4.

R OOSTER

"Stop pushing me, asshole!" I said as I waded through the excited crowd. "If y'all don't cut the shit, I'm gonna start swinging, and none of you want that to happen!" I finally made it to the barn and to the corral where I kept the grain but still had to navigate around the chickens and avoid getting stepped on by the donkeys while I worked the latch to get inside. "If you want to eat, you'll back the fuck up! Give me some room! I could turn any damn one of you into dinner, you know."

"It never gets old," I heard my friend Clark say from the doorway. "They know as well as I do that you wouldn't hurt any of them."

"Maybe I would," I muttered as I shoved Pancho out of the way so I could shut the corral door and gather their food in peace. "It wasn't this crowded in prison!"

"My guess is that the men in prison have more manners than these spoiled assholes. I hope you realize that the fact that they have no manners is all your fault."

"Did you come out here just to piss me off, or do you have an actual reason for being here?"

"I need help."

I stopped what I was doing and looked over at my friend before I asked, "What's wrong?"

Clark waded through the menagerie of hungry animals and rested his arms on the top of the stall before he said, "It's nothing horrible, but the kids are both feeling crummy and didn't sleep well last night. We don't want to send them to daycare, but I've got deliveries coming in and Dianna has a doctor's appointment she can't miss."

"Bring them over. I'll take care of them as long as you need. You know that."

"Just wanted to check," Clark said as he absentmindedly scratched Lefty's nose.

"Dianna okay?"

Clark blew out a long breath before he said, "Well, she's in denial, but I've been through this before. Hell, man, so have you."

I chuckled and said, "Let's take a walk down memory lane to a time when the world was a more uncertain and dangerous place. A place where a man could get in trouble just for breathing . . ."

"Hallelujah," Clark interrupted.

"A place where smells were more intense . . ."

"I stink."

"Where sounds were more irritating . . ."

"Apparently, I walk loud," Clark muttered.

"The air conditioner never worked the way it was supposed to . . ."

"Why is it so fucking hot in here?" Clark said in an almost perfect imitation of Dianna's voice and demeanor.

I burst out laughing and asked, "How far along do you think she is?"

"She's still puking."

"It's early days then. You've got a long road ahead of you, my friend."

"Don't tell her I said anything. You know how she is."

"I won't say a damn word. I like my head attached to my shoulders."

Clark burst out laughing and reached up to touch his cheek. "Is mine still connected?"

"Just barely."

"This is gonna be all my fault."

"Of course it is."

Clark sighed before he grinned and said, "We're having a baby."

"Mads is gonna shit!"

"I know."

"Bring the kids over whenever you're ready, and you can leave them with me all day."

"It's your day off. I wouldn't . . ."

"I can sit on my ass and watch television just as easily with them snuggled up on the couch beside me as I can alone."

"You didn't have any plans?"

"Nah. Nothing too pressing."

"I appreciate it."

"You know I'm here anytime you need me."

"I know. Thanks, friend."

"Anytime."

"I'll go round them up, and we'll be back in a little bit."

"Will you ask Mads to make me a hangover special?"

Clark chuckled before he said, "I thought you looked a little green around the gills."

"Yeah, and that's going to go over well with the chores I've gotta do. Give me thirty minutes or so before you come back. I've got shit to wade through."

"Have fun, Old MacDonald."

"Why do I have all these damn animals anyway?" I asked before I reached out and scratched Girth between his ears. "I don't even like them half the time."

"Bullshit," Clark said as he walked out the barn door. "You're a sucker for them, and you know it."

I didn't respond because there wasn't really anything I could say to that. I had always loved animals, even though on mornings like this, I'd rather be laying in bed with no responsibilities. As if to remind me that wasn't ever going to happen on their watch, the chickens started causing a fuss. Cluck Norris announced again that it was morning, and the donkeys joined in the chorus.

"Oh, shut up."

◆◆◆

"Rooster!"

I opened one eye and stared at my ex-wife before I gently pulled my arm out from under Clara's head and then turned to my side and slowly let Conner slide onto the bed. When I was finally able to sit up, I rotated my neck to work the kinks out as I flexed my hand to get the circulation back in my fingers.

Once I was out of bed, I walked over to the bedroom door and pulled it shut behind me once I was out in the hall with Dianna. She walked toward the living room and stopped next to the couch. When she looked at me, I knew what was wrong. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. I could tell that she'd been crying, so without saying a word, I pulled her into my arms for a hug. We stood there for a few minutes as she soaked the shoulder of my shirt with her tears, which joined the drool Conner left when he was sleeping on my chest and the damp sweaty spots from his warm body and Clara's where they were snuggled with me.

"Does this feel like deja vu, or is it just me?"

Dianna let out a watery laugh as she leaned back and looked into my face. "I did it again."

"From what I understand, you weren't exactly trying not to get knocked up."

"Well . . ."

