of my company names. I know you deserved to know. But I was scared of exactly this and I was right. I told you, you terrify me. This is why. You're the only one who can break what you rebuilt without even knowing you did it."

Matt sniffed. His entire body shuddered.

Slater closed his eyes as pain washed over him. He never meant to hurt Matt. He never would. Slater loved Matt like he had never loved anyone. If he had known a person could be this in love, he never would've fallen for Shea's bullshit.

Matt took a shaky-sounding breath. When he spoke, his tears sounded in his voice, breaking Slater. "You spoke to him with so much hatred. The only way you could hate him that much is if you loved him just as much."

Matt seemed determined to drag every secret pain from him. "It's not about him. It's about my brother."

Matt rolled in his arms and held his stare. His face was a mess of tears and blotchy skin. He was still the most beautiful man in the world to Slater. With the confession in the air and Matt looking at him, Slater realized something he should have all along. Matt would understand his feelings, because he too knew what it was like to love brothers who didn't love him back.

Slater shrugged. "Of all the people in the world I thought would never betray me, Tier topped that list. We'd stuck together our whole lives, trying to survive the pressure of our mom and our titles. I thought there was no one closer to me in the entire world. Hell, he was even the best man at our wedding. Then, after they were caught, he was… cold. I don't know how else to describe it." Slater turned inside himself, recalling that day and the way his brother had looked—so unfazed. "It was like they were meant to be—like he thought I should see that, and simply pretend Shea and I had never married. Like I shouldn't care at all I had just caught him fucking my husband." Slater came back to the present. He focused on the understanding in Matt's eyes. "Not once has he apologized. He's not sorry. I think, to this day, he believes I was somehow in the wrong—like I had stolen Shea first. I stood in the way of their love." Slater shook his head. "He's the one I lost that day. For that, I couldn't possibly hate Shae more."

To his surprise, Matt cuddled close and buried his face against Slater's chest. He sniffed occasionally but didn't speak. Slater didn't know if he was forgiven or if they were okay. He realized— just like his brother—he hadn't apologized. Explanations weren't always enough.

He kissed the top of Matt's head. "I'm so fucking sorry for not telling you everything sooner. There's no excuse. I just didn't want to lose you or have you look at me differently."

Matt's head shot up, barely missing knocking out Slater's teeth. Outrage stared at him. "Why would I look at you differently?"

Slater shrugged. "I guess I feel like everyone I know, who also knows about Shea, sees me as an idiot."

Matt pushed at Slater's chest. He looked enraged as he shoved Slater onto his back and straddled his body. "You're not an idiot. That guy is a fucking moron. He had you and chose someone else. What a goddamn loser. No one in their right mind would turn their back on your love. So don't ever say any shit like that to me again. I love you for real. This relationship isn't a fucking game to me. If you ever keep anything from me again, I'll punch you in the goddamn balls." His voice softened. "But the one thing I won't do is lose us. We're each other's person. We don't carry things alone anymore. You're supposed to know that. Why don't you know that?" Matt sounded so defeated. It hurt Slater's chest.

His throat swelled. He worried he might be the one who cried. "I'm supposed to be the strong one." His voice broke, but he kept going. "Dukes can't show weaknesses."

"Mine can."

Slater swiped the back of his hand down Matt's jaw. "I love you so much."

Matt settled down on Slater's chest, snuggling in—like he planned to stay there for a while. "You'd better. You ruined my idea for your Christmas present."

A laugh burst from Slater at the strange comment. "How's that?"

"Since you already have everything, I thought maybe you'd want me for Christmas. I thought about possibly asking you to marry me. But now I know you've been there and done that. That's not likely to be something you'll ever want again."

Matt ended up beneath him. Slater didn't recall rolling, but he stared down at Matt's surprised face. "Of course I want that. Why wouldn't I want that?"

Matt blinked, as if still trying to recover from being attacked. "I just figured marriage had been soured for you."

