1. Felix

1

Felix

After one of the worst blind dates of my life, I knew one thing for sure: I was done with dating.

My goal in meeting the stranger had been to rekindle my Dom side. It hadn't gone well, to put it mildly. Trying to clear my mind, I stepped onto the sidewalk outside of the swanky Italian restaurant where we'd just had dinner. The Chicago air was brisk, a little chillier than I was used to experiencing having recently moved from the sweltering Arizona desert. Naturally, the climate shift was something I would have to adjust to over time.

I was new to the area and trying out the social scene for the first time since my move to the Midwest a couple of weeks ago. The relocation had come at a great time, as I was still recovering from a recent and messy divorce.

I wrapped my jacket around my chest a little more snugly, debating on whether to take the L train back to my new apartment which I had acquired thanks to an inheritance from my favorite Uncle Al. The inheritance had come as something of a surprise to me. I hadn't even known I'd been in the running to receive it until two months ago, and the process and planning of moving halfway across the country had been in full swing ever since.

I tossed a grim glance over my shoulder. I didn't see my disaster date anywhere, thank goodness, and good riddance. I shuddered at the cringy memory of our forced conversation over spaghetti and red wine. I had spent every excruciating moment watching the minutes tick by and trying to drum up an excuse to wrap the date up quickly.

"So much for a Tinder date," I said to myself and let out an exasperated sigh. "No more internet dating apps for me."

I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets and picked up my pace. If my body was in motion, I wouldn't be as cold.

My fingers skirted over something in my pocket. I had completely forgotten about the business card my date from hell had given me. I stopped walking, scoffed and plucked the card from my pocket in order to inspect it for a spark of anything interesting.

Ironically, the only good thing that had stemmed from the date was this business card. Apparently, the guy had an investment opportunity in a night club in the heart of the city that he had deemed extremely popular.

I smiled as I read the inscription in wide set neon letters.

Tiger's Eye. Join us for a night you'll never forget at the trendiest—AND ONLY—BDSM club in downtown Chicago!

I yawned, debating whether I should call it a night or extend my efforts to prevent another night of solitude. I wasn't sure if it would be worth my while to check out this club for a firsthand experience.

My date and I had not been compatible on any level whatsoever. When I tried to order for him, he protested a little bit but eventually caved. I also noticed he had some wandering eyes and I wasn't convinced he was invested in me or our conversation in general.

I had ended the date abruptly, saying I wasn't feeling well so I could get the hell out of there without a stream of invasive questions or an invitation back to his place.

I was still trying to establish myself in a new environment, and it was a slow process, slower than I had anticipated, but I was patient with myself and the crawl.

I craved the concept of putting myself out there and adapting to the social scene, trying to find activities to engage in that would enlighten instead of bore me. I wanted to reignite my Dom side.

As I walked, my thoughts drifted to my divorce. My ex-husband and I were like gasoline and a match, the inevitable outcome was a heated explosion.

Evan and I had a good run, and we'd given it our best shot. In the end, we just weren't meant to be. Our compatibility bar was so low that I couldn't even see it in the end.

Evan was too uptight and controlling. I'd had to hide my needs for years with him, so now that I was single and on the hunt for companionship, I was ready to dive into my Dom side and release it, exploring it in ways that gave me freedom and options.

I had trekked a long and grueling road with Evan, always suppressing my preferences, and now I felt like that part of me was sizzling to get out, like a constant current of electrical energy charging through my veins.

Although, I wasn't always submissive with Evan. I smiled smugly, reminiscing about the times where I'd tried to have the last word and won. Those were the highlights of the marriage for me, even if they had been few and far between. I'd cut my losses—and my pride—and moved on as best I could.

I figured that moving to a different city and establishing an almost entirely new identity for myself was the best fit to mold my future. I was ready to let my true personality shine.

My new inheritance gave me the once in a lifetime opportunity to quit my job and take some time to figure out my place in the world and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

"You don't have to map out the rest of your entire life tonight, Felix," I reminded myself with an ironic chuckle.

That was just part of who I was. I always had to micromanage everything, including my own thoughts. I blamed that quirky trait on my mother.

I came from a broken family and at best, had a rocky background. My mom moved us from town to town. I never had any real stability or routine I could cling to as a youth. My mother feared structure as if it was a demon chasing her, so I never got a chance to have a normal childhood and be a normal kid.

