Chapter Four

Life moved slower without his career. There was no more packed traveling schedule or back-to-back games and practices. There was just Matt, and the new boundaries he drew in the sand. It took longer in a slow economy to sell his condo than he expected. Luckily, he got more than twice what he paid. Matt was also grateful it still sold fairly quickly, considering the large price tag. He wanted out before his mom showed up, wanting to know why he had removed her from all his accounts and stopped taking her calls. The truth was, he had blocked her. In fact, he had blocked everyone except Harlan. Not that anyone ever called.

With his condo gone and the money to relocate, Matt decided not to buy anything else right away. Not only did he not know where he wanted to go, he also had a faint hope he would get picked up by a different team. If that happened, he would have to go wherever they were. His agent still had feelers out, quietly making inquiries. Life was silent. Sometimes, he wanted to call it empty, but silent sounded less depressing.

He traveled a bit while trying not to blow through his money. Matt didn't go or stay anywhere expensive. He just did as Slater suggested. Matt chose to take a step back. His mind shied away from thinking of Slater too much. He still didn't understand why those two days had impacted him the way they had. Sometimes, that forty-eight hours out of time didn't feel real. It was as if—when Matt slammed his head on the concrete—he had slipped into a coma. Slater had merely been a dream, never fully realized. Yet he left Matt forever changed. It seemed so odd to realize it had been six months since their encounter. Matt still couldn't stop thinking about him.

Cold air blasted Matt's face as he shot puck after puck into the net. Without the pressure of performance, Matt didn't feel as slow. He hadn't stopped practicing or hoping. Every day, it felt a little more fruitless. With radar sitting on the ice next to the goal, Matt kept track of his progress every day. An app on his phone tracked his ups and downs. He honestly thought he had more good days than bad. Matt still believed he had what it took to play with the big dogs. Unfortunately, it seemed he had more confidence in himself than anyone else.

"You see what I was telling you, Tanner? He's a good fit for the Blue Fires. In fact, he might even have what it takes to move to your pro team soon enough."

At the Irish accent that bordered on British, Matt's gaze shot to the stands. Slater stood elbow to elbow with the owner of New Orleans' teams, Tanner Paige. He blinked. It couldn't be true. Slater wore an expensive suit. His beard was gone, but it was definitely him. Matt couldn't breathe. What was the pair doing at the small hole-in-the-wall rink Matt rented two days a week?

Tanner waved for Matt to join them at the wall. Matt skated in their direction while trying not to stare at Slater. Jesus. How could he miss someone he barely knew so badly? Matt slid to a stop at the edge of the wall. His gaze slid Slater's way. He had to force himself to focus on Tanner.

"Mr. Paige."

Tanner nodded at the greeting. "Hey, Matt. Your family tried to reach you a couple of months back to invite you to my house for a surprise party for Rider. You've fallen off the map."

Matt tried to hide the pain that sliced through him at the mention of his family. "I suppose I have."

Tanner made a dismissive motion. "Enough about that. Slater here has been singing your praises. I admit, this is the first I heard of you leaving the Canadian league. If Rider had said something, I could've gotten you a spot in minors at the end of last season. You were on fire back when you played for Portland."

He had done amazing in minors. Matt shouldn't have left for bigger things. Bigger things obviously weren't for him. Still, Matt chose to be honest. "I talked to Rider after I was released. He rightfully declined to help me." He didn't look Slater's way. Matt didn't want him to think he was ungrateful, but Matt hadn't earned this meeting.

"That must've been when Rider and I were having our tiff. I imagine he would've rather crawled across broken glass than to ask me for a damn thing."

It had never once occurred to Matt that Rider might have denied him for personal reasons. Matt just assumed he was tired of fixing Matt's problems. Either way, Matt needed to know he earned a spot. He couldn't return to the ice in a pity placement.

Matt hated himself a little, but he had to be true to himself. "No matter the reason, he was right. If I don't deserve a spot on a team, then I don't deserve it."

Tanner laughed. As a bear of a man, his loud guffaw fit his appearance. "That right there already proves you deserve it. If you didn't live for this game, you wouldn't give a shit if you mucked things up. I'll give Coach Levy a call tonight. We'll hash it out."

All Matt could do was blink.

Thankfully, Slater took control. "Thanks for making the trip to take a look for yourself. I hate knowing so much talent is going to waste."

Tanner slapped Slater across the back. The move proved how solid Slater was. He didn't budge. "Anything for your family. It's been years, but old friendships don't die."

Matt had no fucking clue what was happening.

"I'll walk you out." Skater's gaze slid Matt's way for a moment. "You should change."

