Chapter 39

Thirty-Nine

Regan

I made up my mind the next night when I heard a bike pulling back up to the house and saw Rook stalking up to the front door.

I couldn't be mad at Rook without knowing if he was being honest or not, and sitting in my room pissed wasn't going to help anything. If he really did love me, he would answer more of my questions.

Rook glanced up, seeing me in the window, but he didn't wave or acknowledge me further, and that only fueled my determination more.

I threw my door open, stomping to the railing that looked over the entry just as Rook made it inside.

"So you're allowed to keep leaving, but I'm not?" I yelled, making him look up at me. I could see the dark circles around his eyes again, and noticed the way his shoulders slumped. I wondered if he had slept at all the past two nights or just watched over me. "I thought someone was trying to kill you, too."

Yeah, I can because, first, you don't care if I'm dead. It might actually make you happier. And second, I'm trying like hell to figure out what I can do to make you less pissed off at me, and the only thing I can think of is these damn cookies."

"I literally killed someone because they were going to kill you," I said, the words leaving a bad taste in my mouth. "How could you say I want you dead now?"

Evie stepped out of the dining room, Mason right behind her.

"Are you serious? And you left that out of conversation, Rook? What the hell?" she asked, looking up at me. "There's absolutely no way you're not my best friend now." She glared back at Rook. "If you can get over him being an ass for a while."

"I'm trying to not be an ass," he said. "Hence, the cookies."

I didn't know if it was the way I had already cried all my tears or that part of me was understanding everything going on around me. I knew my dad did apparently know the type of people that would kill people for money, which that alone felt shocking. I knew Rook thought he was behind killing his parents, and I knew my dad had been keeping secrets from me.

I just hadn't realized what type of secrets. Or how many of them.

I also knew that someone could do those types of terrible things and still be a good person.

"Are you bringing those cookies up to me or do they have to be slid under my door so it really feels like a prison here?"

He grinned as he started up the stairs two at a time, the devastating smile on his face there because I was giving him a sliver of a chance. I wanted to give him a chance. I wanted to go back to how everything was going before he told me every terrible thing he had hidden.

The smile fell a little when he made it up the steps, his eyes going heavy with exhaustion as he handed me the box.

"When did you sleep last?" I asked, realizing just how much I cared about him. It didn't matter what had been going on around us, I still cared.

"What day is it?"

I rolled my eyes, already walking back towards the room. "Will you sleep if I let you in the room?"

"Depends," he said. "Do I have to worry about you sneaking out? Or will you be there the entire time?"

"If you sleep, I'll stay," I said, already grabbing my tablet and heading to my chair in the corner of the room.

"Regan, wait," he said, reaching out and pulling me back. His hands cupped my jaw, the soft touch a harsh contrast to the angry furrow of his brow. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for telling me all these terrible things, or sorry for your kidnapping attempts?"

He gave a forced grin, but still didn't look happy. "Sorry that both of those things hurt you. You said you always wanted the truth and I'm trying to give it to you. And the kidnapping thing is because I want you safe. I mean, it's no heartache for me, exactly, to have you around all the time, but I really don't want anything to happen to you."

"It still isn't your job to protect me."

His chest heaved, his nostrils flaring as his hands tightened on my face. "It is when you're mine. It is when I won't let you get killed in front of me. I will do anything to keep you safe, including this."

Frustration bubbled up in my throat. I wanted everything to make sense. The agonizing feeling that I was so close to putting it all together, but not quite there yet was making me lose my mind. "But why do you think you have to?" I asked.

Like I said the wrong thing, his hands dropped from me and he stepped back.

"Because I love you, Regan. I didn't think it would be possible, but I love you."

"With everything you have said to me, now you think I'm supposed to trust you because you say you love me?" I asked, my heart racing at the clear-cut words. He had said he had fallen in love with me the other day, but after his confession, I didn't think it was the truth. "I don't think you lie to people you love."

"I told you I was taking everything from you. I just couldn't tell you how."

"That doesn't count as telling me the truth. You also said you had a lot to give me in exchange. Where is all that stuff?"

He grabbed me, ripping me closer as he forced my hands onto his chest. "I am giving you more. I am giving you me . Every fucking part of me. Is that not enough for you?"

"In exchange for taking everything from me? For locking me up? Would you be okay if the tables were turned?"

