30. 30

30

Kalle

T he caravan of SUVs drives back to the castle at a much slower pace this time.

There's a sense of excitement, mixed with exhaustion. Smiles, through the tears.

Mrs. Theissen greets us at the door, her gray hair less severe, wearing a cardigan over loose pants, a far cry from her usual austere outfits.

I feel her gaze observing everything as we file into the foyer. "I'm so glad he's okay," she says. "Can I get you anything?"

"I don't want to go to bed," Lyra says. "I can't sleep."

"Why don't I fix you a snack?" Mrs. Theissen suggests. She glances at me. "I'll bring it to the big office."

Bo squeezes her arm with a tight smile. "That'll be perfect."

Silently, we head to Dad's office, which is more of a man cave/place to hang out than an office where business is conducted.

It even smells like the king.

Evidence of him is everywhere, even more than I have at the bar. Gold records and framed pictures hang on the wall; his gold medal and the shotput he uses as a paperweight. Books are everywhere because Dad loves to read .

There's still a photo of Mom on his desk, and a huge framed one of the seven of us hangs behind his desk. It's not the official family picture that hangs in one of the halls, but a casual one that Duncan took one day after dinner.

We're grouped around Dad, who is seated at the head of the table. Lyra, at fifteen, hangs over his shoulder; Mom has her arms around Bo like she's drawing him into the shot. Odin and Gunnar stand side by side with identical smiles on their faces.

I look a lot like my father.

Everyone looks at that picture when they come in.

Except for me—my attention is caught by a picture of Dad, Dante, and my grandfather, Euan.

I'm older than my father was when he became king.

Did he feel this fear? This out-of-control-ness, like a roller coaster that's about to fly off the rails? The complete certainty of knowing that I have no idea what to do now?

Euan had a heart attack; it was quick and painless. One moment he was alive, and the next my father was king.

I've been spared that—for now. But someday in the future… that's going to be me.

Gunnar and Stella sink onto the leather couch, while Lyra perches on Dad's big desk, swinging her legs, and Bo takes the chair behind the desk but pulls it around beside the couch.

Spencer hovers near Lyra and I start to pace again.

Once again, I'm having trouble breathing. But then Edie is there, sweeping into the room just as Mrs. Theissen brings a platter of sandwiches and cookies, the cook following with two pitchers of Dad's honey mead that has Bo and Gunnar cheering.

I'm happier to see Edie .

And this time, she comes right to me.

Without a word, Edie puts her arms around my waist and I pull her in close. She fits nicely there under my chin.

"It's okay now," she whispers.

Because you're here . But I don't say it. Not yet.

No one asks why Edie is here. There's no reaction save a quick intake of breath from Lyra. Stella came back with us, but Duncan is her father, Spencer her half-brother, so even without her new relationship with Gunnar, she has a reason to be there.

Since she's been estranged from Duncan and Spencer for so long, I think it's good that Stella is here.

Bur Edie doesn't have any family connections with the castle, so she's here for me.

She's mine.

The sandwiches quickly vanish, as does the mead, and Bo disappears to get a refill. I finally stop pacing and take the second couch with Bo and Lyra, with Edie tucked in beside me.

I like her close.

"This changes things, you know," Spencer finally says to me. "Legally."

"What do you mean?" Stella asks and then draws back like she spoke out of turn.

"The king will be indisposed during his recovery," Spencer continues. "We've given a statement—" He nods at Edie. "Thank you for that. But even so, appearances need to be maintained. With Odin stepping back—"

"The rest of us have to show we're still in the picture," I finish.

"We'll postpone the trip," Gunnar says to Stella, and to her credit, she doesn't even look disappointed as she nods .

"You don't have to," I tell him, the weight settling on my shoulders not as heavy as I expected. "I'll do it. I can step in for Dad. Whatever is needed."

Edie's fingers slip into mine.

Later, after Stella nods off and Lyra begins the non-stop chatter that always signals she's tired, I do the big brother thing and order everyone to bed until it's only Edie and me.

She stacks the dishes on Dad's desk in neat piles. "They're all to bed, so I'll get going," she says hesitantly, even as she gives a huge yawn.

"You're not driving home."

"How do you propose I get there then? Fly?"

"Stay here."

Her eyes are wide and wary as she looks up at me. "Kalle…"

"Stay with me. Like last night. Just… stay."

I don't want to say how much I want her to. That watching her leave will be too much for me tonight. That I was already close to breaking until she showed up, both here and in the hospital.

That she might not be my security blanket but she does make me feel safe.

Edie nods and I let out a ragged breath. "But you can't hold what I gave you to wear last night against me," she points out. "I don't keep giant-sized clothes in my apartment."

"Maybe you should start," I tell her with a smile .

I have no idea what I'm waiting for; the perfect moment is never going to come. I've gone all out as Mr. Romance before and part of me thinks Edie deserves that and more.

And then I stop myself because I wonder if she deserves me. Not me me , but all the baggage I've been born with.

The whole royal thing.

I know now that I never took a chance with Edie because I wasn't ready for it. It would have been good, but she would have eventually tired of my one-syllable answers and bad moods, and there where would I be? Without Edie or my friend.

It might have been Mathias's interest in her that gave me a kick in the butt, or maybe just a coincidence, but it's time to step out of the friend zone.

I'm standing in the batter's box waiting for the perfect pitch and I'm afraid if I wait too long, I'm going to talk myself out of it, like I've been doing for years.