Chapter 22

Peyton

"Hey, girly, what's up? I thought maybe you forgot about me again." Lisa laughed lightly but the thread of worry in her voice was unmistakable, even through the phone.

"I didn't forget, but I didn't have my phone for a while," I told her, and explained about the other messages that I received. "I'm sorry to make you worry," I sniffled. "I feel like all I do anymore is apologize to you."

"Don't apologize for apologizing, I just want to know my bestie is safe."

"I am," I assured her. "I'm at…well, I'm at a biker clubhouse now."

"You what, now?"

I cringed, and then steeled myself and told her the whole story of where I've been, and more specifically, whoI've been with and what I've been doing with him. At first, I didn't tell her anything at all for her safety, but I've been away longer than I thought I would, and now that I was in the clubhouse and was basically never alone, I felt more comfortable letting others know where I was.

So I told her everything, my attraction to Nolan's dad, the fact that we've been fucking, and I let loose all the emotions I had been trying to clutch against my heart regarding how much more I wished I could get from this man, despite the fact that he didn't want the same as me.

And then I told her how Rocky and I finally had a final blow out, of sorts, and how that led me here to the clubhouse.

"You sure you don't want to stay with me?" she finally said, sounding as emotional as me from my story. "We can drink away our woes every night and braid each other's hair and shit, I'll look after you, I promise. And you'll have more space from Rocky, which it sounds like you need."

"Of course I want to stay with you, but I refuse to put you in danger," I sighed. "Now that I'm here, I'm not sure it's the right place to be. There are people here, women and an adorable little boy who could find themselves trapped in the middle of this shit, and I absolutely hate it." More tears threatened to fall, but I refused to let them because I was a stubborn bitch.

"If Rocky thinks you're safe there, I'd trust him. Even if he's not for you, he knows what he's doing."

"I am," I sighed. "Even though it kills me and my heart is breaking, I trust him. But now on top of everything, I have a bug I can't seem to shake. All I do is sleep and puke and it fucking sucks, Lisa."

"Oh, really? Fuck, that does suck. But, well, I'm gonna be blunt here, because you're shit with your contraception pills and—"

Her voice blurred to nothing, and I stared unseeing ahead of me for a second. Oh, holy fucking shit balls of shit.

I hadn't even thoughtof the pill since Chloe got murdered. I hadn't brought it with me that night and hadn't had a single one since then.

Oh. Oh, Jesus fuck. Oh fucking, fuckity, holy fucking shit.

"Lisa," I whispered when I realized she'd gone silent into the phone, and I heard her let out a sudden breath.

"Shit, I'm right, aren't I?" she said quietly.

My hands trembled and my voice broke as those pesky damn tears finally started their journey down my cheeks. "Lisa, I need your help."

"Anything. Name it."

I opened my mouth and snapped it shut. Could I really ask her to do this with the risk she might be followed? Whoever was texting me knew me somehow, and anyone who knew me also knew Lisa. "No. Never mind, I'll figure it out."

"No way," she said. "Fuck that. You need me and I'll be there. Screw this pencil-dick fucker trying to scare you. Pregnancy test. Chocolate. Romance and true crime books. What else do you need?"

Her words made me smile through my tears. "I love you so fucking much, Lisa."

"Of course you do. I am amazing and I'm bringing you love and murder, what's not to love?"

"Nothing I can think of." I laughed, actually laughed even though my whole life was a fucking mess right now. "Okay, I'm going to send you the address of the clubhouse I'm in, but please be careful and make sure you aren't being followed."

"Got it," she said seriously. "I've been waiting to use my detective skills to evade a tail, and this is my chance. I'll see you soon." She ended the call before I could say anything else, and I flopped on the queen size bed with a sigh.

I couldn't be pregnant. I mean, it was totally possible that I could be considering my lack of good sense where Rocky and his thick cock were concerned, but I couldn't be. The universe wouldn't be so cruel as to heap so many hurdles in my way in a row, could it? Instead of wallowing in the moment, I decided I would wait until I had something else to wallow over. For now, I would wait in the main hub, as if I belonged there when everyone knew I didn't. I headed out of my room for the first time in a little while.

The clubhouse was set up with a big old pub in the center, what they called the main hub since everyone seemed to converge there for most activities. They had pool tables and booths and darts and a bar. There was a kitchen to one side, and even a dance floor of sorts.

Stairs led from the pub-like building to a bunch of offices and a meeting room, where they held what Rocky called church. And then on either side, two wings stretched out. One side was used as a sort of warehouse and storage, and on the other was where I stayed. My side was a two-story building too, filled with rooms and living spaces and even a big laundry room. It was set up for people like me who needed a somewhere to stay, as well as for ‘nighttime' activities for the boys, aka when they wanted to fuck and smoke weed, but didn't want to take it home. The club bunnies—some of whom were strippers who worked at the MC's shops, but the rest were just sort of…MC groupies, as far as I understood—were often seen wandering all around this wing.

