Chapter 41: Dean

41

DEAN

“C an’t we start again? Like normal mates, meeting for the first time on a pack run.” Jamie’s voice wobbles as she chases after me. “I’m not a rogue, you’re not an alpha. We’re just us.”

Why is she making this harder?

Rounding on her, I throw my hands up in the air. I’d love nothing more than if this was our first meeting, and we weren't both too broken to just accept our mating and live happily ever after.

“No, we can’t just start over. Actions have consequences.” Doesn’t she understand that this is just as hard for me?

It never even really began. Our wolves knew we’d reject each other without giving us a fighting chance. By staying quiet, they gave us the opportunity to spend some time together.

But we still messed it up.

I’m angry at her, but I’m also furious at myself for getting so attached to someone I knew was trouble.

“Then don’t end it,” she says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

But maybe it is to her. She’s found her mother and somewhere to live. Things are looking up for Jamie, where my life has turned into one giant headache.

I’ve got my own alpha watching my every move, a territory full of strange wolves, a competition that’s already bordering on disaster after the first event, two wolves locked up below my packhouse that need to be dealt with, one of who’s mate was parked in my office all day, begging for his release.

That’s even before we get to the fated mate who thinks I might kill her. And my own fears that she could be right.

I’m already getting shit from the elders for dancing with the rogue, warning me not to put the pack through any more turmoil. Little do they know it’s not just an attraction I have, this is the real deal.

Which makes her even harder to resist.

Fuck. I know touching her is a bad idea, but I can’t stop myself running a finger along the side of her neck where my mark would go.

My wolf can’t take his eyes off the spot. He’s obsessed, and I feel his resolve slipping the longer I breathe in her alluring scent. I feel the tingles in my fingertips, and that warm fuzzy feeling from just being near her.

I long to pull her close and comfort her. To tell her she’s mine and that everything is going to be okay.

“Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll accept your rejection right now,” she demands quietly.

I stay stubbornly silent. I won’t lie to her. She knows how much I want her; the evidence is right here between us. I can’t move forward but I can’t let her go either.

“You’re annoyed, I get it. But we’re mates. We can work through it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

My gentle caress of her neck turns into something more possessive when I rest my hand at the base of her throat, wrapping my fingers around her neck. Her pulse flutters, but she stays strong, staring up at me.

“I’m not afraid of you. I was upset and lashing out, but I know you’d never hurt me.”

I tighten my grip and pull her to me, our faces mere inches apart, as I glare at her. “You don’t know that. Even I don’t know that.”

In the distance, I hear the footsteps and howls of the running wolves, soaking up the moon’s rays and enjoying the crisp, night air. I need to get back to them. I’ve been distracted enough lately as it is.

“Tell me you don’t want me,” she repeats, and I growl, because I can’t force the words out.

She eases closer, pushing against my hand, daring me to take this further.

My cock brushes against her bare stomach, and the need for her crashes into me, so forceful, my vision tunnels for a second as her arousal scents the air.

“You know I can’t. My wolf wants to tackle you to the ground, to spread your thighs, to fuck you so hard into the dirt my pack can hear your screams. See if you really can handle my darker side.”

Jamie’s pupils dilate right before my eyes, and I watch as her perfect, dusky nipples pebble. She likes the idea. She loves the thought of my wolf showing her who’s boss.

“Do it. Teach me a lesson I won’t forget, Alpha. Let your entire pack hear you making me yours.”

Fuck. Fuck.

Using my grip on her throat to yank her forward, pulling her off balance, I slam my lips onto hers. This isn’t tender. It’s not loving or gentle. The kiss is punishing, and I don’t wait for her to open her lips and invite my tongue inside, I claim her mouth, like it already belongs to me.

“I can’t fuck my luna in the mud,” I growl into her mouth, biting her bottom lip harder than necessary.

Instead of yelping, she moans, and the scent of her arousal deepens, sending my wolf wild. “Why not? Are you the boss or not?”

Damn it. That obstinate attitude makes him practically feral with the need to put her in her place. With my other hand, I cup her sex and stroke a finger through her wet folds. Her scent deepens and I suck it in, groaning at the rush I get from just touching her.

Jamie’s knees buckle, and only my hand around her neck keeps her upright.

“You’re not my luna. We’re not mated.”

Roughly, I press a finger then two inside her, pumping them in and out through her slick, curling them to hit just the right spot inside.

I walk her backward until her back hits a tree and loom over her, watching like a man possessed at every change in expression, listening to every tiny whimper and moan that passes her red, swollen lips.

“This means nothing,” I hiss against her silky-smooth skin as I kiss and lick up the column of her neck, nibbling that sensitive spot behind her ear.

She bucks into me, where the heel of my hand grinds against her clit.

“Dean,” she cries, her hands gripping my back, her nails scoring my skin, marking me in the absence of any other way to brand me as hers.

My name coming from her mouth as she writhes in pleasure does something to me, and I feel like I won’t survive if I don’t hear her calling it as she comes.

“Say it. Say my name as you come.”

