13. Dylan

CHAPTER 13

DYLAN

I was making a fool of myself, covered in tears with last night’s gin oozing out of my pores, but Alex spread his fingers against the small of my back and hitched my body closer to his anyway. He licked his way into my mouth, only kissing me for a second before working his way down my chin to my throat. I arched into him and the firm press of his hand on my back was strong enough to hold me up while I melted beneath his touch.

“You infuriate me,” he murmured against my throat.

Then I was on my back and Alex was on top of me, his body heavy and warm. I wrapped my legs around his waist, desperate for a distraction from the indents left in my fingers from my guitar strings and the chaos in my mind.

“I’m sorry,” I rasped, screwing my eyes shut.

“You’re not,” he said, biting my ear lobe. “You can’t help it.”

He bit harder and I whimpered, arching up against him. My dick hurt for how hard I was, how hard I’d been the whole time. Just breathing the same air as Alex gave me an erection and the studious way he always looked at me didn’t help matters at all. He was like an eraser for every shitty decision I’d ever made, and with his dick burning like a hot iron against my hip, I thought— for the first time—it just might work for good this time. Maybe with his mouth, he could take all of this away.

Alex propped himself up with one hand beside my head and he moved the other between my legs. His fingers were quick to get my pants off, shoved down to my ankles. I kicked free of them and spread my legs wider for when he leaned to the side to wrestle with the fly of his own jeans. He yanked them down enough to get his cock out, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. He rocked back and rolled the condom down his length, stroking himself as he went.

“You have two seconds to give me lube,” he said, frowning at my empty bedside table.

“The drawer.” I couldn’t get out from under him, didn’t want to. I rucked my shirt up to my chin and grabbed both of my nipples, twisting and tugging them while he slicked his cock and his hand.

“Tighter,” he growled, shoving his slippery fingers into the crack of my ass. He pushed one finger into me, then another, scissoring them apart on every backward stroke.

I pinched my nipples with more force, my neck going tense from the bite of pain. No sound came out of my mouth. It was like my body refused to comply, wouldn’t let me dig down hard enough to make myself scream the way I would if it had been his hands on me.

“That’s enough,” I begged, pushing back onto his fingers. “Please, I want you.”

He pulled his fingers out and lined the tip of his cock up with my hole. “Just want?”

My teeth chattered, I was so desperate for him, for the things I knew he was able to give me. More than anything, I needed that release, that reset.

“Need,” I rasped, reaching for his hips.

Alex batted my hands away, grabbing both of my wrists in one of his hands and pinning them down over my head. My knuckles scraped against the wall and still…he wasn’t inside of me.

“Alex, please.” I licked my lips, thrashing beneath him, trying to get his cock into me. But he was taller, broader, stronger. He wasn’t going to go anywhere or do anything he didn’t want to do.

“I’d almost forgotten how much I like it when you beg,” he whispered, dipping down and brushing his lips across mine.

“I’ll beg more.”

He smiled against my mouth, pressing the tip of his dick against my hole with no intention of going any deeper.

“Okay,” he agreed, licking my bottom lip. “Do it.”

Shivering, I tested the hold he had on my wrists. It was tight and strong, and that only made my cock leak against my stomach. My hole clenched down on nothing, the promise of being filled less than an inch away.

“Please. Please. Oh, God. Fuck. Alex, I’m desperate. I need you so much.”

“Need me where?” he asked.

“Everywhere.” I cleared my throat. “Inside of me.”

“I like the first one,” he said, kissing the corner of my mouth. He notched his tip against my hole and pushed in slower than anyone ever had before.

“Oh, God,” I whined, trying to cant my hips down to get more of him inside of me. How was this not killing him? He’d barely given me an inch and there was so much more ground to cover before our chests would press together again. Until his balls would rest heavy against mine.

“Try again.”

“Alex.”

He rewarded that with another inch of his cock.

Sweat beaded on my temples, my palms, the base of my spine. I needed more from him, either needed him to fuck me or hurt me. Maybe both. I didn’t know for sure how to separate the two when it came to him.

Didn’t know if I wanted to.

“I can wait all night,” he said, pulling out entirely. “I don’t care if or when I come, pet. And I care even less about if you do.”

“Oh, shit. Shit . Fuck.”

Something about the nickname really did it for me, and for all the hours I’d spent on my hands and knees scrubbing at the floor of my shower thinking about Alex and the things he did to me, I hadn’t tried to unpack the name and the way it made my cock throb.

Alex hummed, leveraging himself back onto his heels and letting go of my wrists. Immediately, I mourned the absence of his body, the press of his hands, his mouth…his cock.

“I told you I’m not an easy man,” he said, stroking himself from root to tip, fingers curled around the shiny latex of the condom.

“I heard you.”

“I have high expectations.”

“Tell me,” I whimpered, reaching for his thighs, still covered by expensive and soft, dark denim.

“You have to listen.”

“I am.”

Alex grabbed my hand and took two of my fingers into his mouth, sucking them and swirling his tongue around the length of each digit. I covered my eyes with my other hand, the indecent and wet sounds from his mouth almost enough to make me come on the spot.

He pulled my hand off my eyes, then pushed my fingers deep enough into this mouth that had it been mine, I would have choked. His stare was impossible to look away from, focused and punishing in its intensity. Unwavering, even when he fucked his mouth with my fingers, making soft gagging noises around my knuckles.

