Chapter 30

30

JASON

I tucked my phone into my pants pocket, smiling at the picture Zach had just sent me. It was late afternoon in LA and he had just gotten back to his dorm after he and Clayton had hit the gym for a workout. He'd snapped a selfie of himself smiling, fresh out of the shower, with a caption that read Thinking of you .

The sight of him with his hair mussed, skin still damp, and with a bright smile made my heart ache and my cock twitch. I adjusted myself, something I hadn't had to worry about nearly so often until I'd started dating him. I took a deep breath, trying to center myself and tamp down the ever-present longing I felt whenever I thought about Zach.

I'd been worried when he left that with time and distance, he'd realize his feelings toward me had been limited to proximity. Maybe he'd decide he wasn't bisexual after all. Or maybe he'd simply decide the effort of figuring this out long distance wasn't worth it. But in the two weeks since he'd been gone, he'd done nothing but show me how invested he truly was. He texted me off and on throughout the day and we spoke over the phone or by video call nearly every night. He sent me random pictures from his day and told me he missed me often. I'd never had a single person make me feel so…valued.

An alarm sounded in the firehouse, followed by Andrew, my field training officer, popping his head into the breakroom where I'd come in for a snack. "Let's go, probie. You're riding along on this one."

A combination of nerves and excitement coursed through me as I followed him out to the apparatus bay, throwing on my jacket as I climbed into the ambulance. After a week of onboarding and in-house training, I'd finally been cleared to start going on ride-alongs as part of my required field training, but we hadn't had any calls until now.

I listened as information came in from dispatch about the nature of the emergency and where it was located. Apparently, there'd been an accident not too far away involving a single, overturned vehicle. The accident had been called in by a witness who reported that the car had swerved to miss a deer.

With lights flashing and sirens blaring, we took off in the direction of the accident, arriving just a few minutes later. We were just outside of town on the county highway that ran between Brinkley and Astaire. I couldn't see much until I stepped out of the truck, turning to follow in the direction of my FTO and his partner, Jenny.

Time stopped.

Sound ceased.

I forgot to breathe.

Glass. So much glass.

A deer on the double yellow stripe. Lying in its own blood.

An electric-blue Lexus with its wheels in the air.

Zach. That's Zach's car. No, he's in LA. Drea. Drea's been driving Zach's car since he didn't take it with him to California. Mandy. Mandy's always with Drea. They didn't have school today, but they still had dance class. No. No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no!

I didn't remember shoving Andrew out of the way. Didn't remember trying to yank the door open or cutting my hands on the glass. Someone was yelling, pleading for help, and I wasn't even aware it was me until someone grabbed my arms and yanked me back. In the end, it took three firefighters to restrain me, to pull me out of sight of the mangled vehicle, and even then, I still pushed against them, fighting to get back to Mandy and Drea, sure I was the only one who could help them.

"You have to stop fighting us!" Chief said. "We can't help them if we're fighting with you."

"It's my sister and her friend. I have to help them. You have to let me?—"

"Jason!" His tone was razor-sharp. With both hands on my shoulders, he shook me. "You have to stop fighting me. We're going to do everything we can to help your sister, but if you don't stop fighting, I'm going to have Deputy Charlie put you in handcuffs and lock you in the back of his patrol car." He nodded to the deputy standing a short distance away near his car, stopping traffic from entering the area.

All of the fight left my body as I realized he was right. I couldn't help them while I was in this state, and I was only making it harder for them to do their job. He felt the shift in me, his grip on my shoulders loosening from one of restraint to one of comfort. "I'm sorry, son. But I promise, we're going to do our best to get them out of here safely. You just sit tight."