Chapter 24

Peyton

Iwas back at Rocky's place. Why? Because the universe was a cruel bitch and determined to show off what I couldn't have. I didn't want to be here, not with the taste of him still lingering on my lips and tongue. But someone shot up the club, and even though no one had said anything directly to blame me for what happened, he'd hauled me back here tonight with a steely determination that I couldn't fight against. Especially since the minute I'd shown up at the clubhouse, bullets went flying through the windows. He was probably trying to protect all the innocent people who stayed there from whatever bad luck I dragged around with me, and who was I to stop him from doing that?

It's what he did, after all. Protect people.

He'd left for a few hours to go and ‘deal with some shit' basically as soon as he'd dropped me off here, and I wondered if he would stay away until I fell asleep so he wouldn't have to see me.

So I sat in the middle of the bed with my legs crossed and thought about my life, feeling sorry for myself. Some life, I snorted, staring at the positive marker on the pregnancy test.

I was pregnant and single and jobless. That's right, jobless, according to an email from my former employers.

It was official, I had nothing. Nope, I had less than nothing, because after that kiss tonight? The one just before the gunshots? After that, I realized suddenly and pathetically that I was in love with Rocky.

Pathetic, huh?

I had no job. No man. No future. Nothing but me and a baby on the way. A secret baby on the way because there was no way in hell I could tell Rocky, not when he didn't even want anyone to know about what had happened between us. This baby was my secret the same way I was Rocky's secret. How was that for irony?

A knock on the bedroom door startled me. My heart raced even though I knew it was Rocky. I guess he was back, now, after all. "Yeah?"

The door opened and there he was, big and handsome and worried about me. It would've made me swoon if it wasn't so damn sad.

"Hey." His greeting was low and deep, with a hint of uncertainty.

"Hey yourself. What's up?"

"You made dinner." His dark brows crinkled.

"I did. Problem?"

"No," he sighed. "You made dinner, but you didn't eat. As far as I can tell, you haven't eaten all day." I opened my mouth to argue, but his gaze narrowed. "No dirty dishes and nothing in the trash, so don't lie to me, Peyton. You might love cooking, but you also love leaving dishes in the sink until just before bed."

I snapped my lips shut.

"You need to eat."

"I ate this morning."

"Peyton." His tone was still concerned, but impatience was leaking in. "You have to eat."

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters, Peyton. It fucking matters a lot." His big frame made the bed dip to one side, and when my body tipped, his arms wrapped around me. He held me tight like I mattered to him, and it felt so damn good, but it was so confusing my heart was happy and sad at the same time.

"Rocky, don't."

He squeezed me tighter. "Just let me fucking hold you, Peyton." He tucked me under his chin and held me in his strong, gripping embrace. It was nice. Fuck that, it was better than nice. It was goddamn perfect. Exactly what I needed right now.

But it was also a lie. Even still, I clung to him like he was my whole world, because in that moment, that was exactly what he was. My everything. The one thing keeping me alive—literally and figuratively—while my world fell apart. And suddenly I didn't care that he didn't want me forever, that I wasn't worth the confrontation with Nolan. He wanted me right now, and now was the only thing that was guaranteed. My arms tightened around him and I tilted my head up, brushing a soft kiss to the spot just under his jaw.

He tensed. "You sure?"

I nodded. I was certain that for the next few hours I would feel good. Damn good. And that was all that mattered right now.

"Fuck me like I matter, Rocky," I whispered as I pushed at his chest, until he was on his back, refusing to look away from me as I stripped him down. "Please. I need to feel it."

He fisted his big hand in my hair, and forced my eyes to his, which were dark and intense. "You matter, Peyton."

I felt a telltale sting in the back of my eyes, and I immediately dropped to start kissing his chest, so he wouldn't see.

"You matter a lot."

It was my turn to worship his big, beautiful body, partially to distract him from how pathetic I was, but mostly because I craved it. So that's just what I did. I kissed my way down his body, gripping strong muscular thighs as I swirled my tongue around his balls, skipping the throbbing erection that was hard to miss. I took my time circling back up and licking and sucking all six ridges of his abs, the hard mountains of his pectorals, and that sexy as fuck jawline.

"Peyton," he growled when I hovered over his mouth. The look on his face said he had more he wanted to say, but I didn't want to hear anything right now, so I did exactly what I wanted in that moment.

I kissed him. I kissed him long and slow and hard. I kissed him for all the kisses I couldn't have in the future. I kissed him for every day I wouldn't get to kiss him, and I ignored the insane urge to cry that welled up in me again. When the sensation refused to go away, I pulled back and practically dove to where he was long and thick and bobbing for my touch.

"You don't have to," he said.

I gripped his cock in my hand, stroking it just the way he liked as I looked at him. "This is for me." My lips covered his cock head and my tongue swirled around every inch that disappeared down my throat.

"Oh fuck, Peyton." His hips began to move, and I relished the movement because it meant he was losing his grip on his control.

I took him deeper and deeper, moaning at the sweet, musky taste of him. The sound of my name on his lips soaked my panties. His cock lengthened as it grew impossibly harder, the small bead of pre-cum on my tongue salty and perfect. He was close. Oh so fucking close, and it was just what I needed.

"Peyton," he said in warning, his hands gripping my hair just tight enough that it stung.

Instead of heeding the warning, I took him as deep as I could and swallowed. Over and over while I gripped his balls and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Fuck," he shouted as his cock pumped out his orgasm, coating my tongue and my throat until he was completely empty. "Fuck," he grunted again as his body shook.

I slid up the length of his body, not stopping until my pussy hovered over his mouth, teasing him simply because I could. Shivers stole up my spine when he gripped my ass and brought me down to his mouth, feasting on me like I was Thanksgiving dinner until I was so close to coming that my body was on fire and my nipples ached.

In that moment, Rocky tossed me on the bed, slid into me in one rough stroke, and pounded into me hard and fast, grunting with every stroke as if he couldn't get enough of me, the girl who wasn't worth it. His palm found its way to my cheek, and he fucked me like I meant something to him. Like I mattered.

I watched him and tried to hold on as another piece of my heart floated away. He owned another piece of my heart in that moment. His gaze was full of something I couldn't decipher and refused to try, because I was seeing what I wanted to see, not what was there.

"Rocky," I moaned and bucked my hips up to send him even deeper. "Yes."

He gripped my tits, squeezing my nipples so hard tears sprang to my eyes, pounding over and over until I had the most explosive orgasm of my life. His name left my lips on a barely audible whisper.

A loud roar left his lips when he once again filled my body with his pleasure. "Peyton. Fuck, sweetheart." His whispered words sounded like music to my ears. "I missed you."

It was exactly what I wanted to hear from him. Except I wanted him to mean it. But I knew he just meant that he missed fucking me, so I turned my back to him, and when he pulled me against his chest, I didn't fight, I didn't run away.

I accepted what he could give me because it was all he had to give.

And because it didn't matter that he didn't love me in this moment.

I might as well pretend to be happy, for a little while.