When I was about to verbally safeword so I didn’t come all over us both, he pulled my hand free, kissing the two pruned fingertips that I was fairly certain had just touched his uvula.

“You have to listen to me when we aren’t having sex,” he said, lowering my hand between us. He pressed my fingers against my asshole, and then into it.

“I’ll listen,” I promised.

I swore it.

“Even if you don’t like it,” he warned.

Alex pushed my fingers all the way inside of me, and I spread my legs and moaned for him.

“Even if I don’t like it.”

“I’m not going to fuck you until you get tested,” Alex said softly. He pulled the condom off and tossed it onto the floor. His mouth angled into a tight frown, and I wanted to burst into tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, mouth softening. “And if you are, you shouldn’t be. You did what you had to.”

He pulled my fingers out and slowly pressed them back in. His hold on my wrist was punishing, and I loved it.

“But you don’t have to do it anymore.”

I tried to take my hand away, but he tightened his hold and pushed my fingers all the way inside of me. He leveraged himself on my wrist, letting his body fall over mine, effectively trapping our hands between my legs. I wasn’t getting my fingers out of my asshole unless he wanted them out.

“Get off of me,” I grunted.

“Do you want to use your safe word?”

I huffed, turning my head to the side so I didn’t have to look at him. “No.”

“Tell me, then,” he said.

I was so angry, but not at him. Alex was giving me exactly what I hadn’t had the balls to ask for. That pain, that control. It was everything I liked the most about being with him, but was too scared to ask for. Even with the tension and the unease at being seen floating so beneath the surface of my skin, I forced the word out anyway, swallowing down bile.

“Green.”

I would have cried if he stopped.

I’d probably cry even if he didn’t.

“But you don’t have to do it anymore,” Alex repeated.

“I don’t want your money.”

He shifted enough to pull my fingers out of my asshole. “It’s not up to you to tell me what to do with my own money, Dylan.”

“I don’t want it.”

“I know.” He maneuvered my wrist, swirling my fingers around my barely teased hole until I bore down and got one back inside. Alex huffed, pushing the digit all the way into me.

It wasn’t enough.

It was hell.

“But I want you for myself and I want to fuck you when I want and where I want.” Alex directed two more of my fingers into my body. “Isn’t that what you want, Dylan? Isn’t that better than this?”

“Yes,” I answered quickly, the burning between my legs from the third finger almost enough to get me off.

Alex moved between my legs, pumping his hips against both of our hands, fucking my fingers deeper into me. Somehow he managed to pull out when he drew back, push in when he went forward. The friction and the slide was what I needed, and when I grazed my prostate, I threw my head back and cried out.

“Get tested,” Alex growled into my ear.

“Yes.”

“Music and bartending only,” he said next.

I grunted, eyes rolling back.

He went still, my fingers half out of me, his cock hard and going to waste against my thigh.

“There’s not one without the other,” he warned. “This is a limit for me, Dylan. I don’t fucking share.”

“You didn’t care when you were paying me for it.”

He huffed again, pressing his forehead against mine… hard .

“I’m not a stupid man. I knew I was the only one then and I know I’m not now.” He pumped forward and buried my fingers back into my hole. “But I’m a miserable man, Dylan. I’m sad and I’m jealous and I want , so if you want more of me… If you want more of this…”

He didn’t need to finish his thought. I was stubborn, but I understood the point. And if I was being honest, which I hadn’t been, I didn’t want to keep doing sex work. I just didn’t want to get evicted from Tate’s and my apartment. The only thing worse than sex work was a handout, though, and Alex was asking me to walk away from one and into the other.

“Okay,” I breathed out, nodding against him. “Okay, yes. Green.”

Relief rolled out of him, so tangible I felt it settle over my bones when he slanted our mouths back together. What Alex did next couldn’t be described as a kiss. He devoured me, sucking and licking and biting his way around my mouth, using his hips to fuck me.

“Good boy,” he whispered, breath burning against my kiss-swollen lips. “Good fucking boy, Dylan.”

Alex went still, cum spurting against my thigh as he spilled all over my bare leg. God, I fucking wanted him inside of me, wanted him to bury himself so fully inside of me that I couldn’t make sense of where my mess stopped and his perfection started. I was angry in that moment, filled with rage that his cum had been wasted against my leg when my mouth was right there, when even though I’d fought him, I was so ready.

“I have half a mind to leave you like this,” he said, pulling back enough so he could see my finger stuffed up my own asshole. He let go of my wrist and drifted his hand up to trace his finger across the place where I was stretched and slick with lube. “Incentivize you a little bit.”

“Please don’t,” I begged, grabbing for him with the hand that wasn’t busy. He was just out of reach, inches too far away. “Please don’t stop. I’ll be good, I promise.”

He puffed a short exhale out of his nose, his earlier frown shifting into half of a sad-looking smile.

“I hope you’re a man of your word, Dylan, because I am.” He wrapped his fist around my cock and stroked me once. Cum shot out of my cock, the orgasm so treacherously close, there was no stopping it.

It hurt.

It hurt.

My hole clamped around my knuckles and cum sprayed out of my dick, coating my stomach and feeling as wasted as Alex’s release had been. I burst into tears, body seizing as the aftershocks of my release rolled through me. Alex pulled me up by my arms, propping me against the wall and regarding me—again with that frown.

“Thank you,” I choked out, lashes fluttering closed with relief.

“Don’t thank me yet, pet.” Alex sighed and climbed off my bed. “Get up, because we need to talk.”