Chapter 5

Rory didn't always enjoy lying around in bed with lovers. He rarely seemed to be able to settle even after a good bout of sex. With Zee, it was different. No matter where they were, Rory could find himself at peace if Zee was beside him.

The sun had set and the only light in the room came from the hall light. His mind seemed to relax, his body felt…right. Something just seemed right here in bed with Zee. After years of fighting what he finally accepted, Zee was his home and there was no way he could fuck it up. And that was the reason he wanted to give him Maura, even if it was for a week.

"So, do you want to know where I was?" Rory asked him. He knew Zee was worried about their relationship. The man was a worrier and that was probably why Rory found him so attractive. He knew he didn't have to deal with the worrying; Zee worried enough for the two of them. It was also nice to have someone, anyone, worry about him. He'd only had one or two people in his life like that.

Zee's sigh was long and there was a bit of loneliness to it. Ever since his return a few months ago, Rory felt that there was something more going on with him.

"I figured you were starting your regular pattern."

That brought him up short. Rory shifted in bed to get a better view of Zee. His eyes were closed and the little bit of light that was in the room shimmered over his skin. Damn, the man was still fucking hot.

Rory shook his head. "What do you mean?"

Zee sighed again. "Every time before you bug off, you start disappearing for long stretches."

Rory pulled himself up so he could look down at Zee. Rory knew Zee was close to falling asleep, but Rory had a point to make. He had been a shit a huge part of his life and Rory knew that the biggest mistakes he had ever made were pushing Zee away when they got too serious. He was done with that. Almost dying did things to a man and it made him look at life differently.

"Zee." He waited for his lover to open his eyes. They were deep chocolate with a dark gold encircling the iris. How could anyone resist a man who was so fucking sexy and loving? He couldn't and thankfully, Zee hadn't given up on him. "I'm not leaving. I know you don't believe me and I have a lot to prove, but I'm not leaving this time."

He said nothing. Rory needed something else, some kind of connection. He leaned down and gave him a kiss. It was sweet and hot and he never took his gaze from Zee's.

"You know I love you," he said. It was still hard to say the words. Zee was the only person he had ever said them to. Each time he did, Rory expected him to throw them back in his face.

Zee lifted his hand and cupped his face. "I love you, too."

Rory let loose a sigh of relief and laid back on the bed. At one time, the words would have sent him in a panic. Now, it was a comfort.

"So where were you?" Zeke asked.

"I went shopping."

There was a beat of silence. "For what?"

Right now, Zee wasn't ready to go for the threesome. Strike that. Zee was ready, he just needed a little push. Zee wanted it and Rory wanted to be the one to give it to him. Rory knew watching Maura submit was going to be the ultimate turn on for Zee. Even thinking about it right now had his blood heating.

"For our trip to Hawaii. Easier to buy what I wanted here, than trying to find a place there. Since we don't have to mess with the TSA, makes it even easier."

Zee sighed again, this time it was filled regret. "She won't go for it."

"She will."

"How do you know that?"

Rory closed his eyes and remembered her reaction to him, to the picture he had painted for her. "I talked to her about it."

"You what?" Zee almost shouted and sat up. "I told you to leave her alone."

His reaction was over the top. It was one of the reasons that Rory thought Zee needed to work the woman out of his system. "Hold on, lover, I just talked to her. That's it."

Zee laid back down with a huff. "Do you ever listen to me? Do you ever listen to anyone?"

"Not when I'm right. And buddy, believe me, I was right about Maura."

Zee said nothing for a moment. When Zee was quiet like that, Rory knew his mind was working the issue. "What did she say?"

"I told her to just think about it. It's a week where there can be no rules."

"She doesn't need you tempting her into something that would end up hurting her."

That caught his attention. "What?"

Zee sighed. "I guess she heard a rumor about us and suggested a threesome. She immediately took it back."

"When were you going to tell me this?" Rory asked. Silence. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I'm not sure."

And that chaffed at Rory. He knew they both had secrets, but, still…it rankled him.

"I don't know," Zee admitted. "You don't understand her very well."

"How do you know that?"

"If you did, you wouldn't be so flippant about this. Bloody hell, anyone who knows Maura well knows she wouldn't handle this."

"Explain."

Zee shot him a look, but said, "She doesn't like change. You've seen how she is at the office. She doesn't live in the moment. She likes everything to go as planned. She probably planned on hooking her brother and Jillian up."

He filed that bit of information away. "Maybe she's at a point that she wants to make a change."

"And what about when we get back, working with each other every day."

Rory shrugged. "I don't think that will matter."

"Of course you don't," Zee said, his voice sounding weary. "You never think about the consequences of your actions."

Annoyance had his gut tightening, along with a healthy dose of worry. And that aggravated him even more. He had never really worried about the consequences of his personal life and now Zee had him worrying. Dammit.

"Don't make me sound like a shit. I might make a few mistakes here and there?—"

"You mean the mistake like in Tokyo where I almost got my bloody head blown off."

