Chapter 24

24

ZACH

I watched Jason pull up in front of the house and sit in his truck for a moment. My stomach flipped at his hesitation, wondering what could be the cause. It had been ridiculous to ask him over here this morning, but I'd been up since five and had worked myself into a tizzy as I contemplated the best time to give him his gift. Or if I should even give him his gift at all. I'd bought gifts for girlfriends before, but never for a friend. Would he read too much into it? Did I want him to? Drea had said he looked at me the same way I looked at him, whatever that meant, and I thought there might be part of me that wanted to find out if she was right. Another part hoped it was a secret I'd take to my grave, if only so I didn't scare him away. God, I felt like I was back in middle school with my first crush. My palms were sweaty, my pulse was racing, and I was overthinking the shit out of everything.

Eventually, Jason got out of his truck and made his way up the drive. I opened the door, shivering as I was met with a blast of cold air. He'd been right that it was too cold for a run this morning.

"Hey," I said, my voice quiet in the sleeping house.

He stepped in through the door, his broad chest brushing mine, sending prickles of electricity skittering across my skin. As I shut the door behind him, he kicked off his boots and began stripping out of his coat. He wore a navy-blue sweater that stretched perfectly across his broad frame, hugging the muscles of his shoulders and back. My eyes continued their perusal down to where his jeans hugged his ass, and as he turned around, I admired the way his quads filled out the front. Realizing he'd stopped moving, my eyes snapped up to his, hoping he hadn't caught me staring, but the small smile and flush creeping up his neck into his cheeks suggested I'd been busted.

I cleared my throat. "Let's, um, head to my room."

I led the way down the hall to my room. He followed me in and closed the door.

"I take it everyone is still sleeping?" he asked.

"Yeah. We aren't heading over to Aunt Amy's until noon, but I think Drea wants us to have breakfast as a family and do presents here first, so I'm guessing she'll get up around eight or nine." Since Mom had passed, Drea had tried to keep some of the traditions alive, like monkey bread with sides of bacon for breakfast.

Jason walked over to the wall of glass looking out over the lake and stood for a moment without saying anything. I fidgeted, unsure if I should sit on the bed or go stand next to him. God, I was awkward as fuck.

"It's pretty in winter." He turned and looked back at me.

I stepped over to stand beside him, looking out at the thin layer of ice blanketing the water below. Winter wasn't my favorite season on the lake, but there was something eerily beautiful in the absence of color during the winter months. A clean slate. Mother Nature in her slumber, saving her energy for that time of rebirth in the spring, when the ice melts and the trees awaken again.

"Do you like winter? What's your favorite season?"

"I don't know. I guess there are aspects I like about all of them."

I snorted. "Do you always go for the neutral answer?"

He shrugged, but I thought I saw a flicker of hurt flash in his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with?—"

"I'm sorry," I was quick to say, not wanting him to be upset. "I was just flipping you shit. It's actually one of the things I like about you. You're always thinking about things from multiple perspectives, inclusive of everyone's thoughts and feelings."

"You make it sound like I was picking an answer because I didn't want to offend you when I really do like aspects of all of them. I just don't always think there's a clear answer for everything. Most things aren't black and white. I tend to see the shades of gray in between." He blinked, his eyes widening as if he'd just realized something, but he turned away before I could get a good read on him.

I lifted my hand, thinking to place it on his arm, but I pulled up short. I wasn't sure how to act around him. How to hold myself back from those little touches. How to hide the want that burned inside me.

I let my hand fall to my side and stepped back, putting some distance between us. Clearing my throat, I gestured to the chair at my desk, the only other place to sit besides the bed. "Do you wanna sit down?"

He looked between me and the chair. "Uh. Sure." He took a seat, the chair looking ridiculously small under his massive frame, while I sat on the edge of the bed. "So you said you had a gift for me? Oh, wait…shit!" His eyebrows climbed up his forehead. "Hang on. I'll be right back."

Before I could make sense of what was happening, he tore out of my room and down the hall. Moments later, he returned with a small, wrapped box in his hand. "Sorry. I forgot I stuck your gift in my coat pocket."

He held out his hand, and I took the present from him, sucking in a breath as I examined it. The box was wrapped in gold paper, with a smooshed bow, and it looked like he'd used half a roll of tape on it. I let out my breath, relieved to know I wasn't the only one who couldn't wrap a gift for shit.

Turning, I leaned over, grabbed his gift from my bedside table, and handed it to him. It was smaller than the one he'd given me, a flat box wrapped in blue paper with snowflakes and adorned with a simple silver ribbon.

He took it from me but neither of us made a move to open our gift, locked in a stalemate of Midwestern politeness. "Go ahead and open it," I said, but he shook his head. "No, that's okay. You go first."

I rolled my eyes. "How 'bout we go at the same time?"

He smiled and nodded, and we both tore into our paper. He got his open first, his gasp pulling my attention from my own gift that I was still trying to find a way to get into through all the tape. He'd pulled the paper away and lifted the lid and was now holding the box closer, inspecting the contents inside. His eyes flashed to mine, then back, and I bit my lip, waiting for him to say something.

"This is so cool," he finally said, pulling the keychain out of the box. It had a Star of Life emblem painted in blue enamel on a metal disk, attached to a strip of black mesh with a key ring on one end and a small carabiner on the other. I hadn't gone looking for it, but when I'd seen it at the kiosk, I'd known I had to get it for him. "I haven't even passed my certification yet."

I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to ignore the flush burning up my neck and into my face. "But you passed your final with high marks. The cert test is just a formality."

"You give me too much credit, but thank you. This is really…this is cool." His blue eyes watched me with so much intensity that I had to look away for fear he'd see all my secrets. "Open yours."

I dug into the paper, finally finding a corner that wasn't taped down, and tore it open. My mouth dropped open as I got a glimpse of the contents. I pulled the paper all the way off and couldn't help but stare. "Seriously?" I asked. "How did you…?"

"You can design them on their website. It wouldn't let me choose the color of the jersey, but I was able to get your number."

He'd given me a personalized Funko Pop that looked just like me. He was right. The jersey was black instead of blue, but the number was mine, and I was holding a soccer ball in one hand and a gold trophy in the other. I couldn't believe the thought he'd put into this.

"This is amazing. I can't believe you did this." Unable to stop myself, I launched forward and pulled him into a hug. "This is the most thoughtful thing anyone's ever given me."

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer. I basked in his warmth, in his clean scent, in the feel of his strong arms around me. I squeezed my eyes shut, allowing myself to savor this feeling for just a moment so I could take it with me when I went back to LA. I breathed deeply and thought I felt him stiffen, jerking me back into reality. I pulled away, breaking the connection, reminding myself he was off-limits, at least in that way.

I cleared my throat. "Thanks, man. This is really cool."

He held up the keychain. "Yeah, um, me too. Thank you."

His phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket, smiling when he read the display. He quickly typed out a response, then stood with a rueful smile. "That was Mandy. Her exact words were, ‘Where the fuck are you?' I guess I should get going."

"I'll walk you out."

We made our way down the hall, where he pulled on his boots and coat and then turned to look at me. His eyes grew serious, though a soft smile played on his lips. "Merry Christmas, Zach."

"Merry Christmas."

And then he was gone.