Jamie rocks into my hand, lost to her impending release, every muscle in her stomach tight, as her orgasm builds.

“Dean. Yes. Yes!” Her walls clamp around my fingers, sucking me in, until she breaks with a wail. Her tight channel pulses around me, and I curse, wishing I knew what it felt like to be buried inside her when wave after wave of ecstasy washes over her.

“I’m yours,” she whispers. “Whether you want me or not, I’ll always be yours.”

Nuzzling her neck while simultaneously pounding the tree over her head with disgust at my weak will, I’m lost. How can I ever give her up? She feels like an addiction I’ll never be able to get over. One I don't want to get over but need to for the good of everyone around me.

I feel like shit. I don’t know what to say.

Jamie blinks up at me, expression dazed and dreamy.

I must look as guilty as I feel because she reaches up and cups my cheek before pressing a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth.

It would be so easy to turn my head, to take her lips with mine, to kiss her gently like I want to. To drive my aching cock into her and claim her as mine forever. To stretch her around me and come as she screams my name to the stars…

But I can’t.

“Don’t overthink it, Dean. It’s the bond. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

Except deep down, I want it to.

She pushes away from the tree, away from me, and I let her. Her thighs glisten with her arousal, and my fingers are coated in her delicious honey. She grabs my hand with both of her and lifts it, slowly sucking her juices off one finger, swirling her tongue around before releasing it with a loud pop.

She pushes my hand to my face and encourages me to lick off the rest.

“Go. Do your alpha thing.”

My head is a mess as I emerge from the trees near the already burning log fire to greet the wolves coming back from the run.

Without a word, I leave her there to join them, my mind a chaotic jumble of conflicting wants and needs. But my pack needs me to be strong, so I put on a brave face and join the gathering. It seems like they’ve enjoyed running through our expansive land, getting the rare opportunity to stretch their legs somewhere completely new.

The full moon pack run is a core tradition for shifters, where we gather and shift, chasing and playing beneath the moon’s bright rays, cementing the tight family bonds we share. It re-energises us, reinvigorates our animals, and reminds us of what a precious gift it is to have this other side of ourselves.

Our wolves make us who we are, and even when we don’t see eye to eye, we’re two halves of the whole. Until we meet our fated mate. Normally, we’re then united, completely dedicated to cherishing the new part of our soul.

Our mate. Jamie.

As I stand here, my back to the flames, smiling as the youngsters in my pack who can’t yet shift mingle with the giant wolves, my gaze goes to the treeline. Jamie stands there watching me, looking fierce and beautiful as ever, her dark hair cascading around her shoulders in soft waves. The amber light gives it a warm sheen, and her tanned skin glows.

Her full lips are still red and swollen from our kiss. I can still taste her on my lips.

My gaze falls on Joel, sitting on a thick tree trunk, turned on its side to make a bench. He stares adoringly into the eyes of his fated mate. Despite his actions, my pack congratulates them, knowing that when in the throes of finding your true mate, it tends to be your wolf, and your hormones running the show, rather than your brain.

Like even now, I’m convinced I can scent her heightened arousal, just from watching me. Not fear.

I want to drag her home to my cabin and stake my claim before one of these other alpha’s realises what I know—that she’s special. One in a million. And she’s supposed to be mine.

As I stare longingly at her, a small group of new arrivals comes to stand by my side, following my gaze to the edge of the forest, where my mate stands.

I bite back a growl. It’s not their fault she’s gorgeous and clearly proving a point. She’s showing me exactly what I’m turning down to make me jealous.

And it’s working.

“Wow. Who’s that?” one of the new wolves asks, standing at my side and staring at my mate.

The muscles in my arms tremble as I fight every primitive desire inside me. Her nakedness isn’t an issue, wolves are used to nudity, but her neck is bare, no mark to show any male that she’s spoken for.

That’s what’s causing a dark, ugly feeling to bubble up inside me. My wolf is possessive. He wants her to wear our brand, so everyone knows exactly who she belongs to, so they know to avert their eyes if they want to keep them.

“A rogue. Don’t waste your time,” someone mutters. “Your dad would kill you if he thought you were chasing that tail instead of saving your charm for one of the alpha females.”

The crackling fire smothers the quiet growl rumbling in my chest. Jamie is an alpha female. Her mother was the luna of this pack. They’re too stupid to recognise it, just like I was.

“She’s out of your league,” I say with a vicious glare in his direction. “Why don’t you focus on the competition instead?”

The wolf laughs and rubs his hands together. I saw him arrive earlier with his brother, the current alpha of the Silver Moon pack. Timothy’s the second son in the family, equally formidable, but just slightly lower in the pecking order. He’s a powerful wolf from a powerful pack, and he knows it.

“Oh, I am. Because when I win this pack, I bet she’ll be begging me to give it to her.” He turns to his friends with a sleazy grin, and I know the next words out of his mouth are going to make me want to break all of his teeth. “But a rogue? She’ll be desperate for whatever scraps of attention a wolf like me throws at her. And she is stunning. It’s a shame really, because I could never make her luna.”