I'd had to grow up fast and I had been relatively self-sufficient for as long as I could remember. I tried to take care of my partners in relationships, but some appreciated it more than others, leaving me newly divorced at the ripe old age of thirty-three. I didn't mind it. I was still young enough to immerse myself in the dating scene.

My mind drifted back to the nightclub and the possibilities of hot men I would undoubtedly find there. I imagined grinding hip to hip with a sexy guy with a five o'clock shadow, not a full beard but just enough to create a little tickle and a scratch. The visions brewing in my head pounded an erection between my legs that throbbed in my pants.

I wanted to flirt with a cute guy. I wanted to graze my lips up against his while he hovered his mouth against mine, lightly brushing our skin together for warm contact and a little tease.

I groaned. I needed a release.

I laughed at myself. "Well, you're already down for the count with the nightmare date tonight," I said to myself.

"Hey, you need a ride?" A taxi pulled up to the curb beside me, interrupting my conversation with myself.

I shook my head. "No. Thanks."

"Are you sure?' he persisted. "It's cold out there."

"I can handle it." I gave him a polite smile and began to walk faster down the street in the direction of the train station.

I may have looked lonely talking to myself on the sidewalk, but I wasn't interested in taking a taxi driver home. I decided to call it a night and save the club for another time.

__________________________

Friday night and adrenaline pumped through my veins. I was euphoric as I stood on the sidewalk in front of the Tiger's Eye nightclub after having spent several days anticipating my first visit. My heart raced. A tingly sensation rippled through me.

Men entered the building in droves. There was a line at the entrance. When I got to the door, a shirtless bouncer in gold sequined pants stopped me in my tracks.

"Members only tonight," he proclaimed and glanced at my wrist. "You don't have a blue band."

"Where do I get one?" I asked.

The bouncer smiled. He looked like a Ken doll, his skin a bronzed, golden tan. "You want to become a member?"

"Yes." I nodded.

Looking past the bouncer my eyes skated curiously across the bar area. It was modern and clean with neon lights everywhere. Bodies swayed on the dance floor as electronic music pulsed through the speakers.

Attractive men hovered and meshed close together, bumping into each other as they moved to the music. It smelled like sex and booze. I loved everything about the atmosphere. I was drawn in like a moth to a flame.

"You can go see Garret for a membership pass," the bouncer said.

"Garret?" I yelled through the noise of the club.

"Yes, Garret Olsen. He's the owner of the club," the bouncer shouted back.

"Oh, okay." I nodded. "Can you point me in his direction?"

"I just saw him go into his office. It's up those stairs." The bouncer pointed up a set of stairs to the right.

"Thanks." I gave the bouncer a cordial nod and set off up the stairs with my heart pounding in my chest.

I passed several rooms leading to the main office and I wondered if bondage and roleplaying was taking place behind the closed doors. The thought excited me, and anticipative arousal pulsed between my legs.

I turned down a hallway and nearly bumped into a man. To say that he was handsome would have been an understatement. He had dark hair, a bit of stubble just the way I liked, not too prominent. He was wearing a black, skintight shirt that accentuated his bulging muscles and toned physique.

"Can I help you?" There was a twinkle in his blue, almost silvery-grey eyes.

I had never seen such an exceptional color in eyes before. He was so stunning he took my breath away. His stare was intoxicating. It was as if he was searching into the depths of my soul and trying to penetrate me.

I stammered. I never got this flustered engaging with a gorgeous man. "I, uh… I'm looking for Garret Olsen."

"You're looking at him." Garret puffed out his chest and smiled proudly. His smile was charming and charismatic, reeling me right in as if I was in a trance.

I felt an invisible chemistry swirling between us and I wondered if he felt it as intensely as I did.

I pointed down the stairs. "One of your bouncers said to see you if I wanted to obtain a membership to the club."

"Really?" Garret's eyes flashed with interest. "You want to join my BDSM club?"

"Yes," I declared, feeling slightly disappointed because it was obvious from the start of the conversation and by Garret's strong and confident demeanor that he was a Dom too.

"I can get you hooked up," Garret said. Mischief swam in his eyes.

"Thanks." I nodded, albeit more professionally and stiff than I wanted to come across to him.

"I always ask potential new clients if they're willing to try out the club and get a feel for it before signing up," Garret said. He raised his eyebrows and studied me. "Does that capture your interest?"

"Indeed, it does." I swiftly nodded.

