Chapter 71

CHAPTER 71

I left so Mom could kiss Max.

I'm all for them doing that and everything else a lot because I really don't want Max to go. I mean, I know he's been trying to get back on the Trail all week. And we just met him. I know Mom says she's okay with Max going, but she's not happy. She's worried about me. I'm worried about me.

But I'll be okay. I mean, I had nightmares last night, and I startle easily now, but my mom says that's completely normal after . . . after Serena, and it was only last night. I can handle this.

I'm not sorry she's dead. I know that's awful, but I'm glad she can't come after me again. I'm glad Norman's dead; he tased Darius and was going to kill him. I told Max, I told him I knew I was wrong but I was glad they were dead, and he said he was glad, too, that'd I'd have been crazy if I didn't feel that way, that there was selfish evil in the world and sometimes the only way to stop it was to wipe it out of existence.

My mom wouldn't say that, she'd tell me it was all right to feel that way, but she doesn't believe in guns, she says guns give people the power to kill from far away, that people think life is a TV show, that they think life is cheap and they're wrong, it's expensive, it costs everything you have just to get through it, and nobody has the right to take that fight away from you, and I think she's right, but I also think Max is right. And Ozzie was right when he told me to always fight back, not to let anybody try to take my life away from me. I think he meant not to let people tell me what to do, but now I think he meant it literally, too.

The thing about Ozzie was, I was safe with him. I got scared once when I was little, and he sat me down and told me I didn't have to worry, that he'd stop anybody or anything that tried to hurt me. Ozzie never lied to me. I know he lied to other people, but anything he told me was real. But he's gone now. My mom is amazing, but she's up against stuff here that's really bad. Max knows that stuff, Max stops people. So I think Ozzie's still here in Max. Like maybe he showed up here because Ozzie sent him. Max is just like Ozzie except younger. Stronger. Not as grumpy but still serious. I think Max would stop anything that came for us. My mom would die for me, but I don't want her to. Max would stop anything that came for her, too.

Came for us.

I know he's going to leave again, but he said he'd stay another week just to make sure we were all right.

A week isn't enough, he needs to be here .

So I stole his phone when he wasn't looking—my mother isn't the only one who can pick pockets—and I put my number in, and then I texted my phone so I have his number, too. He probably won't answer if I call, but I'm thinking he'll read a text. I can do a lot with texts.

I have a plan . . .