Matt couldn't look away from him, even as he headed for the door with Tanner. The two talked and laughed like old friends. Matt assumed old money knew old money. He had no idea. The entire situation was wild as fuck. But Slater was here, and he spoke as if he planned to return. Matt hurriedly gathered his radar and headed to change. He didn't realize how hard he smiled until he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Matt hadn't thought they would see each other again. This was surreal as hell. He desperately wanted to get back to Slater.

By the time he removed his skates, Slater appeared. Matt froze. His hands didn't want to work any longer. Slater's mouth quirked in one corner. He looked sexy and devilish. Fuck, he was so much bigger than Matt remembered.

"Hello, Matt."

His heart skipped a beat. He took a breath. "Your Grace."

A smile snapped to Slater's lips. He laughed.

"You look happy." Matt didn't know why he said it. Unfortunately, he didn't stop there. "Is it odd that I've missed you?"

Slater's expression changed, turning heated. It got harder to breathe. Slater shook his head as he closed the distance between them. He pulled Matt to his feet. "Not at all, because I've missed the fuck out of you." Then Matt was in his arms and Slater's tongue was in his mouth. It happened so naturally, as if they always belonged together. But the spark nearly burned Matt to the ground. Slater held the back of his head and explored Matt's mouth. He was in charge. Matt was just hanging on for dear life.

Slater pulled away and brushed noses with him. "You looked incredibly sexy out there." His hand found its way beneath Matt's shirt. He traced the line of Matt's waistband. "Of course, you look pretty damn sexy right here too."

Matt didn't know what happened in the last six months. What Slater had let go to finally be with him, but Matt had never been happier to see anyone in his life.

A smile snapped to Matt's lips. He touched Slater's jaw. "You're looking pretty sexy yourself. What made you decide to lose the beard?"

With a chuckle, Slater took a step back. "I finished ruminating."

Matt's face hurt. He felt like he never smiled any longer. He couldn't stop with Slater there. A thought hit and his smile faltered. "If I get a job because of what you did today, I didn't earn it."

"Of course you did. Tanner only agreed to come here because it's you. He knows your record. You should've seen his expression when I told him you're no longer playing for a team. He looked like a kid on Christmas."

Matt hoped that was true. He peeled off his shirt. "How did you know where to find me?"

A hint of guilt passed over Slater's features. "Before you left, I sent an invite from your phone to mine to let me see your location. I wanted to make sure you made it home safely." Slater shrugged. "Then I couldn't bring myself to stop checking on you."

Oddly, Matt was completely unbothered. Slater was very much a take-charge person. Fatherly, in a lot of ways. Tracking his phone was exactly something Matt would expect from him. He also knew Slater had no ill intent. Honestly, it made him feel a little warm and fuzzy that Slater had worried and kept watch. Matt took off his pants.

"You're not saying anything. If you're upset, I understand."

Matt pulled on his street clothes. "I'm not upset at all." He glanced up from his spot in the middle of putting on his shoes and winked. "I'm trying to hurry so we can spend time together." With his shoes on, Matt stood. He snagged the two halves of Slater's expensive-looking suit jacket and held on as he closed the gap between them. "It's hot as hell to know you worried about me. Maybe being important to someone is my kink."

The heat in Slater's eyes was enough to make Matt pant. He was so goddamn sexy. "Maybe having a boy to obsess about is mine."

Matt got the feeling Slater wasn't joking. His words almost sounded like a warning. For some reason, that turned Matt on. Matt held his stare. "As long as you intend to stop obsessing from afar, I could be into that."

A sexy smirk touched Slater's lips. "You should definitely grab your things."

"In a second." He had to taste that smirk. Matt leaned in and Slater met him halfway. They shared a kiss so sweet, it made Matt's heart skip a beat. Matt pulled away. "Now I'm ready."

Again, Matt didn't know what had changed in the last six months, but he wanted this. He wanted Slater. Matt knew deep in his soul Slater was someone he could love.

Part of Slater wanted to kick his own ass for waiting six months. Realistically, though, he knew he had needed that distance. When Matt left, and Slater couldn't stop thinking about him, he realized a lot of things. The biggest one being Matt wasn't Shea. Slater had opened himself to being taken advantage of in a thousand ways with Matt. Yet Matt hadn't even tried. He had seen the hurt in Slater and respected it as a boundary. Matt had accepted his kindness, but he had gone home the second he felt he should. Matt hadn't asked anything of Slater, even though —if he had—Slater likely would have given him anything. That was who Slater was. He hadn't been simply talking earlier. Slater lived to obsess over his boy. His soul recognized Matt as that boy. But Matt had given him time to process and heal without expectations. There was no way Slater could stay away.

Now, he almost wished he hadn't while staring at Matt's living situation. He tried coming to terms with it while he waited for Matt to shower. Slater tried focusing on the one-piece pajamas he had bought Matt. They were on the unmade bed, proving Matt wore them. That didn't make him feel better. That only meant he had left his boy in this situation.

