Sixteen

"J?ger, no! Wait! Come here!" Stevie shouted, chasing the puppy around the kitchen island.

He thought it was a game because she was chasing him with a towel in the hopes of drying him off. What she'd thought would be a quick potty break had turned into fifteen minutes of him playing in the yard. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem, except it was sleeting. He would stand there, wait until the little ice pellets clung to his fur, and then give a whole body shake before doing it again. At first, it was cute. Now she was worried he was going to catch a cold.

"Maybe Nico was right," she said when she managed to get her arms around him, lifting him in the towel. "Trouble is a good name for you."

The doorbell rang.

J?ger stopped wiggling, his attention lasering in on the front door. He let out a little yap.

"Who could that possibly be?" She set him on the floor. "Did Nico forget his key again? I told him to keep his truck key with his other keys and not in his pocket, but he won't listen. Serves him right, huh? It's crazy to be out in this weather."

With a smile, Stevie went to the door and pulled it open, keeping an eye on J?ger so she didn't accidentally hit him with it. She was giggling at the puppy when she looked up and found Stone standing on the front porch.

Instantly, the smile was gone, and she pretended that she wasn't staring at the most gorgeous cowboy in existence. And the man was downright gorgeous. He was wearing a black felt Stetson on his head and a bulky, black Carhartt coat, his hands tucked into his pockets. It wasn't zipped, and she could see a glimpse of maroon beneath. His long legs were clad in Wranglers that were worn in all the places that hugged his impressive lower body. The boots on his feet looked like they'd seen quite a bit of action over the years.

"What're you doin' here?" She frowned, forcing herself to meet his gaze. "How'd you even know where I live?"

"Nico gave me the address. I went by the office to talk to you. He said I should come by here."

Blasted man. She was going to make him pay for that.

A gust of wind battered Stone as he stood there. He managed to grab his hat before it was blown off his head.

Stevie knew from the deepest recesses of her soul that she was so going to regret this. "Come in."

While he opened the screen, she picked up J?ger. He was doing a full-body wiggle, excited about a visitor. At least one of them was.

Stone walked in, his gaze shifting over the space. She was grateful she'd taken the time to clean up. It hadn't been on her list of things to do (because it never was), but with J?ger, she was finding either she kept her stuff off the floor, or he ended up with it in his mouth. They hadn't had him a full month yet, and she'd already had to toss three socks (none of them matching), a pair of flip-flops, one slipper (she still hadn't found the other one), and what had been a perfectly good hairbrush before J?ger chewed the handle off.

"Beautiful place."

"Thanks. You can hang your coat on the rack."

He turned to look in the direction she was pointing as he shrugged out of his coat.

"It's Nico's. The house, I mean. He bought it when he was with Melanie. His ex. She wanted somethin' big and fancy. All about perception, that one. And Nico … well, he was tryin' to convince himself he could be happy with her." Stevie spread her arms wide. "He ended up with this."

"Does it make him happy?" Stone asked as he hung his hat beside his coat and removed his boots, leaving them near the door.

"I think it's growin' on him. I love it. It's huge. Almost four thousand square feet. Open floor plan." She was rambling, but she couldn't help it. He made her nervous. "There's a huge game room upstairs. We turned it into an office. Plus, it sits on five acres with no one behind us. What's not to love?"

Now that his hat was off, she could tell he'd gotten a haircut since the last time she saw him. With the sides and back shaved short and the top stylishly messy, he looked much more like the boy she'd fallen in love with all those years ago.

Damn him.

"Can I get you somethin' to drink? I was gonna make hot chocolate. But I can make some coffee."

"I wouldn't say no to coffee."

Funny, that was the same thing Nico always said when she tried to get him to have hot chocolate. Was she the only one in the world who loved hot chocolate?

"What's up, little guy?" Stone crouched down to pet J?ger. "I think you've grown since I last saw you."

