Chapter 35

35

JASON

"Holy shit," Zach mumbled, his face buried in the pillow next to me. Absently, I trailed my fingers up and down his back and over the curve of his ass as we both struggled to catch our breath. I'd had orgasms before—maybe not as many as most guys I knew—but I'd certainly jacked myself off. This, though…this was an entirely new experience. It was like watching a million-dollar fireworks display after only having experienced the thrill of sparklers in your backyard.

"That was…wow," I finished lamely.

Zach chuckled. "Yeah. Wow."

"Is it always that mind-blowing?" I could start to see why guys in the locker room were always chasing tail if this was what they were chasing.

Zach rolled off me, turning onto his side and laying his head on my chest, tucking it under my chin. I wrapped my arm around him, pulling him in close.

"I don't know how it is for anyone else, but for me, no. I've always enjoyed sex, but that was on a whole other level."

"Did you like it? Doing…that? To me?"

He lifted his head so he could look at me. "Babe, I don't think I've ever come so hard."

I could feel my cheeks heat, but I pressed on, unable to suppress my curiosity. "Do you think I could…maybe do that to you sometime?"

"You want to give me a blowjob?"

I bit my lip and nodded, feeling shy.

"We can try whatever you want. My body is yours to explore however you'd like."

I liked the sound of that but still felt hesitant. It must have shown on my face because he said, "How about this? I promise if we do anything that makes me uncomfortable, I'll tell you. And you do the same. Okay?"

"Yeah. I can do that."

He leaned forward and kissed me. "I loved it. I loved every moment of what we just did. Did you?"

"It was amazing." I kissed him again. "You sure you've never done that before? You seemed confident."

He raised an eyebrow. "It helped that I knew you had no one to compare me to."

I shook my head as he tucked himself back into my side with his head on my chest. I shivered when he ran his fingers through my chest hair. His touch felt better than it had any right to.

As we lay there, fingers trailing up and down each other's bodies, reality started to creep back into the bubble we'd created, and along with it came guilt. Our sisters were lying in hospital beds with severe injuries while we were in bed chasing orgasms.

"Are we terrible people?" I whispered.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess because our sisters are in the hospital and we're here fooling around."

"I think," he started, his words measured, "that sometimes when everything's gone to shit, it's okay to take some time for yourself. To find joy in the moments between all the hard stuff." He drew another breath. "And I think the girls would be high-fiving us if they knew what we just did. Well, maybe not every detail of what we just did…"

I chuckled. "You're probably right."

"We probably should get cleaned up and head back." He tipped his head up to look at the clock on my nightstand. "Maybe pick up some dinner for everyone on our way."

I wrapped both arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "Sounds like a plan."

We showered together, Zach surprising me when he took the soap from me and lathered my body. I thought he'd want to work me over again, maybe we'd get each other off with mutual hand jobs, but he seemed to understand that as much as I'd enjoyed our time together earlier, I needed some space to process.

Instead, he washed me from head to toe, working the soap into my skin with gentle fingers, then rinsed me off, trailing kisses along my clean skin. He repeated the treatment with my hair, lathering me up and massaging my scalp as best he could with the height difference. I tried to return the treatment, but he batted my hands away, saying we needed to finish up quickly so we could get back.

My heart squeezed at the tenderness he showed me, his desire to take care of me without expecting me to return the favor. As good as it had felt earlier—my cock in his mouth, coming down his throat—it was tender moments like this that meant the most to me. He made me feel special. Cared for. Worthy.

For someone who'd just figured out his demisexuality a few weeks ago, I was in awfully deep.

After toweling off and dressing, we hopped in the truck and headed back to the city. Zach texted his dad, seeking updates on the girls and checking to see if they wanted us to bring them food.

We arrived at the hospital around eight o'clock, arms loaded with bags of burgers and fries from the drive-thru down the street. Mandy had been awake for about twenty minutes mid-afternoon but otherwise had slept. The doctors said that was normal, that her body needed the rest to heal. With Drea, there was no change. I tried to be grateful that she hadn't gotten worse, but I knew Zach was worried. Having your sister sedated like that was scary.