I was right. I’d love nothing more than to smash his face in and watch him spit his teeth into the dirt. With these wolves from high-ranking families, I didn’t think it needed to be said that they should be behaving like they’re alphas already.

But clearly, his parents didn’t bother teaching the spare standing in front of me proper manners.

“I think it would be wise to remember who you’re speaking with, Timothy.”

His eyes widen a fracture as he senses the force of my rage. He thinks I’m speaking as the host of the Alpha Games. He doesn’t realise he’s dealing with something far more dangerous—an overprotective, unmarked mate who hasn’t taken what’s his.

I step in closer, letting each one of them see the wolf shining in my eyes. “This isn’t a locker room, and I’m not one of your buddies, not that your words, or your attitude, would be acceptable then either.”

Callum’s lurking close by, keeping a close eye on me. He knows he’s in the doghouse with me, but he’s a loyal beta. He has my back, even when I’m pissed off with him.

He’s right to be concerned. I’m so furious, I can barely hold my human form. I turn and take a few steps away before anyone sees how my incisors have lengthened, ready to tear into him the second my wolf wrangles control away from me.

“Maybe I should reconsider. She must be good if even this guy is in love with her.”

When Timothy mutters the unsavoury slur to my back, eliciting some childish laughs from his idiot friends. I freeze, my body going rigid.

“Watch your mouth.” Callum snaps, attempting to handle the situation before it escalates. He knows I’m on the edge. “There are little ears listening. And I’m sick of hearing your bullshit.”

“Fine, whatever.” Timothy has the audacity to sigh, as if Callum is bothering him, and if it’s possible, I hate him even more for being a dickhead to my beta than anything else. Callum is nice to everyone and is only trying to stop the young wolf from getting himself killed. And yet, this pup has the nerve to openly disrespect him.

Before I even realise I’m doing it, I spin on the spot, and my arm shoots out and wraps tight around his throat in a tight headlock.

“Shit.” Callum moves his sizable bulk to hide us from view and shoos away some of the kids lingering close by. He doesn’t bother telling me to calm down, because he knows I’m beyond that.

“Not whatever .” I growl in his ear, the partial shift overtaking me, my hands sprouting thick fur and my claws poking through. Descending canines make it hard to speak clearly and from the look on Timothy’s face, I’m sure my features are grotesque. “That rogue is my mate . You even look at her again, if you so much as breathe in her direction, I’ll rip your balls off. And I’ll make it slow and painful.”

Giving his throat a small squeeze to ensure he knows I’m serious, I toss him away.

“Am I understood?”

The eyes of some nearby wolves land on us, shocked to see the big male lying on the ground at my feet, coughing and spluttering, clutching at his bruised throat as he sucks in air.

“Your mate? What the fuck?” One of the other wolves with Timothy looks at my neck, which is missing a mating mark. “But she hasn’t claimed you. How was he supposed to know?”

Gritting my teeth, I fight the urge to inflict pain on him too and will my face back to normal. “No alpha should ever speak so disparagingly about another wolf, rogue or otherwise. Mated or not, every wolf deserves respect.”

Rubbing his neck, the wolf stares at me. He comes from a family of alphas. He’s not used to being manhandled, and won’t take this lying down, but I couldn’t give a damn. I need to make sure he knows where he comes in the pecking order while he’s here, on my land.

Paddy fucking last.

“If being a rogue doesn’t matter, why haven’t you claimed her yet?” Timothy rasps as he crawls to his hands and knees, pushing away the hands that reach down to assist him. “Ashamed of her?”

I don’t have an answer for that. “It’s got nothing to do with that.”

Timothy’s lip curls in a smug sneer.

“Sure, it doesn’t.” His tone is sarcastic as he brushes the red earth from his clothes and glares at me.

Her presence calls to me. Finally caving, my eyes find Jamie’s, expecting to see disgust there for firstly, blowing our secret, and second, putting her in a position now where people will continually question her about why we’re not together if we’re fated mates.

Instead, I see heat. She liked it. Her wolf liked it. That doesn’t mean it was a clever move though.

My pack might have enough respect for me to stay out of it, but not all of these blow-ins.

In fact, knowing she was destined for an alpha but isn’t mated makes her a prize in itself. The winner will no doubt want a strong mate, able to lead the pack and produce powerful cubs. If you were looking for a chosen mate with all the right genetics, who just so happens to look spectacularly hot too, Jamie is your woman.

As Jamie stares right back, unfazed by my temper, I see a glimmer of understanding in her unwavering gaze, and no anger. Why is she so fucking perfect in every way?

Jamie gives me a small nod, and I sense her gratitude that I stuck up for her. It hurts me to think that other than Wyatt, nobody else does. My mate steps back, melting into the shadows, foregoing the festivities for my sake. Without her saying it, I know she’s leaving to make this night easier for me and my pack, because she understands her presence is fuel to the fire raging inside me.

I don’t like feeling out of control, but this is what she does to me. I can’t rule a pack like this, fighting with everyone says a bad word about her. Because there will be plenty that do.

She says she’s not going to give up, that she’ll be there for me whenever I’m ready. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for this.