"We have various themed rooms," Garret said. "I don't suggest you enter any of them until you are an official member, but you can feel free to rendezvous with anyone you like on the dance floor below."

"Sounds good." I nodded.

"We have more than one play space, and some of our rooms provide furniture and equipment for whatever needs you wish to fulfill," Garret declared with pride.

"Thanks for the information," I said, tossing him a grateful smile.

I wished I could relax a little, but he was so attractive that he was becoming a distraction for me.

He extended his hand and shook mine. His handshake was firm, his touch warm, masculine, sturdy. I loved it and resented it all at once. I wished he was a little more on the submissive side, but I couldn't change a strong personality. I knew that firsthand from my failed marriage.

My desire to join the club was now just as wrapped up in my desire to spend more time around Garret. I would use any excuse to come here every night just to see his gorgeous face.

Garret escorted me back downstairs, where I spent some time dancing with a few subs, but there was no deep-rooted connection between me and any of them.

Not only that, but I didn't feel the urge to dominate any of them either. I didn't want to commit to the rooms with any of the men on the dance floor, and it was beginning to frustrate me.

I was ready to call it quits and go home when Garret approached me from behind. His brooding presence was warm. His spicy cologne wafted through my nostrils, amplifying my arousal.

"Come with me," he whispered in my ear.

Goose bumps of pleasure prickled on the surface of my skin.

"Where are we going?" I slowly turned around and gave him an expectant glance, trying to suppress a grin.

Would he allow me to tease him first before having my way with him? The odds were slim to none, but I had free agency over my own imagination.

Garret led me to a private room and closed the door. There was a desk with a laptop on it in the corner.

"So?" Garret's eyes gleamed with amusement.

"So?" I asked and chuckled, trying to guess where this conversation might go. Was he going to ask me out?

"Are you interested in joining the club?" he asked.

Oh, right. I tried not to appear too crestfallen. The club would grant me access to him. I had to say yes.

"To be honest, I feel like I've left this side of myself unattended a little too long." I tried not to sound too emotional as I verbalized my secret confession.

"You're a Dom," Garret said and smiled.

"That I am." I nodded. "However, none of the subs here tonight appealed to me…" I trailed off and purposefully avoided eye contact with him. "Unfortunately."

Garret pondered briefly. "Have you ever considered submitting?"

I lifted my gaze and stared at him. I scoffed, a little too cynically. "No. That's out of the question."

"You should never reject something without trying it first." Garret's eyes were warm, sparkling as if he viewed me as a challenge to take on.

"Thank you for your time," I said and swiveled on a heel, fully prepared to leave.

Garret was hot, but he wasn't hot enough to insult me to my face and get away with it.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find me," Garret chimed from behind me.

I tossed a polite smile over my shoulder and headed out of the club, venturing back home. I felt sexually frustrated and hot and bothered at the same time. How could Garret be so lighthearted? Nothing seemed to bother him, not even a perturbed potential new client.

I wished I wasn't as uptight as I was, but I couldn't change myself in a day, nor did I necessarily want to. Maybe we would be a good fit together. He could be the carefree one while I took charge and kept things in order. Who was I kidding? I was getting ahead of myself again.

Once home, I plopped down on my couch and sank into the cushions, wishing there was a way I could disappear into my fantasies. If only I could bring them to life.

I closed my eyes, fervently attempting to envision myself in a submissive role. It was a nearly impossible challenge. I just wasn't wired that way.

I opened my eyes and stood up, feeling restless. I dismissed the sub idea before it even got a chance to take flight. I walked to my bedroom and laid down on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

I began to imagine myself on top of Garret, his wrists bound as he bent over, ready to receive me. My cheeks burned. My cock throbbed. I yearned to bring my wildest fantasies to life. I wanted to develop a relationship with Garret, but it wouldn't work if he was a Dom too. Why were the sexiest ones always so out of reach?

I downed a full glass of water on my nightstand, but I was still enveloped in a steamy thirst that I couldn't quench. Every time I closed my eyes, I pictured Garret's handsome face and his lips pressed to mine. I wanted to run my hands through his sleek black hair and dig my nails down his back, leaving trace marks in my wake. Everything about Garret was erotically stimulating to my senses.

Forgetting Garret's silvery-grey eyes was going to be difficult if I ever wanted to get some sleep. I left my bed and trudged to the bathroom. I twisted the nozzle on my shower. I needed to release some of this sexual energy, and a hot shower was the best place to get the job done.