"He eats like a horse," she said as she opened the cabinet to pull out the coffee. "I hate that he's eatin' processed food, but the fresh stuff is so expensive. I told Nico I wanted to create my own recipe and make it for him. I know I can come up with somethin' that's healthy and a helluva lot cheaper. But I wanna talk to the vet first. I've never had a dog before. Wouldn't wanna give him somethin' that's not good for him. Or, you know, toxic."

Realizing she had verbal diarrhea, Stevie pinched her lips shut and dumped the coffee grounds into the filter before flipping on the switch.

"You can have a seat anywhere," she said when she turned around to find him standing in the kitchen, J?ger in his arms.

"Is he allowed on the couch?"

"He now owns the place," she told him, grabbing the milk from the refrigerator and a glass measuring cup from the cabinet. "Nico just pays the mortgage."

Stone laughed.

Stevie put the measuring cup, now filled with milk, into the microwave and grabbed the bucket of powdered cocoa. It was one of her guilty pleasures. She even kept some on hand all year round.

"Plus, he sleeps in Nico's bed," she continued. "I snuck him in mine one night, but when I woke up, he was gone. Since he won't jump down on his own yet, I know Nico stole him. Freaked me out at first. I thought I squished him. We got him a kennel"—she pointed to the medium-sized cage with the padded mattress—"but it's takin' some time to get him used to it. I read somewhere that they feel safer in there, so that's what we're tryin' to do. Get him to sleep in it."

Andshe was doing it again.

Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself she hated this man.

Although hate was a pretty strong word. She'd definitely hated him fifteen years ago, back when he shattered her heart into tiny fragments that had rattled around in her chest for years. Now, she wasn't exactly sure how she felt about him. It really sucked that he'd gotten better looking with age. He was still big. Muscular and ridiculously tall. He made Nico look small in comparison, although he wasn't.

She scooped a generous amount of cocoa into her cup and stole glances at Stone. It irked her that he was sitting on the floor playing with J?ger. Only good guys played with dogs like that. In her mind, she'd built Stone up to be this total asshole. The kind who snapped at old ladies and snatched the last gallon of milk when a single mom and her scraggly little kid were about to reach for it. It'd been the easiest way to deal with the residual heartache she felt. But she should've known Stone would still be the same, fun-loving, nice guy he'd always been.

"How do you take your coffee?"

Stone looked up. The moment his eyes met hers, she felt a blast of heat. He still looked at her the same way he had back then. Like someone just rang the dinner bell, and she was on the menu.

"Little sugar, splash of milk."

She had to put effort into remembering to breathe as she tore her gaze from his and grabbed what she needed. When the coffee pot was half full, she pulled it from the warmer and poured him a cup.

By the time she joined him, Stone was sitting on the couch with J?ger curled up beside him, fast asleep.

"You have a secret for that?" she asked, nodding toward the puppy as she passed him the coffee mug. "When I'm with him, he won't stop movin'."

"He doesn't realize you're in charge."

But you are. And he always had been. Without even trying, Stone could dominate an entire room. She'd been in awe of it. And yes, turned on by it back in the day.

"So, what brings you by?" she asked, forcing herself not to think about the past. Or him laying her out on the couch and having his wicked way with her right now. Or her curling up on his other side and falling fast asleep like J?ger.

Yeah. She was ridiculous. So what?

"My aunt and uncle called me this mornin'," Stone explained. "Asked me to come by. They know I've been lookin' for some land to buy."

"To build a fancy bull breedin' ranch, right?"

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Stevie realized he'd never told her that. She'd picked up bits and pieces over the years, usually from running into Reilly or Donovan at the General Store. From time to time, Stevie would ask how he was doing. It usually got her the low-down.

Based on the sparkle in Stone's eyes, he realized he'd never told her that, either.

"Yeah," he said. "That was my original plan."

She sipped hot chocolate and pretended this was just a casual conversation between casually acquainted people. "But not anymore?"

"I don't know." His expression shifted from smoldering to contemplative. "At one point in my life, that's all I wanted. Now … especially if this opportunity comes through, I think I wanna go a different route."

Figuring he would relay what that was, Stevie waited.

"Then I talked to Nico at the office, and he said somethin' that made me want to do somethin' … else."