Slater turned in a circle and eyed the room. While he had known from stalking Matt that he currently stayed in a pay-by-the-week hotel, he hadn't realized how shady the place looked. The room was awful. The neighborhood was sketchy. He needed to know more. "Are you in the process of finding a permanent place to live?" Slater asked the second Matt stepped from the bathroom.

In nothing but a towel, and still moist from his shower, Matt tossed him a laughing glance. "I guess this place seems pretty bad to you." He dug through his suitcase, finding something to wear. "To answer your question, no."

That horrified Slater. "Why? Surely you don't intend to live here."

A sexy chuckle rumbled from Matt as he pulled on a pair of jeans. "I'm trying to save money while I figure out my next step. My agent put out some feelers, searching for any interested teams. If he finds me one in a different state, or even country, I have to be ready to go at the drop of a hat. When I get where I'm going, I'll focus on finding a place to live." He looked Slater's way. "This place is nothing. You should've seen some of the dives I stayed in while working my way up to pro. Some of these leagues will have you staying in places so shady you're hoping it's not blood on the ceiling of hotel rooms."

The distaste was real and thick. His boy would not live like this. "Gather your things. You'll stay with me."

Matt's smile never dimmed. "You don't have to worry about me. I know you've seen me at my lowest, but I'm also ridiculously adept at surviving."

Annoyance reared its head. "That wasn't actually a request."

Matt's smile turned cocky as he pulled on a t-shirt and closed the distance between them. "What will you do if I don't obey?"

Slater had his number. "It's not about what I'll do. It's what I won't do."

Matt's smile faltered. His gaze slid away.

Guilt slammed into Slater. Sometimes Matt seemed too sure of himself. It made Slater forget it was a facade. He was still learning his worth.

Slater snagged his waist and hauled him forward. He kissed the corner of Matt's mouth. "Please? I'll sleep better knowing you're safe." He swiped his tongue across Matt's bottom lip. "And next to me."

Matt took a shaky-sounding breath. "Okay."

God. He made Slater weak. Matt was such a mixture of sexy and confident while also being needy and blind to his exquisiteness. Slater was under his spell. When Matt had returned Slater's wallet, he had saved him and didn't even realize it. That had nothing to do with the wallet. He still felt bad about making Matt doubt himself.

Slater held Matt's jaw so Matt couldn't look away. "I would never manipulate you."

Matt looked turned on as hell with his flushed cheeks and needy eyes. "But you would punish me."

He supposed his earlier threat sounded that way. Still, there was no denying the arousal in Matt's tone. "Do you want to be punished?"

Matt licked his lips. "I don't know."

Fuck. He was perfect. "Maybe we should find out." Slater trailed his hand down Matt's body, savoring every inch until he could reach around and squeeze his ass. Then he smacked his ass and squeezed again, hard.

Matt gasped and then whimpered.

Slater's hard cock leaked pre-cum at the sound. Their faces were inches away. Tension built between them. The air practically crackled with the sparks flying.

"More."

The demand snapped something inside Slater. Slater never lost control. He did then. His mouth slammed against Matt's. He tongued Matt's mouth, tasting. There was no finesse. Only need. He pushed at the jeans Matt still hadn't buttoned or zipped. The moment he had them to Matt's knees, he used Matt's shirt like a tool. He pulled it up and over Matt's head. Before Matt's final arm left the sleeve, Slater twisted, tangling the material around his wrist. He then used the momentum as he turned to have Matt face down and ass up, bent over the bed. The hungry sounds coming from Matt drove him. Slater never acted like this. He was a gentle daddy. Not today. He had to have Matt.

Slater hadn't missed the bottle of lube that sat on the nightstand. He grabbed it and tossed it on the bed. "We'll discuss why you have this so conveniently placed later."

Matt turned his head and focused on the bottle. "It's for my toys. I like to fuck them while wearing my onesie pajamas and thinking about you."

Matt's claim had Slater so horny, he thought he might go blind. He tore through his wallet and found a condom. Slater's pants and underwear pooled around his ankles the moment he ripped open the front. He desperately rolled the condom down his length. His hands shook as he lubed his fingers and spread Matt's cheeks. That asshole he wanted waited, looking as needy as Slater felt. He roughly oiled Matt's hole, probing and stretching. The muffled noises coming from Matt drove him. It wasn't until Slater impaled Matt so hard and fast Matt's feet left the ground that a hint of sanity returned. His shirt and even his jacket were still buttoned. He still wore his shoes. Slater thought he understood his depth for arousal before Matt. He hadn't. Slater had never wanted anyone like this. It was animalistic. Base. He would kill for this man.

