Chapter 33

Tommy

Sayinggoodbye to Harmony Place was hard.

I’d made friends here, learned a lot about myself and my marriage, and finally started coming to terms with both Carter’s life and death.

Not to mention, I had my girl back.

It was a little scary to leave and head back to the real world, but the band was starting rehearsals in two days, we had another meeting scheduled for tomorrow, and I had to go back to the orthopedic surgeon at the end of the week so he could gauge the progress on the knee.

There was a lot going on that required my attention, but the biggest thing on my mind was Harley.

She had things going on too.

River was a priority, of course, but she was also going to be at the band meeting, she was planning to start interviewing full-time nannies right away because Wynter had apparently quit her job at the hospital. I hadn’t pressed for details, but it seemed like Harley was worried about her.

Instead of going home, I headed straight to Z’s house.

If we weren’t on tour and didn’t have any kind of engagements, Z’s house was like the rock star version of family dinner on Sundays. His mom and/or Presley cooked, the band, significant others, and extended family were all invited, and it was a nice way to end or start the week, depending on your perspective.

I hadn’t called to let them know I was coming, opting to just drop in unannounced. Harley and I had decided to take the rest of today apart, so she could talk to Wynter and spend quality time with River. We’d see each other at the meeting tomorrow, which was also at Z’s house, and make plans from there.

“Well, hey, stranger!” Z answered the door with a grin, reaching out to pull me in for a hug, clapping me on the back harder than usual.

“Ow,” I said, pretending to wince. “What the fuck?”

“Making sure that place didn’t break you,” he said, the intensity in his gaze at odds with his grin.

“Daddy!” Jeremy came toddling down the hall and wrapped his little arms around Z’s legs. “Up!”

“I left the room for, like, a minute and a half, little dude!” Z said playfully, scooping him up like he weighed nothing. Jeremy giggled and beat his fists against Z’s shoulders.

“Rawr!!!” He held up his hands, mimicking claws.

“We’re going through a dinosaur stage,” Z said to me, laughing and blowing a raspberry on Jeremy’s stomach.

“Ahhh!” Jeremy squealed with laughter, and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.

Maybe more than a pang.

I’d convinced myself kids were annoying and unnecessary, that I could live a perfectly happy and fulfilled life without them. Lots of people did. Kids didn’t equal happiness. Yet when I thought about Harley with River, and watched Z with Jeremy, I realized that while it wasn’t necessary, it was definitely a bonus under some circumstances.

Like the circumstance where the love of your life already had a kid that didn’t have a father.

And I was up for the job.

I didn’t know when I’d decided that but watching Z with Jeremy made me realize that I wanted what he had. In one of my sessions with Allisha, we’d dug into why I’d been so against adoption. A lot of it had been my ego. If Harley hadn’t pressured me about having kids, I never would have discovered there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t quite that black and white, but that had been the gist of it.

Now that we were back together, I had a different perspective on things, and frankly, River needed a dad and Carter had wanted me to be him.

More than that, I wanted to be his dad.

“Look who’s back!” Kellan got up and gave me a much gentler hug than Z had, and King held out his fist for a bump.

“You look refreshed!” Devyn said, coming over to hug me.

I’d thought it would be weird to have a woman in the band, but now that she’d been with us almost a year, I couldn’t imagine it without her. Beautiful, smart, and so fucking talented, she wasn’t Carter, but she was an entity all her own. She’d taken on the role of Onyx Knight’s bass player and made it hers. There was no other way to put it. And not only had she stolen Kingston’s heart, but she’d also wormed her way into all of our hearts, just in a slightly different way.

“I feel good,” I told her, my smile genuine.

“You been to the doc yet?” Kellan asked.

“I see him Friday,” I told him. “But I can rehearse, just without full use of my right leg. I’ll play without the bass drum until I see him.”

“Is that even possible for you?” Z asked, making a face.

I laughed. “I guess we’re going to find out.”