"Sounds like you don't know what you want."

His eyes took on that smoldering look again. "Baby, I've always known what I wanted. That wasn't the problem."

Baby.For fifteen years, she'd despised that word as a term of endearment. But when Stone said it, she was shot right back in time to when it made her feel like the most precious thing in his world.

Her insides clenched, and she found she couldn't look away from him. He was talking about her. She knew he was. This was her opportunity to tell him he'd missed his chance, but she couldn't get the words out. Her throat was constricted by a knot of emotion.

So she waited, praying he had more to say.

***

Stone didn't mean to say that.

It was the truth, yeah, but he'd come here in a professional capacity. His last encounter with Stevie hadn't gone quite the way he'd hoped, and he didn't want to risk a repeat. Not this soon, anyway.

It wasn't that he was ready to give up on talking to Stevie. Quite the opposite. But he was willing to give her space. With some time, he hoped she would come around, be willing to have him in her life again. He understood why she was hesitant to talk to him about what happened when he left. It had been a cowardly move on his part, and he owed her more than an apology. He owed her an explanation.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't mean—"

"What was the problem then?"

That was new. The Stevie from fifteen years ago never would've questioned him. It wasn't that she'd been amenable to everything he said or did; it was that they'd never gotten onto subjects that required her to voice a different opinion. Back then, they'd gone from getting to know one another on a friendly, casual level to a sexual exploration that had taken over everything.

"Me," he said truthfully.

"So it wasn't that you were freaked out because the three of us had sex?"

"Freaked out? No."

Stevie snorted.

"I wasn't freaked," he assured her. "Obsessed, maybe."

And he hadn't meant to say that either.

Her eyes narrowed. "Obsessed?"

Stone nodded, considering his words carefully. This was a touchy subject. Not the threesome part, but the fact he'd left town. He wanted to give her an explanation that made sense.

Unfortunately, he didn't have one.

"It was all I could think about for two days after," he admitted.

Her eyes shifted over his face, but he couldn't read what she was thinking. "What made it different than all the other times you'd done it?"

He couldn't blame her for thinking that. He'd had a reputation for screwing pretty much anyone back in the day.

"That's the only time I'd ever done somethin' like that."

"Really?" She snorted again. "The town playboy never shared his girlfriend with another guy?"

He pretended not to hear the utter disgust that dripped from every word.

"You're the only girlfriend I've ever had."

Her eyes widened. She obviously noticed that he wasn't referring to past tense. It was true. He'd never had a girlfriend before or after her. Yeah, he'd had some ongoing sexual relationships with women, but nothing serious. He'd never made any promises or claimed he would be monogamous. Only with Stevie.

"What about boyfriends?"

"Never had one of those either."

"But you've been with other men? Since you left, I mean."

"Yes." He wasn't going to lie to her.

"Have you had any more threesomes?"

"No."

"Why?"

Stone chuckled.

Stevie looked frustrated. "What?"

"I didn't prepare myself to have this conversation with you today."

"That's a good thing. Now I know you'll tell me the truth."

"I've always told you the truth."

Her eyebrows shot skyward. "I distinctly remember you tellin' me you'd call and you'd see me the next time you came into town."

"You're right. I did say that."

"So you lied."

Stone could've told her he'd intended to call her, but that would've been a lie. He'd cut all ties when he left town. It was his only option. Otherwise, he would've come running back, and it wasn't the best thing for her back then.

"Yes." It pained him to admit it. "I left with no intention of contactin' you."

Her shoulders remained square, and there was sadness in her eyes, but it was the twinge in her voice that hurt the most. "Why?"

"Because you were too young to get mixed up with me."

"Too young? But I wasn't too young for you to share with another man."

Every memory of that night included both Stevie and Nico as willing participants. Hell, he'd even left and come back to find Stevie with Nico's face between her legs. Had he missed something? Had he pushed her into something she didn't want to do?

"I thought we were all on board," he said hesitantly. "Was I wrong?"

God, he hoped not. It would kill him to know that Stevie had felt pressured that night. Stone didn't regret a single second, but he would if she said she hadn't wanted to do it.

