Chapter 12

Tess

My routine is settling back to what it was before my romp with a cowboy, and I’m feeling weird about that. We had this amazing first date, but now it’s like he doesn’t have the time to see me again? I don’t know, that seems… weird.

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t care. I have no trouble finding dates, and I have plenty of ways to entertain myself if need be. Except that rowdy cowboy threw me for a loop I didn’t see coming. He rode me hard and put me away wet, only to make me want to do it again. I want to see what else he likes.

When he handcuffed me to the bed, I could see a light come on in his eyes, even though the room was kind of dark. I still saw that half smile on his face as he moved down my belly and tasted me for the first time. He wants more too; I know he does. Or at least I knew he did then.

Now it’s like pulling teeth to get him to respond to my texts half the time. At first, he was flirting back with me, and we were getting into some hot and heavy sexting one night about what we’d do next time we saw each other, which moved on to a FaceTime call. I read those messages over and over when I’m looking for ways to get myself off. So, I pull out my phone and do just that again.

Me: What do you want to try next, Rowdy?

Parker: I want to put that blindfold on you instead of me.

Me: And what will you do once it’s secure?

Parker: Tie your arms behind you so you can’t stop me.

Me: No handcuffs this time?

Parker: No, the chain rattles and the only thing I want to hear is you screaming.

Me: Oh yeah? And how are you gonna make that happen?

Parker: First, I’m going to get a couple nipple clamps.

Me: Someone’s been doing his homework.

Parker: I’ll use those to make sure you’re primed for what comes next.

Me: And what will that be?

Parker: I’ll trail my fingers down your belly, making sure it’s the lightest touch, just enough to torture you into wanting more of me.

Me: But you won’t oblige me will you?

Parker: Not yet. First, I’ll take that little bullet vibrator again and hold it on your clit.

Me: I’ll already be wet for you, I promise that.

Parker: Don’t worry, I’ll stop before you come.

Me: Good. I want this to last.

Parker: I’ll stroke your wet lips, then move to stroke your opening, stopping at your clit to run circles around it with your wetness.

Me: Fuck, I’m getting out my vibrator now. Not the bullet one.

Parker: Turn it on low. I’m not ready for you to come yet.

Me: Yes, sir.

Parker: Oooo I love that. Make sure you say that when we’re together.

Me: Okay it’s on the lowest setting.

Parker: Tease that opening, just like if I was stroking you down there.

Me: Should I get out my nipple clamps too?

Parker: Yes.

Me: Done.

Parker: I’ll stroke that opening until you can’t take it anymore.

Me: I’m already there. I wish you were here with me.

Parker: I’ll stop there and spread your legs out further.

Me: I want you, Parker.

Parker: Turn it up. Go inside like it’s me drilling into you.

Me: I’m gonna Facetime you. I want you to see this.

From there, he watched me on video call, listened to me call out for him when I came, and directed me not to stop after the first time. He was in his bedroom, and I saw him take off his pants then.

He joined me for round two and got himself off while I geared up for another orgasm, and another, and another, and another. After that night, I thought about him and that call every time I pulled out my vibrator. It’s not the same, though. I want him for real.

He’s always busy with work like I am. The one time I was available on my night off, he didn’t answer me for hours, and then when he did, he said that his family had come over for a surprise visit. I’m sure they did, Parker doesn’t seem like the lying type, but at the same time, why didn’t he invite me to come over afterward?

I know it’s really soon to meet anyone’s family. I get that. And I also can’t help but wonder if he doesn’t want them to know all about what I do for a living. I remind myself again that we’ve only had one date. I shouldn’t have any expectations about where this is going.

That one night is at the forefront of my thoughts, though. And the sexting/FaceTime call after. I don’t usually let men take the lead. With Parker, it seems more like teaching and enjoying than letting him take control. I didn’t have any fears about him handcuffing me to that bed. I had no real reason to trust him, but I did.

Now I’m not sure if I should have done so. I don’t know if he’s trustworthy at all. Sure, he’s not the type to lie to me. That’s not the only way for someone to be untrustworthy. He could straight up ghost me, and that would have the same effect.

It’s been a couple of weeks since that date and he still hasn’t made another one. He hasn’t asked me about it at all. What am I supposed to think? It’s another Friday night, so I have to stow these feelings and be a good hostess. I’m on the floor tonight, and I have to be present for everyone here.

That’s another thing, he hasn’t come back to the club either. Parker seemed so interested in everything going on here. I thought he’d at least want to come check out the public play areas again. I know that usually men are supposed to come here with a partner, but I can find him someone who’s good with the newbies.

I wouldn’t mind him practicing and exploring with someone else if I’m on the floor too. It’s not like he’d be fucking them right there in the play area. I can handle that part later on when the night at the club is over. He hasn’t come in after that one night, so all of this is in my head for the time being.

