5. Five

Five

Cass

The ocean stretches endlessly this morning. Its steady rhythm usually calms me, but today, it’s just a blur—an empty expanse that mirrors the storm of thoughts I can’t quiet.

Kendrick will be here soon, bringing Cassidy, my daughter, with her. My daughter—the words seem strange. I have a daughter and can’t wait to get closer to her—and her mother. The idea fills me with a strange mix of nerves and excitement, a blend of emotions I haven’t felt since those early days on stage when Kendrick was my opening act.

Twelve years ago, Kendrick was the spark that lit me up. Just thinking about those nights—the way she moved on stage, her voice laced with something so pure and pristine that it captivated everyone—sends me back. I remember the rush I felt when our eyes would meet across a crowded room or right before a show. And those nights we spent together, tangled up in each other’s arms—losing all track of time.

The salty breeze carries me back to that last night together, a memory etched so vividly that it feels like I’m reliving it. It was bitter-sweet. I didn’t realize she was saying goodbye–if I would have known… I finally give in and let my mind drift back to that night.

“Cass! This is it! They’re signing you. I’m so happy for you,” her clear gray eyes practically glowed with pride and something else—I remember wondering what she was feeling, but I was so full of myself and couldn’t wait to hit it big.

I leaned forward, taking her in my arms. “Let’s celebrate!” I whispered in her ear as I picked her up and carried her to the back of the bus—to the bedroom we shared.

Laying her in the middle, I quickly began to strip off her clothes. “What was the news you wanted to tell me?” I asked in between heated kisses.

My eyes went wide when I saw what she was wearing under her clothes. It was a black lace teddy with tiny red bows—my favorite for her to wear.

She gave me a hesitant smile, and then it turned sultry—sexy. “This was my news… I wanted to surprise you,” she said, eyes darkening with passion.

“Don’t take it off. I want to make love to you in that outfit.” I gave her a smug smile, using my teeth to unsnap the closure between her thighs. Her fingers grasped my hair and gave it a tug as her desire burned higher. Lapping at her slick folds, delving deep into her— it didn’t take long for her to cry out my name and then come in my arms. When she finished, I grabbed her around the waist and rolled, pulling her on top of me.

She automatically sat up. Her blonde hair framed her face as she looked at me, her eyes filled with an emotion I’ll never forget. When she threw back her head, the tips of her long hair teased my thighs. Bunching the black lace teddy up around her waist, I settled her over my rock-hard erection. She moaned as I filled her, taking all of me. She then stopped for a moment, looking directly into my eyes. “I love you, Cass.”

My hands reached out for her breasts, pinching her nipples to taunt peaks through the sheer fabric. She started to move slowly at first, but soon, neither of us had the breath or strength for words as I let her set the pace. She brought us both to a shuddering climax. We shouted out the other’s name as we found our bliss.

Later, as we fell asleep in each other’s arms, she said it again, this time as a whisper, “I love you, Cass. I’ll always love you.”

I don’t remember answering her. I was too tired from our lovemaking, still flying high from being signed by a label and getting an agent. Too confident that she would always be there by my side. It wasn’t until later, the next night, that I found out she was gone. She’d left me—without a note, without a single word of explanation.

I was devastated and wanted to go after her, but I had no idea where to look. She left no clues. And I had already signed the contract with Derrick that morning, wondering why she wasn’t there to cheer me on. But the contract went into effect, and the show had to go on. Derrick, the agent assigned to me, promised to try and find her–but it was like she had just disappeared.

The first few years were hectic, traveling from place to place. I hardly had time even to miss her—but I did. The night is when I would ache for her—her warmth, her body, her love.

But as my popularity grew, women started throwing themselves at me, and I took what they willingly offered—enjoyed it even. And slowly, I thought of Kendrick less over the years. I never forgot her, but I pushed her to the back of my thoughts, only bringing out her memory in my lowest moments. Sam was the only one who knew about her or even remembered that once years ago, I used to be head over heels in love.

It’s only been this last year that the gold started to lose its shimmer—The gilding began to fade. Under the glimmering gold was an emptiness, a longing for someone special to share things with.

Even after all these years, I still think about that night—how the stormy depths of her eyes shone with something I couldn’t quite name. It haunts me. Was it love or something else—regret, maybe? I always wondered, but now I know that she was planning on leaving me even then. The only difference is now I know why. She was carrying my baby.

I drag my hand through my hair, trying to shake off the memories, but they cling to me like sea mist.

It’s not just my daughter I want to know better; it’s Kendrick, too. I want to understand why she left and what she’s been through. Underneath everything, is she still the same girl I loved back then?

Seeing her last night only brought everything back with a force I wasn’t ready for. The truth is, I never got over her. A question lingers that I haven’t been able to shake since I learned Cassidy was my daughter: could there still be something between us after all this time?

When the car pulls up, I take a deep breath, preparing myself. Cassidy steps out first, but my eyes catch on Kendrick, following behind her. Even now, she’s just as beautiful, though different in ways I can’t quite explain. The dark brown hair is new, a disguise of sorts, but there’s no hiding those eyes that remind me of a deep, clear pool or how her glance is warry yet hopeful at the same time.