Her eyes skidded away, landing on the puppy, where they remained for what felt like an eternity.

"No," she finally said. "You weren't wrong."

Thank Christ.

"What about you?" he asked, needing a minute to breathe. "Did you ever have another threesome?"

"Oh, yeah. All the time. Every Friday nigh—No, Jesus. That was the only time."

He remembered what Nico had said.

You weren't the only one who was changed by the events of that night, Stone. You left a hole when you left. In both of us. It became a spot that needed to be filled, but neither of us knew how to do that.

"Did Nico?"

Her expression softened. "Not that I know of. Melanie certainly wasn't the type of girl who'd let some other guy touch her while Nico got off on it."

He didn't miss the vehemence in her words. It seemed she was overcome by emotion whenever she spoke about that night, but he couldn't quite pinpoint what she was feeling.

Stone leaned forward and put the coffee mug on the table. "Tell me somethin'." He looked at her. "Do you regret that night?"

"No."

Considering the speed at which she responded, he believed her.

He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head in his hands, staring at the floor. "Stevie, that night made me want somethin' I didn't think I was ready for. Let alone you." He forced himself to sit up and look at her. "I wanted to explore more of that. With you and Nico."

"Why didn't you?"

"You were too damn young. Shit, you were still in high school." He put his hand up before she could argue. "And Nico was Chelsea's fuckin' boyfriend."

"Ex."

"By a minute."

She opened her mouth but then closed it. A few seconds later, she said, "That's fair."

"Think about it, Stevie. I never hid the fact that I was bisexual or that I liked to play the field. And everyone knew Donovan was gay. Back then, it wasn't acceptable. Not as the norm. People looked at us like we were lepers sometimes. There wasn't a chance in hell that we could've had somethin' real. Not the way I wanted it to be. We would've had a spotlight on us. And the rumors … Jesus. You would've been the topic of conversation for months."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. The woman who was screwing two guys." He huffed. "No matter how far the world claims it's come, women are still viewed differently than men. I would've received high fives if I had two women in my bed every night. The same doesn't apply to you. And certainly not back then."

At least some of the fury faded from her expression. "So you thought leavin' for fifteen years was the answer?"

"I didn't even know where I was goin' when I left," he exclaimed, emotion beginning to choke him. "I just knew I needed to protect you from that. If word got out that we did … what we did…"

Stevie took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm not contesting that part. But you shouldn't have lied."

"I shouldn't have," he conceded. "You deserved a helluva lot more from me. I'm sorry. Sincerely sorry."

Her gaze shifted to the mug in her hand. "I don't know if I can forgive you."

"I won't blame you if you don't." He waited until she looked up. "It might not mean anything, but I've never loved anyone but you, Stevie. I've never even tried because I knew it wouldn't matter. You were it for me, and I left. I punished myself by rememberin' everything I loved about you. And I compared every woman I met to you. No one could ever come close." Her eyes glittered with unshed tears, but he forged ahead. "I'd already found the one, but I was stupid enough to let that go. I deserved to be alone."

Stevie jumped up from her seat and raced to the kitchen. The coffee mug clanged in the stainless-steel sink, and a second later, he heard her crying.

Hating himself for upsetting her, Stone followed her into the kitchen.

He reached for her but stopped at the last second, choosing to stand directly behind her instead. "Oh, girl. Please don't cry."

She shook her head.

"I'm so sorry, Stevie."

She shook her head again.

Stone couldn't resist. He put his hands on her shoulders, and a flood of sensation filled him. Touching her brought back so much, and he wasn't referring to a sexual response, although that was impossible to deny. But touching her, being with her … back then, it was all he cared about. It didn't matter where they were or what they were doing. As long as he was with Stevie, he could breathe.

Stone leaned down, keeping his voice low. "Baby, I'm so fuckin' sorry."

She continued to cry, her body jerking from her sobs, so he urged her to turn around. When she finally did, he wrapped his arms around her, propping his chin on her head and holding on tight. It felt like someone kicked him in the chest, knocking the air right out of him. And it was still the best feeling. Maybe the only thing he'd actually felt in the past fifteen years. With the exception of kissing Nico a short time ago.