Or maybe it always was in my head, and there’s really nothing more to this than one great night. It can’t be all in my head. I know I saw him enjoying himself too. There for sure was a connection there. Then again, I’ve been wrong about that before too.

On the floor, I walk around the play areas and tend to the regulars. We haven’t had many new people come around, but that’s pretty normal for the season. Usually, we get a lot of newbies after the holidays, people looking to let off some steam after all the stress.

Christmas is coming soon, and it looks like I’ll be spending it without a boyfriend yet again. I don’t know what’s going on with Parker, but to have him be my Christmas date seems pretty far-fetched now that we’re coming up on Thanksgiving and he hasn’t even asked for a second date yet.

I know I can ask him out, this is the twenty-first century after all. But I asked him out for our first date, and we went back to my place too. It’s his turn. Wouldn’t it seem a little desperate to be the one to ask him out for the second date when I did the asking for the first? Do I care if I seem desperate? Ugh, I do care.

I told Lucas that I had a date with Parker. I didn’t tell him the whole story, of course, but he definitely suspects. I didn’t exactly tell him how the date ended, just that Parker kissed me goodnight. I’m pretty sure Lucas gets that it didn’t end there.

He’s asked me if I’ve seen “the cowboy” again, and I just said that I didn’t with no other details. For once, he’s not pressing me on it. That means he heard the disappointment in my voice, and he doesn’t want to pile on my frustration. I know how he works when he’s asking me about sensitive topics. If he sees I’m disappointed, he waits to see how it goes before he jumps in.

Word got around to my mom that the cowboy rescue story didn’t end there. She asked me about my date and if they’d be meeting Parker during the holidays. I didn’t know what to tell her. My family is way too involved in my romantic life, even if they want to pretend I’m not working at a BDSM club for a living.

“What’s going on with you? You seem off,” my boss asks.

Allie is dungeon master again tonight. We’re on break together while the play areas get cleaned between sessions. We have an evening session and a late-night session, and all the materials are cleaned and disinfected thoroughly in between. They get cleaned between users as well, but we find that people spill drinks and trail in dirt on their shoes, so we make sure to do a good cleaning between sessions. Plus, it gives us a little time to eat dinner.

“I’m just not really hungry.”

I push my taco salad around in the container. I’d grabbed it before I came out tonight and kept it in the break room fridge. I’d really been looking forward to it before my brain started in with all this doubting myself bullshit.

“It’s the cowboy, isn’t it?” Damn it, Allie is way too involved in my life too.

“No, it’s fine. We haven’t had time to connect, lately, that’s all.”

“Bullshit. It’s been weeks and you’ve only had that one date.”

I look up at her and smile. “It was a great date, too.”

“I know. You were walking on clouds for like a week after it happened.”

I shove her shoulder lightly. “Shut up, Allie.”

“Seriously, you were all smiles and light. That only happens when you’ve had a truly mind-blowing orgasm. I would know.”

“Yeah, I bet you would.”

Allie is always bringing some guy home, and she’s always all “smiles and light,” as she puts it. I guess it’s been a while since I dated anyone who did the same to me. I don’t know, I’ve been pretty bored with the male offerings around here lately. Parker was refreshing.

Is refreshing. He’s not completely in my rearview yet. I shouldn’t count him out when he does answer me and tell me what’s going on from time to time. Not making another date doesn’t mean he never will.

Fuck! Why am I being like this over a guy? This is so ridiculous. I don’t let guys do this to me, not ever, it’s not me. So why can I only think about him thrusting into me every time I want to get off at all? It’s like his dick enchanted me and I can’t think about anyone.

“You know what the best way to get over someone is right?”

Allie raises her eyebrows under me. I know she wants me to answer, “To get under someone else,” but I’m not feeling the joke right now. I don’t want to get under anyone else. I want to be back in Parker’s arms. I want to fall asleep next to him again after he’s fucked me so hard I don’t want to move.

“Allie, not right now.”

“Fuck, this guy really has a hold on you, doesn’t he?”

“Unfortunately, I think you might be right.”

“Then you know what you have to do,” she says with a serious look.

“No, I don’t actually.”

“Stop wallowing and talk to him!”

“He’s been busy.”

“So go see him at that ranch. You don’t have to wait for him to call you or anything. You know where he is, and you have a way to find out what the hell is going on.”

“Damn it, you’re right about that too.”

“This isn’t you, Tess. Take charge. That’s what you do best.”

I smile at her. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“I know you did. Haven’t you realized yet? I’m a genius,” she says and grabs her leather mask and heads back to the dungeon master’s post to watch the floor.