36. Kristina

36

KRISTINA

The first thing I felt was him. A glorious presence behind me in the bed, a warmth that pressed against my back all the way from shoulders to ankles. I tried to nestle back into him and it was wonderful. This is what it’s like to wake up with someone.

The second thing was the change in me. Not just the warm, pleasant ache between my thighs or the way my breasts still throbbed with the memory of his hard fingers. I’d done it. That moment I’d been thinking about for so long had happened. It had been completely different to the way I’d imagined it: a four poster bed and Egyptian cotton sheets and some earnest, well-bred man atop me. And so, so much better.

The third thing I couldn’t figure out at first because it was something that was missing. I lay there trying to figure it out for a few minutes and then sat up, frowning .

Garrett sat up, too, and kissed my bare shoulder. Then he got up and ambled across the room and started making coffee. His naked ass made it difficult to concentrate, but this was important. What was it that was missing?

Then I got it, and drew in my breath. I hadn’t had the nightmare.

“Something wrong?” Garrett passed me a cup of coffee and sat down on the bed.

I shook my head and smiled a shy smile. No! Everything was so very right!

But he turned and glanced at the door that led out to the suite. Where Emerik and Jakov and Caroline and reality were waiting. Then he looked towards the window. I followed his gaze and my stomach filled with cold dread.

It was dawn. In just a few hours, we’d have to go to his friend’s airfield. Then I’d get on a plane. Without him.

“No,” I said tightly. “I want to stay.”

“It’s dangerous here—”

“I don’t care.”

“Kristina—”

“This is the first time,” I blurted, my voice cracking, “that I haven’t felt alone!”

He lowered his eyes guiltily . I didn’t want that. I grabbed his hand and, when he looked at me, I leaned forward and slowly kissed him. I needed him to know that I didn’t regret it.

He nodded. But from the way he squeezed my hand, I knew his heart was breaking, too.

“We could make it work,” I whispered. But I knew it wasn’t that simple. I’d had so many years of the them and us, commoner and royalty mentality from the palace staff, from Emerik, and especially from my mother. I didn’t agree with it. But I wasn’t naive enough to think I could just ignore it, either.

And it wasn’t just that. “You deserve better than a grunt,” Garrett told me. “Especially one who’s….” He lowered his eyes and let my hand fall through his fingers.

I grabbed his wrist. “ What? Tell me?” He shook his head. “Garrett, please! You helped me. I want to help you, too.”

But he shook his head again. It was almost as if us being split apart had locked that door for good. He wants me to remember him strong.

He stood and started to pull his clothes on. I sat there slumped and despondent until he’d nearly finished. He leaned down and lifted my chin so that I had to look at him. “I gotta go back to my world,” he told me. “You gotta go back to yours.”

It was everything I should have wanted: back to Lakovia, my parents, my people. A world I understood, a world I was safe in. Back to being a princess.

Except, without him, I didn’t want that anymore.

But my father taught me a long time ago that being royal isn’t about doing what you want. It’s about doing what your people need.

So I nodded, then stood and pressed myself to him in a full body hug. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in tight and we stood there silently for long minutes.

“You’ll find a prince,” he whispered.

“I already did,” I whispered back. I pulled out of his arms and turned away. I kept my back turned to him while I picked out some clothes because I was already blinking. I hurried into the bathroom, turned on the shower and only then did I let myself slump against the door and sob my heart out.

When I emerged, the bedroom was empty. I found everyone in the living room, killing time until our flight by watching TV. It only took me a split second to realize that everyone knew. It must have been obvious as soon as the guards went to relieve Garrett during the night. They’d have found his room empty and my bedroom door closed and….

Emerik was sitting with his hands neatly folded, radiating silent fury in Garrett’s direction. Jakov carefully avoided my eyes. Caroline looked awestruck and excited: tell me everything!

And Garrett just stood by the door, as vigilant and watchful as ever. But when he glanced in my direction, I could see the raw pain in his eyes.

I had to do something or I’d start crying again, so I sat next to Caroline and focused on the TV. It was a news channel and my father was on the screen, standing at a podium at the front of a packed hall.

“He’s in Zurich,” said Caroline. “A speech about our social program.”

I nodded. He was encouraging other countries to do what we’d done: scale back their military and spend on the poor, instead. I leaned in to listen. I was always in awe of the way he could inspire a crowd. Someday, I’d be expected to do the same and I had no idea how.

And then I saw him. Just for a split second, as the camera cut to a different angle. I jumped to my feet .

“What?!” asked Garrett.

“I—” I blinked uncertainly at the screen. No. I couldn’t have. “I thought I saw….” But it was crazy. He was here, in America, not in Zurich. It was just my mind playing tricks on me.

And then I saw him again, and this time I let out a scream. It was him. Dressed in a suit like the other dignitaries, standing at the back of the room. I’d never forget that pale face with its snide, downturned mouth. Silvas Lukin. “ He’s there! Lukin is there!”

We all looked at each other. Everyone made the connection at the same time.

We’d been wrong about this thing the whole time. It wasn’t about just assassinating me.

“ Get him out of the room!” I screamed at Emerik. “Call someone!”

But we’d thrown all of our phones away. Emerik had to waste vital seconds manually dialing on the hotel phone. “I’m calling Aleksander,” he muttered as the number rang. “He’ll be there.”

All of us were staring at the screen, scared to watch, scared to look away. I was dimly aware that I’d grabbed Garrett’s hand and was squeezing it.

“ Code red!” snapped Emerik into the phone. “ Assassin in the room! Evacuate the King!”

He put the phone on speaker and we could hear the rustle of cloth and muffled voices. Long seconds ticked by. “ Hurry!” snapped Emerik.

“I’m sorry!” Aleksander sounded out of breath. “I’m in a crowd, trying to get to a guard!” More muffled voices. I imagined him trying to fight through the tightly-packed bodies. Hurry! Please hurry!

And then we saw the guards on stage suddenly jerk to attention and run to my father. Aleksander must have finally delivered the message. They grabbed the King under the arms and rushed him away from the podium—

A crimson flower erupted on his chest as a gunshot echoed through the room.