Seventeen

Chapter

“ The prism is here .” Rom thought the words directly to Hayley. She wasn’t sure why.

“ We should let Dean know so he doesn’t attack them, ” Hayley thought.

“ I will, but you should know that Sophie is with them .”

It took a moment for Hayley to process what he was communicating. Then her stomach bottomed out with panic. As hard as it had been to talk to Dean about being a clone, it would be a thousand times worse with Sophie. A million.

“ What? ” Fear laced Hayley’s unspoken reply. “ How did she know I was with you? ”

“ That’s not why she’s here. She’s Lar’s soulmate. He’s another Cygnian in my prism. Amy and Becca have bonded with two of the others. ”

Hayley looked at Rom and just sort of blinked as her brain tried to make sense of what he was saying. The most unbelievable part wasn’t that they had all bonded with Cygnian soulmates. It was that Becca had bonded with anyone at all. Her notoriously high standards had been a constant source of teasing among her sisters. Becca had never found anyone worthy of bringing into their family, who she placed above everyone.

“ Becca? ” Hayley repeated.

“ She bonded with the crown prince .”

“ The crown prince of your entire people? ” Hayley asked.

“ Yes .”

“ Okay… I guess that tracks .” Finally, someone who met her standards. “ Is Sophie going to be running through that big open door any second? ”

“ I don’t know, ” Rom thought. “ She might be staying on the ship to protect those who are expecting. ”

“ Expecting what? ”

A wave of warmth flowed to her through their bond. Warmth and longing and affection and so much more. It only took a moment of that for her to realize what he meant.

“ Oh… ” Excitement edged out Hayley’s fear. “ Is Sophie…? ”

“ Not yet, but she and Lar are working on it. ”

Hayley snorted. “ I don’t doubt it. What about Becca and Amy? ”

“ Becca and Kral aren’t pregnant yet, but Amy and Dorn are .”

“Amy?” she squealed, the sound making her realize she’d spoken out loud. She couldn’t help herself, though. Amy was like a sister to her—a baby sister. The idea of her having a child of her own was more than she could contain. The joy bubbling up in Hayley suddenly clouded as she remembered that Amy wasn’t like a little sister to her. That relationship was with the original Hayley.

“What the fuck was that about?” Katie said blearily. “High-pitched noises hurt my head.”

“We’ll get you checked out here in a minute.” Rom looked to Dean and said, “Head’s up—a group of Cygnian warriors are about to charge through that door. I’d take it as a show of good faith if you didn’t attack them.”

“I won’t.” Dean stood, but kept one hand on Mindy’s ruff.

“They might not extend you the same favor,” Hayley said.

“I know.” Dean backed farther from the door. Mindy went with him.

As Rom had said, a moment later, a trio of blue giants pounded through the door. They paused with their feet braced, arms up and ready to attack. When no one made a move, they lowered their arms, glancing around in confusion. One had pale white hair that flowed around his shoulders. His skin was a lighter shade of blue as well and his eyes gleamed a beautiful emerald-green. Another was a deep cobalt blue, his dark blue hair hanging down his back in intricate braids and his eyes bright yellow.

The Cygnian in front… Hayley was certain without a doubt that he was Kral. His skin was sapphire blue, his hair a shade darker. He had a beard that matched his wild mane of hair and his eyes glowed orange like twin burning suns. They were all giants—at least seven feet tall, like Rom, but this one was thick with muscle. She’d never seen such an enormous man in her life. He exuded command as he surveyed the room, his eyes skimming over her and locking on Dean.

“Rom,” Kral said. “How concerned should I be that the most dangerous mercenary in the known galaxy is standing behind you… petting a dog?”

“Only mildly,” Rom said.

The white-haired Cygnian snorted. “I’m more concerned for the criminal. When Queenie finds out he has another animal companion, she’s going to kill him herself.”

“ Queenie? ” Hayley thought to Rom.

“ She’s a super-intelligent Earth kitten born on a spacecraft ,” Rom replied. “ It’s… a long story. Just know that she’s remarkably intimidating .”

“ A kitten? ”

“ You’ll see when you meet her. She lives with Dorn and Amy. That’s Dorn with the green eyes. The one with the yellow is Lar. Kral is— ”

“ The one with orange eyes. I figured that much out .”

Rom sent a wave of approval through their bond. It was all the time they had to communicate before the others spoke again.

“Queenie knows no one could ever take her place in my heart,” Dean said, calmly.

“Funny,” Lar began, “I didn’t know you had one.”

Dean smirked and added, “Only when necessary.”

“Enough banter,” Kral said. “Rom, are you well?”