"If I recall, you said, ‘If it's meant to be, it will happen.' I guess this means it's meant to be."

"It's twins," Dianna wailed.

"Fuck," I mumbled as I pulled her back into my arms. To make light of the situation, I teased, "Does this mean we get double the pregnancy shit?"

"Shit?" Dianna asked menacingly, her voice muffled by my shirt.

"You know what I mean. Don't even try to deny that your body is possessed by demons when you're pregnant. As a matter of fact, the third time Conner threw up on me this afternoon, I was convinced that he was still a demon."

"I thought you smelled funny but assumed it was just me."

"You're like a bloodhound when you're knocked up. What's up with that?"

"I have no idea," Dianna said with a grimace as she pulled away from me. "Did you shower?"

"No. I thought that since Conner and Clara were so nice as to share their vomit with me that I should just marinate in it for the duration."

"They both puked?"

"Multiple times."

"I'm sorry."

"They've been able to keep down the Pedialyte I gave them a few hours ago, so I think they're out of the woods. If I didn't know better, I'd think you and Clark asked me to babysit today just so you could be out of the line of fire."

"You're such a good godfather, Rooster," Dianna said proudly.

"Suck up. Now, tell me why you're crying."

"Because I'm old and tired and . . ."

"You're not old, but I understand the tired part. However, there's a way we can fix that, and I'm not even going to listen to any arguments on the subject."

"It's not part of our five-year plan to hire anyone full-time," Dianna said firmly as she shook her head. "We've still got a little less than a year left of saving and . . ."

"And we'll turn that into two because there's no way in hell we're going to start renovations when you could give birth at any moment. We need to put it off for at least a year after you give birth. Maybe even longer since there are two in there."

"But . . ."

"Which will be perfect because that will give us plenty of time to save even more and give ourselves some wiggle room. We might even be able to put back enough to make things a little more bougie and draw in a different customer base. Apparently, rich folks go gaga over soaking tubs and granite countertops."

Dianna made it a point to look at my kitchen where I had installed granite countertops just last year and then looked at me with eyebrows raised and head tilted to look down the hall toward my bedroom where she knew the master bathroom had a large soaking tub.

"I like what I like, okay?"

"I do believe that you just described yourself as bougie, Rooster."

"Whatever. Plans aren't set in stone . . . or granite, as the case may be. Pushing the renovations a little further into the future won't kill anyone, unlike you will if we try and get started when you're in the throes of pregnancy or walking around in a fog because you haven't had any decent sleep."

"We need to have a meeting, Rooster. You can't just decide all of this on your own."

"As if Clark or Mads would argue with my idea," I scoffed.

"They might."

"They won't."

"But they might."

"I want a divorce!"

Dianna burst out laughing and said, "I already gave you that, butthead."

"Leave the kids here for the evening and go hang out in the kitchen with your husband."

"Can't do it. The smell of meat just . . ." Dianna gulped and then shook her head. "Nope."

"Go pick up Kerrigan and bring her to me, then take the evening for yourself and get your mind right. Do some online shopping - times two - and get in the mommy zone again."

"I haven't left the mommy zone in seven years," Dianna argued.

"But you're gonna have some squishy little babies that smell good and don't talk back. You know how I love those." I put my hands on Dianna's shoulders and smiled. "You've got this, babe. You're a great mom, but you know you're an even better mom if you take a little time for yourself."

"You're the best girlfriend ever," Dianna teased.

"Shut up," I mumbled. "Bring me my kid, and then go away."

"When I come back, can we hang around in our pajamas and talk about cute boys?"

"Divorce! I want a divorce!"

Dianna threw her arms around me and squeezed tightly before she said, "Love you, Roo. You're the best friend a girl could have."

"You can pay me back by finding me a woman who is enough like you that I can tolerate her for an extended period of time but is different enough that it wouldn't be weird."

"I think I have just the woman in mind."

"Good. Vet her carefully, and make sure she's not nuts - or at least not quite as nuts as you - and then introduce us."

"Hmm," Dianna hummed with a peculiar little grin. "I think I'll just let nature take its course and say that if it's meant to happen, it will."

"Seemed to work out in your case."

"And I'm almost positive it will work out in yours."

◆◆◆

"How are Conner and Clara?" I asked as I used the bar towel to scrub the sticky rings the last patron's shots had left.

Dianna sat down on the barstool in front of me and said, "They're good. How are you?"

I glared at her for a second and said, "Well, since your kids gave me the plague, it took me a day or two to recover, but I'm finally back in fighting shape."

"I thought you were off again tonight."

"I'm supposed to be, but I was going stir-crazy in the house, so I came up to check on things."

"What is it you tell me all the time? ‘We've got great employees, so you can take some time to yourself.'"

"We do, but that doesn't mean I can sit on my ass at home for days at a time without going nuts. If it wasn't raining I'd take a long ride, but it's coming down in sheets out there. I heard that the pass is starting to flood."