His lip curled. "This is temporary. A moment of our lives while I build a better life for us. A safer one. I can't have a price on your head, and I won't let you walk around waiting for a bullet. Once I kill the man who did it, you are free again."

"You can't walk around thinking you're my protector. I didn't ask you to be. You think you need to protect everyone you care about to the point you are locking me in my room?"

"And you can't give up who you are to do everything you're fucking told," he said, nearly yelling. "But you do."

"I haven't!" I yelled, pulling away. "I have stood up for myself. I learned and I am trying to do better now. What about you? Are you trying to not keep everyone locked up and call it safe?"

He turned back to me, rage coating his face as he stomped towards me. "I will not lose anyone else I care about, and I sure as fuck won't lose them to Cameron again. I don't know what I would do if I lost you now, Regan."

Every part of me was at odds with loving Rook, and not wanting to believe my dad would really do these things.

My shoulders fell, the angry edge to my voice gone now as I gave up. I was too tired to keep fighting him, to keep running around in this circle of being mad and then hurt, and then back to loving him. I knew he was angry, and he should be for what happened to him. He just didn't need to be angry at my dad.

"Why are you so sweet as you are locking me up like a prisoner?" I huffed, sitting back in my chair with a hard breath.

He grinned, falling back on the bed. "I have to be a little charming to get away with the things I do."

I rolled my eyes, pulling my tablet up and sitting back. He watched me for a while until I looked over, smiling when I noticed he had passed out.

I stayed silent, working for another two hours on my drawing until he rolled over, his eyes flickering open.

"What time is it?" he asked.

I glanced at my phone. "A little past eleven."

"Why are you still up?"

"I'm drawing," I said, not hiding the snip in my tone.

"Drawing what?" he asked. He always asked.

He always complimented each one and acted like I was a real artist. I glanced up at the painting that hung above his head now, my heart aching a little.

"You," I finally said. "All your tattoos are interesting. I'm trying to replicate them on a portrait of you, but it's harder than I thought."

"Show me." His voice was still deep and gravelly from sleep, making me want to crawl right into bed next to him.

I padded over, flipping the tablet around to face him. He was quiet as he looked it over. It always made me feel like he was really looking at it and was interested.

He finally smiled. "You really are talented, Rebel. You're going to have to start drawing us up tattoos we want. They would be amazing."

"I can't do that."

"You can, and should. But for now, come on. Get into bed. I want more sleep."

"I'll stay in my chair for the night," I said. I really didn't trust myself sleeping next to him and not making a move for more.

As if he read my mind, he grinned. "Worried you won't be able to keep your hands off of me?"

"No. I'm just wondering why you can't go sleep in another room."

"Safety and all that," he mumbled. "Come on. I won't bite you this time, promise."

He lifted the blankets, and I slid in next to him. His arm snaked around me, but I pushed away, leaving plenty of space between us.

It barely took a full minute before Rook moved across the bed and wrapped an arm around me.

"What are you doing?"

"I said I won't bite, not that I wouldn't touch you at all."

"Rook," I warned.

"Rebel," he said, pushing harder against me. "You can crawl yourself to the other side of the bed if you need space."

"Or you can be the one to crawl over to your side," I said, not moving.

"How cute that we already have sides of the bed, but I'm not going anywhere." I wiggled back more, and his arm tightened around me. "You know, everything I have to do isn't going to be great or easy. I don't want you upset with me all the time, but I have things that have to be done."

"I understand that, but killing my family can't be on your to-do list."

"It's been on my to-do list long before you showed up."

"If you are going to try and say you love me, you can try to not kill him, no matter what your plans were before. Haven't they all changed now?"

"Yes, they have."

"Then that can change, too."

He groaned. "That plan is ten years in the making, Regan. I can't sit around and not do anything. He took everything from me, everything from us, and he deserves to have some sort of consequence for what he's done."

"Tell me you won't kill him and I will stay right here," I said. "I will spend the night here and plenty more after that."

He laughed, his grip tightening again. "You spend every night next to me forever and I might not kill him."

"I spend every night next to you and you guarantee me you won't kill him," I said, negotiating more.

"How about I agree not to kill him without permission?"

"Fine," I said fast. At least that would buy me more time to find proof.

He lifted up and leaned over me, his lips finding mine in the dark. "Welcome to forever, then, Rebel, because I don't think there is anything I wouldn't do to keep you as mine."