His tight asshole suckled Slater. Slater couldn't resist thrusting. He pumped inside Matt, trying to regain a hint of control. Lust was in charge. Slater was merely along for the ride. He changed angles until Matt scratched at the mattress and begged.

Matt moved to reach beneath himself, as if he planned to pleasure himself.

Slater saw red. "No. I'm here now. You'll come for my dick."

Matt whimpered, as if he was in pain, but he obeyed. He grasped the covers, knuckles turning white. "Please? I can't come like this. I've never blown from only internal stimulation. Let me." He moved impatiently, as seeking anything to rub his cock against.

Slater slapped his ass. "You'll come for me."

A loud moan filled the air.

Slater worked harder at pleasuring him. His phone rang. Slater buried himself deep and held himself there, savoring the way Matt's body felt. He unbuttoned his jacket and found his phone. Slater checked the face. It was Tanner.

"Are you really answering that right now?"

The annoyance in Matt's voice had evil rising inside him. He answered, "This is Slater."

Slater made tiny thrusts, ensuring he held Matt's focus.

"It's Tanner. I just spoke with Coach Levy about Matt. He was just as excited as me to learn Matt no longer played for the Canadian league. Matt has a private skate on tryout tomorrow at ten a.m."

"I'll let him know."

"Good. Would you also let him know his brother Harlan is worried about him? They used to talk at least once a week. Harlan hasn't heard from him in months and Matt isn't answering his calls." Something about the request made him curious and also irritated him, but Matt's asshole overshadowed any true, clear thought.

"I'll pass that along."

"Good luck tomorrow. Keep me posted."

Slater kept up the thrusting, enjoying the ride. "I will. Talk to you then."

"Sounds good. Bye."

Slater disconnected the call and tossed his phone on the bed. He peeled off his jacket and let it hit the floor before going to work on his tie and the buttons on his shirt. His hips never stopped rocking. Matt had gone quiet beneath him, as if punishing him for answering the phone. Once Slater had his upper body free, he made it better. Slater grabbed Matt's hips, repositioned his body, and thrust hard, hitting that internal button.

A needy whimper burst from Matt.

Slater didn't slow. He kept impaling Matt at the same angle, taking what he wanted while ensuring Matt enjoyed it every bit as much. Tension had the small of his back tingling as pressure tightened his balls and climbed his shaft. His every breath came harder than the last. For the first time, he questioned his ability to actually make someone come by using only his cock. Matt made him fucking insane. He felt too good. Slater wanted him too badly and for too long. He wouldn't make it. If he slowed, he might stave off his orgasm, but he would also lose whatever progress he had made with Matt. He almost gave in and played with Matt's dick. Honestly, Slater really wanted to play with Matt's dick.

Slater couldn't take it. He couldn't come first. Pride would never allow it. Slater kicked his way out of his shoes and pants. Then he pulled out and slapped Matt's ass again.

"On the bed. I want you on your back."

Matt scrambled to obey.

The moment he was on his back, Slater joined him on the bed. He crawled between Matt's thighs. Slater watched pre-cum smear across Matt's stomach. He licked his lips. Soon he would taste Matt's cum. Not right now, though. Right now, it was time for Matt to blow.

Slater led his dick to Matt's hole and shoved. Matt's body gave way, accepting him like coming home. Before he made a second good thrust, Matt's abs rippled. In a sexy show, he rolled upward and snagged the back of Slater's neck. His mouth found Slater's throat as he pulled him down. Matt sucked and bit. Slater lost himself. Sensations overwhelmed him with Matt's mouth on his skin. His tongue swiped at Slater's skin, sending chill bumps racing down his spine. They moved against each other. Matt fucked him back. Slater wasn't in control any longer, and it was the hottest moment in his life. He stopped thinking about his next move. Nothing mattered except the way they felt together. He focused on the pleasure. Slater memorized every second. Matt's muscles tensed. Slater held his breath. He had to experience every minutia of Matt's orgasm. When it happened, Slater swore he saw heaven. Then the convulsions of Matt's body sucked him over the edge. He thrust as hard as he could over and over, riding every wave while trying to make more. Thoughts raged through his mind that scared the fuck out of Slater. He realized things he could never unlearn. Matt said things and made noises, but none of it made sense to Slater's overstimulated brain.

"You terrify me." The confession fell and Slater refused to take it back.

With his arms wrapped around Slater's neck, Matt held his stare. His intensity added to Slater's fear. Matt rode the waves of Slater's orgasm with him. For the first time, it felt like he watched someone steal a piece of his soul.

"Why are you scared?" Matt sounded breathless but clear-headed.

Slater was the one who was out of control. "I could love you." He claimed Matt's mouth before he said more. But as the final twitch nearly made his spine bow, Slater couldn't stop himself from saying it again, because he had never meant anything or feared anything more in his life. "I could love you." And love always destroyed him.