“I am.” Rom tried to step forward, but Katie was still swaying in his arms.

“Let me,” Dean said. The moment he moved, the other Cygnians dropped right back into their crouches, arms raised and fierce expressions on their faces.

“It’s okay,” Rom said. He lifted Katie and carried her to Dean. The Scorpiian let him tuck her against his side, holding her up against him. She nestled in and her eyes drifted shut.

Kral, Lar, and Dorn straightened, casting wary glances to each other. Now that Rom was unburdened, he was able to approach. As soon as he was in arm’s reach, the other men grasped him and pulled him into an embrace. Hayley could feel their tension fading. She could feel… them. All of them. Mostly, she felt Rom’s relief, but there were clear echoes of the emotion coming from each of the other Cygnians. It was so strange.

“The soulmate bond allows us to feel each other’s emotions,” Rom said, turning back to her with one arm still over Kral’s shoulder. The prince had his arm wrapped around Rom’s waist. “And the prism bond lets us feel each other as well, to a lesser degree. As my soulmate, you are connected to them also.”

“You found your soulmate?” Lar said. He turned to Hayley, beaming.

“I did.” The pride flowing from Rom brought tears to Hayley’s eyes. No matter what else happened, she would hold on to that feeling. His acceptance and belonging and love. She was glad to have that anchor for what came next.

“This is Hayley,” he said.

All three Cygnian’s gasped, their eyes widening. She would have felt their joy even without any sort of bond. It only took her a moment to realize that it was misplaced. Rom’s smile faded as he sensed her panic.

“You found Hayley,” Lar said, his voice filled with wonder.

“Wait, it’s not—” Before Rom could finish his statement, the command kiosks on the bridge exploded.

Mindy yelped, ducking behind Dean. The Scorpiian wheeled around, tucking Katie in close and pulling Mindy closer as he transformed into a huge beast with a thick hide. Sparks showered around him, skittering harmlessly to the ground. Rom leapt across the room in one giant stride, landing next to Hayley and pulling her close. He wrapped himself around her, shielding him from the electricity raining around them.

“What is with everything blowing up?” Hayley shouted.

“Scorpiian,” Rom yelled as Dean glowed silver and returned to his usual form.

“It isn’t him.” Was that Lar who had spoken?

Hayley peered out from beneath Rom’s protective embrace and saw Lar stepping forward, lightning arcing from the kiosks to his outstretched arms. His spine plates were standing up straight, electricity lighting them up from within.

“ Holy crap ,” Hayley thought. “ Can your spine plates do that? ”

“ No. Lar and Sophie were altered by our Maker goddess .”

“ Sophie? ” Dread pitted Hayley’s stomach. “ Altered how? Is she okay? ”

“ She’s more than okay, ” Rom replied. “ But she’s also more than she was before .”

Hayley didn’t get a chance to ask for more information. She didn’t need to. The lighting swirling in front of Lar coalesced into a silhouette of a woman. The light drew together, becoming more solid, so bright, Hayley squinted her eyes against it, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away. In a final burst, the light faded, leaving Sophie standing in Lar’s arms.

“Love, how did you do that?” Lar’s eyes were wide with wonder.

Sophie pushed him away. She turned around, surveying the room with wide eyes. The kiosks crackled and sputtered, their contours no more than blackened husks. She saw the flash of Katie’s red hair and took a step forward, then paused, scanning the room again until her eyes locked with Hayley’s.

“Hayley?” Her voice wavered. “Hayley, is that you?”

Hayley’s heart beat hard and fast. Her throat was too tight to form words. She shook her head instead.

Sophie took another step forward. Sophie, who had snuck into Hayley’s room when she was staying with the Myers family after Hayley’s mom had died, crawling into bed with her to comfort her when they were both children. Sophie, who had excitedly told Hayley about her first kiss. Sophie, who had been there for Hayley for almost as long as she could remember.

Remembrance of memories that weren’t hers.

“Hayley!” Sophie smiled, tears streaming down her cheeks as she rushed forward.

Rom blocked her way.

The scent of ozone flooded Hayley’s senses. She heard crackling behind Sophie’s back and could see the crest of a spine plate made of pure energy. Holy shit! What had happened to her?

“Cygnian, you have one second to move before I move you,” Sophie said.

A chill swept down Hayley’s back. She hadn’t known her friend could sound so intimidating. More than her form must have changed since Hayley was taken.

“He’s trying to protect you,” Hayley said, finally finding her voice.

“From what?” Sophie craned her neck, trying to get a better look at Hayley. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What did Norem do to you?”