It's odd. It was a pretty sleazy space if you thought about, but I didn't hate it. The girls were always fully clothed as per the president's rules, since sometimes refugees or families occupied this space, and there was something super communal about it. The girls were mostly actually pretty sweet, except for this one bitch called Simone, but I just avoided her whenever I stepped out of my room, like now.

I walked down the long hallway of the living wing and stepped into the main hub.

The first thing I saw when I swung open the door was Rocky.

It was like my body just knew wherever he was when he was close and sought him out. Not this time. He leaned against the bar, smiling like he had no problems in the world, leaning close as he chatted with Tess, a pretty club bunny with black hair and a Southern twang when she spoke.

I scowled at her, even though I'd bumped into her a couple of times and she was actually really sweet. In that moment though, I couldn't have cared less how nice she was, because she was getting all of Rocky's attention as if he'd all but forgotten about me.

I was nothing more than an itch to be scratched, a blip on his lengthy radar. I'm fine with it, I lied to myself as I dropped down in an empty chair with my back against the wall.

I wasn't jealous. Not really. I mean, I had no right to be jealous because Rocky wasn't mine. Whatever I felt for him was one-sided and I was fine with it. Just fucking fine.

I told myself that I was just as happy to be out of his home and his orbit as he clearly was. It was a lie, of course, but soon enough it wouldn't be. Soon enough the hurt would fade and the threat would be dealt with, and then I could get started with the rest of my life.

"Whoa, girl! Who pissed in your oatmeal?" Lisa stood in front of me looking concerned.

I blinked, shocked to see her in front of me so soon. "Hey. What are you doing here already?"

She glanced down at her fitness tracker and back at me with a frown. "It's been more than two hours. Sorry about the tardiness, but I called Nolan." She pointed to where he stood by the bar with Rocky. "I figured if someone was watching it would be less suspicious this way. Just a girl vising her friend's dad with him, rather than a bestie sneaking in to see her hidden-away girlie who isn't supposed to be here."

I smiled, trying really hard to be as happy as I was pretending, and patted the seat beside me. "Who knew you could be so smart andhot, at the same time?"

Lisa grinned and plopped her cute butt down beside me. "Just about as smart and hot as you are."

"Did you bring everything?"

"Of course. It's a care package full of goodies, including chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate, because you seem sad, and I figured you could use it. Seeing you now? I'm sure you can use it."

"I'm not sad," I lied, and pulled the bag across the table towards me. "I'm just stuck in the middle of a nightmare that I hope isn't about to get worse." The last thing I needed to be was pregnant by my ex-boyfriend's dad who doesn't want me. "Thank you for this. You got the other thing I asked for?"

"Sure," Lisa said. "It's hidden under the chocolate."

"Nolan wasn't there when you bought it, was he?" After seeing him turn up with her I had a horrible thought that perhaps he knew.

"Seriously? What do you take me for, an amateur?"

"Thanks, babe. I appreciate it."

Lisa stood abruptly from the seat beside me and gathered me in her arms, squeezing me in a suffocating hug. "I've missed you, girl. Life isn't the same without you. How long is this gonna last?"

I shrugged as she sat back down. "We've found a few things that I hope turn into something, but at this point I think I should just get on with my life and see what happens."

"No way. You stay here and you stay safe. I didn't stay in this dustbowl town to bury my bestie. You'll get through this. You have to."

Did I? Maybe this was exactly where my life was supposed to end. Maybe people like me who came from defective genes weren't meant to go the distance. I had a good run even if it felt incomplete, and maybe I should just be happy with that. "We'll see. Can you stay a bit?"

"I have a meeting in an hour and I can't miss it, but if you need me to grab something else, to chat, or to show up with a tarp and duct tape, give me a call and I'll be here in no time."

Her words put a reluctant smile on my face. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind if it comes down to it."

"For what it's worth," Lisa said with a suddenly lowered voice, as she leaned in closer, "I think Nolan is finally starting to get the hint."

I snorted a laugh. "He's the least of my worries. In fact, the only thing I'm worried about anymore is myself. Making it out of this nightmare alive so I can start living again."

"That's my girl." She grinned and hugged me again. "I can see why you like Rocky, by the way. He's got that hot older dude tough guy thing going on in spades. I'll bet the sex is off the charts."

I nodded. "It's so good it made its own chart."

"Damn," she whispered wistfully. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." We stood at the same time, staring at each other, unwilling to say goodbye even though we had to. "I'll call or text you tonight. Good luck with your meeting."

"Thanks." She gave me one last hug and motioned for Nolan to meet her at the door. I watched and smiled. If those two had gotten together instead of Nolan and I, they would've made a much better couple, and Nolan would be happy right now.

But then again, I never would have met Rocky if I hadn't been close enough with his son to know I could trust him before I'd met him.

I glanced at Rocky, who had his back to me.

I still couldn't decide if that would have been a good thing, or not.