“Thomas, have you lost weight?” Z’s mom gave me a once over and the look on her face told me she didn’t like what she saw.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, pretending to be serious. “They starved me at the rehab center.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened before it clicked that I was fucking with her. Then she narrowed her gaze and pointed to a chair on the patio. “Go sit down before I ground your sorry ass.”

We all burst out laughing and it felt good to be back in the fold.

“So, how’s it really going?” Z asked once Presley brought me a plate. Everyone was talking amongst themselves around the table and Z and I were at the end.

“It’s good,” I said. “Really good. Harley and I…”

“Yeah?” He didn’t look surprised. “It’s about damn time.”

I frowned. “Really?”

He frowned back. “Well, yeah. You two were made for each other. I didn’t know exactly what happened between you, but it kind of makes sense now. Carter accidentally getting her pregnant and you not being able to have kids. I mean, she was probably freaking out.”

“But we all thought she cheated,” I protested.

“You thought she cheated,” he said, shrugging. “We thought there was more to the story.”

“So, I was the only one who believed it?” Great. Now I felt even worse than I had to begin with.

“You were hurt and too close to it to see things clearly,” he said. “But we all knew Carter and Harley wouldn’t have carried on behind your back. If she was pregnant, there had to be a reasonable explanation that didn’t include cheating. We were just waiting for someone to get their head out of their ass. Can I assume that’s finally happened?”

I snorted. “It’s a long story, but yeah, head has been extricated and we’re working on things.”

“Then why isn’t she here?”

“Something going on with Wynter, so she needed to be at home tonight. But you’ll see her tomorrow. And probably a lot after that.” I paused. “I also need a favor.”

“Anything.”

“I’d like her to be in one of our new videos. I know the first one is already in production, and the second one is supposed to be clips from performances, but what about if we do something different for ‘Destiny and Dust.’ Instead of the mirage of live shots.”

“What are you thinking?”

“A throwback to our very first video.”

“The one she was in.”

I nodded. “I know it’s a little off brand for us right now, but I want this. I need it. I need it for her. It’s hard to explain.”

“You don’t have to explain,” he said softly. “If you need it, we’ll make it happen.”

“What are we making happen?” Kellan asked from Z’s other side.

“What about a throwback style video for Destiny?” Z asked casually. “Something along the lines of the ‘Shiny Pieces’ video? Old school.”

“Oh, would Harley come back and make a cameo?” King asked, his eyes meeting mine.

He somehow knew I’d already suggested that but was playing dumb so it would seem like his idea.

I wasn’t sure why, but I loved him for it.

This would make it less embarrassing for Harley, and he knew that too.

God, I fucking loved these guys.

“I’m not sure how she’ll feel,” I said slowly. “She’s a little self-conscious about her body after having a baby, but I think she’s as perfect as ever.”

“Have we seen the post-baby body?” Kellan asked, arching his brows.

I gave him a look. “Dude. Seriously?”

“What?” He held up his hands, palms up. “Because we’ve never talked about our sex lives before? What did they do to you in rehab—take out your fun lobe?”

I snorted. “No, dickhead. It’s just still new and I want you guys to be a little more sensitive around her for a while. Until we find our new normal.”

“Did he just say he wants us to be sensitive? Did we stop being a rock band?” Devyn asked, making a face. She was just messing around, though. She understood. They all did. They just felt the need to bust my balls.

“Fuck all of you,” I said. “Except you, Mama Z.”

She laughed.

“What did I do?” Presley demanded, protruding her lower lip a little.

“Eh. You always side with Z,” I told her, trying to keep a straight face.

“That’s not fair.” She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Look, you know I love to push the envelope, but sometimes it’s good to go in a completely different direction,” King said thoughtfully. “Frankly, I think old school is a great idea. Let’s do it. But we need to bring this to Sasha ASAP. I know for a fact all three videos are in pre-production, so if we’re going to change things up, we have to do it now.”

“If it costs us money, take it out of my share,” I said, digging into the prime rib that was currently getting cold in front of me.

“Fuck off with that,” Devyn said, shaking her head. “If there’s a cost, we share it. Just like we share every other expense. We made a decision to change course together, so we’ll split any costs together.”

I really fucking loved my band.