We stopped outside Drea's room first. There was a moment before Mr. Jacobs realized we were there when we observed him completely unguarded. He wore black joggers and a Creighton hoodie. I'd never seen him dressed so casually, though that wasn't as startling as the look on his face. He was leaning forward, with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of his mouth, and his body angled toward Drea's bed. There were circles under his eyes and his usually perfectly styled hair was a mess, but the shattered look in his eyes had us standing frozen in the hallway. I'd never seen a man look so…lost.

Zach stepped up to the door, knocking gently against the glass. His dad looked up, the corners of his mouth tipping up ever so slightly, but that tragic look remained as if the mask he'd worn all these years had been irreparably shattered. He rose, coming toward us, and we backed up so he could join us in the hallway.

Feeling like an outsider, I tapped Zach on the shoulder, then nodded toward Mandy's door, indicating that I'd head down there. He nodded in acknowledgment, and I walked away.

My parents came out of the room as soon as they saw me, and after confirming with one of the nurses that they'd let us know if Mandy woke up, the three of us headed to the waiting room to eat our food. I couldn't help but look into Drea's room as we passed, noting that Zach and his father appeared to be talking, heads bowed slightly, bodies angled toward each other.

We found a table in a corner of the space and spread our food out. By that point, our burgers were lukewarm, but I didn't think we were tasting much of anything anyway. We ate quietly, lost in thought and worry, and I was grateful I wasn't required to make conversation.

My phone vibrated in my pocket indicating an incoming call, so I set my burger down and wiped my hands with a napkin before retrieving it, surprised to see the call was coming from the station. I stepped away from my family as I swiped to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jason. This is Andrew. We just wanted to see how your sister and her friend are doing."

"Oh, um, Mandy's hanging in there. They had to put rods in her leg, and she had some internal bleeding they had to manage, but she was awake for a little bit today, which the doctors said was a good sign. Drea—my boyfr—um, my sister's friend who was driving the car, is still under sedation."

I'd almost referred to Zach as my boyfriend. I wasn't sure where he stood on that label, but I realized that's how I thought of him, had been thinking of him for a while now. I just hadn't said it aloud. When he'd left in January, we'd agreed we wouldn't see anyone while we explored this…thing between us, but we'd also agreed not to label it either. Now, though, the label felt right for what he meant to me. It was something we probably should discuss.

"I'm sorry to hear that, man. That's tough."

"Yeah," I said awkwardly.

"And how are you holding up?"

I felt the flush start to burn up the back of my neck. "Oh, um, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." I wondered if there'd ever come a time when I'd stop feeling embarrassed and guilty about how I'd reacted on-scene. "I'm sorry…for the way I acted yesterday."

"None of that, now. There's no need to apologize. Any of us might have had a similar reaction had it been someone we cared about."

"You're not…mad?"

"Nah, man. None of us are. We just want you to take care of yourself. You let us know when you're ready to come back. And Chief's got some numbers for a therapist he recommends everyone see when they go through something like this."

"Seriously? You guys want me back?"

"Yeah. We do. Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

I snorted. "I'll work on it."

"Cool. I'll touch base later in the week to check in."

"Okay. Um, thanks for calling."

"Talk soon."

"Bye."

I disconnected the call, a lump forming in my throat at the kindness he'd shown me, that all of them had shown me if he were to be believed. I blew out a breath, running my fingers through my hair a couple of times, the tiniest bit of weight lifting from my shoulders. Mandy and Drea weren't out of the woods, and I was still worried about my ability to handle the job after all this, but at least I knew I still had a place waiting when I was ready.

I returned to my family, my mom looking up with a question in her eyes. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. That was just the station. They were, uh, checking on the girls. And I guess me too."

"Well, that's sweet of them."

"Yeah. They're good folks. Said I could take the time I needed and come back when I was ready."

Her eyes softened. I was sure she was recalling our conversation from this morning. God, that seemed like three days ago. "That's good, honey."

I nodded, and we finished our meal.