32. 32

32

Kall e

I 'm surprised I fall asleep.

I'm not surprised I have the dream.

This time I'm back in Edie's father's truck. She's with me, and so is Dad, bleeding on the bench seat between us. Edie has her hands pressed against his stomach and there's so much blood.

Faster, faster , she says. And then suddenly it's, watch out, watch out . It's not the turtle on the side of the road, but a car.

Mom's car.

Mom's car is on the side of the road and I'm barreling toward it. I see Lyra in the backseat window, screaming and just before I hit—

I wake up.

I wake up gasping and shaking and also sweating, even though the blankets have been pushed down.

I sit up. Edie sleeps beside me, curled up with her hands under her chin, and just seeing her soothes me.

Or at least seeing her there tells me it was only a dream.

I slide out of bed and head to the window. The rain has finally stopped in the night and clouds scud across the sky, an inky blue .

My room looks over the ocean and the fierce waves of the last few days seem to have abated, although I can still see the whitecaps. I open the window carefully—sixteenth-century castles don't have great windows—and the sound of the wind and the waves seeps in the room.

"Kalle?"

"Sorry." I push down the window, but it screeches loudly. "Sorry."

"Is everything okay?" A creak of the bed, and Edie is beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I rub her arm, feeling her soft skin still warm from being in the nest of blankets. "I'm going to be king."

"I know," Edie says, squeezing tighter.

I stare out the window. "Someday. I've always known it would be someday, but that day doesn't seem too far off now after last night. I told myself I'd give it to Odin, I'd make him do it, but deep down, I know I wouldn't have done that. Unless he asked for it. Even then, I'm not sure I could have."

"I know."

"It's real now. I'm going to be king. I've been running away from that my entire life."

"I know."

I give a choked laugh. "How do you know all this?"

"Because I know you." I can hear the smile in her voice. "And because it's obvious this has hit you hard."

"Really hard," I admit.

"It'll be okay. Your dad got through the night. He's strong, he'll be okay."

"But the next time? Because there is going to be a next time."

"You'll be ready," Edie promises. "Because you've stopped running."

I mull over her words as I stare out into the sea. It's always felt like I'm on the edge of the world here. The castle sits on top of a cliff; tundra and ice-capped islands lie to the north, and the most barren part of Laandia is to the west. South is Canada. To the east is the cold Atlantic Ocean.

Across the Atlantic is Great Britain and Europe. We're closer to Scotland than to the west coast of Canada.

I think about Prince William for a moment, wondering what went through his mind when his father finally became king. Knowing that his own future is set—the question is just when.

He's not much for sharing though.

I guess I'm not either.

Edie stirs beside me. "It's going to be a nice day." She points to the horizon where there's a band of pinkish purple appearing.

"It's the same colour of Fenella's eyes," I say without thinking.

"What?" Edie looks up at me with a horrified expression. But I can tell there's a smile in her eyes, so I don't think I've said something terribly wrong.

"Sorry." I spread my hands in a gesture of apology. "It just popped into my head. It wasn't thinking about her or anything."

"Must have been thinking a little bit for it to pop in so quickly. She was in the bar last night."

"Uh-oh."

"No, it was fine. We talked a bit. I think I like her."

"Uh-oh," I say again.

"No, she's… not as intimidating as I would have thought."

"No one should intimidate you. "

"Especially since I stopped a bar fight between Jubblie Mark and some guys from Sandro Harbour." There's enough pride in her tone to tell me that however she stopped it, she did more than just raising her voice.

"Do I want to know how you stopped it?"

"You can ask Chase," she says primly. "But the most amazing part was that at least half the bar was standing behind me. I had so much support. It also meant that it would have turned into a real brawl if I hadn't gotten them to go."

"But you did."

"I did."

"Because you can do anything."

"Almost anything," she agrees.

"What's something that you can't do?"

"Get you to kiss me."

"Ah."

The air shifts. I've had fantasies of kissing Edie for years, and now when the reality is in front of me—literally in front of me—I haven't got the faintest idea how to begin. I've kissed… a lot of women, but Edie is the only one I've longed for. I've traced my finger along her lips countless times in my mind, teased her with my tongue in my daydreams.

I want it to be perfect and here—now—I don't know how it can be.

We're both half asleep, Dad is in the hospital and I compared the beginning of the sunrise to another woman's eyes.

But I've never left a woman wanting before.

Edie is still looking at me, so I reach down and tilt her chin just a little higher. "If it was up to me, I'd be kissing you every minute of every day. You wouldn't be able to do anything because I'd be kissing you so much. But this first one, because I've waited so long, I want to be perfect."

"Perfect is too much pressure," Edie whispers.

"Let's see what you can do, then."

Her eyes widen, and then she's up on her tiptoes, one hand fisting in my T-shirt, the other winding behind my head, pulling me down. Her lips mash against mine, missing half my mouth, and it's so far from perfect that she pulls back with a laugh.

"You're too tall," she cries.

I pick her up and set her on my dresser beside the window. "Better?"

"Much."

This time I take the lead, cupping her cheek and leaning into her slowly, so slowly that Edie has time to wet her lips and open them slightly.

Yes, I'm teasing her by making her wait, but it's fun.

I kiss her forehead, her temple, the apple of her cheek, and then move down to the corner of her mouth. Then I kiss the other side.

Edie whimpers softly.

"Are you sure?" I whisper. "Because once I kiss you, there's no going back."

"Because you think it's going to be that good?"

"Because I won't be able to let you go. Sixteen years, Edie, is a very long time." I press my lips against hers, finally kissing her properly.

And

It's

Prett y

Darn

Perfect.

Edie's lips are so soft and part under mine so sweetly.

I've kissed a lot of women but I don't do a lot of heavy kissing and now I can't understand why not. Because the way Edie kisses, she puts everything into it. Hands in my hair, legs—oh, she's wrapped her legs around my waist—and her mouth moves under mine like we've been doing this forever.

We've wasted sixteen years. We could have been doing this forever.

My arm wraps around her waist as I lean into her. Her skin is so soft as I grip the side of her neck to tilt her just so and make it that much better.

She moans softly as my tongue slips between her lips. My stomach does flips, tight knot undone and floating in the wind, but I still pull back for a moment.

"Is this okay?" I whisper against her mouth.

Edie kisses me in response, kisses me as soundly as any other woman has ever kissed me.

I don't want to think of any other woman, ever again. All I want to think about is Edie.

Which is why I begin to trail kisses down her throat. "I… need to know… if you can handle this," I plead between tastes of her soft skin, each a raindrop to a dying man. "Edie, please."

"Yes," she breathes, her head tipping to the side.

"Handle me. This is a lot."

She lifts her head to look at me, and as soon as I'm caught in her gaze, I know she knows I'm not talking about getting physical with her .

"As long as I have you, I can handle everything," she tells me.

The sun rises over a perfect day in Laandia and I'm kissing Edie England as it happens.