“Hey, Cassidy,” I say, keeping my voice steady as I greet her, but my eyes can’t help straying to her mother, noticing the way she holds herself and the slight tension in her posture.

Cassidy’s voice pulls me back. “Hi.” She gives me a small, tentative smile, glancing back at her mom as if waiting for her approval.

Kendrick’s gaze is guarded, but she gives Cassidy a reassuring nod, and together, they step up to the house. I hold the door open, catching a whiff of Kendrick’s familiar scent as she passes. It hits me like a punch—warm and real, a memory that leaps out of the past and settles right here in front of me.

The house seems brighter as I lead them through to the main room. Cassidy glances around, her eyes wide as she takes in the view of the ocean through the floor-to-ceiling windows and glass sliding doors. “You can see the beach from here?”

I smile, nodding. “Yeah. I thought you might like it.”

Cassidy’s face lights up, but I notice Kendrick’s expression softening for a moment as she watches her daughter’s reaction. There’s pride there, a fierce love I admire. When her gaze shifts back to me, it’s like a bolt of electricity, and I forget how to breathe for a second.

We settle in the living room, an awkward silence settling over us as we find our places. I watch Cassidy set her backpack and worn guitar case beside her. Kendrick brought a small bag as well. She sits beside our daughter, instinctively protective.

I clear my throat, glancing between the two of them. “So, Cassidy,” I say, leaning forward. “Let’s see. I already know you’re really into music.”

Cassidy’s face lights up, nodding eagerly. “Yeah. Mom got me my guitar last Christmas, and I’ve been working on my songs. Mom taught me some, but I’ve been learning a lot at school, too.”

My gaze flickers to Kendrick, my mind replaying all the times I would catch her watching me as I strummed my guitar in our early days. When creating music was still special and perfect. She excelled at singing–a natural talent. I remember every note of her voice and every look she’d send me while performing. There’s still a tug in my chest when I look at her now, remembering how we were inseparable back then. And here she is, her eyes still holding that quiet spark as she listens to Cassidy talk about music.

“Your mom taught you, huh?” I say, glancing at Kendrick, letting the warmth in my smile linger. “She’s talented, that’s for sure.”

Kendrick stiffens a little, brushing a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “Cassidy’s been taking it to the next level,” she says, but there’s a satisfaction in her voice, hinting at the pride she has in her daughter.

My eyes flicker from Cassidy to Kendrick, and I can’t stop myself from asking, “Kendrick, what happened to your hair?”

Her eyes flash with surprise, but she quickly masks it. “Oh, the blonde was… well, it felt like a different lifetime.”

Nodding, I state, “And people may have recognized you. Is that why you never sing in public?”

Kendrick’s eyes dart to mine. “My voice was never as distinct as yours—“

Cutting her off, I say, “But you were popular. We were both starting to make a name for ourselves.”

“I… I guess,” Kendrick murmurs with a shrug. Clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

I lean back, trying not to push but unable to keep my curiosity at bay. “Will you ever go back to your natural blonde?” I let my gaze linger on her, watching the way her cheeks color just slightly. “It suited you.”

For a split second, her gaze softens, but then she looks away, shrugging. “Maybe.” The word is light, but there’s a hint of nostalgia in her tone. She glances back at Cassidy, refocusing on her, but I can see that my words have stirred something.

“So,” I say, shifting my attention back to Cassidy, who’s been watching us with curious eyes. “Your song was impressive.”

Cassidy grins, her excitement spilling over. “Yeah? I was hoping maybe you’d like to hear it again. I mean, only if you want.”

I can’t stop my smile. “I’d love to. You know, writing songs is one of the best ways to find your voice. It’s where everything starts.”

Her face lights up, and for a moment, she looks exactly like Kendrick did back when we were both starting out. It reminds me of all I’ve missed and the moments I’ve lost. But at least I have this chance now.

As the conversation drifts back to Cassidy, I let myself relax, listening to her talk about her music class, her friends, and the bands she loves. Every word, every expression, is like a gift. She’s sharing pieces of her life that I didn’t even know I wanted so much. I glance over at Kendrick, and she catches my gaze. There’s something in her eyes that wasn’t there before, as if she’s letting herself finally relax.

But the unspoken questions and tension still hang between us. Twelve years is a long time, but the way I feel sitting here with her, I wonder if those years could disappear as easily as they seem to right now.

After a while, as the sun dips lower, Kendrick glances at the clock and starts to rise. “It’s getting late,” she says, her voice tinged with reluctance. “We should head home.”

A pang of disappointment hits me, and I glance between them, feeling the need to hold on just a little more. “How about you stay a while longer? It’s the weekend, and you’re already here. Cassidy could swim in the ocean, maybe play her song for me?” I direct my gaze at Kendrick, hoping she’ll pick up on the plea in my eyes.

She hesitates, looking torn. I can tell she’s balancing her protectiveness with the same tug of curiosity I feel. Then she nods, a soft sigh escaping her. “Alright. We’ll stay a little longer.”

Cassidy beams, and the tension in the room lifts just a bit. I can’t help the surge of relief that fills me. It’s a start, just one small step, but it feels like something more. This time, I’ll get a chance to make things work—not only with Cassidy but hopefully with Kendrick, too.