Hayley pinched her lips together in a straight line, trying not to cry. She wanted to run to Sophie more than anything. To throw her arms around her friend and hold on tight, the way Rom had done with his fellow Cygnian warriors.

A similar reunion wasn’t meant for her. It was for the original Hayley. The Hayley they had yet to find.

As if it wasn’t enough to be facing down Sophie, Amy and Becca came tearing into the room. Dorn stepped forward, one arm outstretched to block Amy from view partially.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said. “It isn’t safe.”

“It isn’t safe for you to be standing between me and my sisters,” Amy warned. Another pang swept through Hayley at being included as a sister. Dorn actually dropped his arm and stepped back.

“Wait,” Becca said, grabbing Amy’s arm. “Something’s wrong.”

Leave it to Becca to assess a situation in seconds and have a better idea of what was going on than anyone else in the room. Hayley stepped out from under Rom’s arm, felt his warmth and encouragement at her back. Drawing on his strength, she found her own. Found just enough to speak.

“Hayley?” Becca whispered.

“No.” Hayley shook her head. “I’m not.”

“But…” Sophie kept staring at her. “No. You are. I mean… You’re her. Look at her.” She gestured toward Hayley, then looked back at her sisters.

“There is a lot going on in the universe,” Becca said. “We’re learning new things every day, like that little trick you used to get yourself here so fast.”

Sophie looked at the destroyed kiosks. “I don’t know how I did that. I just… I had to get to her.” She turned back to Hayley. “Rom said you were here and you were so close that I just had to get to you. Hayley, tell me it’s you.”

“I wish I could.” Tears flowed down Hayley’s cheeks. She swiped them away. Rom stepped closer, his hands resting on her shoulders and his reassuring chest at her back. “But I’m not her. I wish I was. But I’m not.”

“She’s her own person,” Rom said, his voice daring anyone to disagree. “Just because she’s not the Hayley you know doesn’t mean she’s not still herself. She’s still… her own Hayley.”

“ I’m sorry I’m not better at making sense of this ,” Rom thought to her. “ I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Just know that I love you and I’m here for you. I hope that’s enough. ”

Hayley reached up and clasped one of his hands. “ It is. I love you, too .”

“I don’t understand,” Sophie said.

“Oh no.” Becca’s eyes widened briefly, then narrowed again. Her jaw set in that way she had that let Hayley know Becca meant business.

Amy saw it and stiffened, glancing warily between Hayley and Sophie. Becca stepped forward and reached toward Sophie’s shoulder, but then thought better of it and pulled her hand away. She looked at Lar, who quickly moved in and took her place, wrapping one arm around Sophie’s still-crackling back. Becca returned her attention to Hayley.

“I don’t know what to say,” Becca said. “You know what you are, so you know what Norem did.”

“She knows who she is,” Rom corrected sharply.

“I’m sorry for that,” Becca kept addressing Hayley. “He’s right. You know… who you are. But I don’t. I honestly… I don’t know how to deal with this.”

Hayley let out a mirthless laugh. “Neither do I.”

“I’m about to deal with it by electrocuting everyone in the room,” Sophie said. “Except Amy and the dog. And only not Amy because she’s carrying my nephew in there.”

“Think, Sophie,” Becca said. “We just defeated the Norem on Centaurus-10. But he wasn’t the only Norem.”

“Right, he was a clone—” Sophie’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Wait. No. No!” She shook her head, backing away. Hayley felt each step like a blow.

“I’m so sorry,” Hayley said. “I wish I was her. You have no idea how much I wish I was really her.”

“You’re you.” Rom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “That’s more than enough.”

Hayley shut her eyes, not wanting to see the grief on the others’ faces. On faces she still looked on with sisterly love, even if it didn’t belong to her. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she felt like a thief, as if she had stolen something from the original Hayley.

“I would give it back.” Hayley dug into her pocket and pulled out the charm bracelet. Stepping forward, away from Rom’s embrace, she said, “The memories. The… Everything. I would give it all back, if I could.”

Keeping her eyes on the ground, she held the bracelet up for one of them to take. For anyone to take. She didn’t want it anymore. The pain of memories that weren’t hers, of a future, of a life that she wouldn’t have. She knew she’d make a different one with Rom. She knew she would find happiness. But having another woman’s memories, dreams, her very identity stamped on her braincells, was more than she could take in that moment. Here was a family, people she felt she had a history with, who she felt she belonged with, but it was a lie. It would always be a lie.

“I would trade places with her in a heartbeat to have her here with you instead of it being me,” Hayley said.

“Are there others?” Becca asked. “Others… like you?”

