Eloise

Nicolas wants me. He wants me.

Three words make my stomach tighten in knots and I can't tell if I want to giggle or acknowledge the heat coiling around in my stomach.

Shouldn't have eaten that cookie. Not the one in my hand either. However, as I'm not trusting my tongue enough to speak, I shove the rest of the peanut butter one into my mouth. The sweetness would be the perfect distraction if I weren't currently trying to wrap my mind around his words.

He wants me. He knows about Jake and I as well. He doesn't care.

As the heat swells in my stomach, my knees brush as I squirm on my seat.

Well, this conversation has suddenly taken a dangerous turn. Add in the truth of how I want him too, I have to be very careful from this point forward. Any slip-ups and I won't be able to act rational about this.

"I followed your bakery before," he continues on like he hasn't knocked me off balance here. "Kept up with you that way. I wasn't sure if you'd still want to keep in contact with me, so I stayed back. That's one of my regrets."

"Only one?" I rasp as I guzzle down my bitter coffee. "There are more?"

His mouth twitches. "A whole list of them, Eloise. I regret letting Jake get to you first."

A rush of butterflies hit me all at once. Oh boy. I'm not ready for this conversation. Not in a public place like this. I don't need any more bad publicity. All these college kids have phones and if any of them decide to record a crazy woman getting all flushed over a few words, I can't risk becoming a repeating offender.

His stare is growing heavier with every word that leaves his lips. Looking like he's got plenty to say, I sway as I move to my feet.

"I think I'm ready to leave."

He's already on his feet. Instead of trying to talk me into staying, he collects our trash and ditches it. Pressing a hand against my lower back, he leads me toward the exit.

The heat of his fingers seeps down to join the rest of the heat collecting between my thighs.

I should not have eaten those cookies.

Can I really excuse my behavior on such a thing? Yes. Nicolas used to do this same thing all the time. This is no different than his old tactics to get what he wants.

He wants me.

"You are evil," I murmur under my breath.

"I don't have the slightest clue of what you mean." Feigning innocence, his thumb brushes the dip in my back.

Grunting, I hear the baristas wish us a good day as we make our exit.

"Let me drive you home." After holding the door open while leading me out of the cafe, he makes the offer. "It'll be less of a headache for you."

What I'm worried about isn't a headache. It's the throbbing between my legs. The throbbing that should not be there.

I shouldn't take his offer. Unless I want to invite even more trouble into my life, I might as well tell him I'd rather walk home at this rate.

Instead, I nod my head and accept the arm he offers up. I'm making it worse by touching him. Beneath his shirt, he feels strong. Does he go to the gym during his free time?

Walking alongside him, he leads us in the direction of a parking garage.

"I assumed you'd be the type of person to have your own driver." Coming to stop, Nicolas pulls out a fob to a car that looks like all the ones surrounding it. Not a sports car or something a man with his sort of money could own.

"Don't tell me you're disappointed." Smirking, he releases me long enough to open the door. "You've never been the type to be impressed with money. Don't tell me that's changed."

I scoff at that. "Hardly. I was simply curious."

Money changes people, and I'm glad to see Nic hasn't changed by much. He's still the same guy who enjoys teasing me by the looks of it.

Once he's sliding in the driver's side, it takes a few directions to get him to my apartment complex.

Nicolas peers up at the tall building and whistles softly. "Jake didn't hold back in spoiling you."

My cheeks warm at the mention of the other man. "I tried to find something cheaper but he insisted."

If anyone likes to blow money, it's Jake. The way he throws money around is a bit startling. Especially as the financial director. I can only hope their budget isn't as open as his wallet.

"Well, it's nice nonetheless. Can't complain about the location either." Shutting the car off, I'm caught off guard when he pushes his door open.

"You're coming with me?" Sputtering, I get out. This is no good. "You don't have to go out of your way and inconvenience yourself–"

"I want to," he assures with a smile. So relaxed, so warm. Just looking at the curve is enough to knock down any forming defenses. "If you really don't want me to, I'll leave."

I don't want him to. I…can't. Not because I'm worried about him knowing where I live, nothing like that. I don't trust myself. Not when it comes to this man.

"It's okay." The words come out before I can stop them and I've doomed myself eternally. Reassuring myself that we'll be doing nothing but walking, I push down these worrisome thoughts. I'm a grown woman who can control herself. Nothing will happen as long as I don't want it to.

I can do this.

Strolling inside the building, we ride up to the fourth floor. The entire way, I'm fumbling to find my keys while keeping my eyes off of him. The ride feels incredibly long and having him within my reach is torturous.

I don't want Nicolas. I don't.

If I continue to deny the truth, even I'll have to believe the words eventually.

I will not mess up this opportunity by wanting a man from my past. Even if there's a flutter in my stomach every time he glances in my direction, or a certain heat that crawls up from the depth of my insides every time a deep chuckle rumbles through him, I want to remain strong.

As the elevator doors slide open, I inhale deeply. Without realizing it, I'd been holding my breath long enough to make my lungs burn.

"You alright?" With a brow arched, his amusement melts away and concern comes forth.

"Peachy." Grunting, I walk. With Nicolas on my heel, he follows me down a hall and hits the corner with a matching pace.

With my door only a few steps away, I'm that much closer from doing something I can't take back. Once I'm alone, I can crush these thoughts down and pretend I never thought them in the first place. I'll bury a hand between my thighs and try to ease the throbbing.

Unlocking the door, I pause before twisting the handle. Looking back at Nicolas, my heart picks up in speed. I can feel my pulse thumping with each swallow.

More than once, I order myself not to invite him inside. This shared moment of ours has already lasted long enough.

I don't want to cause any confusion. This man, at the position he's in, can find someone who isn't skittish.

"Eloise?" He tilts his head, completely unaware of the mental battle I'm facing. "Did you forget something?"

Parting my lips, the answer doesn't immediately come out. Instead, I choose to ignore the warning bells ringing loud.

"I'm sure you're busy," averting my eyes, I look toward my neighbor's ugly plant. "I wouldn't mind catching up a bit more."

Nicolas doesn't respond quickly enough. Looking his way, I find his jaw set and his attention on the door of my apartment. He must be thinking what I am.

Unlike the coffeeshop, we won't be around anyone. No loud chatting as a distraction, or any accidental brushes. Just us two in my bare apartment.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He mimics my very thoughts, yet he doesn't budge.

"It's a terrible one," I agree slowly and twist the doorknob. Opening the door, I take one step back. "I think I can say we've done far worse."

His mouth twitches as his hands curl at his sides. Without taking even a proper ten seconds to think about what is being offered here, he takes a step forward. Then another. Matching my movement until we're both inside, he's the one to close the door.

Now I've done it. Nicolas is within my reach and shamefully, sharing a conversation is the last thing on my mind.