"Please don't cry," he whispered, running his hand over her silky hair. "I'll spend the rest of my life makin' it up to you as long as you'll let me into your life. As friends," he tacked on, so she didn't think he was expecting anything else.

He wanted more. Damn straight, he did. Even with a decade and a half separating them, Stone knew without a doubt that Stevie was still the only woman he would ever love. She was just as vibrant now as she had been then. Maybe even more so. And when he looked at her, it was like coming out of a gloomy gray fog that had shrouded him all that time.

When she finally tilted her head back, Stone used his thumbs to brush the tears away. Her dark brown eyes were the color of rich coffee, brighter because of her pain. He hated that he was the one responsible.

He didn't lean in, didn't attempt to kiss her. Instead, he whispered, "God, I've missed you, Stevie."

"I've missed you, too. Even though I still hate you."

Those words would've felt like a gut punch, but she smiled softly.

"Think maybe we can try to move past that?"

"Maybe. But you're gonna have to work for it."

"I'll do whatever it takes." And he would. Stone intended to prove to her that he was worthy of her. And yes, he would settle for friendship if that was all she was willing to give him.

He was still cupping her face, and she still had her arms around him. Neither of them moved. Remaining just like that until a thump sounded from the front of the house.

Stevie laughed.

"What was that?"

"Your boot. J?ger's got a thing for boots."

Reluctantly, Stone released her and headed toward the door. Sure enough, J?ger had his boot's pull strap in his mouth and was attempting to drag it across the floor, but he couldn't get traction on the hardwood.

"You know that's not yours," Stone told him, snatching up one of the many toys on the floor. He traded his boot for a toy.

J?ger wasn't fooled. He lunged at the boot and yipped.

"You're gonna have to grow into that bark. It sounds a little weak. Like your mama was a bird. Try somethin' deeper."

J?ger yipped again.

"Nope. Sounds the same."

He was attempting to pique his interest with the toy when the front door opened. They both looked over.

"Hey," Nico said, taking off his coat and hanging it on the rack beside Stone's. "It's a mess out there."

J?ger forgot all about the boot and bounded over to Nico, who bent down to give his head a rub. "What's up, Trouble?"

Stone stood tall. "I guess I should probably get goin'."

Nico stood. "Might be too late for that. They've closed the Granite Creek bridge. I'm just lucky the office is on this side of it."

Fuck. There wasn't another way to get around unless he wanted to drive about five miles out of his way. If the roads were bad enough for them to close the bridge, a ten-mile trek would likely take him a couple of hours. His truck wouldn't have too much trouble, but anyone else on the road would cause a delay.

"You can stay here," Stevie said from behind him.

Stone turned. She had wiped the tears away, but her eyes were red-rimmed.

"You okay?" Nico asked Stevie, although his glare was directed at Stone.

She laughed it off. "Yeah. Stone was just bein' Stone. Tellin' it like it is."

Nico rounded on him.

Stone held up both hands. "I didn't set out to make her cry."

"He didn't," Stevie said, curling her hand around Nico's muscular forearm.

It was clear Nico wasn't ready to believe that, his expression skeptical as he looked down at her. "You want me to hit him for you? It'll make us even."

Stone grinned at the thought. He still remembered that day. That punch had led to the most incredible night of his life.

"Nah." Stevie huffed a laugh. "I think we're good. For now. But maybe you could start a fire?"

Nico nodded, continuing to glance between them as though, in doing so, he might be able to see what happened while he wasn't there.

"You hungry?" Nico asked Stevie.

"Yeah. I've got a pot roast in the oven. It'll be"—she looked at her watch—"thirty minutes or so before it's done. I made the cornbread already. I'll warm it up in a little while." She looked at Stone. "You good with pot roast?"

He was good with whatever she wanted him to have. But he kept that to himself. "Yeah. If you've got enough."

"More than," she noted, motioning toward the couch. "Might as well get comfortable."

That was exactly what he did.