"Yeah, we got an alert about that not long ago."

"Here you go, Dianna," Loren, one of the servers who worked in the restaurant, said as she set a bag of to-go containers on the bar. "You wanted me to put it on Cabin 23's tab, right?"

"Yes, thank you," Dianna said as she smiled at the young woman. "I'll deliver it myself in just a minute."

Loren smiled back and then nodded at me before she took off back to the restaurant. I glanced out at the rain and asked, "You're doing deliveries now?"

"I thought for sure that the rain would lighten up before the order was ready, but I guess I'm out of luck. It's going to suck going back there in this and then having to come back. I'll be soaked to the skin." I raised one eyebrow and Dianna added, "Unless you'd like to deliver it on your way home."

"Did you come in here to check on me, or did you come in here to con me into being your errand boy?"

"Both."

"I'm such a sucker," I mumbled as I tossed the rag into the bucket of soapy water. "Cabin 23? I knew someone rented it but haven't seen anyone out and about."

"It's a long-term guest. They've already been in there a week, and the rest of us have interacted with them several times. As a matter of fact they've become Mad's best customer," Dianna said with a bark of laughter. "She swears she's going to have to roast twice as much every week now."

I looked around the bar and realized that the weather was making business even slower than it usually was on Wednesdays, so I shrugged and pulled the bag of food over. "I'll drop it by on my way."

"Thank you, Roo. You're the best."

"No, I'm a sucker," I argued.

"Don't forget that I'm taking Kerrigan to school in the morning so I can meet with her teacher about the class party."

"I forgot about that."

"You can sleep in and enjoy your morning."

"As if all those damn animals will let me do that," I grumbled. "The goddamn rooster has figured out how to escape, and the little bastard will stand on my porch and scream until I come out to feed them."

"I've heard about that."

"Did you get a complaint from my new neighbor?"

"No, but Clark told me that every morning he lays in bed and wonders which recipe to use when he finally loses his shit on your rooster."

"Cluck Norris is a badass, so Clark better bring his A-game."

"I'll let him know," Dianna said as she slid off the stool and started walking away. "Thanks for delivering that order to the guest for me. Tell them I said Mads is eager to hear about progress."

"On what?"

"The book. I'll let her tell you about it."

My little sister loved to read - usually hockey romance, which I didn't understand at all since she'd never been interested in sports and had never attended a hockey game in her life. However, as far as I was concerned, she could stick with the hockey shit because a few months ago, she was obsessed with MC romance, whatever the hell that was, and had insisted that she wanted to find herself a hot biker with a rough past and a heart of gold.

When she told me that, I had just come home from my annual trip to Sturgis with my friends, and the thought of my little sister with anyone I'd met there was enough to make me shudder.

"I'm taking off, Devon," I called out to the assistant manager who was in charge on my nights off. He waved at me and then looked back at the customer he'd been talking to so I picked up the food and walked around the bar to leave.

After two days at home alone, I was irritated at the thought of having to spend another night by myself, but the weather didn't seem to care about my feelings. If anything, it matched my mood.

Since Dianna told me that she and Clark were having another baby - twins, no less, I had been all in my feelings about where my life was going and what my future looked like. With Mads dating and focused on her future now and Kerrigan's newfound independence that was just growing day by day, I felt more alone than ever.

It seemed like the world had taken off and left me behind, especially since I'd attended two weddings lately and watched some of my good friends set off into the future with a badass woman by their side.

Even when I'd been in prison, the thought of someday having a family of my own had been at the forefront of my mind. Of course, I married Dianna soon after I got out, and for a time, we made a family together. That obviously didn't work out. It seemed perfect that I would marry my best friend and spend the rest of my life with her. That was what we were doing now, just not together in any way. We were friends who were really more like family.

She and I both knew that our friendship wouldn't have withstood married life - and then she found Clark, and I watched that romance progress into what I'd hoped our life together could be. However, I was well aware that the dynamics of our relationship wasn't what made a long and lasting marriage.

She stood by me while I was in prison because she was grateful for what I'd done that sent me there. Looking back, I could see that the guilt she felt for the years I had lost while I was inside forced her to think that I was her future. Luckily, we both saw through that facade pretty quickly, and there was Clark, waiting in the wings for the woman he loved more than life itself to finally be able to see him.

I wouldn't change my life for anything - not even if it meant I could avoid prison - because it gave me my daughter and two friends I could never live without.

Now, if I could just find a woman to complete my life and maybe even give me the chance to be a father again . . .

I stepped out onto the porch and watched the rain for a second as I shook off my melancholy thoughts. There was no sense dwelling on what I didn't have when my life was full of things that some people could only dream of - a successful business, family that loved me, a daughter I adored, and friends who would do anything for me just like I'd do anything for them.

As far as anything else, like Dianna said - if it's meant to be, it will happen.