Chapter 4

Four

Ridge Brandeis

“ I ’m sorry. Going where?” There’s no fucking way my idiot brother and business partner wants to take a man under our protection to a fucking kink club. No. Fucking. Way.

“Club Sin. You know, the BDSM club taking up the top six floors of the building…” Gable drawls as if he’s not proposing the absolute absurdity of bringing a valuable asset from a lockdown safe house to a sex club of all places.

“I want to go!” Ira says, excitedly. In his shoes, I’d be excited to go on a coffee run, so I get it. I do.

“No,” I say. I place the knife I’ve been using to chop up salad vegetables to the side then push away the cutting board and already prepped veggies. My fists close on the tabletop, white knuckles so tense it’s taking everything in me to remain seated and not jump up to strangle my brother.

Jump up. Ha. As if I’m even capable of that these days. And fuck if that’s not the problem in a whole-ass nutshell. There’s not a damn part of me capable of jumping anywhere ever since that car pinned me to a wall and shattered my pelvis. Even my dick doesn’t seem capable of jumping to attention when it’s supposed to anymore.

Not that I give it much reason to. What’s the sense in having functional junk when there’s no one for it to work for. That’s not some pity party bullshit, either. No one was willing to tolerate the hours I put in when I was on the force and whole. Now, I’m scarred up and move like an old man. Besides the looks and busted up body, my dick only works half the time, and rarely when I want it to.

All that to say, do I want to go to a sex club of all places? With my bisexual brother? I’m not knocking it. I’ve known I was attracted to men as well as women for years now myself, and the client I shouldn’t want but somehow do? Fuck, no, I don’t want to go upstairs.

“It’s safe, Ridge. And we’ll be there with him every minute,” Gable promises.

“Wait, what? You’d watch me, um, be with someone there?” Ira stammers. His cheeks are fiery red. Even the tips of his ears are flushed with embarrassment.

“We could just watch. Or we could…” Gable lets his words trail off, his meaning clear.

I watch Ira piece together what my brother is saying. And what he’s not saying.

“Are you guys—” Ira’s eyes look about ready to pop right out of his head.

“No. Fuck. That’d be—” I bark.

“Relax, man. He’s just asking questions. No, Ira. Ridge and I haven’t ever done anything sexual together. And I’m not suggesting we would now.”

“Then what, what are you offering?” Ira asks with an audible gulp. He continues peeling the potato in his hands, as though by rote, but at this point, he’s scraping away nothing but pulp.

“We go. Check out the available rooms. See if any interest you. They’ve each got themes, you know?” Gable explains.

“Just the three of us?” he asks the question I’m wondering, as well.

“We could just do that here,” I interject. I’m not sold on any of this by any stretch. Still, a circle jerk could be accomplished anywhere. No need to risk Ira’s safety by taking him to a sex club. Even a top tier one where exclusivity and security measures likely make it a reasonably safe place to bring him.

“I mean, yeah, we could, but there are girls up there, too. Women who have joined the club and might be up for a night of adventure with us.” Gable’s obviously been planning this for some time. He’s got an answer for every question.

“And you’d just…just watch me with a woman?” Ira asks.

“Sure. Unless…if you maybe…if you were interested in more,” Gable offers.

I know we’re both aware Ira identifies as pansexual, but to my knowledge neither my brother nor I have ever had any discussions with him about our own preferences. Not that I really have preferences anymore.

It would be enough for me just to see Ira happy. To be allowed to keep him safe. He’s grown on me over these weeks and months. More and more, these days, I realize the feelings I have for him aren’t the same as those I’ve had for the other clients for whom we’ve provided around the clock protection. Not even close.

Ira brings out something inside me. Something deep and protective, but also nurturing and fond. I want to see him happy. I want to cherish him. And if there’s a greedy, selfish, impulse inside me to mark him as my own and see how much his body can take before he shatters and begs, well, that part I’m certain I can keep locked away.

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, I definitely want to go. Ridge, please?” Ira turns pleading eyes to me, and I know I’m going to cave. Gable’s given up so much to stand beside me. And I want to give Ira the world, as long as it’s safe.

“Then it’s settled, gentleman. After dinner, we go upstairs.” Gable grins and dusts his hands together as though the effort of convincing us has been a monumental task.

“Fine, but we make a plan, first. Obviously you’ve done the legwork to make sure the club is safe. But you need to clue me in, too.” I’m not asking. I trust my brother with everything, but I still want to know the details for myself.

“File’s in the den on the laptop, saved under the file name ‘penthouse’ if you want to go review the details.” He gestures over his shoulder to the room we’ve turned into command central since we got here.

Sure, we have an office space for the business. Once we met Ira face to face, it was automatic for us to default to personally providing as much of his protection details as possible. We’ve got amazing operatives on staff, but there’s no way we would fully entrust Ira to anyone else. I think, even if it’s gone unspoken, we both know how the other feels about him.

I guess tonight is a trial run to see if he feels the same about either of us. And make no mistake; I’ll be happy if he and Gable are the ones who connect. Even if it makes me a third wheel, I know my brother will accept my need to continue keeping Ira safe, long after this current danger is over. Even if they become intimate, there’s no way my brother will cut me out. And that’s fine.

Just fine, I remind myself as I switch places with him and leave him chopping vegetables, so I can go review the file he’s compiled. I’ll be just fine watching the two of them fall in love. So long as I can be on the fringes of their love, it’ll be enough.

And with that, I lie to myself for the first time since I woke up in that hospital bed with my guts crushed halfway to the moon and back.