Chapter 14

Bright afternoon seeping in through a crack in the red velvet curtains. Slept long. Slept deep. Now the sound of birds and waves outside. What a sky that is, I think as I lie here. I'm in a bedroom. Whose bedroom? Oh yes, that's right: Mother's. Mother's dead and I'm here in California, wrapping things up. That's why there are palm trees outside the window. Look at them waving in the blue breeze, almost like hands waving. I wave back a little. Hi. That's why there are wave sounds too. Mother lives by the ocean, remember?

Lived. Right.

There's another sound I hear along with the waves. Vibratory and celestial, like chimes or the endless gong of some great sacred bell. Sort of like there's spa music playing somewhere, funny. Nearly brings a tear to my eye, though it's quite pretty. I could lie here listening to it all day, actually, just that there are things to do. What things? Funny, can't remember just now. When I try to think, there's a kind of mist over my thoughts. I can smell it, if that makes sense. Like eucalyptus almost or sage surrounding me, burning. It's pleasant like a perfumed fog. All I see in my mind is a tall black vase of pretty red roses. White, red-nailed hands arranging the stems. Huh. Maybe if I shower or something it'll all clear and the things I have to do will come back to me. That sounds really nice.

But I hear voices out there now, beyond my bedroom, over the chimes and the waves. A man's voice and another man's voice. Both familiar. Both distressed-sounding. Rising in pitch like the gulls outside. Who's out there? Better go see. I grab a robe from the back of the door, white silk with black roses, very pretty. It gives off a violets-and-smoke scent, also pretty.

Just as I'm putting on the robe, I remember last night. Went somewhere, where did I go? Oh yes. The house on the cliff for my free treatment, that was nice. Very nice of Rouge to offer me that. I remember the red waiting room and the white faces in the walls and the glowing woman staring at her many mirror selves in the dark. I remember the lovely sound of chimes, like the chimes I'm hearing still. I remember a cold white paste being lathered onto my face, a marine algae mask, maybe. Pretty conventional stuff in the end, for all the baroque trappings. Probably drank too much of that red champagne, because I'm drawing a bit of a blank after that. You might find you have a few blanks after this, didn't someone say that? I recall a hand leading me down a dark, endless hall. I held the hand like I was blind. You might find you're in a bit of a fog. But you'll see the results in the mirror quite clearly. Letting go is so worth it.

What did I let go of?I wondered. But all I said was Oh good. I hope so.

Can't expect miracles, of course. Know better by now. But maybe I'll have a bit more of a glow today. That would be a very nice surprise. I take a quick look up in Mother's ceiling mirror before I go out the door to meet those voices, getting louder now.

Oh, look at that. Yes. I do seem to be glowing a little today. How nice.

Two men are in the living room, so my ears were right. One is wearing a linen suit and holding a briefcase; the other is shirtless and holding some sort of squeegee. Briefcase man looks a little like a goblin. The shirtless squeegee one looks like a merman, except instead of a fish tail, jeans. He's very pretty. It's a little funny to see the two of them talking. Such an odd couple. Who are they? I know them, I know I know them, but it's taking my brain a second to give me their names. While I wait, I watch a pretty white cat do figure eights around their legs as they talk to each other in low voices. Now they both turn to look at me. The looks on their faces are very strange.

I smile. "Hello, good morning," I say, because my brain still hasn't given me their names. "I was about to shower but then I heard your voices over the chimes and the waves."

They both just keep staring at me like they've seen… someone dead. Boo, I want to say. The pretty man with the squeegee looks stunned, why stunned? Just a bit of a glow. He grips the squeegee like a gun pointed right at me. I laugh to put him at ease. "Don't shoot," I say, but he doesn't laugh with me. Maybe he's an idiot or something. I turn to the goblin man. He might be more reasonable since he has a briefcase. But he looks just as shocked as the pretty squeegee man. His shock isn't so pretty because of his goblin face.

And then I remember. Of course. Mother's lawyer. This goblin man is Mother's lawyer.

"You're Mother's lawyer. Tell me, is there something wrong?"

That seems to snap him out of it, though he's still looking at me funny. "Belle," the goblin man says, like he's confused, like my name is a question. "Sorry to barge in like this… I came by because I've just received a notification from your mother's bank."

"Mother's bank." Huh. The roses in my mind flash redly in their vase. "What about Mother's bank?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd tell me," the goblin man says, trying to smile. Sweating a bit.

"Tell you?" Tell you what? I hear a faint swelling of those chimes. The mist over my thoughts grows thick. "I think you better tell me first."

"Well." And the goblin man clears his throat. He looks very pale. "It looks like all her debts—"

Beside me on the wall, one of Mother's many mirrors shines and I can't help but look into it. I'm a little nervous to look, I have to say. The way both these men are gaping at me, you'd think I have tentacles growing out of my face or something, haha. But when I turn to the mirror, I'm pleasantly surprised. Very pleasantly. My, my. Look at that.

"Belle, did you hear me?"

"What was that?" I'm still looking at my reflection, my face, which looks really very—

"I said, it looks like all of your mother's debts have been paid off."

"Paid off?"

"Yes. She's totally cleared."

"Cleared," I say to my glowing face in the glass. Looking into my own shining eyes. "Unbelievable. Well, that's wonderful, isn't it? A very pleasant surprise."

"It is. But—"

"What? Cleared is a good thing, isn't it?"

A very good thing, my mirror eyes say. Now I look at the goblin man in the glass, though it's hard. Very hard to look away from my own reflection just now, which is smiling at me like of course cleared is a good thing. The best thing. The happiest turn of events. He's still staring at my face with that strange, scared expression. Why scared? Shouldn't I be the scared one? Doesn't he look even more goblin-like in the mirror?

