Chapter Seven

"He did what?" Jason yelled.

"He did nothing is what he did." I yelled back raising my voice, finally letting my emotions out. Jason was the only one that was going to see me upset over my coward of a mate.

"You really think he will do something about it in two weeks?" he asked in a tone that sounded part condescending, part anger, and part drunk.

Between the two of us, a few bottles of bourbon were empty and another one was being opened. As shifters, we can get drunk, it just takes a lot. He poured us both a bit more in our glasses and tossed the empty bottle to the side with the others.

"I don't know what I think, I'm pissed, I'm drunk, and I don't know what to feel." I admitted.

"You should feel pissed." Jason grumbled.

"I'm supposed to be in love, but he just keeps fucking it all up." I slurred and wildly gestured around my head.

"Of course you're in love, Jez." Jason laughed.

"You are giving him time to make it right, you are bothering with him at all, after the shit that you have been through," Jason started ranting.

"I'm giving him time because he is my mate and I'm supposed to." I growled in frustration because a part of me knew he was right.

"No you aren't Jezzy, you're giving him time because you are falling for him, otherwise we would be hundreds of miles away by now, and sober." Jason laughed at the sober bit, but I could tell this was one of those serious drunken euphoria statements that is said lightly but really is true. "Work it out with him Jezzy, because the minute that you don't have your mate, it's like the world has ripped you apart and when you pull yourself back together a large piece is missing forever,"

"So what if I love him?" I said nonchalantly. "It doesn't change the fact that he needs to be housebroken." I made myself laugh.

"Housebroken? You are talking about wolf emasculation!" Jason said half laughing and half disbelief. "Just tell him you want his balls in a jar why don't you."

"It's not that I want his balls, Jason." I said still chuckling. "It's that he treats me like I'm incompetent. He acts like I can't handle what is going on, or like I will break, or like I can't take care of myself, or like I can't live without him but I can Jason, I can live without him!" I was yelling again. "He acts like I will be a mess without him, and yes, I don't want to leave, because I know I'll be heartbroken, but I will survive and he treats me like a diseased person. I am a strong She-wolf Jason, and it seems he feels like he drew the short straw."

"Well, he hasn't got to see the strong you yet, he's seen the broken girl, that's all his pack has seen too, he has to think about them too ya know." Jason said, before thinking about it first obviously.

"So when he fought me and we flew through my bedroom window, that girl seemed pretty weak to me too." I growled taking another large gulp.

"Physical strength is great to have under your belt, don't get me wrong, but he needs an alpha female the same way you need him to be strong for you."

"Who's side are you on anyway?" I asked taking another drink.

"Yours Jez," Jason said leaning back in his chair.

"Sure," I said leaning back myself and dropping it for now, I finished off my glass and poured another drink. By this point I didn't even taste the bourbon, it just felt like liquid and taste was clouded in my brain.

"You guys are gonna be one of those couples." Jason muttered.

"What are you talking about?" I asked trying to keep the venom in my voice to a minimum but it came out slightly hostile.

"You guys are gonna be the hot and hotter couple, you get along great until one of you gets angry and you fight, then you get back together." Jason smirked. "some might call it passion, I call it too much fire."

"What the hell does fire have to do with it?" I growled, to inebriated to understand that he was using a metaphor.

"You'll understand soon enough," Jason chuckled.

"Whatever," I laughed, finishing off my drink again.

"Jez?" I heard my name, from the voice I knew I wanted to hear, but was angry at myself for being pathetic for wanting to hear him.

I looked behind us into Jason's room. We were sitting on Jason's balcony, leaning against the white columns that ran up and down the side of the wall. Stefan stood in the doorway of Jason's room.

"Did you do something about Macie?" I yelled out, I knew he could tell I was drunk by the way my tone was different, and my words slurred a bit.

"Are you drunk?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised and disapproving.

"Yes, Stefan." I said getting up and walking towards him. "I am fucking trashed, because I felt like having a good time. Do you have a problem with me throwing back a few with a friend? Do you want to order me around like your personal lapdog? Or would you rather dodge a bullet and leave?" I said in the most angry, sarcastic tone I could come up with, because at the moment I just didn't care.

"You act so childish." He said angrily.

"I act childish?" I yelled.

"Yes, because you think only of yourself and what you want to happen!" he whisper yelled as he stepped into the room and shut the door.

"I'm gonna shut these doors too." Jason muttered and shut the doors to the balcony, leaving us alone in the room.

"I want to save Macie, and I'm the one who is selfish, you won't lift a damn finger and I'm selfish?" I yelled some more.

"You don't even realize what you are asking of me!" Stefan whispered again.

"You won't tell me anything!" I growled advancing on him.

"I shouldn't have to, you should trust me." He growled.

"Trust is earned." I growled back

"I am your alpha, I answer to no one." He seethed, towering over me exerting significant amounts of power and testosterone.

"Well excuse me, but where I come from, females don't submit to be baby producing trophies that cook and clean, but wait, I can only do the latter part of that deal." I stated.