Slater shook his head. "A year ago, I would've agreed. Since meeting you, I've realized everything happens for a reason. That reason is because I belong to you."

A wicked smile stretched Matt's lips. "Then maybe we'll see what happens come the holiday. If you're good."

A growl rose in Slater's throat. Matt drove him insane in the best ways. Still, there was no way he would last until Christmas.

Fifteen minutes ago, Matt had been done. In fact, he had never been more finished with anyone in his life. So much made sense now, though. The day they had met, and Matt had confessed his brother refused to help him, Matt had seen something in Slater. They had shared a moment. An unspoken bond. Matt saw it now. They really had been predestined. They couldn't fail.

Now that Matt saw everything clearly, and a weight had lifted from his chest, he still needed to get a little even for that team-buying shit. Matt still wasn't sure he could stay with the team. He already worried he would be exposed as a fraud. Matt didn't know if he could live with this knowledge. But, right now, he needed to torment Slater.

Slater looked beyond aggravated by Matt, refusing to say whether he would still propose. That was okay. He would live. After all, Matt didn't want the surprise ruined. Plus, Slater seemed determined to convince him. He sucked Matt's neck, making him burn. Matt was willing to let Slater try to sway him.

Matt's hands found their way beneath Slater's shirt. He loved the gigantic bear of a man who made him feel warm and safe. "Goddamn. I love everything about you. If you knew how much I obsess over you, you'd be scared of me."

Slater hummed against his neck. "Good. I want your every thought to belong to me."

Matt's knees lifted because he needed to feel Slater's body against his inner thighs. Every detail got him hotter by the second. "I want it."

Slater shoved Matt's shirt upward, as if desperate to strip him. "Tell me what you want. I need to hear it."

Matt wouldn't play coy. This wasn't a game. He was on fire. "I want you inside me."

"Do you still want to marry me?"

Matt laughed. "You're evil."

Slater lifted his head. His eyes looked softer than they ever had. "No. Not really. You can keep your secrets about Christmas. I just need to know I haven't ruined anything. I need to know you still have dreams for us."

Matt cupped Slater's face. "Baby, we're the only dream I have. Nothing matters more to me than us."

Slater turned his head and kissed Matt's wrist. "I'm so in love with you."

Matt couldn't look away from the truth written all over Slater's face. He was a man in love. "Then make love to me."

Slater slowly lowered his head. Matt memorized every second. Then their lips met, and the mood changed. Heat exploded through their kiss. Matt tore at the front of Slater's pants. He hummed when his fingers encircled Slater's erection. Slater made a sound that vibrated around their entwined tongues. Matt's insides melted. He had done that. Matt was the reason Slater made that noise. Slater pushed and shoved at Matt's jeans while Matt did the same. The instant their cocks were out, Slater molded against him, as if he didn't have the patience to wait to get inside Matt. He rocked, rubbing their dicks together.

Matt turned his head and gasped. He could barely breathe with the pleasure stealing his air. Slater sucked his neck as he made love to Matt with the bare minimum of nudity and zero penetration. None of that mattered. Slater knew how to please him. He always played Matt's body like a master. With Slater's thick cock rubbing his at a steady pace, the pressure built faster than expected. Matt couldn't focus on anything else. The sexiness of the moment mixed with the friction and the knowledge it was Slater's dick bringing him pleasure. Matt grabbed the headboard and hung on. His hips lifted as he ground himself against Slater, taking what he wanted. Slater tensed. A rhythmic moan vibrated against the side of his neck. Matt held his breath. The pressure climbing his shaft exploded into ecstasy. Slater cried out, as if he had barely held out for Matt's orgasm. A mess of cum filled the space between them, ruining their clothes. Slater's mouth found his again and their tongues played as their skin cooled. Matt wanted to stay like this all day. He wanted to stay like this for the rest of his life. Slater would definitely get that ring for Christmas. Whatever it took, they would be married by Valentine's Day. He couldn't let Slater get away. Slater was the one.