"That was five fucking years ago. I can't believe you're bringing that up." Rory drew in a deep breath trying to gain hold of his temper. He didn't want to fight about something that happened when they were both so green they didn't know what they were doing in the field. "I have thought this through. I left it up to her. You know you want it, Zee. I do too. We haven't done this in a long time."

"Because every time we do, you disappear. It's the sign you are freaking out."

"No it's not." Rory frowned. "Are you serious?"

He huffed again. Zee was always kind of a huffy guy and most of the time, Rory loved it. Not now though, not now that he was ripping his character to shreds. "No. I'm making shit up. Of course I'm serious."

"I think you've been smoking weed again."

"I haven't had that in years. And you are avoiding the subject I brought up."

"And that is?"

When he spoke, Zee's voice was weary. "Quit being a dick, Rory. I've seen this pattern over and over. You're freaking out."

He was, Rory knew that. But it wasn't just a sign that he was leaving. Wanting Maura with them was a preemptive strike. Zee was infatuated with her and that infatuation was a bad thing in Rory's opinion. There was nothing but heartache on that path. It was better that both Maura and Zee work out their need for each other and get over it. He'd been waiting for an opportunity and this seemed perfect.

He leveled a look at the man he'd loved most of his life. Sure he had just figured it out, but better late than never. He would do anything to keep them together now.

"Other than that, what are your other objections?"

Zee didn't say anything for a long time.

"Zee?"

"I worry about Maura."

Zee could have stabbed him in the forehead with a fork and it would have hurt less that those four words. Rory knew Zee was half in love with the woman. The fact that he was more worried about her than either of them was enough to piss him off. He would never let Zee know just how much it hurt because the way Zee was, it would make him hurt too. He had never met someone who had so much empathy for the people he loved. That's the reason he had fallen in love with the man.

"She's important to you."

Zee looked at him, searching his face. He hated that. Hated Zee could pick his brain, but it was one of the things he loved most about him. "She should be important to you too. She hasn't had an easy time of it."

Rory snorted. "Yeah, I saw the house, looked tough."

"You've always been cynical but you're worse now than ever before. When did that happen?"

It had nothing to do with being cynical. There was a deep-set panic in his gut that told him that Zee cared more about Maura than any other woman he had been involved with. That alone had him being nasty, but Rory was having issues himself. The woman had drawn him in before, but now…he was hooked. Other than Zeke, he couldn't get the woman out of his head.

He ignored his worries and smiled at Zeke. "I'm not any more cynical than you are, my love."

"Yes you are. Besides, money won't bring her parents back."

Shit, he hated that admiring tone Zee got when he talked about Maura. He knew he was jealous and hated that too, but there didn't seem to be a damned thing he could about it.

"She had Conner." Fuck, now he sounded defensive. He didn't like when they had discussions like this. Zee always got hurt and Rory ended up ticked off.

"Yeah, but she was in the car with them when they died."

"She survived."

"Just to watch her parents die."

"Is that what she told you?" he asked, not able to keep the snarl out of his voice.

"No. Conner told me she used to have nightmares. I do know she was stuck in the car with them for three hours after. The bastard drunk who hit them just sped off and left them there. When…" Zeke glanced at him apparently not wanting to reveal too much. He sighed. "When we were together, every now and then, she would have the nightmares. She tried to hide it, but they disturbed her. If she's under a lot of stress, she tends to have them. It's another reason Conner probably wants her over there."

Rory said nothing to that, mainly because now he was starting to admire her. She never mentioned anything about it. And, she did work like she was just like everyone else at work. Tonight had to be one of the few nights she left before anyone else, and she worked as if her brother didn't own the company. That made him like her even more. Not once did she act as if she expected something to be done for her. Dammit.

"Then, add in that she is a geek, a woman with a mind so sharp it"s scary. She was always an outcast. In college at sixteen...it wasn't easy."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Stop being an ass," Zee said without much heat. "This isn't a one night stand or even just a week. If we pull her into a threesome, then we just go on together without her, she'll be an outcast again. She doesn't need that. No one deserves that."

Rory knew he spoke of his mother and father. Zeke's father's family had never accepted the wife and child he had brought back from Haiti. They were pretty much left on their own when his father had died.

"Okay. We'll be careful, but I already put it out there. Besides, we don't have to end it when we come back."

It was dark but he sensed Zee's glance. "What are you saying?"

"Maybe we leave it up to her at the end?"

Even as he said it, it sounded so wrong...but so fucking delicious. Having a sub that enticed Zee the way Maura did in the relationship would be beyond anything they had done before. She wouldn't go for it probably, but there was always the slight chance she might.

"I have a feeling she'll say no anyway."

Rory said nothing. In their line of work, he had learned a long time ago how to read people and what he saw today told him that there was at least a good chance she would say yes. Of course, arguing with Zee was like arguing with a brick wall. Once he set his mind on something he just would not let it go. The only way to prove Zee wrong was doing it in front of his face. He wanted it as bad as Rory did, he was just afraid. Worrying about it tonight. They had an early start to their day and there was no reason to keep debating what Maura might or might not do. Rory turned toward Zee and slipped an arm over his waist. With Zee's even breathing filling the air, Rory followed him into sleep.