"There is a way that a pack works, and you don't understand it yet, that's not your fault, but you will accept it sooner or later." Stefan's tone had taken on that commanding tone he always tried to use on me.

"I will not be just your barefoot housewife mate that spreads her legs on command for you!" I screamed shoving him in the chest, hard.

"I can't talk to you when you are like this." He said disgustedly as he turned away.

"I didn't ask you to!" I yelled, except this yell was tinged with hurt.

"I didn't ask to find my mate, I didn't ask to be raped, and I didn't ask to lose my chance at children!" I ranted at full volume. Stefan stopped in his tracks and turned toward me, a flash of tenderness in his eyes. "I didn't ask to be raised human, where everything about our world was myth. I didn't ask to be put in foster care after my parents disappeared without a trace. I didn't ask you to come talk to me, because I planned on getting very drunk and gripe about you to Jason all night, because he is my best friend, but the one thing I ask you to do is help Macie, and you tell me no, without a reason."

"I told you the reason, she is not one of us." He stated softly.

"Neither are Jason and I," I said turning away.

"What do you mean ‘Jason and I'" he asked, a hint of alarm in his tone.

"I mean, we are rogues, we don't play well with pack hounds." I said coldly.

"At least we can agree on that!" he growled back.

We glared at one another, which turned into a staring contest; whoever broke eye contact was going to lose. It would not be me. We stood there like statues for a while until we started to move toward one another until we were inches apart, staring the other down with contempt and hostility.

"You are gonna break, you know it. You are so drunk you are about to fall over." He stated.

"Don't underestimate me, I'll fight dirty." I growled.

"You couldn't fight dirty if you wanted to, I've met honor roll girls with more promiscuity than you."

I didn't break eye contact as I tore the shirt I was wearing in two, letting the shredded cloth fall to the floor, the shorts slid off easily and effortlessly and I stood before him nude, just waiting for his eyes to drift down.

His eyes didn't waver but I could see the hostility drain from his face as a fire was lit behind his eyes. I ran my hands from the tops of my thighs up to the sides of my breasts and then back down and around to my back. Strain began to show at the corners of his eyes as he forced himself to not look at my body.

"That is not fair." He whispered, seemingly not quite able to focus on speaking.

"I thought I wasn't promiscuous." I wagered.

From there I stepped up to his chest, and began to run my hands up his chest. I knew he wanted to watch my hands as I slowly slid them up to the collar of his shirt. With a theatric flourish his shirt came off and his eyes shot down to my body, the next second his arms were around me pulling me up to his level and wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Careful Jezebel," he rasped. "You are stoking a fire that is blazing for you already."

"Easy Stefan," I whispered into his ear. "You're pushing a boulder uphill, don't slip."

"What are you trying to prove?" he asked.

"That you need me more than I need you." I slurred. "Now are you going to do me, or not. Because we are in Jason's room."

"No, I'm not," and he dropped me, my ass hit the floor hard.

"What the fuck?!" I yelled.

"I'm not going to ‘DO' you," he growled down at me. "I want to make love to you, and show you how wonderful it can really be, not when you are trashed and don't even care. I don't want you like this." He turned away from me, and walked toward the door. "This is why rogues should just stay away from pack lands." He growled underneath his breath, expecting me not to hear, but I did.

I shot up from the floor, and to the door.

"Screw you Stefan!" I yelled after him and he turned around. "You should have just sent me walking when you found out I won't give you an heir. Or did you think I didn't know about that?" A few unmated males stopped to look at us and then their eyes drifted to my naked body.

Stefan noticed it and his growl echoed through the hallway. The males turned away and disappeared down the stairs.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? To not have to fight for this, to just be turned away so you can move on without being at fault." He stated. "If you want to leave, I won't stop you. I should have known a rogue couldn't step up to any responsibility."

Just like that he walked away, and I walked in the other direction. Jason and I left that night. Like we had originally planned I went as far from Melbrooke as I could get. As I boarded the plane I thought about something Stefan had said to me that first day in the woods after our first fight. If you leave I'll go with you… he lied. An alpha never abandons his pack. I went to the other side of the world, but there were two people I wanted to stay away from, Stefan and Madigan.

"Jez," I turned to Jason.

"I never told you about my mate did I?" he asked.

"No," I replied, shocked at hearing he had found his mate and shocked even more that he wasn't with her.

"Her name is Carlita, and I was twenty when I finally met her. European packs are a lot more traditional than the ones in the states and her parents had arranged a mating for her since she hadn't found her mate before turning eighteen." He explained. "It's an archaic rule from when packs were measured by the amount of males able to defend them. I submitted an appeal to the council, but was denied my claim to her because she was already pregnant." Jason said hollowly.

"I'm so sorry Jason, that is just" I trailed off at a loss for words.

"The point is that, you will survive not being with your mate," He surmised. "It hurt like hell in the beginning, but she is happy being a mother, and that is enough for me,"

"Are you saying Stefan is better off without me?" I asked, barely keeping the hurt out of my voice.

"I'm saying that you will survive this," Jason answered.