“Not according to Norem’s records,” Hayley said. “None that survived.”

Becca hissed in a breath, her jaw clenched tight. She put her hands on her hips and stared up at the ceiling. Hayley was certain she was counting to ten to cool off. Maybe twenty.

“He gave you her memories,” Becca finally said.

Hayley nodded.

“Did he tell you?” Sophie asked.

“Tell me what?” Hayley still kept her eyes averted, unable to see her best friend looking at her as if she was a stranger.

“Did he tell you … you’re a clone?” Sophie said. “Or did he let you believe you were her?”

Hayley let out a harsh breath. “It’s Norem. What do you think?”

Sophie stepped forward, her palm beneath Hayley’s. She grasped the charm bracelet, her matching one clinking from the movement. Both of them stared at it for a long moment before Hayley finally forced herself to let go.

As the charm bracelet hit Sophie’s palm, she reached out and clasped Hayley’s hand. The contact was too much. Fresh tears streamed down Hayley’s face.

“Look at me,” Sophie said. “Please.”

Hayley shook her head, gathering her strength. She looked up, locking her gaze with Sophie’s. Everything she feared was there. The pain, the fear for her friend—for her real friend—and worst of all, the longing. Sophie stared into Hayley’s eyes intensely, searching for her best friend. No matter what she saw there, Hayley would never be the person she was looking for. That Hayley was someone else.

Sophie’s grip tightened. “In second grade, you broke mom’s favorite figurine. The one of the little clown.”

“We all know you did that, Sophie,” Amy said. “Dad said you hated that thing.”

“She didn’t break it,” Hayley said quickly.

“You were so scared that my parents would stop letting us play together,” Sophie said. “But you still broke it for me. Why?”

Hayley shook her head, trying not to think about the other woman’s memories. It almost seemed to be an invasion of privacy at this point, especially about something so important to her.

“Tell me,” Sophie said.

“I can’t,” Hayley said.

“Because you don’t remember?” Sophie questioned matter-of-factly. She almost seemed to be taunting Hayley, baiting her. Sophie had always known how to push Hayley’s buttons.

“Because you swore me to secrecy.” Hayley shook her head. “Swore her to secrecy.”

“I release you from your promise,” Sophie said.

“You can’t do that because I’m not her,” Hayley shouted. “I won’t make choices for her when she’s not here.”

“Mom knew the truth,” Becca said. “She knew about the nightmares.”

“She what?” Sophie and Hayley both turned to Becca, speaking at the same time and with the same inflection. Hayley frowned, but she didn’t miss the way Sophie’s mouth turned up at one corner.

“She knew that you were having nightmares,” Becca said. “And she knew that’s why Hayley broke the figurine for you.”

“She knew that?” Sophie said. “Why didn’t she say anything?”

“Because she also knew how much it meant to you both to have a friend like that,” Becca said. “Someone who’s ride or die. She didn’t want to get in the middle of it. She wanted you to have each other. What none of us understood was why that clown figure scared you so badly.”

“It was because we snuck off and rode our bikes to that festival I wanted to go to so much,” Sophie said. “Hayley found out my plan and insisted on coming with me. When we got there, I ended up getting spooked by one of the clowns, and I twisted my ankle. We hid my bike, and Hayley peddled me back on hers. And then we went back for it a couple weeks later when my ankle was better.”

“Mom and Dad would have killed you,” Amy said, a gleeful hint to her voice that made Hayley wonder if she was going to rat out her sister, even years later.

“That’s how you sprained your ankle?” Becca said. “You made up some shit about some guy named Stevie Renard pushing you down and stealing your bike.”

“Johnny,” Hayley corrected. Both women looked at her. “It was Johnny Renard.”

Becca smirked. “Yeah, it was.”

“Who stole her bike,” Hayley said quickly.

“You’re still sticking to the story after all this time,” Becca said.

Hayley pinched her mouth shut. Her heart was aching from the exchange. She didn’t want to relive memories that didn’t belong to her. Especially with the people involved. People that she still loved as if all those things really had happened to her.

Sophie stepped closer, squaring herself off in front of Hayley. Rom’s presence was a reassuring warmth at her back.

“You asked what I think,” Sophie said. “What do I think about Norem? I think we’re going to find him. And we’re going to make him pay for every movie night we missed. We’re going to kick his ass so hard, every single one of him is going to feel it. And then we’re going to bring you home.”

Hayley felt more tears flow down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure what Sophie meant, didn’t let herself hope, until Sophie pulled her forward and wrapped her arms around her in a crushing embrace.

“We’re going to bring both of you home,” Sophie whispered.