"Of course," he says. "I was just very surprised. I was under the impression… I was under another impression… about your finances."

"Another impression." I stare at his face in the mirror. Definitely he looks more like a goblin there. And his mouth movements don't quite sync up with his words. Sort of like there's a lag, if that makes sense, how funny. Maybe I'm still a bit out of it from last night. Or maybe there's a glitch in the glass. My eyes or the glass? Can't be my eyes, because I can see myself so incredibly clearly. And what I see. What I see is so—

"So you cleared her debts, then?" goblin man asks.

And the answer that comes to me right away is Yes. Definitely. I cleared them. In the glass, I feel my reflection nodding. Definitely, we cleared them. I'm nodding with her, of course. Nodding at both men because they're looking at me like they can't believe my face, let alone my words. "Definitely I cleared them. If not me, then who, right?"

"You really did?" the pretty squeegee man asks me softly. He looks incredulous. "When did you do that, Belle?" He knows my name, so I really must know his.

"Who is this man?" the goblin says, pointing at squeegee man, who's still staring at me like he's enchanted, a little afraid. Mouth open. Eyes wide. Really very like a merman if he weren't wearing jean shorts. What is he doing out of the sea? Nothing to be scared of, Tad. Tad, that's right.

"That's Tad, of course," I say, like I knew all along. "He's Mother's boyfriend. He cleans the windows."

The goblin frowns. "Boyfriend?"

"He does a wonderful job, don't you think? Each day he washes the dust and the spray and the grime that collects over the course of the day before. Washes it all away—right, Tad?"

"Yes," he says quietly.

"So that everything is always wonderfully clear. So that it doesn't even look like there's glass there. Nothing at all between you and the sea." I smile at Tad in the mirror. "Which creates such a pretty effect. But also a little scary. Maybe that's why you look a little scared."

He's still staring at me like he's in a trance.

The goblin's still frowning. "Belle, about the debt. Can I ask where you got the money?"

"The money?" In the glass, I can still feel my reflection smiling, though she's getting a bit annoyed with these questions now. So am I. "I found a chest of black pearls," I tell them. Yes, I can feel her thinking. Funny that I can feel her thinking.

The goblin and Tad exchange looks. "A chest of black pearls. Where?"

"In the lagoon," I say, staring at my face in the glass. Shining and nodding. Definitely. It's a little joke, of course. A pretty way to say, Stop asking me ugly money questions on this lovely morning, please. Because I don't know the answers, sirs. I only know cleared is a good thing. I only know this Glow I'm seeing in the glass is really quite something, can you go away so I can look more closely, more freelyat this Brightness? Like someone turned a light on inside me. Right beneath my skin. No wonder I'm smiling like that. Haven't smiled like that in a long time, I think.

"The lagoon," the goblin says, so suspiciously. "I see. So you're saying you forgot that you had hundreds of thousands of dollars. You forgot that."

"But then I remembered. Which reminds me." And it really does remind me. "I'm late for work."

"Work?" they both say.

But I'm really too late to explain. "If you'll excuse me."

"So wait," the goblin says. "Then your plan is to keep the apartment?"

And it's when he says it that I know. Suddenly the floor beneath my feet solidifies. I feel something soft slinking around my ankles. The pretty white cat walking circles around my legs now. Beside me in the glass, I feel my reflection nodding and nodding.

"You are?" Tad says.

Of course you are, she mouths.

"Of course I am. I'll have to fix it up. Tad's going to help me with that, aren't you, Tad? Sell some of these things. Get a very nice price."

"I thought you said you didn't want to sell her things, Belle," Tad says. "I thought you said you had an emotional attachment, remember?" He's pointing to some sort of black chest on the floor. I look at it and feel nothing. Just an old box of wood. Taking up space.

"Not attached at all," I say, a smile in my voice. "We can't form silly attachments like that." And my reflection's shaking her head as if to say, No, no. Can't do that. "Have to cut things out. Cut things off. When they do us no good. Letting go is so worth it, n'est-ce pas?"

He's just looking at me.

"Are you all right, Tad? You look like you've seen… someone dead."

"Just surprised," he murmurs. "By the change in your…" He trails off, staring at my face. "Feelings," he says at last.

"Belle, can I talk to you for a second?" This from the goblin, trying to look fatherly. It's hard with his evil sprite face. He pulls me away into a corner of the living room, a pretty room now that I really look at it. "Are you all right?" the goblin whispers. Perhaps he doesn't want to be overheard by the merman. "You seem a little… off."

"Off?" Over his shoulder, in another one of Mother's mirrors, my reflection smiles at me. A smile that warms my heart. "Not off at all. Roses."

"Roses?" he repeats, staring at me. Like he's not so sure about that. About my smile in the morning light. He's looking for cracks. "Maybe you should talk to someone," he says.

In the mirror, I see my reflection is laughing at him now. I laugh with her. It is funny. Talk to someone. "I am talking to someone. I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?"

"Yes," the goblin says softly. This is true. He can't deny it. He's staring so deeply into my face, like he's lost in some kind of dream.

"And I wish I could talk more," I lie. "But I really am late for work, I'm afraid."

"Where do you work, Belle?"

But the answer to that isn't one I have just now. Not in my head or on my tongue. Just roses beaming in the thickening mist. Just the lovely sound of those chimes from the Treatment Room, I can still hear them vibrating all around. Just my bright reflection smiling at me in the glass.

It's then that I notice it. Just beyond the goblin's hunched shoulder. The many mirrors in the living room. All of them sealed back up. All of them uncracked and shining now. All of them reflecting me back to myself. All of these selves smiling. All of them glowing. Well, more than a glow, really.

Way more than just a little glow, isn't it?